Florid, lyrical prose and POV?

It's suited to a particular POV, but the P you should be concerned about is not that of the character through which the V is "filtered," but that of the narrator. Every narrator, first, second, or, yes, third, has a character, a nature, an agenda, goals, a voice, a point of view. Set aside the intellect or taste of the current "filter" character: who's really telling the story? You? A role you're putting on? Is floridity appropriate to that voice, that point of view, does it do what that persona wants done? —Even clear, limpid, transparent, simple prose is a tool, a choice, a voice, a point of view, a means to an end. These are the things to keep in mind.

IMO, if you're in CLOSE 3rd limited, then the narrative voice should be that of the character's and if the character doesn't use flowery language or poetic descriptions (say, he's Indiana Jones), then the style would be jarring and unconvincing. Remember, CLOSE 3rd is almost like 1st person.

Now, if you're only in 3rd limited and you're maintaining a neutral narrator (but not omniscient -- you're still telling the story through the POVs of the characters), then you can assume a style that is suitable for your story and your narrator. Same with omniscient narrator. For example, Pride & Prejudice has an authoritative narrator, while Atonement has a poetic, verbose one (and we later actually find out who the omniscient narrator was).

Maestro, I'm doing omni, but I really wondered about Limited 3rd regarding my character's voice. She is very casual and Southern, with a strong accent.

Say I were doing other forms of 3rd than omni. When would the voice be in her casual style and dialect, and when could it be more neutral [except for dialog, obviously]?

-- Bonus question, but OT: is there any time I can use her own voice in omni? At the moment, I italicize direct thoughts and don't ever go on and on in her actual voice. The narrator's voice is much less casual.

kiplet said:

It's suited to a particular POV, but the P you should be concerned about is not that of the character through which the V is "filtered," but that of the narrator. Every narrator, first, second, or, yes, third, has a character, a nature, an agenda, goals, a voice, a point of view. Set aside the intellect or taste of the current "filter" character: who's really telling the story? You? A role you're putting on? Is floridity appropriate to that voice, that point of view, does it do what that persona wants done? —Even clear, limpid, transparent, simple prose is a tool, a choice, a voice, a point of view, a means to an end. These are the things to keep in mind.

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Great post, kiplet. Maestrowork also gave a great one. Two very good bits of advice there.

I'll add my vote of support to kiplet and Maestrowork. Decide who your narrator is, and that will help you know what kind of voice he or she should have. If the narrator is the character (1st or close 3rd), then the character needs to have the qualifications to think in the style you've chosen. If the narrator isn't the character, than who is it? If it's someone within the story world, like the character later in his/her life, or a bard telling a story a hundred years later, then qualifications to think in the chosen style will come into play again. If it's *you,* then you can do what you like - but having yourself be narrator has its own kind of complications in other areas (like distractions from the world/story, etc).

The choice of narrator makes all the difference.

backslashbaby said:

Say I were doing other forms of 3rd than omni. When would the voice be in her casual style and dialect, and when could it be more neutral [except for dialog, obviously]?

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If it's not close 3rd, then you have a choice. You can have a completely neutral narrator whose job is only to report the story through the POVs of the characters. You can choose any style that is relevant to your story. Obviously if you write contemporary about a bunch of college kids you don't want to go Victorian on them (or maybe you do, just to spice things up). Or if you're doing a historical fiction you don't want to be too casually urban American.

When should you use her voice? I think when you're deep inside her mind and heart, the narrator can dip in and assume her voice for a change, but only when it's clear that it's totally her mind speaking, and the narrator is not narrating as much as showing us what exactly she's thinking (albeit in 3rd person and not quoting her).

Here's an example:

Mary walked into the cafe, not expecting to see anyone she knew. But there he was: Kevin. She had been trying to avoid him. Crap. Wherever she went there he was. What's the chance of that? Gosh, the world was going to come to an end. Mary just knew it.

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The bolded text is supposedly Mary's voice -- we're now in her head, without explicitly saying so. But we know it's not a narration anymore but a direct look into Mary's mind. Then at the end, we come back to the narration and become neutral again.