1st 4 pages - By Fire - War

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TheRuleofThirds

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Thought I'd try another angle for the intro. I was hoping to come up with something outside of NYC, but it's just too perfect a setting for Mike to become a bum and a nobody for the first act. Sorry if the spacing/tabbing's a little off below.

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   FADE IN:

			   EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - 1948 - NIGHT

			 Typical night. Cars line the streets, couples the sidewalks.

			   EXT. NEW YORK ALLEY - NIGHT

			 Lonely men hide in the shadows, with fears that light will
			   expose their evil deeds.

			   EXT. ST. MICHAEL'S CATHEDRAL - NIGHT

			 MIKE HARRISON, late 20s, wearing semi-tattered clothes,
			 stands outside the church as he waits for something. He
			   stares at the cross on top of the steeple.

			 FATHER JONES, mid 60s, is a gentle, elderly man. He's
			 graceful in his movements and walks with confidence. He
			   steps out and passes by Mike.

								 MIKE
						 Is it sinful to kill?

			   Father Jones stops and turns around.

								 FATHER JONES
						 What's that?

								 MIKE
						 Is killing sinful?

								 FATHER JONES
						 Depends on the cause.

								 MIKE
						 The cause?

								 FATHER JONES
						 Killing in a war isn't sinful if
						 the war itself isn't sinful.

								 MIKE
						 So all wars aren't sinful?

								 FATHER JONES
						 No, not exactly.

								 MIKE
						 Try asking the victims! Especially
						 the children! 

								 FATHER JONES
						 That's the price.

								 MIKE
						 The price? What kind of price
						 could be worth that?

								 FATHER JONES
						 The price of defense. Defense
						 against losing our identity and
						 being forced to take on a new one. 

								 MIKE
						 Easy for you to say.

								 FATHER JONES
						 You seem to be in rough shape, son. 
						 Let's go to the shelter. We can
						 talk on the way there.

								 MIKE
						 No thanks, I've got a ride.

			 Mike points to his taxi parked in front of the church.

								 MIKE
						 Could I take you, instead?

								 FATHER JONES
						 I was on my way home, actually, but
						 I accept your offer. 

			   Mike and Father Jones get in the taxi and drive off.

			   INT. TAXI CAB - NIGHT

								 FATHER JONES
						 Take me to the corner of Fifth and
						 Vine. 

								 MIKE
						 All right.

								 FATHER JONES
						 You stand there a lot, don't you?

								 MIKE
						 Some.

								 FATHER JONES
						 You never come in, though.

								 MIKE
						 No reason to.

								 FATHER JONES
						 So you wait for your answers to
						 walk out, do you?

			   Mike ignores the comment.

								 MIKE
						 Back to war. You say war isn't
						 sinful. 

								 FATHER JONES
						 Not all wars.

								 MIKE
						 Right. So which wars have been
						 sinful and which haven't?

								 FATHER JONES
						 World War II wasn't sinful.

								 MIKE
						 Why not?

								 FATHER JONES
						 It was a fight between good and
						 evil. Sin and righteousness.

								 MIKE
						 Doesn't every soldier in a war
						 think he's fighting on the side of
						 righteousness, though?

								 FATHER JONES
						 Yes, I suppose so.

								 MIKE
						 So who's to say that a kraut's
						 wrong in fighting so Germany can
						 rule the world? What standard do
						 you use to tell him he's wrong?

								 FATHER JONES
						 The Word of God.

								 MIKE
						 I've been over there and...they
						 don't really go for that. 

			   EXT. JONES'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

			 The cab stops. Father Jones gets out and goes to Mike's
			   window.

								 FATHER JONES
						 How much do I owe?

								 MIKE
						 It's on me.

								 FATHER JONES
						 Thank you! I think. 

								 MIKE
						 My way of tithing.

								 FATHER JONES
						 God bless you.

								 MIKE
						 Good night.

			   Father Jones walks in his apartment.  

			 Mike pulls a flashlight out of his glove compartment and uses
			 it to look at his watch. He turns the roof light off and
			   drives off.
 
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TheRuleofThirds

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Joe, you can delete this. I thought I posted it on the Critique board. (I took the liberty of posting it there after I realized me mistake)
 

WritingFool

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Sounds alittle to corny. Without knowing the story's concept, it reads like whats the norm of today's vigilante movie. You try to show the uneasiness of a man who's trying to justify killing another. Lacks a spark, somewhere you just cant put your finger on. Granted you havent seen an opening done like that, but it sounds too flat.
But if you want your movie along the lines of the new punisher movie, which was a big let down, hey youre on your way.
It just needs something. Perhaps you tell us where youre heading and some of the nice people here can help you get there.
Good luck, keep trying. Its gunna hit you like bird pooh, as you walk along.
 
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