Share your tips on how to write descriptions

Wow. That's a lot to think about.

I just describe things.

Anahid21 said:

2) Inventive ways to describe environments, for example through the reflection in the window, a shadow on the wall, silhouettes, etc. Also giving priority to other senses such as touch and scent.

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Emphasis. Smells, touch, and sounds can add an extra dimension to a setting; however, I don't think one should have "priority" over the other.

I agree with the reindeer ferret. If you can close your eyes and put yourself there, then the descriptions will come naturally. That's how it works for me, anyways.

Read a lot, and when you find description that resonates with you sit down and figure out why. What senses does it engage? How does it enhance the mood? How is it paced? etc.

You don't need to explain in great detail what a thing or a person looks like. One or two details should be enough; the reader can fill in the rest.

For example, this is overdoing it:

He was a shade under six feet, and he made himself look taller by gelling his hair so it stood straight up. His eyes were icy blue, and he had a sleek, aquiline nose and perfect white teeth. His tan was dark and deep and probably artificial. His expensive designer shirt was cut slim, to better accentuate his bulging pecs and gym-sculpted abdominals. His Japanese natural-selvage jeans were tight enough to let everyone know he was packing an eight-inch dong. His sneakers were new, spotless Nikes.

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This is probably all you need:

A douchebag with frosted tips and a spray-on tan.

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If you're using third person limited, then description will follow your character's POV. What I mean by that is that description will come as a consequence of your character's perception of his surrounding. Sort of like, to use your general setting:

Let's say your character is Karim. Then you'll have something like:

Karim slid off the camel as it bent down to the ground.

He landed on his feet in the soft sand, and then groaned and grabbed his aching back. Where was he now? He looked around, but could only see a few palms standing around a crevice in the ground. It must be an oasis, he thought. That meant that there was water! At once he felt unspeakably thirsty, and ran toward the crevice despite the pain in his back.

When he got to the crevice, he threw himself in the sand, at its edge, and looked down. Below him a wonderful clear pool flickered in the sun and beckoned him to come, like a djinn of the fables, the ones that seduced men to their deaths.

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Something like that. As you can see, it all comes out of Karim's perception of his surroundings. It is (even though this passage was written on a spur, and isn't very good therefore) from his point of view. You as a writer do not pause Karim to be able to tell the reader what it looks like.

I hope that's clear.

I don't bother to describe anything unless it's something my POV character would notice. For whatever reason -- because it's unusual, new, surprising, because she admires it, because it feels familiar and that comforts her just now, etc.

Description always feels wrong to me unless the POV character has a damn good reason for paying attention to it.

Libbie said:

I don't bother to describe anything unless it's something my POV character would notice. For whatever reason -- because it's unusual, new, surprising, because she admires it, because it feels familiar and that comforts her just now, etc.

Description always feels wrong to me unless the POV character has a damn good reason for paying attention to it.

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True. For instance, I wouldn't describe the smell of a room unless it was a smell that would be particularly noticeable to the POV character, like the smell of something burning, or unless it had a significance to the story, like a murder scene smelling heavily of cleaning chemicals.

I use the words 'like' and 'as though / as if' a lot when writing descriptions.

'The floor was slippery under John's feet - it was like walking across an ice-skating rink.'

What I used to do, and what I try to do avoid now, is writing description as an inventory: 'John entered the room. There were two Rothko paintings on adjacent walls. The lightbulb was flickering. There was a smell of disinfectant. There was a cold draft. The floor looked slippery. There was a table in the middle with a stack of Playboy magazines and a box of tissues. John never thought going for a sperm count would be so clinical. Etc, etc.'

DannySherbet said:

True. For instance, I wouldn't describe the smell of a room unless it was a smell that would be particularly noticeable to the POV character, like the smell of something burning, or unless it had a significance to the story, like a murder scene smelling heavily of cleaning chemicals.

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If you're trying to grab the most evocative feature of a certain place, a smell might be it. Like the smell of a locker room or a hospital or a high-school cafeteria. If the smell isn't interesting or specific, leave it out.

Of course, obviously, if the smell is plot-related, like the solvents at the murder scene, or the lingering smell of another character's perfume, include it.

I use the words 'like' and 'as though / as if' a lot when writing descriptions.

'The floor was slippery under John's feet - it was like walking across an ice-skating rink.'

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You want to try not to overuse these similes. And they should never be obvious. When you use them, try to make them funny. Whatever you compare the thing to should be surprising and helpful. If it's not, cut it.

What I used to do, and what I try to do avoid now, is writing description as an inventory: 'John entered the room. There were two Rothko paintings on adjacent walls. The lightbulb was flickering. There was a smell of disinfectant. There was a cold draft. The floor looked slippery. There was a table in the middle with a table. Etc, etc.'

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Avoid details that are unnecessary. If nobody is going to fall down, it doesn't matter if the floor is slippery. It is unnecessary and undesirable to turn every location into a fully dressed set. If it's a hotel room with two double beds, or another character's spacious corner office with panoramic views and a heavy oak desk, that's potentially all you need to say.

It's perfectly acceptable to first mention a table when somebody leans against it, or to first mention the chair when someone sits in it. There is no need to previously establish such an object; even if three scenes have occurred in the room, if somebody casually sets a glass on the table, nobody will wonder where the table came from. The reader understands it's always been there.

The other details you mention are important only if they provide necessary information. If the perspective character is entering the apartment of another character for the first time, the fact that the place is unusually messy or unusually neat might seem to be pertinent information.

If a flickering lightbulb is throwing long shadows against a cinder-block wall, that's probably all the setting you need. If an room is lined with crowded bookshelves and there is a heavy, well-used leather chair by the window, that's all the setting you need. If an apartment is spare, clean space with angular modern furniture and lots of natural light, that sets the scene. Try to describe every setting in ten words, and see if you lose anything you end up missing.

"You see, but you do not observe."

-- Sherlock Holmes

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Pay attention to the world around you. The rest follows.

Cool advice, thanks.

Don't be over-analytical. Don't describe stuff that won't matter to the reader. Do describe stuff that will.

Ask yourself questions, pretending that you are the reader, and not the writer: Do I need to know the color of the character's eyes? Or height? Or weight? Or car?

If the answer is No, proceed accordingly.

caw

Libbie said:

I don't bother to describe anything unless it's something my POV character would notice. For whatever reason -- because it's unusual, new, surprising, because she admires it, because it feels familiar and that comforts her just now, etc.

Description always feels wrong to me unless the POV character has a damn good reason for paying attention to it.

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Oh thank god. I thought I was lacking in the description areas because I only included what I thought was absolutely necessary. I guess I formed the opinion that lots of description sells books, because you see so much of it around - like knowing the names of designer clothes, the specific words for a type of house style, etc. when all you really need is a few simple words and perhaps the qualifier "it looked expensive" ??

I never liked too much description in my reading, but I was beginning to get worried my (relative) lack of it would mean a harder sell. But now you've put into words what I couldn't have done - "Description always feels wrong to me unless the POV character has a damn good reason for paying attention to it."

*stops slobbering*

Be aware that descriptions are never innocent.

Signs can be iconic (your photo in your facebook profile signifying you), indexical (smoke signifying fire) and metaphorical (roses signifying love, lilies signifying death). But it's not either/or. It can be all of the above. (And this is often, when it becomes literature with a capital L).

Some readers are going to try reading your signs on all these potentially available levels anyway, whether you want them to or not.

Don't disappoint them too often. Make your signs do at least double (if possible triple) duty.

There's great beauty in efficiency.

Occasionally use the dialogue for description. Rather than describing how narrow a tunnel is, I have a character make a remark about it.

Don't try to present an exact picture of the place to try to control how the reader sees it. In a former critique group, one of the writers spent a great deal of time describing every single, excruciating detail like the angle of a character's arm as he picked up a piece of paper.

Be specific (this is from James Rollins at Thrillerfest a few years ago) i.e., if you mention a dog, don't just call it a dog--call it a Poole or a Golden Retriever.

Use the viewpoint of the scene to bring out personality in the description.

These are all great.

