You know those people who want you to read their manuscript?

Marian Perera · Sep 1, 2009

Yeah, you know them. They find out you're a writer (or worse, that you're going to be published) and suddenly they want you to read this story they've been working on for the past three years, or the novel they've got under their bed. Not fun.

But there's something worse. Much worse.

My friend and ex-coworker, who's a wonderful person in every way, asked me to read her daughter's manuscript.

This was at a party, so I just stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. No, a deer under those circumstances would have more dignity. I gaped like a goldfish. I think I mumbled some assent, because we moved on to some other topic of discussion and I am really hoping she will forget about this.

Next time I'm just going to take a leaf out of that recent Salon article and say that I have a policy of not commenting on what I read. And once I get an agent, that'll give me a sure way out. "My agent says that if I read anyone's unpublished manuscript, he'll fire me". Yeah.

I don't know how anyone can just ask a writer to read their manuscript. I mean, I love my friend. But does she know whether her daughter's genre is one I normally read? What does she want from me - a critique or a pat on the back (for her daughter, I'm guessing the latter)? I can't even rant about this on my blog because she reads that!

...sigh...

DeleyanLee · Sep 1, 2009

Oh, I love that. Totally.

I've got a friend whose teenage kid writes poetry and wanted me to look at it. I so do NOT do poetry. I got out of it by asking if it's dirty limericks and turning the headlights on him (no, he had no idea).

I have to admit, though, that I'm rather heartless about who and what I beta for. I've no problem playing the bioch--and if a friend is surprised by that, then that tells me just how well they don't know me.

Hope for your sake, Mom forgets about it. Or that kid didn't know anything about it and is too bashful to hand over said book. Or something that pans out for you not reading it.

mscelina · Sep 1, 2009

My answer to that is and has always been "no." It's the same answer I give when someone "gives" me an idea they think would make a great book.

"I'm sorry, but I don't call up a lawyer and ask them to do legal work for free. It's kind of the same concept, thanks."

heyjude · Sep 1, 2009

Oh, Queen, that sucks. You could go a couple of ways here... "Wow, I wish I had time to do this right now! But I don't..." ::shake head sadly:: or, be a sucker like me, read it fast and say whatever you can that's nice about it, give a couple of suggestions as gently as you can, and try to move on with your life.

maestrowork · Sep 1, 2009

I read some mss. from a bunch of high school kids -- mostly girls, mostly either Twilight type fantasy (nothing against that, just not my genre) or poetry about self-inflicted pain. But then there was one who wrote a really good sci-fi ghost story about an insane asylum. I was very impressed. So you never know.

But anyway... I hate it when people put us in a rough position like that. If I had enough time to think and respond, I'd probably say the following:

a. I'm very busy -- I'm working on three books and a bunch of other projects

b. Is it the genre I write or am familiar with? No, sorry, I don't know if I can be of help

c. I'll do it but at the very least buy 15 copies of my book and give it to your friends or start a book club on my book. Show some gratitude first, dammit. Then I may consider helping your precious kid.

stormie · Sep 1, 2009

First time that happened to me, I reacted just as Queen of Swords did. I was taken by surprise. When I critiqued it, I was met with silence,yet I stated positives along with suggestions how to improve it.

Never, ever again. Now I'm prepared to say, "I'm sorry, I don't do critiquing. But I know of a great writer's board!"

maestrowork · Sep 1, 2009

stormie said:
When I critiqued it, I was met with silence,yet I stated positives along with suggestions how to improve it.

As Somerset Maugham said, "People ask for criticism, but they only want praise." Especially with teenage writers, FMOE.

katiemac · Sep 1, 2009

My first question would be whether the daughter knows mom is asking you and she even wants you to look at it at all.

But my answer would still be no.

Madison · Sep 1, 2009

I'd say no, too... It's never happened to me, but I get people asking to read MY manuscript all the time. Then it becomes this -- if you won't let me that means you don't like me -- popularity contest thing. Grrr...

Libbie · Sep 1, 2009

Uh. Yeah. My mom has this friend who writes this really dumb blog and my mother thinks her friend is SOOOOO BRILLIANTLY HILARIOUS. However, her friend blows at spelling and grammar. My mom is CONSTANTLY trying to get me to read and "comment on" (i.e. EDIT) her friend's stupid blog posts. They saw something on The View and they've decided that Friend can become a gazillionaire from her stupid, stupid blog, and that the "corporate sponsors" are just WAITING to throw money at her.

I might get a cut of the money if I give up my precious free time to edit Stupid Friend's inane blog posts! Ooooh, I am SO TEMPTED.

(Every time I refuse, my mom comes back at me with some kind of passive-aggressive remark about how it's a shame I'm not doing something "real" with my writing. Hahaha. I've made a grand total of $45.98 off of my writing so far, which is more than Stupid Friend has ever made from hers.)

