Beta needed for ADULT horror/fantasy

JoshEllingson · Oct 8, 2009

I have recently finished my first novel (52,494 words) and would like someone to critique it.

I am looking for someone who will take my work seriously, who will give me their honest opinion, and will ask me if they don't quite understand something i have written. They must also not be easily offended by things they read. (The novel includes graphic violence, extremely adult language, and a very graphic sex scene.)

I also might be in the market for a co-writer for the sequel, as well as for a fantasy novel that I am writing notes for.

Noah Body · Oct 9, 2009

Have you posted any pages in SYW?

nitaworm · Oct 9, 2009

Definately post parts in the share your work. I did it and got some great feedback.

JoshEllingson · Oct 9, 2009

I have not, as yet, posted anything from my book, as there is a lot of adult language and i am still a but unsure as to how that is received on this forum.

Noah Body · Oct 9, 2009

If you do that, the only thing that will happen is this:

- People will tell you what they think;

- You will, probably sooner rather than later, find someone willing to beta your work who might be able to help.

Comes with the whole risk/reward thang, you know. Just be sure to forewarn for MVASP (Massive Violence and Actual Sexual Penetration) and all should be well.

Ruth2 · Oct 9, 2009

If you go to the SYW (Share Your Work) forum, you will see the Erotica SYW at the bottom. To enter, you need to contact one of the admins there for the password, which they will give after they ascertain you're over 21. Enter the password, go to the forum and post a chapter. The only taboos there (I think) are children, bestiality and nonconsensual sex. Legal stuff in other words... Other than that, you're good to go.

JoshEllingson · Oct 10, 2009

I posted the prologue to by book, and have had 8 people look at it, but no comments. I understand that if i review others works, i have a better chance at someone reviewing mine, but i do not really know how to review other people's works. Any suggestions?

Maryn · Oct 10, 2009

Josh, I bet you do too know how to critique, you've just never done it and therefore doubt yourself.

Find something in a genre you read at SYW and read it attentively. You will very probably see things which you really like (great turn of phrase or this made me laugh) as well as things which don't work for you (I see why this is supposed to be scary, but we know you won't kill your main character this early), confuse you (wait, I thought he got along with his ex), seem to be mistakes (earlier she was blonde), and such. You'll see great description, read some good twist endings or page-turner chapter closes, be able to hear a character whose dialogue is well-done, and all that sort of thing. Note them and OMG, you're critiquing!

Doing critiques does indeed get you critiques. Making friendly acquaintances here at AW also helps; we all want to do what we can for people we like or admire. Adding a signature containing a link to the work to be critiqued, plus a sentence on what it's about or a teaser meant to intrigue potential readers, can also prove useful.

Maryn, still sweaty from working out

Parametric · Oct 10, 2009

JoshEllingson said:
I posted the prologue to by book, and have had 8 people look at it, but no comments. I understand that if i review others works, i have a better chance at someone reviewing mine, but i do not really know how to review other people's works. Any suggestions?

Josh, at a guess, the reason why you're not getting comments is because the piece is so long. You might want to look over the sticky thread "Some advice for newbies ..." on the Main SYW board:

23. Shorter works are more likely to get looked at than longer posts (2,500 words is about the maximum for getting comments, 1000 will get you more comments.)

At over 7000 words, your prologue is dauntingly long. Try posting the first 1000 words and see if anyone bites.

katiemac · Oct 10, 2009

I was just about to post exactly what Parametric did, right down to quoting Veinglory's advice for newbies.

She's right on. A shorter excerpt will get you more replies.

JoshEllingson · Oct 10, 2009

I will shorten the excerpt. Or would it be better to just post a shorter part of the book?

BTW, thank you for the helpful advice. I will do what I can, but I am not promising my reviews will be any good.

Matera the Mad · Oct 10, 2009

Good, shmood. Half the time an ordinary reader's first impression is the most valuable feedback.

About that prologue -- 7000 words is awfully long for a prologue, enough for two chapters...and prologues have enough counts against them already.

JoshEllingson · Oct 10, 2009

I agree, but it was the only logical place for me to put what i needed to say. My average chapter is only 550 words. But the prologue was needed to set up the story for the rest of the book, it would work as a short story, but only after publication of the rest of the book.

Matera the Mad · Oct 10, 2009

Maybe instead of a poorlog you could call it Part One and break it up into short chapters?

JoshEllingson · Oct 10, 2009

Not a bad idea. I will have to re-edit all the chapter numbers though, for continuity...

Thank you, i should have that done before I get a beta.

JoshEllingson · Oct 11, 2009

so, I was re-editng the former prologue of my book, and the only logical places for chapter breaks give me chapters of an average of 2-4 paragraphs, up until a ceratain point, then they are able to match the average chapter length of the rest of the book. Any suggestions?

Matera the Mad · Oct 11, 2009

Try to combine those that are related. Time, place, characters -- whatever ties them together. Not all scene breaks have to be chapter breaks.

JoshEllingson · Oct 12, 2009

That is where I run into problems. I only follow three characters in the prologue.

Matera the Mad · Oct 12, 2009

1-2-3 . . . 1-2-3?

Beta needed for ADULT horror/fantasy

JoshEllingson

Noah Body

Entertainment Ronin

nitaworm

AW Addict

JoshEllingson

Noah Body

Entertainment Ronin

Ruth2

Tam, na Koncu Drevoreda

JoshEllingson

Maryn

I Tried

Parametric

katiemac

Five by Five

JoshEllingson

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

JoshEllingson

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

JoshEllingson

JoshEllingson

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

JoshEllingson

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint