Intentional fragmented sentences?

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

I am writing ch. 4 right now and during dialog I have used intentional framented sentences. I read the dilog out loud and it sounds ok to me. What is the rule for using fragments in writing a novel. I also use fragments as one word sentences.

examples:
Right.
No!
Don't!
Stop!
I know these are camands, can I use multible word framents in conversations or personal thought, or any other way as a matter of fact.

Thanks
Jane

alleycat · Aug 29, 2009

Fragmented sentences are fine in dialogue. Write it the way you want the character to say it.

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

Thank you Allycat
That is exactly what I wanted to hear. It sounds great the way I wrote it. There are so many rules and I don't know much about any of them except what I have learned on AW and from my writing partner who has the patience of God with my lack of writing knowledge.
Much appreciated
Jane

aadams73 · Aug 29, 2009

Camands?

I'm with Alleycat, fragments are fine in dialogue. I'll go even further and say they are fine elsewhere as well. In moderation. Lee Child makes a whole lot of money using fragments.

alleycat · Aug 29, 2009

By the way, one-word sentences are not really fragmented sentences; they are generally just imperatives or exclamations.

thethinker42 · Aug 29, 2009

aadams73 said:
I'm with Alleycat, fragments are fine in dialogue. I'll go even further and say they are fine elsewhere as well. In moderation. Lee Child makes a whole lot of money using fragments.

Amen. I use sentence fragments all over the place in the narrative...used in moderation, as you said, they can be quite effective.

As far as the "rule" against using sentence fragments, it's one of those "learn it so you can learn how to bend it" rules, methinks.

alleycat · Aug 29, 2009

aadams73 said:
I'm with Alleycat, fragments are fine in dialogue. I'll go even further and say they fine elsewhere as well. In moderation. Lee Child makes a whole lot of money using fragments.

I sometimes use a fragmented sentence in narration if it reads better and/or creates a better rhythm to a paragraph, as do many well-known writers.

alleycat · Aug 29, 2009

thethinker42 said:
As far as the "rule" against using sentence fragments, it's one of those "learn it so you can learn how to bend it" rules, methinks.

I suspect it comes more from the emphasis on essays and formal writing in school. In some kinds of writing, fragmented sentences are frowned upon, but then, so are contractions. Fiction is more flexible when it comes to grammar "rules".

john barnes on toast · Aug 29, 2009

barbilarry said:
I read the dilog out loud and it sounds ok to me.

Then why are you worrying about it?

I really hope it's not because you have word processing software that's telling you should be.

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

I love you guys. Hugs! And no not because of soft are. A critter kept mentioning my fragmented sentences. But I have read it in novels and it sounded good there. There are just so damned many rules when writing. And I usually break at leat of few in every ch. I write. At some point in time one tends to grow quite tired of making a fool of ones self. If you get my drift. Thank you all. Much appreciated. I don't overuse them but I do love to sprinkle them in my writing.
Jane
Jane

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

aadams73 said:
Camands?

I'm with Alleycat, fragments are fine in dialogue. I'll go even further and say they are fine elsewhere as well. In moderation. Lee Child makes a whole lot of money using fragments.

Elsewhere is good too. I really do love them.
Thanks
Jane

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

john barnes on toast said:
Then why are you worrying about it?

I really hope it's not because you have word processing software that's telling you should be.

Because my critters make me worry about them.
Thanks Jane

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

thethinker42 said:
Amen. I use sentence fragments all over the place in the narrative...used in moderation, as you said, they can be quite effective.

As far as the "rule" against using sentence fragments, it's one of those "learn it so you can learn how to bend it" rules, methinks.

Lori
My problem is when I bend the rules I usually look quite foolish. My knowledge of the rules of grammar are so bad that I don't know I am writing a no-no. When the critters call me on something like fragments I don't know enough about what gets called a mistake that I can't have a "lively discussion" with any of them, as my writing partner likes to say. I always have to go and study what ever the rule is for the mistake I have made. Then when I go back to have a "lively discussion" the person who critted me doesn't know what the hell I am even talking about. Sighs. Such is the life of a very unschooled writer. I will learn though, come hell or high water. Someday yes I will.
Thank you
Jane

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

aadams73 said:
Camands?

I'm with Alleycat, fragments are fine in dialogue. I'll go even further and say they are fine elsewhere as well. In moderation. Lee Child makes a whole lot of money using fragments.

You have made my day by letting me know a published writer actually does this, besides the one I read. Maybe it is not the exception to the rule, as one critter said, a while back
Thanks
Jane

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

One more itty bitty question. When I have something crtiqued should I mention the fragmented sentences were intentional?
Thanks
Jane

Maryn · Aug 29, 2009

No. But you should seek critics who understand that they are not necessarily mistakes. I would question whether you're getting useful feedback from people who are calling you on them.

It's possible they're noting fragments as mistakes because, as you tell us, your grammar skills are not what they should be. (Or will be, nudge-nudge.) Maybe they believe you don't know they're fragments. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt for now and assume good intentions.

Maryn, ready to think the best of people until they merit otherwise

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

Maryn said:
No. But you should seek critics who understand that they are not necessarily mistakes. I would question whether you're getting useful feedback from people who are calling you on them.

