I have rewritten the opening of my YA fantasy after getting some mixed opinions about it and now I have two quite wildly different openings, though they both arrive at the same point eventually. If possible, I'd love to get some quick opinions from readers about whether (a) one version makes them more attached to the MC, (b) one version draws them in more, or (c) they both suck massively.
The big event that looms on the horizon and takes up most of the book is the MC finding herself on "the other side" of the world, the place where all the mythical creatures of our long lost legends reside. So if you read something to that effect on the back of the book and then flipped open the first few pages, I'd like to know if either of my two versions would make you want to keep reading or would you scoff and mutter to yourself about false advertising as you wedged the book back onto the shelf at Barnes and Noble?
An exercise in comparative betaing, if you will. Please help!
The big event that looms on the horizon and takes up most of the book is the MC finding herself on "the other side" of the world, the place where all the mythical creatures of our long lost legends reside. So if you read something to that effect on the back of the book and then flipped open the first few pages, I'd like to know if either of my two versions would make you want to keep reading or would you scoff and mutter to yourself about false advertising as you wedged the book back onto the shelf at Barnes and Noble?
An exercise in comparative betaing, if you will. Please help!