Exir
09-19-2009, 08:03 PM
Okay, so I've started a new WIP, and the story is taking a life of its own. It's demanding to be darker and more mature than any story I've written before. So, I'd like to push some lines to the stretching point but still keep it appropriate for Upper-MG. You know, Coraline style. (Just FYI: my characters are 12 years old)
1. Bullying
Almost no physical bullying (only implied that the bullies used to do that, but have since moved on, when at the start of the story the first thing the MC does when hearing footsteps is to grab a rock and get in a defensive posture)
However, definitely lots of psychological manipulation, creepy in its own way. One time Piggy and his gang surround the MC while he's visiting his grandpa's grave, and instead of doing anything they just sit there and let the time run -- until it's night and pitch-dark. Then they leave, laughing, and tell the MC "you know, all we're doing is to teach you to be less of a loner and have more friends. You know, like us, so you don't have to walk home through the graveyard alone." Piggy also makes a quip about Pavlov's dog -- justified by the fact that he's very intelligent unlike stereotypical bullies -- and to mature readers who knows what's Pavlov's dog, it's creepy. I try to underplay in terms of description though -- I make what's happening clear but don't try to add too many details.
Once the MC tries to fight back and land a punch. He doesn't even gets to land a glancing blow before being subdued by Piggy's gang.
2. Dysfunctional family
MC's mother is perpetually drunk. Never violent, and truly caring during the rare moments of soberness, but when she's drunk she cares about nothing. MC's dad is a mostly responsible person but often too weighted by his own responsibilities and by his past that sometimes he disappears too and neglects the MC. Only in a scene near the end do they talk to each other. And only a few lines.
MC is born with mild fetal alcohol syndrome.
3. Horror and some non-graphic, non-gratuitous violence that the perpetrator feels very awfully sorry for.
MC meets a new friend early in the story. She seems nice at first. Then she starts acting strange and often pushes the MC to do things he doesn't want to. Then she tries to stab the MC with a pencil. Nothing graphic happens and no blood is spilled and the MC isn't hurt much, because the pencil lead had been deliberately broken off earlier and the point blunted by the very same girl. It turns out that the girl is influenced by a ghost that she doesn't have control over, and she is trying her hardest not to harm the MC (hence the precaution of blunting her pencils) but can't stop herself.
The MC is also torn between taking her word and still being her friend, or deciding that she is a manipulative bully just like Piggy.
The girl during the final part of the story also hurts MC's mom badly enough (off-screen) to make her hospitalized. This actually becomes a rare bonding moment between the MC's mother and father. The MC finally realizes that the ghost that was influencing the girl was just trying to help him using her own way. The dead girl, being brought up in an abusive household (again this is downplayed -- only phrase used was "her parents weren't nice to her", but kids definitely will get it) doesn't know any way to help other than through violent means, but she has good intentions still. (This is, in fact, the one part that concerns me beyond all the other examples I gave. A ghost who tries to help things by being abusive and violent to people -- how well will that sit?)
Ironically, despite the maturity of content and the age of MC and his friend (both 12), neither one ever really has a crush on the other. They just are very good friends throughout. I don't know why -- just felt like that part should be left out. Closest I get is the customary taunt by Piggy the bully: "so you've found a new friend -- and count yourself lucky that I didn't prefix that."
1. Bullying
Almost no physical bullying (only implied that the bullies used to do that, but have since moved on, when at the start of the story the first thing the MC does when hearing footsteps is to grab a rock and get in a defensive posture)
However, definitely lots of psychological manipulation, creepy in its own way. One time Piggy and his gang surround the MC while he's visiting his grandpa's grave, and instead of doing anything they just sit there and let the time run -- until it's night and pitch-dark. Then they leave, laughing, and tell the MC "you know, all we're doing is to teach you to be less of a loner and have more friends. You know, like us, so you don't have to walk home through the graveyard alone." Piggy also makes a quip about Pavlov's dog -- justified by the fact that he's very intelligent unlike stereotypical bullies -- and to mature readers who knows what's Pavlov's dog, it's creepy. I try to underplay in terms of description though -- I make what's happening clear but don't try to add too many details.
Once the MC tries to fight back and land a punch. He doesn't even gets to land a glancing blow before being subdued by Piggy's gang.
2. Dysfunctional family
MC's mother is perpetually drunk. Never violent, and truly caring during the rare moments of soberness, but when she's drunk she cares about nothing. MC's dad is a mostly responsible person but often too weighted by his own responsibilities and by his past that sometimes he disappears too and neglects the MC. Only in a scene near the end do they talk to each other. And only a few lines.
MC is born with mild fetal alcohol syndrome.
3. Horror and some non-graphic, non-gratuitous violence that the perpetrator feels very awfully sorry for.
MC meets a new friend early in the story. She seems nice at first. Then she starts acting strange and often pushes the MC to do things he doesn't want to. Then she tries to stab the MC with a pencil. Nothing graphic happens and no blood is spilled and the MC isn't hurt much, because the pencil lead had been deliberately broken off earlier and the point blunted by the very same girl. It turns out that the girl is influenced by a ghost that she doesn't have control over, and she is trying her hardest not to harm the MC (hence the precaution of blunting her pencils) but can't stop herself.
The MC is also torn between taking her word and still being her friend, or deciding that she is a manipulative bully just like Piggy.
The girl during the final part of the story also hurts MC's mom badly enough (off-screen) to make her hospitalized. This actually becomes a rare bonding moment between the MC's mother and father. The MC finally realizes that the ghost that was influencing the girl was just trying to help him using her own way. The dead girl, being brought up in an abusive household (again this is downplayed -- only phrase used was "her parents weren't nice to her", but kids definitely will get it) doesn't know any way to help other than through violent means, but she has good intentions still. (This is, in fact, the one part that concerns me beyond all the other examples I gave. A ghost who tries to help things by being abusive and violent to people -- how well will that sit?)
Ironically, despite the maturity of content and the age of MC and his friend (both 12), neither one ever really has a crush on the other. They just are very good friends throughout. I don't know why -- just felt like that part should be left out. Closest I get is the customary taunt by Piggy the bully: "so you've found a new friend -- and count yourself lucky that I didn't prefix that."