It's possible they're noting fragments as mistakes because, as you tell us, your grammar skills are not what they should be. (Or will be, nudge-nudge.) Maybe they believe you don't know they're fragments. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt for now and assume good intentions.

Maryn, ready to think the best of people until they merit otherwise

Maryn,
I feel like we are friends. I follow your writing on Ray's house of love. I'm shy or I would join in. I justed wanted to say thank you. I promise I wasn't dissing my critters. And my writing partner knows my limitations so he never does this. I love the critters who help me. I would never learn anything if it were not for them. This all happened in the past when I first started on AW. I thanked them and ment it then as I still do now. I think my writing was so bad at the beginning that no one will crit it anyway so it is a moot point. But anyway every day I spend on this site I feel my writing improves and I owe it all to the people here who have been gracious enought to offer help to a newbie (Back in April). I love everyone here.
Thanks,
Jane

Keyboard Hound · Aug 29, 2009

Jane,
I've had a couple of academic types do some critting of my work, and if I'd followed some of their suggestions, I would have taken all the charm out of my writing. When I first started out writing, I would not have known that.

Some types of writing are formal, some more informal. Often I write illiterate characters, and of course their grammar and sentence structure will not be spot on. It's not intended to be. Even when using narrative seen from such a character's perspective, the grammar will not be what you'd find in an English book. Take into account the story you are telling and your characters. Judge the critiques you get by it. Use suggestions if they fit and don't worry about them if they don't. Learn all you can as you go, but just remember that grammar is something that can be fixed after the story is in place, so don't worry excessively over it.

I've seen you handle crits so gracefully, it's impressed me more than just about anything I've seen on this writing board. Keep on plugging until you get this story out. There are so many people willing to help.

Keyboard

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

Keyboard Hound said:
Jane,
I've had a couple of academic types do some critting of my work, and if I'd followed some of their suggestions, I would have taken all the charm out of my writing. When I first started out writing, I would not have known that.

Some types of writing are formal, some more informal. Often I write illiterate characters, and of course their grammar and sentence structure will not be spot on. It's not intended to be. Even when using narrative seen from such a character's perspective, the grammar will not be what you'd find in an English book. Take into account the story you are telling and your characters. Judge the critiques you get by it. Use suggestions if they fit and don't worry about them if they don't. Learn all you can as you go, but just remember that grammar is something that can be fixed after the story is in place, so don't worry excessively over it.

I've seen you handle crits so gracefully, it's impressed me more than just about anything I've seen on this writing board. Keep on plugging until you get this story out. There are so many people willing to help.

Keyboard[/quote

Keyboard.
I truly believe you are on this site because God led you here to be my guardian angel. Your kind words as always make me feel like I might just learn everything and write something that will be worthwhile and help change some lives or save some. I humbly thank you again.
I love you
Jane

ChaosTitan · Aug 29, 2009

Dude. If fragments in dialogue or narrative were no-no's, my book never would have gotten past my agent's desk....

barbilarry · Aug 29, 2009

ChaosTitan said:
Dude. If fragments in dialogue or narrative were no-no's, my book never would have gotten past my agent's desk....

Thank you ChaosTitan
That is very uplifting and encouraging to hear. I tried to take all my fragmented sentences out of my work today and every one without exception sounded like sh*t. So I rewrote the sentences back to the fragmented ones. Then I jumped immediately on this thread because everyone knows that what is said and advised here is the absolute right thing. The advice is golden.
Thank you and congratulations on your book.
Jane

gothicangel · Aug 30, 2009

I posted on YWO.com two years ago, and I was given the same criticism. So you are not alone barbilarry! Evidently these people have never read any Angela Carter. One cheeky soul even suggested I read Eat, Shoots and Leaves [and I'm reading Scottish Literature at University!]

Fragment sentences are great for writing a character who is mental fragile (even damaged) and writing an oppressive atmosphere.

barbilarry · Aug 30, 2009

Thank you Gothicangel.
I think you summed it up very well. We (I can now include myself on framented sentences) know framented sentences enhance a story and are perfectly fine to use.Thank you so much for your comment.
Jane

Libbie · Aug 30, 2009

I use fragmented sentences all the time. It's a major part of my particular voice. I use them to increase tension and pace and to indicate atmosphere in the narrative, not just in dialogue.

I've published short stories that rely heavily on fragmented sentences to create atmosphere and pace, and although I haven't published a novel yet, my WIP uses frags as well, and my very tough beta readers seemed to like it. So I say, use it when it works. Rules were made to be broken.

Eldritch · Aug 30, 2009

Jane,
If you haven't read Stephen King's ON WRITING yet, do so. He gives some great advice.

Intentional fragmented sentences?

I just wanna write

Still around

I just wanna write

A Work in Progress

Still around

Abnormal Romance Author

Still around

Still around

I just wanna write

I just wanna write

I just wanna write

I just wanna write

I just wanna write

I just wanna write

I Tried

I just wanna write

Old kid. Tough skin!!

I just wanna write

Around

I just wanna write

Toughen up.

I just wanna write

Worst song played on ugliest guitar