What's normal in this world anyway???

[yellow5]

I sent out 11 agent queries last week - 8 by email, 3 were snailed. I'm busy...I have kids and a life, but it's always, always in the back of my mind...has an answer come yet? I thought sending the queries would be freeing, I could get on to writing other things, focus on more than my pb... ha ha ha! I had to force myself to take my daughter to preschool on time today instead of stopping to check email! How does everyone handle the stress? Am I the only one who feels like this? My husband said, "well, it's all part of the path you've chosen," which is true, I just don't want to end up on anxiety meds! ;)

So, I got my first rejection today on this story, which by the way, I think is a marvelous story. The first time I ever got rejected (1 time on 1 story about a year ago), I felt like "I'm a real writer, I've been rejected!" This time I feel irritated! Now I have this quivery feeling in the pit of my stomach and blah... I'm just looking for some tips on handling the process of querying and waiting. Am I feeling normal? Talking about this to non-writers is not the same. You all are so good to commiserate with! Thanks!!

[Kitty Pryde]

Hey yellow!
AW has an entire subforum devoted to rejection and dejection--if you cruise over to some of the threads in there, or make your own, you are likely to find kindred spirits and commiserating souls!

I don't envy you, as I will soon be in your position. Good luck!

[MsJudy]

There are really only two choices:

1) Obsess about it, drive yourself crazy, fall apart and lose all the joy of writing.

2) Find a way to get over it, focus on writing, get something else going, always keep your eye on the next step.

[Stijn Hommes]

I got on by simply noting the facts. It would take too long to wait. I checked the response times. Once you get an idea of what RTs you can expect, you can put the anxiety behind you until the time you can reasonably expect responses.

[Hedgetrimmer]

I deal with the waiting by working on several different projects simultaneously. For example, I'm currently waiting to hear from agents regarding an MG novel, yet earlier this week I received a contract from a Canadian magazine for one of my adult nature essays. Rather than obsessing over whether my novel is out there sinking or swimming, I'm focusing my attention on completing my collection and perhaps placing other pieces in the meantime. Even if the novel gets rejected, I already have my foot inside another door.

[stormie]

We all go through this. You turn on the computer just to check emails. You throw a load of laundry in the machine and rush back to your computer. Heck, there was a time--and I still do occasionally--grab the mail from the mail carrier. We've become friends.

As others have said, write other stuff. Write a poem (I'm not a poet yet do this as a therapeutic thing), write an essay, blog, write a horror story.... While you're waiting to pick up the kids, write on a notepad. Write in your mind.

Just write. :)

[samcollie]

Another thought is to work out - go running, walking, take a class at a gym, bike - you'll burn off steam and feel better. You also may find it's a great way to clear your mind and get new ideas. Lots of great ideas come to me away from my desk.

Good luck!

[MsJudy]

You could try drinking. It worked for Hemingway, didn't it?

[Hedgetrimmer]

You could try drinking. It worked for Hemingway, didn't it? Nah. I think it was the shotgun in the mouth that took his mind off writing.

[Terie]

You could try writing a 150,000-word novel over two years (including about a 66% rewrite from scratch) and getting so sick of it that by the time you send it off, you just HOPE for rejection. But I wouldn't recommend it. Especially not if you're writing PBs. :D

Seriously, the best thing you can do, as others have said, is to focus your mind on a new project. And get used to it, because, yeah, most of us feel the way you describe when we submit our stuff. Most of the time, anyway. Except for those times we're so sick of it we're glad to see the backside of it.

[MsJudy]

Nah. I think it was the shotgun in the mouth that took his mind off writing.

Yeah, that would do it.

[Hedgetrimmer]

You bet. Lots have been written over the years as to whether writing drives some people to the brink of suicide (or even other self-destructive behavior), or if such tendencies already exist in a brain driven to create something out of nothing. I haven't yet decided either way, although the act of writing itself seems to be some form of neurosis. After all, we sit around putting on paper all the voices in our head.

[MsJudy]

I think most people are a lot closer to the edge of crazy than we like to admit.

[emandem]

Prayer. Give it up to a higher power. Easier said than done.

[yellow5]

LOL - I guess you can only try the gun/mouth thing once, eh? Not there yet!! I've started back to orking on a previous project (although not a pb) and will divert my attention there ... when I'm not checking my email. I do think you have to be a certain kind of crazy to be a writer...what, with all the voices, plots and ideas stomping around in your head all the time!