Is this sentence correct?

I'd remove the "it" before "passed"

-Derek

I've wanted to send this email for awhile now but the more time passed, the harder it became to find the right words.

Just my two erasers worth.

Or replace the 'it' before 'passed' with 'that.'

(and you don't want to compact 'a while' to one word, because 'awhile' means a short or brief period of time)

And you don't really need the comma where it is. You could move it to before 'but.'

But one way or another, that first 'it' has got to go.

Or you could reword it like this:

"I've been wanting to send this email for a while now, but the more time that's passed the harder it's become to find the right words."

Or you could just not send the email and call it a day.

LOL Sorry, didn't mean to put your MC in peril. heheh

Firstly, the "it" in "the more time it passed" is unnecessary.

Secondly, I think you have a problem with the tense.

"I've been wanting to send this email for a while now" - present perfect continuous tense
"but the more time it passed, the harder it became to find the right words." - simple past

A sentence needs to maintain the same basic tense throughout (future/past/present). You can switch from future perfect to simple future, present perfect to simple present and so on, but switching from present to past is usually a no-no.

I would suggest
"I'd been wanting to send that email for a while, but the more time passed, the harder it became to find the right words." (past perfect continuous -> simple past)

OR

"I've been wanting to send this email for a while, but the more time passes, the harder it becomes to find the right words" (present perfect continuous -> simple present)

NewKidOldKid said:

Seems like something's wrong, but can't figure out what.

"I've been wanting to send this email for a while now but the more time it passed, the harder it became to find the right words."

Click to expand...

"I've been wanting to send this email for a while now, but the more time passed, the harder it became to find the right words."

Adding a comma and removing the "it" would help.