When You Were a New Mom (or Dad!)...

tjwriter said:

What do you wish people had talked to you about or made you aware of? What do you know now with experience that someone could have warned you of when you were a newb parent?

Click to expand...

Definitely letting the baby sleep in our bed. We did that with our son and he wouldn't sleep by himself until he was 18 months old. Our daughter slept in her own crib from the moment we brought her home from the hospital. She's maybe slept in our bed once or twice in two years.

That sometimes babies cry when there is nothing wrong with them. That when you've fed them, changed them, winded them, rocked them and checked them over twice for any sign of illness the best thing you can do is put them down and make yourself a cup of tea. Five minutes later, hopefully baby will have fallen asleep, and if not, at least you feel a smidgen less stressed.

That there is no reason to spend $$$ on crib bedding because you will only end up using the sheet and the skirt (SIDS risk with the bumper, blankets, etc.).

That it's actually ok to cosleep ... and that a good washing machine is one of the most important parenting tools.

That my wife might become a lunatic. Yanno, for a while.

That little boys fountain when you change them and you'd best cover them lest you get drenched.

Feed them naked.

Manners should be used with kids from birth. They do absorb behavior from that young and it carries with them as they get older.

That you don't know the right way to do things until you find out who your kid is an how they react to things. (And you can throw out the tried and true rule book for the second kid -- nothing applies)

That scientifically established expert advice for nutrition, safety etc... is subject for change including 180 degree reversal without notice.

So many of these are what I'd have written if I'd seen this thread earlier. (But I did four loads of wash, so who's laughing now, huh? Huh?) I thought I was the only person who fed the baby naked, since I clean so much easier than my clothing.

Let's see, what's left? Oh, I got one. The baby swing is excellent, but the subway is better. Shove a paperback into the diaper bag and ride all day when they're colicky, to the end of the line and back again, over and over.

Maryn, whose colicky baby is 24

Uh-oh, look what you've started. I'm going to be cranking these out as I recall them.

Do not wear a fragile necklace around a baby. Their grasp is strong.

Maryn, who has a half-dozen broken necklaces which have waited 23 year for new clasps or restringing

Little or no baby talk. Talk to them like an intelligent-enough friend who wants a running commentary of everything you're doing, and by age three, their vocabularies will rival those of most adults.

Maryn, whose kids know a buncha words

Ohh I am SO on this thread. Keep it comin, people.

Let 'em cry. You can tell the difference between a 'regular' cry and a 'stressed' cry.

If it's regular, let 'em cry. You'll all be much better off in the long run.

Home made baby food is way cheaper than store bought.

Blackberries make purple pooh.

Kids can learn sign language as young as 6 months. They can use it to tell you they are pointing at the bookshelf not because they want to watch one of the movies on it but want their damn cup (which you placed on the third shelf of the bookshelf, out of their reach).

And sign language is a good place to start with manners. My kid used Please from 7 months on, and at 9 months said "apple more please" which, imo, qualifies as a sentence.

It's a lot easier for a kid to get out of a diaper cover with velcro closures than a disposable one.

Baby wipes are the best thing to use to clean laminate floors (Swiffer can kiss my ass).

Slings can be a life saver.

Most advice is worth exactly the amount you paid for it.

It's okay not to love every single second of being a parent. It's also okay to admit when you do.

You don't have to try to be friends with the playgroup moms just because you're in the playgroup. It's for your kids, not you.

Jenn, who hates small talk in general, nevermind small talk about diaper rash and teething, never once found common ground with the other moms, and read books on her palm pilot for 2 hours twice a week

tjwriter said:

What do you wish people had talked to you about or made you aware of? What do you know now with experience that someone could have warned you of when you were a newb parent?

Click to expand...

That every single person in the world would stop me to tell me exactly how they think I should raise my baby, and that only their advice was correct.

My husband wished that someone would have warned him exactly what happens when a woman "bears down" in the labor room... the doctors did not appreciate him screaming "it's a boy" when poop came out.

It's essential to have date time with hubby regularly.

It's absolutely essential to have ME time daily.

I got SO much guff because I carved out at least an hour every day to sit and write with headphones on, either when the kid(s) were sleeping or when the ex was home. Before I went back to work, it was the only sanity break I had and kept me from really losing it when I just didn't know what to do for the kid(s). However, the kids also quickly understood the value of ME time and, at a young age, looked at their naps as ME time.

Start as you intend to continue--even with babies.

Treat kids, even babies with respect. You'll get it back.

It's okay to cry when you've only had an hour of sleep five minutes at a time and your baby will not stop crying.

It's also okay to set your crying baby down when you've tried everything and walk away for a breather. It's much safer for you and your baby and your baby will never die from crying too much.

One my mother wished she had known, do not wear earrings with little babies. She had one ripped out and never wore them since.

You're not an evil heartless mom if you simply can't breastfeed.

Nap when your baby naps. It can really be your saving grace during those first few rough months.

There are times when you will do just about anything to make it shut up. That means it's time to enlist help immediately or set the baby down for a while because everyone reaches that breaking point. And no it doesn't mean you're a horrible person.

You do not exist solely to be a mother, don't forget who you are or what you like to do. You still need and deserve me time.

If you're married or have a significant other in your life with a baby, don't forget they're there too and want and need your companionship, even if you do feel horrible. Take fifteen minutes of no touching and complete isolation and then see if you can't enjoy their company once again. Sometimes you just need that short break of no one needing anything or touching you to be sane again.

Diaper rash isn't always just diaper rash, some babies are proficient at getting yeast infections and gallons of that diaper cream won't take care of it and no it doesn't make you a horrible parent because your kid got one and nothing you did to treat it works, it just means you didn't recognize a yeast infection.