Dot Dot Dot (ellipses vs. em-dashes)

Rhys Cordelle · Nov 10, 2009

I was just wondering what's the best way to illustrate that your character is hesitating in their dialogue? I have a tendency to write it like this:

"I don't... I don't know what you want me to say", but I find if that is used too often it can be quite annoying.

I thought about cutting a sentence off with a -, such as "I don't- I don't know what you want me to say." Or would it be best to write:

"I don't", Jane paused, searching for the best response. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Your thoughts?

Mara · Nov 10, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
I was just wondering what's the best way to illustrate that your character is hesitating in their dialogue? I have a tendency to write it like this:

"I don't... I don't know what you want me to say", but I find if that is used too often it can be quite annoying.

I thought about cutting a sentence off with a -, such as "I don't- I don't know what you want me to say." Or would it be best to write:

"I don't", Jane paused, searching for the best response. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Your thoughts?

As a reader, I prefer seeing the ellipses. The hyphen implies interruption. The last example adds a lot of unnecessary words.

But I don't know what the "right" answer is, industry-wise.

Silver King · Nov 10, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
"I don't", Jane paused, searching for the best response. "I don't know what you want me to say."

You can use this sentence, but you'd have to show the "pause" by placing a period after "I don't." (Remember to use most punctuation within quotes, not outside of them.)

So you'd simply write:

"I don't." Jane paused, searching for the best response. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Pretty good, eh? But don't thank me; it's exactly what you wrote originally, only with a simple period added in place of a comma.

Libbie · Nov 10, 2009

Personally, I like the em dash option ( -- ). To me, an ellipsis implies that text has been cut out and abridged.

Either way works, though. Go with whatever looks best to you.

jennontheisland · Nov 10, 2009

Ha. There you go. One vote for each.

I'm gonna go with "It depends"

(sorry, couldn't help it)

Brutal Mustang · Nov 10, 2009

Libbie said:
Personally, I like the em dash option ( -- ). To me, an ellipsis implies that text has been cut out and abridged.

Either way works, though. Go with whatever looks best to you.

I've read in a few places that em dashes are the "new semicolon". Or for a sudden interruption in a character's speech. But not for a pause, or voice trailing off.

Khimera9 · Nov 10, 2009

the - is best for an interupption or stuttering while ... is best preferred (by me) to be used for a longer pause after a completed sentence.

kaitie · Nov 11, 2009

Libbie said:
Personally, I like the em dash option ( -- ). To me, an ellipsis implies that text has been cut out and abridged.

Either way works, though. Go with whatever looks best to you.

Haha, I'm the opposite. The dash feels abridged and I only use it if someone is being abruptly cut off. Otherwise I use ellipsis. The really funny thing is that I would also not use the period after the "I don't" and use a comma there as well, assuming that the break in the sentence by "Jane paused" is enough of a natural pause to show it.

So yeah, have I officially messed everything up now lol? Grammar person! Where's a grammar person!

Crap, and I'm an English teacher!

dpaterso · Nov 11, 2009

I'd stick with the ellipsis (...) for hesitation/pause and em-dash (2 hyphens, "--") for interrupted dialogue.

Everything in moderation. Use them too often and your characters might come across as uncertain dimwits who don't know anything.

-Derek

Rhys Cordelle · Nov 11, 2009

I don't think I've ever seen an em dash in a novel before.

dpaterso · Nov 11, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
I don't think I've ever seen an em dash in a novel before.

In your manuscript, an em-dash should be 2 hyphens -- your publisher will change this to a real em-dash character — which will appear in the printed book.

List the threads in Basic Writing Questions forum -- select Search this Forum -- type in keyword em-dash and select the Go button to find previous threads on this subject.

-Derek

Julie Worth · Nov 11, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
"I don't... I don't know what you want me to say", but I find if that is used too often it can be quite annoying.

The overuse of ellipses is one mark of the amateur, so avoid it whenever possible. Esp. as adding a bit of action can be far more effective:

"I don't," she began, glancing at the bloody knife, "I don't know what you want me to say."

Mr Flibble · Nov 11, 2009

Too many ellipses makes you character sound like a breathy Barbara Cartland virgin

An em dash is for interruption, sure, even if your character interrupts himself with his own words.

'I don't -- I don't know' implies a kind of stammer

'I don't...I don't know' implies trailing off then coming back to the present.

Use whichever one fits. Of course your publishers house style will determine it ultimately.

Jamesaritchie · Nov 11, 2009

Technically, you should never use an ellipses in this fashion. In practice, however, I think it works best, and I see a lot of pro writers who use it. I do, simply because I think it actually works better, technicalities be hanged.

Kisatchie · Nov 11, 2009

dpaterso said:
I'd stick with the ellipsis (...) for hesitation/pause and em-dash (2 hyphens, "--") for interrupted dialogue.

I feel the same way.

Lady Ice · Nov 11, 2009

Generally '...' indicates a pause because the speaker has drifted off. It is the end of their sentence, but shouldn't be:

'I don't...I don't know what you want me to say'

'--' indicates an interruption, by someone or something else:

'I don't--' There was a bang. 'I don't know what you want me to say'

The person wanted to finish their sentence but was interrupted by something. They knew what they wanted to say.

You could mix up the bit where she trails off:
'I don't know...'
'What?'
'I don't know what you want me to say'

Or you could have:
'I don't know, I don't know what you want me to say.'

RJK · Nov 11, 2009

Comma = short pause. I don't, I don't know what you want me to say.
Ellipse = pause for thought. I don't... I don't know what you want me to say.
Your example with the explanation works too.
To make sure you don't overdo the ellipses, break them up with the "Jane paused, searching for the best response." type phrases and the comma.

maestrowork · Nov 11, 2009

Just be consistent.

Technically speaking, ellipses are for trailing off or omission. But many writers use them for hesitation.

Em-dashes are for interruption. Personally I favor using them for hesitation, because it's basically self-interruptions.

Matera the Mad · Nov 11, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
I don't think I've ever seen an em dash in a novel before.

Must be reading the wrong ones, or just not noticing it because it worked so smoothly.

poetinahat · Nov 11, 2009

Ellipses are also good for indicating aposiopesis (hurrah for family word games!), though this reference indicates em-dashes are also appropriate.

I interpret em-dashes as indicating a sharp break-off, where ellipses indicate a softer break. Maybe that's only because of how they look.

Nya RAyne · Nov 14, 2009

Rhys Cordelle said:
I was just wondering what's the best way to illustrate that your character is hesitating in their dialogue? I have a tendency to write it like this:

"I don't... I don't know what you want me to say", but I find if that is used too often it can be quite annoying.

I thought about cutting a sentence off with a -, such as "I don't- I don't know what you want me to say." Or would it be best to write:

"I don't", Jane paused, searching for the best response. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Your thoughts?

I've used both of them, but prefer the "..." to the "-" unless someone is being interrupted.

Dot Dot Dot (ellipses vs. em-dashes)

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