Alliteration used in interior monologue

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DannySherbet

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It seems, from reading several threads, that alliteration is generally viewed as a bad thing. However, is it OK to use alliteration when writing interior monologue - especially if your protagonist would likely use alliteration in his or her speech?

For example, suppose we have a character that the protagonist doesn't like: let's call the character Lawrence, from Liverpool, a 30-year-old bloke who's never had a girlfriend.

Lawrence strolls into a scene and the example line is:

"Here he comes, thought Jenny: Lawrence the Liverpool Loser."

Are there any problems with that?
 

Mumut

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In moderation, I find alliteration acceptable. I hadn't heard it's not. I'm still learning.
 

Bufty

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No problems at all with Lawrence the Liverpool Loser. Why should there be? Alliteration per se is not 'bad'.

But - Henry entered and entreated Teddy to treat him to a tea-time treat - sounds odd. I suspect you are slightly misinterpreting the threads' objections. They are to bad usage of alliteration - not usage.

It's a tool -like any other in the writer's tool-box.

It seems, from reading several threads, that alliteration is generally viewed as a bad thing. However, is it OK to use alliteration when writing interior monologue - especially if your protagonist would likely use alliteration in his or her speech?

For example, suppose we have a character that the protagonist doesn't like: let's call the character Lawrence, from Liverpool, a 30-year-old bloke who's never had a girlfriend.

Lawrence strolls into a scene and the example line is:

"Here he comes, thought Jenny: Lawrence the Liverpool Loser."

Are there any problems with that?
 
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Maryn

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But - Henry entered and entreated Teddy to treat him to a tea-time treat - sounds odd.
Damn, I have to edit again?:tongue

Maryn, who'd like a tea-time treat herself
 

RJK

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To paraphrase Uncle Jim, If you are drawing attention to the words, it's wrong.
 
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