Unbounded joy!

AndreaUKA · Aug 22, 2009

I just had to post this to share my good fortune with you all. After several weeks of bombarding PA with emails I have, this morning, received the following from them:

Whoever "no one else" may be, they're not PublishAmerica authors (This was in response to their claim that they had not deleted my post (which they had, or at least moved it to an obscure and inaccessible forum) and my response that neither I, nor 'anyone else' could read it/find it.)
Neither are you. Publication of your book was discontinued due to
lack of sales, under Par. 24 of your contract. The discontinuation
notice is in the mail. If it has not reached you yet, it must be
because you reside on another side of the globe which may or may not
be the reason why you come across lately as if you're from a
different planet altogether.

We will ship your hardcover copy to you by surface mail.

Please consider this our final correspondence.

Incidentally, all their other emails (when they finally deigned to reply - possibly was because I eventually cc'd the Prather woman in, thus making myself even more of a nuisance) were in the same sarcastic, rude and ignorant vein.

Ah me, persistence sometimes pays...

Please forgive me if this is posted in the incorrect place - I am quite overcome with happiness and giddy with success!

Marian Perera · Aug 22, 2009

PA said:
The discontinuation
notice is in the mail. If it has not reached you yet, it must be
because you reside on another side of the globe which may or may not
be the reason why you come across lately as if you're from a
different planet altogether.

So professional, aren't they.

I'm very happy for you, Andrea!

AndreaUKA · Aug 22, 2009

Thanks Queen! That's actually one of their milder insults.

I rather liked this one:

That's all peachy, but it's not like you are living next door. (As to why my hardcover copy hadn't turned up after 2 months)
That said, good luck with that publishing company that you're running on the side!

Bloody good job UKA Press don't treat their authors like that - don't think we'd last long if we did

Christine N. · Aug 22, 2009

They've obviously taken many courses in professional business correspondence. And failed every last one.

But good for you!

tlblack · Aug 22, 2009

Nothing like a smarta$$ retort to get your day started off right, eh? Great news for you!

circlexranch · Aug 22, 2009

That sounds like a Robert Fletcher email! Could it be they've joined forces . . . or PA is subbing out their email.

What a bunch of freaking clowns!

PA Lurkers! Take note! That email is your future when you finally wake up from the Kool-Aid haze!

Thank you Andrea, that post made my day.

Terie · Aug 22, 2009

AndreaUKA said:
We will ship your hardcover copy to you by surface mail.

Right there they admit that more than two months after you placed your order (wasn't it?), they're only now shipping your book.

My US publisher ships my orders to the UK same day as the order was received and by air freight so that I get them two days later. Not two months after I order and then by surface.

Congrats on getting your rights back.

AndreaUKA · Aug 22, 2009

If I remember correctly, I ordered the copy on 16th June. I waited a month, then started emailing them, but for the first 2-3 weeks they didn't deign to reply. It was only when I cc'd in the delightful Prathers, that I eventually got a (very rude) reply. The first excuse was that there was a problem with my text file (how this stopped them emailing me to tell me so is anyone's guess, however) - then it turned out that I hadn't paid enough postage (I'd ticked the wrong box apparently, easy enough to do). So...finally, after 8 weeks, I got (in part) this:

'...The delay in shipping your copy is caused by you (but of course! Silly me! (Note they've conveniently forgotten about damaged text file))...Despite clear instructions to do it right, you opted to do it wrong and pay for domestic shipping only. The $3.99 that you have tried to get away with (my bold) doesn't even cover the cost of carrying the package over to the post office....'

To which (in part) I replied:
'...Firstly, let me give you a lesson in how to address a customer. It goes something like this.

Dear Ms Lowne,

I’m afraid there has been a delay in shipping your copy of *** (insert title, author and ISBN here) because you inadvertently ticked the incorrect ‘postage and package’ box. Unfortunately, the box you ticked was for National (US) parcels only. The cost of P&P to ***** is, in fact, $7.47, making a difference of $3.48.

So sorry for the inconvenience and delay, we will ship your copy immediately, and perhaps you would be so kind as to make over the difference to our bank account *** (insert name of bank and account number here) at your convenience.

Best regards,

Publish America Customer Support. ...'

Alas, I doubt it will have done any good.

I also have customers in the US, and when orders are placed, they receive their order within 7-10 days, no matter how many copies are required, or where in the US they live. PA may have been able to fool many others, but you only have to know a little bit about the publishing biz to know that 90% (make that 99%) of what they tell you is total rubbish. That's probably why they wanted to get rid of me for good

JulieB · Aug 22, 2009

Wow. It'll be interesting to see how long it takes for their letter to get to you. Here's hoping it's a full reversion.

Gillhoughly · Aug 22, 2009

Congratulations!

I see the Info-monster is down to her usual level of (non) professionalism. What a miserably sad, angry, and depressed creature she must be. Aren't you "lucky" that she deigns to reveal to you her true self? I'd hate to have to live inside HER head.

Hooray, you're book's coming back!!! THAT'S what's important. Woo!

AndreaUKA · Aug 22, 2009

Thanks very much guys.

'...It'll be interesting to see how long it takes for their letter to get to you...'

Indeed it will, Julie. I have made a note in my diary

*flexes fingers*

But who is 'Info-Monster'? Is that the Prather woman?

