Can I write a chapter, then have the character forget it?

I'm assuming it's written in third person? Even then it seems like breaking POV if we're in his head because the reader would know more than the POV character does.

It wouldn't sit well with me, unless the story is being told after it's all over and he remembers everything.

If something happens which he forgets, how could he then tell us about it, even in third person?

The thing is, the mystery of the situation would be lost. The character would be stumped as to what's going on but the reader would know, hence, no suspense.

How about skipping from where his memory's lost to waking up...then having him gradually discover what went on? You can still use your 'darling' chapter, just have the info drip-fed to the reader as the character finds out what went on.

Works for me. If I were a reader, I would accept it, with the assumption that he would remember later on.

scarletpeaches said:

How about skipping from where his memory's lost to waking up...then having him gradually discover what went on? You can still use your 'darling' chapter, just have the info drip-fed to the reader as the character finds out what went on.

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This is what I was going to suggest, as well. It adds a new level of tension for the reader, because we're left wondering just what he's forgotten, the same as the MC. When he eventually remembers, it'll be more powerful for both the reader and the character.

"Flashback" is not a dirty word.

See, as a reader it would work for me because its happening as its happening, ya know. Wouldn't bother me at all.

scarletpeaches said:

The thing is, the mystery of the situation would be lost. The character would be stumped as to what's going on but the reader would know, hence, no suspense.

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Unless....something happened that he did that might not be a "good" thing. (Ex. he was the one who killed his friend by accident when the gun went off at the wrong moment, or he saw the really bad bad guy, but now can't remember the guy was bad so when he shows up and "befriends" him the reader is screaming NOOOOO)

Or not.

scarletpeaches said:

How about skipping from where his memory's lost to waking up...then having him gradually discover what went on? You can still use your 'darling' chapter, just have the info drip-fed to the reader as the character finds out what went on.

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I just started reading a book that does this exact thing. It does seem this would work better.

The other alternative is to write the book from two people's POV and have the parts where he has amnesia written from the other person's perspective.

As Renee said, it would work, but for me, only if it was a very brief period of time. The problem is that even though you're third limited, the very fact that the reader knows what he does not automatically takes it out of third limited and creates an omniscient narrator. If you can pull that off without losing the reader, great, but it might be tricky. Like Uncle Jim's rule thread though, if it works, it's right.

I've seen this several times in other stories. Doesn't bother me.

Your original plan wouldn't bother me.

But:

How about skipping from where his memory's lost to waking up...then having him gradually discover what went on? You can still use your 'darling' chapter, just have the info drip-fed to the reader as the character finds out what went on.

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I also like this idea.

I'd drip feed it and build up to a crescendo where you do a little bit more than saying the odd line.

You could play with the tension created by the stories of his heroism and him not remembering exactly what happened, the latter punctuated by the reality of his significant injuries and the time-in-coma. Your current path for the reader--of pre-providing the actual details and letting the MC's uncertainty form the tension--can work. Another way is to leave the reader in the dark about what really happened and have the reader be as confused as the MC, but with a gradual return of snippets of memory (which can be actual exerpts of your darling chapter) that brings the MC and reader in on things together. You can even bring back the actual events in the incorrect order to prolong the tension (and mystery), and most important, to give the reader a chance to try to figure it out in advance (a biggie in reader involvement in stories). The former might be better if this is a small part of a larger story and you want to give the reader some background tension or to provide a hurdle in moving on to the rest of the story. If this part of your story is of primary importance, the latter tack might increase reader involvement and interest.

One caution--make sure the injuries you give the MC do not preclude the heroism he does under the influence of those injuries (a little reality is needed here or he will be as superhuman as in the exaggerated stories of his heroism, which could turn the reader off and totally destroy the tension). Also, make sure the healing from those injuries occurs over a reasonable time frame, particularly with burns, broken/cracked bones, and gunshots. Burns take a long time.

What Neuro said. Either way works for me, depends on what you're aiming for. I've seen it done before and it works for me. In third person limited, even if it's in past tense, I assume I'm sitting on the MC's shoulder (or in his head) and going through all this stuff with him. If he does something, he does it, even if he forgets it later. The fact that we remember it can make for an interesting contrast if you play it right.

lucidzfl said:

Its going to come back to him in bits and pieces over the course of the next chapter or so. (Probably 5000 words tops).

He'll definitely remember it. I guess I could just not have the amnesia bit in there at all. I would rather drop that story line and have him flabbergasted that people are that impressed with his actions than get rid of it.

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I've read a similar progression of events, and it worked fine for me.

lucidzfl said:

Its going to come back to him in bits and pieces over the course of the next chapter or so. (Probably 5000 words tops).

He'll definitely remember it. I guess I could just not have the amnesia bit in there at all. I would rather drop that story line and have him flabbergasted that people are that impressed with his actions than get rid of it.

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IMHO, if he's going to get the bits and pieces back in the next 5K words or so, then the amnesia isn't a focal plot point. It's something that will be passe rather quickly, especially if there are not some key elements he remembers over the course of the book that shapes the story and provides much-loved tension.

Maybe it would be a good idea to focus on how his exploits have become so overblown while he was out.

I think it's quite intriguing. It reminds me a little of that MASH episode that was done entirely from a wounded soldier's point of view, though it may not be fully applicable.

As long as it isn't confusing, I would enjoy it.

Sounds like a superhero, not a mere human. Other than that, it sounds intriguing.

It would be difficult but in order to have the character forget it you should also make the reader forget it so when it reappears (I assume it will reappear) the reader will be like "OHHHH YEAHHH".

Just my 2 cents.

Jamesaritchie said:

Sounds like a superhero, not a mere human. Other than that, it sounds intriguing.

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I'm gonna have to go with James on the superhero thing.

My husband had second and third degree burns over 18% of his body back in '91. Recovery required 28 days in burn unit, 9 months off work, 3 months in a specially made compression garment to flatten the scars followed by 2 months of bandage wraps.

And he was, by far, not the worst burn case I saw.

So it might be best to think on the number of gun wounds in combination with the severity of burns.

Not a problem for me, if the whole MS is in chronological order. The heroic chapter happens to Mitch before the forgetful phase begins. I would be accepting the tacit conceit that we're not looking back at the story from the vantage point of the future, when it's all over, but that the story is progressing as we read it, from minute to minute.

Yes, this works for past tense as well as present. Where it wouldn't work for me would be a first person narrative that purports to be told from that future vantage point. In which case the narrator wouldn't remember the heroic stuff and would have to rely entirely on reports and rumors.

Anon76 said:

I'm gonna have to go with James on the superhero thing.

My husband had second and third degree burns over 18% of his body back in '91. Recovery required 28 days in burn unit, 9 months off work, 3 months in a specially made compression garment to flatten the scars followed by 2 months of bandage wraps.

And he was, by far, not the worst burn case I saw.

So it might be best to think on the number of gun wounds in combination with the severity of burns.

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Yeah, I might want to skip the burns at least. Multiple gunshot wounds are bad enough. Also, I'd hope this rescuing community has either advanced medical facilities or magic healers.

My medical beta readers (a tough crowd!) would only let my tougher-than-nails warrior get a deep gash in one arm, which became infected. That was enough to knock him out of action for several weeks.

It would work for me, but I think it would ruin your tension. While your MC is struggling to recapture what he missed, the facts he uncovers would just be repeating what the reader already knows. I think that repetition would be anticlimactic, if not boring.

I think it would let the reader empathize with your MC's fear and confusion if they're just as lost as he is when he asks, "Jeez, what happened to me?"

scarletpeaches said:

It wouldn't sit well with me, unless the story is being told after it's all over and he remembers everything.

If something happens which he forgets, how could he then tell us about it, even in third person?

The thing is, the mystery of the situation would be lost. The character would be stumped as to what's going on but the reader would know, hence, no suspense.

How about skipping from where his memory's lost to waking up...then having him gradually discover what went on? You can still use your 'darling' chapter, just have the info drip-fed to the reader as the character finds out what went on.

Click to expand...

First, I thought third person was told from the WRITER/NARRATOR'S POV. Shouldn't matter if the character remembers or forgets, the MC isn't telling the story, the Writer is.

I thought First Person was told from the character's POV and therefore it would be difficult for him to tell that part then forget it.

Second, I like your idea of him blacking out at the crucial moment, only to wake up later a hero and he doesn't know for why.