What do you think of my original idea?

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Horserider92

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I'm writing a story about Female centaurs. Well the main character is a female centaur. She was once human when she was four, but her mother (a witch) turned her into a centaur and kicked her out of the house. She lives in Virginia (near the pony swim) and so there was a herd of wild horses that wondered off from the site where they're supose to be at. so she now follows them. and then one day, there's these brutal men who want to capture her herd. she manages to get away but her whole herd is captured (and the men want to sell the herd). but the leader of all the men's son sees her and falls in love with her. he brings her back to his farm and hides her from his father. she falls in love with him, but the only problem is that her mother put a spell on her that she must never love or she will become fully horse (and if she does she will never be able to talk to her mother to have her mother change her back) and if she doesn't love, she will become human (with dangers ahead of her). her and the guy have to find her mother and show her mother that she has learned her lesson or else she will be forever a horse....

so what do you think? would you like to read some of the story?
 

Stunted

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My big question is "Why?". Why did her mother turn her into a centaur? Why did she hang out with a bunch of horses? Why do these people not notice that there's a centaur wandering around with the horses they want to get? Why does the guy fall in love with her if he doesn't know her and she's a friggin centaur? Why does she fall in love with him if he's kidnapping her? Why does the spell have these crazy conditions?

I'm not saying it's hopeless. It just needs some work.
 

Horserider92

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i have it all planned out why and all the other questions.. that's written in the story so yeah it's hard to put it in the summary
 

Rolling Thunder

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A new story idea is always exciting to write. But --write it, edit it and then polish it first before you decide to place it in SYW. Do a lot of research on the subject. Google female centaurs and you'll learn there's a special term for them. Read up on the mythology of Kentaurides and Centaurs to make your story believable.

It sounds like a good idea so far but you'll probably find many parallels in other stories of mythology. Don't let that stop you though; tell the story in your own way and make it your own. Good luck. :)
 

Horserider92

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thanks rolling thunder. yes i have looked up kentaurides and know about them. i'm gonna make it different then those stories for it's going to have alot of twists :D i'm planning to mabye publish it when i get older (i'm 17) so i'll prob wait till i'm 21...
 

Rolling Thunder

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Ah, well don't wait --too-- long. Passion for a story can die quickly if you don't keep at it. The real work comes when it's time to edit out XX,xxx words, so get it written and then set it aside for awhile.

When you come back to it you'll either dive back in to make it better or toss it in a trunk wondering 'What the hell was I thinking?" :D
 

Horserider92

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lol no i was planning to write it then edit it and wait to send it in to the publisher.. i don't think i'll ever lose my love for writing :D
 
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