I Love New York

Billytwice · Sep 13, 2009

I Love New York

I love New York
where pedestrians
catch children
falling from the sky

Or press incautious commuters
into improbable gaps
beneath the speeding
subway trains

Where bartenders
show tourists the door
for temerity
in stating the obvious

‘Veal is a baby cow’

Apparently,
you don’t accuse
a New Yorker

of eating babies…

Ken · Sep 13, 2009

... quite cynical even by my standards ;-)
And all those things have happened, sad to say.
My only advise might be to make it slightly clearer that these events are factually based, by adding some specifics. What did the person look like who caught the last falling child in NY? What exact street did it happen on? (Info should be accessible online.) A common error in my view that poets make is being too general when being general, and being too specific when being specific. It's perfectly okay to mix the two. Just my own 2 cents. See what others have to say.

Billytwice · Sep 13, 2009

Ken said:
... quite cynical even by my standards ;-)
And all those things have happened, sad to say.
My only advise might be to make it slightly clearer that these events are factually based, by adding some specifics. What did the person look like who caught the last falling child in NY? What exact street did it happen on? (Info should be accessible online.) A common error in my view that poets make is being too general when being general, and being too specific when being specific. It's perfectly okay to mix the two. Just my own 2 cents. See what others have to say.

Here's a link to a slideshow about the falling child and subway incidents:

http://www.wgal.com/slideshow/news/10680836/detail.html

Surely it would have been far sadder if the child hadn't been caught or the fellow on the underground had been squished?

The tale of the New York bartender was told to me by one of my colleagues who visited NY. It is my opinion that barkeeper demonstrated an admirable intollerence and great strength of character.

With hindsight, I suppose the bartender tale could be construed as cynical...not what I intended in this case.

Billytwice · Sep 13, 2009

looks like I've stuck this in the wrong arena?
Could it be shifted to critique?

Rivana · Sep 16, 2009

I think this is perfect Billy, don't change a thing.

And damnit, I need to visit NY.

I Love New York

Billytwice

Ken

Billytwice

Billytwice

Rivana

Walks in the shades.