Blurbs or Queries: How far into the novel do you write about in one of these?

Try not to be so focused on the technical parts of the story, like the climax. Instead, focus on the main conflict, and highlight how that conflict has a full arc within the story.

In Share Your Work, I always advise people to answer these questions within the query:

1. What does your character want?
2. What is s/he have to do to get it?
3. What is going to happen if s/he fails to get what she wants? (The stakes)

This way, you're not heavy-handed and weighing your query down so much with "this is what happens in the beginning, then this happens, then there's the climax!" Hopefully you'll have something more fluid that, while doesn't give away the end, we can tell when reading your query that you have a full arc.

If this isn't making sense, pop in the Query Letter section of Share Your Work (password vista) to read some examples of critiqued letters or throw yours up for consideration. There are also a ton of helpful stickies, too.

KC36 said:

I'm in the midst of writing a blurb that could pass for a query.

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I am so totally confused.

A blurb is usually short promotional copy to advertise a book. Like the copy on the back of the cover. Or the endorsements somebody writes for the book.

Are you talking about the book information that appears in the query letter? This is a pretty straightforward indication of what the book is about.
It's not so much retelling the story in a narrative sense. It's talking 'about' the story.

The best answer is it depends. Some books only do the first 50 pages or so in the query, others cover the whole book. Any one who has looked at queries for a while can recognize plots, but you have to know what elements matters in your genre. For instance, in a thriller, you don't develop the romance, although you might quickly through the romance in. The romance is not an essential element of a thriller so it's not going to be important to the whole book. However, if your book is a romance, the romance will dominate the query, and the thriller will be less important.

Ideally the whole query is a teaser. But again, there are cases where you don't want your query to be a teaser. For example, if your story is going off in a weird direction, knowing where you're going is better than having an agent wondering if you're lost.

Katiemac has good questions and create a basic query.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Short answer: the query covers as much of the novel as it needs to.

Mine covers only the first two chapters. 4000 words, give or take.

There are various ways to do it, but the one I usually use is focusing on the inciting event that launches the story and shows what the protag wants, the bad thing in the way of her getting it, and then the stakes if she fails.

Teasers make decent endings, but they can be tricky. Try to avoid a "yes, no" type question, like "will Bob make it to the castle of doom before the zombies eat him?" because the hero usually wins in books, so that's not really a tough question to answer. Of course it's yes. I've found questions that make readers wonder what the cost will be for the win work very effectively. You know they win, but the question is how and at what price?

This may not be your case at all, but I've found when I can't get the blurb/hook pieces in place, it's usually because I have a hole in the story somewhere. The spot you're stuck on could indicate a subtle problem with the story. Re-looking at that might solve your issue

Oh, "blurb" in the industry usually refers to the quote a well-known person gives to a book to help promote it. "Cover copy" or "jacket copy" is the description on the book found on the cover. I tend to say cover blurb myself when I'm talking to friends and my crit group, but blurb does have a specific meaning in the biz which might confuse folks

My quick thoughts on reading that is, what does Aime hope to gain by this that readers could root for? Why would they care about this girl who is so cruel she'd cheat and manipulate the guy she claims to love? (I'm sure she's not unlikable, but she comes across so in this, and readers would probably need a compelling reason to want to know her story) And what's the end problem Aime struggles with? Is she choosing between the two boys, or trying to fix things with Brae?

Danthia said:

Teasers make decent endings, but they can be tricky. Try to avoid a "yes, no" type question, like "will Bob make it to the castle of doom before the zombies eat him?" because the hero usually wins in books, so that's not really a tough question to answer. Of course it's yes. I've found questions that make readers wonder what the cost will be for the win work very effectively. You know they win, but the question is how and at what price?

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I love the ongoing Bob/zombie story you use in your blog. It's awesome.

Seconding Katie and Danthia's advice here.

When I write the plot summary, I try and stick to what happens in the first 3-4 chapters. Because if your inciting incident hasn't happened by those chapters, your story is probably taking too long to get started.

Don't think in climaxes, plot points chapters, arcs and conflict. Readers don't care about the technicalities. All you need to do is to introduce the main characters and set up the plot while making the reader interested in finding out how it's gonna end.

Parametric said:

I love the ongoing Bob/zombie story you use in your blog. It's awesome.

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Aw, thanks! I'm having fun with it myself.

KC36 said:

It's actually an alternating viewpoint between Amie and Wyatt. I didn't know how to include that in there. And she's not wanting to cheat, just pretending to be with Wyatt so that Brae would want to interfere. I didn't want to spell out the ending by saying what the problem is, because I say what the problem is then the ending would be obvious.

And I've also been trying to make this blurb humorous since it's a romantic comedy, but I didn't have much luck with that.

ETA: What if I separate the sentence I describe Wyatt as Brae's best friend into another paragraph so that it's more like both of them are the narrators?

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You might try approaching it from both sides. Amie has this problem and is going to do this to fix it, or this bad thing happens, while Wyatt has this problem, and has to do this to fix it (which will connect to Amie's in some way to link the plots) or this bad thing happens (and the stakes will probably connect as well).

Romances use that set up a lot, so you might try reading a bunch of cover flaps to see how they structure it. Might give you some ideas.

If they're both narrators with something to gain or lose, then showing that is probably going to be important. Is there an underlying storyline/problem that links the two besides "Get Brae's attention?" Something thematic? What's in it for the reader to see these two go through all this? That might be your core story that ties it all together.