1st Person Descriptions

EclipsesMuse · Dec 15, 2009

One of my betas complained about not having enough of the MC's description. I did have some in the story in a sort of info-dumpish way. (Before you get onto me about this, I am going to change it.) I am looking for suggestions for adding the MC description in 1st person POV.

I am trying to stay away from the reflection angle. I know that some can be put in coversation and some actions. What else is there?

Linda Adams · Dec 15, 2009

Work it into the story. One of the best ones I saw was in an early Anita Blake book, where the main character had a bit of backstory involving her appearance and resembling her dead mother, but not the stepmother the father later married.

Cyia · Dec 15, 2009

I had one of my MC's argue with her driver's license (she was in disguise and in a bad mood).

The MC can compare her looks to another character - "I'd love to have curls like that for one day".

If she's short, you can use something like a carnival ride or a McDonald's PlayLand height meter (friends think it's hilarious to see if you're "tall enough" even when you're around 5'. One of my cousin's (lousy creep is 6'6" - stole all my height genes from the family pool!!!) used to use my head as an armrest or coaster. Likewise, if she's tall, they could make a remark at a tunnel that the clearance is only 8', so she has to lie down in the back.

YAwriter72 · Dec 15, 2009

I'm vague. On purpose. It lets the reader imagine what the MC looks like mostly. I give hints, like shoulder length hair, or blue eyes (She laments about having plain ole blue eyes when her best friend has incredible green ones) or reference her body type by the clothes she wears.

scarletpeaches · Dec 15, 2009

One of my readers years ago complained of the lack of physical description in my stories. My reply? "That's your job."

It doesn't matter one jot what my characters look like. The important thing is what they do. Nine times out of ten that's the case for other writers, too.

kaitie · Dec 15, 2009

I agree that I prefer less physical description. You know some really minor details about my characters, hair color, etc., but for the most part I don't go into what they look like. That's partly because I always get frustrated when I read and there is a really detailed description and the character looks nothing like what I see in my mind. Those descriptions are okay, but they have to come early enough that I haven't thought of my own idea of how they look.

Otherwise, the ideas offered by others are really good.

BrooklynLee · Dec 15, 2009

Sometimes you can figure out a lot about a person by what they don't like, or do like (and emphasize) about their appearance, and you can work in those details in a first person POV. It doesn't have to be a full-on description, but something like "I pulled on the dark blue sweater that John always liked, because he said it brought out my eyes." Or, "My hair was a frizzy mess -- as usual, it had been far too long since I'd gotten it cut." Or even, "at least this time, being the tallest person in the room had its advantages." None of these examples are scintillating prose, but they are small ways of getting details of physical appearance into to a first person piece.

Shadow_Ferret · Dec 15, 2009

My story is in first person too and I don't think he ever describes himself. No one has ever brought it to my attention.

Clifton Hill · Dec 15, 2009

As they say, it doesn't belong in the story if it doesn't move it forward. Too much description takes away from the flow of your story and bogs down the reader with too much visual imagery of something that may be irrelevant. So give them enough to have a "flavor" of the visual of the character. I usually think to myself how I visualize the character in my mind and I throw down the top couple aspects that stand out most to me. It has worked so far I think. In some cases for minor characters I don't even bother with a description as what they are doing is more important.

Matera the Mad · Dec 15, 2009

Peachy said it.

Albannach · Dec 15, 2009

Occasionally you'll have a matter of appearance that is important in the plot--for example fairly early on I needed to establish that a main character was blond because it was a BIG plot point later. I just said she pulled her blond braid over her shoulder. Otherwise there was no real description of her. You could figure out she was fit and probably muscular from what she did.

My more recent one, I really wanted a strong picture of my main character for several plot reasons. I had a scene early on in another character's PoV so it was easy to get a description into that. I wouldn't have done it only for a description.

bearilou · Dec 16, 2009

Normally, I find in first PoV that as the others have said, they aren't needed. The writer usually fills all that in. On occasion, another character may make some comment about how the mc looks.

But! I just started a book* in first PoV and the way the author 'told' me how the character looks was clever (for me, at any rate) and it felt very much like a poke in the eye to the editor that may have told him 'we need a character description'.

The author started us off in the story with the mc's partner getting killed and him, heroically, getting out of it alive only to mourn her death. He mourned, gave us a bit of insight into his character and how he came to be an Inquisitor** and his general mind set. After a rundown of his qualities and reminds you of his excellent skill with a blade (he is a bit arrogant), he finishes off with "My eyes are dark, my hair darker and thick. These things matter little. Come and let me show you how I killed [the main antagonist]."

Yeah...pretty much a 'look in the mirror and tell us what you see' but I don't know. Like I said, it came off as reading that the author was told to put it in and he did, with a firm poke. It worked for me, I'm already in love with this character and I love this author for it very much.

* A caveat here is that it's a novel written for a RPG universe, so, as in many romances having 'the formula' that editors like authors to use, I suspect these kinds of novels also have a formula that requires some sort of description of the character.

** I'm a shameless h0r for Inquisitor characters. *sighs happily*

bonitakale · Dec 16, 2009

I think BrooklynLee has it right. There's a happy medium, of course, and not many of us want to hear details about the heroine's lush body, namebrand shoes, and long legs. But a hint or two, just a diving board from which the reader can leap into her own imagination, is useful to many. And, as in her examples, these hints can give you insight into the character, and make her more --or less -- sympathetic.

Lady Ice · Dec 16, 2009

I don't bother with descriptions of the MC unless they are particularly relevant. Normally I give an indication of whether they are 'average', 'pretty', or 'ugly' and their height if it's important.
The character's physical appearance should match their personality- or if not, it should contrast it.

DeleyanLee · Dec 16, 2009

Shadow_Ferret said:
My story is in first person too and I don't think he ever describes himself. No one has ever brought it to my attention.

Having read Ed's story, I can describe his MC to you. There's no description of him in the laundry-list sense of things, but there's scads of description in how he handles himself, how he reacts to things, how well he performs certain tasks (running, jumping, fighting, etc), how other people (particularly the opposite sex) react to him.

That's how I do all my description of first-person characters, honestly. Unless it's important that a certain tidbit of information comes out, I see no point in mentioning it. And, honestly, if I have to have a laundry-list description of a character, that means there's not enough personality there for me paint my own mental picture.

Red-Green · Dec 16, 2009

And remember that we do talk about our appearances in normal conversation. I recently was remarking on how thrilled I am that the trend in hip-hugger jeans means I can finally find pants that don't come up to my boobs. I am that short-waisted. And I remark on my crazy messed up hair--it's like a strawberry blonde afro. We say things like, "It's hard work, even for a big guy like me." Or "I can't wear hats because my head looks like a pumpkin." It's when a writer tries to do a really flattering first person description that it comes off as strange. Because only the truly vapid self-reference their lustrous locks or adorable button nose.

Cyia · Dec 16, 2009

One of the things I did to get the POV character to mention her looks was for her future best friend to suggest using a nickname so no one would get them mixed up. (Their real names sound similar). The MC says there's no way anyone would mistake her stick straight white hair (biological reason it's white, not blonde) for the friend's black curls.

In that case, it's an essential detail. If it wasn't I'm not sure I'd have bothered.

EclipsesMuse · Dec 16, 2009

Thanks, for the advice. In my story some aspects of the character's physical description are needed, just not to the extent that my beta wanted. I can definately use the suggestions to better add them into the story.

kidcharlemagne · Feb 3, 2010

Up in the Air

Just read Up in the Air where the first character describes himself as handsome.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 3, 2010

I try not to describe the MC at all, except through his actions, or in how others react to him.

maestrowork · Feb 3, 2010

My 1st person narrator describes his parents. And so you kind of have a feeling what he looks like. And other character reacts to his looks... I think that's more effective than the narrator trying to describe himself to others. We rarely do that, unless we're writing a personal ad. Well, too self-conscious for me.

Lady Ice · Feb 3, 2010

kidcharlemagne said:
Just read Up in the Air where the first character describes himself as handsome.

But this could be a way of indicating the character's personality. If he sees himself as handsome, he might be narcissistic.

Just because a character describes something in a certain way, it doesn't mean that it is true.

scarletpeaches · Feb 3, 2010

No one's saying it is. If a character describes themselves as handsome, it doesn't tell me they are. It tells me they think they are and I for one am more interested in how someone thinks than what they look like.

ETA: Which is almost exactly what you said, so just ignore me.

Lady Ice · Feb 4, 2010

I think the biggest mistake people make in 1st person POV is that their character always tells the truth. 1st person narrators are always unreliable.

EclipsesMuse · Feb 4, 2010

It shouldn't that they tell the truth, but what they think is the truth.

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