I try not to describe TOO much, but when I do, I always remember something that an English teacher I had years ago would try to get us to do. And I find I'm drawn to spare bits of detail that appeal to any or multiple senses....

So for an (admittedly bad and quickly done) example:
For a walk in the forest, you might mention the murmuring of the birch trees (hearing) or the crunch of the snow underfoot (feeling). The strange honks of Canadian geese overhead (more hearing), the smell of the winter air turning snot to icycles (scent and feel), or the taste of the hot cocoa you've just drunk that remains in your mouth a little while afterwards (taste).

Anahid21 said:

I've been looking out for ideas on how professional writers describe setting and characters in their stories. Here is a set of tips and tricks I've come up with so far. Please let me know what you think:

1)Connect description with something in the plot or about a character.
example: -He didn't look like someone who would be Jane's type, because (description)
or: -The room gave her the shivers because (description)


2) Inventive ways to describe environments, for example through the reflection in the window, a shadow on the wall, silhouettes, etc. Also giving priority to other senses such as touch and scent.

3) Compare and contrast, although this should be used sparingly and inventively.
example: His long and dirty beard reminded John of the roots of an old tree.

4)Description through the interaction of a character with his/her environment (you can kill two birds with one stone.)
example: -He couldn't reach the top of the dusty shelf because of his short legs.
or: -The monster's dark skin blended against the grimy walls of the cave.

If anyone has any more ideas to add please do. I'm looking in particular for ways to make descriptions more alive so they would transport the readers into the story instead of giving news reports.

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I think you've sort of hit the ones I like. Especially 4 when possible.

I like the idea of throwing a character through a room, rather than having them enter it casually

Good description will tell us as much about the POV character as it does about the thing described:

-- What does she notice or fail to notice?
-- Why?
-- How does it make her feel?
-- How does she react?
-- What kind of comparisons does she make, if any?

For example:

Character A: The boy held red balloons.
Character B: The boy held balloons red and glossy as candy apples.
Character C: The balloons hovered over the boy like blood-swollen bladders too close to popping.
Character D: Too damn many balloon-hauling brats ran around, getting in everyone's way.

Very different characters there.

motormind said:

Don't use descriptions, unless they influence or describe the POV character's emotional state. Even a gun in someone's hand doesn't deserve mention, if it doesn't scare or at least surprise the main character.

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In many instances I think the gun deserves mention BECAUSE it doesn't scare or surprise the main character. That's an interesting insight into the character we might otherwise miss. What I mean is, the lack of emotion is as interesting as the emotion.

I also think description is a matter of taste and style, not an absolute. You don't *have* to leave out basic descriptions of rooms or scene-setting just because other authors do. Of course it depends on many things in context, as everything else in writing. I lean toward your style most often. But I've enjoyed books with somewhat heavy scene-setting.

The Lonely One said:

I also think description is a matter of taste and style, not an absolute. You don't *have* to leave out basic descriptions of rooms or scene-setting just because other authors do. Of course it depends on many things in context, as everything else in writing. I lean toward your style most often. But I've enjoyed books with somewhat heavy scene-setting.

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This.

I've enjoyed books with much description too. It's like everything else about human beings, tastes are different. Trying to second guess the reader will risks reducing a text to bland stage direction.

All of my action takes place in a void where all the characters are grey blobs.

It makes description really easy.

Most of the time.

What's hard is it's first person, and the POV character doesn't know any descriptor other than "blobby."



Well, sometimes it says "blobular" and "blobtastic."

kuwisdelu said:

All of my action takes place in a void where all the characters are grey blobs.

It makes description really easy.

Most of the time.

What's hard is it's first person, and the POV character doesn't know any descriptor other than "blobby."



Well, sometimes it says "blobular" and "blobtastic."

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The blob sensually extended his blobby blob to the blobby section of his partners bloblette. As his other blob clumsily blobbed at her two upper blobs. They smiled blobby smiles at each other.

...

Blob.

lucidzfl said:

The blob sensually extended his blobby blob to the blobby section of his partners bloblette. As his other blob clumsily blobbed at her two upper blobs. They smiled blobby smiles at each other.

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Pervert!