help with word (Inwardly)

bkwriter · Oct 29, 2009

I'm thinking this is wrong. Inwardly?
could it be, she sighed within?
I don't want Rachel to hear the sigh.
Have any suggentions, anyone?
thanks

Lisa answered the phone, "Hello?" she sighed inwardly when Rachel’s voice came through.

cptwentworth · Oct 29, 2009

Inwardly makes sense, but do you need to use it? It sound like a Tom Swifty to me. I know I'm the worst for adding unnecessary adverbs, though. I always have to go back and edit them out.

Ellefire · Oct 29, 2009

How about:

Lisa answered the phone, she swallowed a sigh when she realised it was Rachel.

or 'resisted the urge to sigh'?

Matera the Mad · Oct 29, 2009

It's a good word not to use. Kinda worn out, could collapse and take the whole paragraph with it.

girlyswot · Oct 30, 2009

How about: she sighed to herself

bkwriter · Oct 30, 2009

thanks girly and eely. both great. I like "she sighed to herself." that's what I was trying to get at

blacbird · Oct 30, 2009

Matera the Mad said:
It's a good word not to use.

I was about to say the same thing. The usual message I take when I find myself uncertain about a particular word or construction is: Start over and make a better sentence.

caw

help with word (Inwardly)

bkwriter

cptwentworth

Did you hear that?!?

Ellefire

Citizen Of Planet Random

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

girlyswot

bkwriter

blacbird