I haven't yet had anybody ask me to read their ms or their daughter's ms, unless it was a serious writer friend, and then I gladly did so, because I know they're serious and really WANT a good critique. Ugh. I'd probably go all deer-in-headlights at that party, too. My sympathies for you!

scarletpeaches · Sep 1, 2009

I'd say "No."

If they persisted, I'd ask, "Would you approach someone and expect them to do free work for a friend of a friend? No? Then why the hell would I give up my precious time?"

Besides, there's all sorts of legal issues involved. If you ever write something vaguely similar, i.e. same genre, you'll get your ass sued for plagiarism by the talentless spod who forced their crappy book on you in the first place.

BenPanced · Sep 1, 2009

Friend: "Please read my ms. Be brutal, honest, honestly brutal, and brutally honest."
Me: *reads ms and provides thoughtful, reasoned, honest, brutal critique*
Friend: (Satan-reverb voice) "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!" *runs upstairs crying*

maestrowork · Sep 1, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Besides, there's all sorts of legal issues involved. If you ever write something vaguely similar, i.e. same genre, you'll get your ass sued for plagiarism by the talentless spod who forced their crappy book on you in the first place.

That's a great point, and in fact many agents suggest their clients not to read any unpublished manuscripts for that exact reason.

Certainly you can use that as an excuse (true or not) to deter such requests:

"I'm contractually forbidden by my agent to read any unpublished manuscript. Sorry."

Wayne K · Sep 1, 2009

I'd tell them the truth. That I couldn't be objective because we're friends and neighbors. Then once I'm out of it, I would suggest a writers group or something. Who knows, maybe they might be good, and then I've helped someone. It's the least I can do after all people have done for me. I might offer to read the first chapter--If it stinks, maybe there's a direction I could steer them in.

I've also been flying on painkillers all afternoon, so I reserve the right to change my answer.

Shurikane · Sep 1, 2009

Hey, I thought that sort of treatment was reserved to computer people!

I reviewed something only once. A song. I listened to it and gave feedback.

The person never spoke to me again.

Shakesbear · Sep 1, 2009

Hmph! I really do not like people who take advantage. I am a skilled needlewoman and it pees me off when I get asked to make someone a garment - and am expected to do the work for nothing! My standard answer is 'but darling you simply cannot afford me!' and if they then ask how much I am talking about I tell them it is £75 (approx $120) an hour - or £600 (approx $970) for an eight hour day! They never ask again. I have found that to work in all sorts of circumstances - and the higher the price you put on your time the more chance you have of success!

maestrowork · Sep 1, 2009

Shakesbear said:
and the higher the price you put on your time the more chance you have of success!

I did that once but the lady kept saying, "you can come by and fix my 'computer' anytime." Then she winked.

scarletpeaches · Sep 1, 2009

[insert your own hard drive joke here]

Namatu · Sep 1, 2009

I would say I'm too busy to take on more work at the moment. Emphasis on "work."

Someone recently asked me if I'd be interested in co-authoring a book. I was asked because I write and already have the foundational knowledge of books and publishing in general, not because I knew anything about the topic, had written in that genre before, or anything else in the realm of the reasonable. I declined quite speedily, but offered to provide suggestions as this person went forward alone.

timewaster · Sep 1, 2009

I read mss for writer friends - who will also read mine, which seems fair. I have read for people who have asked me in the past and it rarely ends well; I tend to tell it like I see it.
These days I teach creative writing so I use that as an excuse, though I will read stuff for former students if they ask me because they would only ask me if they actually wanted to know what I thought. Generally it is a can of worms and actually critiquing a novel or extended piece is a lot of work.

Shakesbear · Sep 1, 2009

maestrowork said:
I did that once but the lady kept saying, "you can come by and fix my 'computer' anytime." Then she winked.

LOL! So - did you?

Cyia · Sep 1, 2009

It's the equivalent of someone showing off ugly baby pictures.

Tell the friend about this site, tell them they can post in SYW for multiple objective opinions, and then tell them how to locate a beta reader.

Darzian · Sep 1, 2009

Send them all to AW.
We'll handle them.

LOG · Sep 1, 2009

Darzian said:
Send them all to AW.
We'll handle them.

/signed

I would either do that, or, "What's over there!" and run.

Mr Flibble · Sep 1, 2009

I say 'Hey, you should get them to go to AW. Tis an awesome place. And they have great betas!'

*dusts hands*

You know those people who want you to read their manuscript?

starting over

Writing Anarchist

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Making my own sunshine

Fear the Death Ray

storm central

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Five by Five

summertime...

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

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Mobius Lasagna

knows a hawk from a handsaw

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Lost in mental space.

present

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Rewriting My Destiny

To-to-to-ron-to

Lagrangian

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble