Sentence checker

miles · Oct 20, 2009

I try to write in a conversational style, but I'm still wondering about this sentence:

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes, had researched them while writing his thesis.

Is it fine the way it is, or would one of the below be better?

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes. He'd researched them while writing his thesis.

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes--he'd researched them while writing his thesis.

Thanks!

EDIT: sorry about the formatting.

Bufty · Oct 20, 2009

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miles said:
I try to write in a conversational style, but I'm still wondering about this sentence:

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes, had researched them while writing his thesis. It's a run-on sentence.

Is it fine the way it is, or would one of the below be better?

Leaving your words untouched, either of the undernoted works for me but I'd use a semicolon in the last sentence instead of the dash.

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes. He'd researched them while writing his thesis.

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes--he'd researched them while writing his thesis.

Thanks!

EDIT: sorry about the formatting.

pengwinz · Oct 20, 2009

miles said:
I try to write in a conversational style, but I'm still wondering about this sentence:

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes, had researched them while writing his thesis.

Is it fine the way it is, or would one of the below be better?

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes. He'd researched them while writing his thesis.

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes--he'd researched them while writing his thesis.

Thanks!

EDIT: sorry about the formatting.

Agree with Bufty. If writing non-fiction or this is part of a fiction piece description in which the style is more formal, then either two sentences should be employed, a semicolon or:
He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes, as he'd researched them while writing his thesis
(or some other method to link the thoughts).
On the other hand, in fiction, the first example you provide may be more consistent with the style and/or your narrators' "voice".

PeterL · Oct 20, 2009

miles said:
I try to write in a conversational style, but I'm still wondering about this sentence:

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes, had researched them while writing his thesis.

I think that this is not wrong, but the distance between the subject and the verb is too long.

Is it fine the way it is, or would one of the below be better?

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes. He'd researched them while writing his thesis.

This is fine.

He knew a thing or two about correctional institutes--he'd researched them while writing his thesis.

I don't like dashes to separate independent clauses, and I'm not sure that is a correct use.

You might consider starting the second clause with "because" or "as".

miles · Oct 20, 2009

thanks everyone

Dawnstorm · Oct 20, 2009

All the sentences are fine with me. Depends on the voice.

Sentence checker

miles

agent at The Knight Agency

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

pengwinz

Roadtripper

PeterL

miles

agent at The Knight Agency

Dawnstorm

punny user title, here