(sorry, am a relatively new poster on this thread)

ChristineR · Aug 22, 2009

"Infocenter" is the name of the account PublishAmerica staff uses to post on their bulletin board, when they deign to answer questions there. It's not always the same person at the keyboard, but when it's someone rude and crazy, we assume it to be Ms. Prather.

Brandi636 · Aug 22, 2009

I'm shocked at how rude they are. I almost published my novel with them when I was high school, but I am definitely glad I decided against it.
On top of everything else that is bad, they just lack professionalism. I would never talk to one of my authors that way.

merrihiatt · Aug 22, 2009

Great news, Andrea!!! I'm thrilled you won't have to deal with PublishAmerica any more! Hurrah!!!

ETA: Isn't it odd that your contract is up in a few months and you wanted your rights back and suddenly PA is saying that they canceled your contract because of lack of demand? ** shaking my head ** Customer service is definitely not PA's strong suit.

CatSlave · Aug 22, 2009

ChristineR said:
"Infocenter" is the name of the account PublishAmerica staff uses to post on their bulletin board, when they deign to answer questions there. It's not always the same person at the keyboard, but when it's someone rude and crazy, we assume it to be Ms. Prather.

Miranda Prather is the champion of rude correspondence.

"Nonsense!" interrupted Larry Clopper. "Miranda gets all the credit when I'm the one who mastered the art of baiting the authors.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel. They're helpless against me, I tell ya."

"Shut up, you idiot," said Miranda.

And they stepped out to the parking lot to decide once and for all who was the better man.

Then the employees -inspired perhaps by shame- locked the door behind the two Stooges and destroyed the master database.

Well, two out of three's not a bad start.

The End.

I wish.

ChristineR · Aug 22, 2009

Yeah, well Miranda's the one with an actual criminal record for being a rude crazy person, so Larry has some serious catching up to do.

Bartholomew · Aug 22, 2009

AndreaUKA said:
I just had to post this to share my good fortune with you all. After several weeks of bombarding PA with emails I have, this morning, received the following from them:

Whoever "no one else" may be, they're not PublishAmerica authors (This was in response to their claim that they had not deleted my post (which they had, or at least moved it to an obscure and inaccessible forum) and my response that neither I, nor 'anyone else' could read it/find it.)
Neither are you. Publication of your book was discontinued due to
lack of sales, under Par. 24 of your contract. The discontinuation
notice is in the mail. If it has not reached you yet, it must be
because you reside on another side of the globe which may or may not
be the reason why you come across lately as if you're from a
different planet altogether.

We will ship your hardcover copy to you by surface mail.

Please consider this our final correspondence.

Incidentally, all their other emails (when they finally deigned to reply - possibly was because I eventually cc'd the Prather woman in, thus making myself even more of a nuisance) were in the same sarcastic, rude and ignorant vein.

Ah me, persistence sometimes pays...

Please forgive me if this is posted in the incorrect place - I am quite overcome with happiness and giddy with success!

I want a job where I can insult customers.

Gillhoughly · Aug 22, 2009

Aw, she's not even warmed up with that bit of mildness. Try her after she's had her coffee.

From the Little Coffee Shop of Horrors. (Actually, their stuff is QUITE yummy!)

And just for a straight record, she didn't get the criminal record for being rude and crazy (or we'd all be in jail for that!

) but charged with seven counts of harassment (not of PA victims, not yet) and tampering with evidence. I find it amusing that her own public defender declared he couldn't defend her because she'd misled him.

Her getting a job at PA is one of those partnerships in hell that sometimes happens on a planet with almost seven billion humans bumping around its surface. Sooner or later something awful happens.

Dear PA Lurkers--do you really need this person in charge of your literary career?

"As for marketing to the author, Prather said, there's "no pressure on our authors to buy their books. That would make us a vanity press."

BING-BING-BING! That's the clue train!! All 'board!

Hey, InfoMonster, what do you call those weekly e-mails urging writers to buy-buy-buy so they can "have copies on hand"? The only marketing PA ever does is to their own ~~writers~~ victims.

No pressure? Who are you kidding? No one here on AW, that's for danged sure.

So, dear lurkers--how many reminders to "stock up" have you had THIS month?

Sheesh, I bet you get less spam from porn sites.

Sorry about hijacking the thread. Please return to all regularly scheduled celebrations of freedom from the clutches of PA.

AndreaUKA · Aug 23, 2009

After all that, you'd think she'd want to crawl under a rock and hide for the rest of her life, wouldn't you, not make it her mission to screw people's lives up. I knew about the WIKI article, but the rest also makes very interesting reading.

Another amusing development in my saga, was that two days before the delightful email telling me I was (shock,horror!) no longer a PA author, I had sent off a registered letter to them, informing them that as soon as my contract ended (in a few months) I would consider our agreement terminated. So, alas, they were too late

Gillhoughly · Aug 23, 2009

LOL-- you did the classic "You can't fire me--I quit!" scenario.

High five!

I bet she looked up your file and saw the expiration was looming and thought a last little dig would flatten you.

HAH!

Again, what a mean, sad, and loveless bit of walking misery she must be if that kind of cruel pettiness gives her pleasure. I don't know how she can stand herself.

But all the craziness with those charges and her lawyer. Off her meds, anyone?

James D. Macdonald · Aug 23, 2009

Did someone say Robert Fletcher? Bouncing Bobby has sold at least one book to PublishAmerica.

I wonder what he did with his $0.15 commission?

PA and Bouncing Bobby are made for each other. Hey, Bobby! How much of a challenge was it selling that book to PA? Did you have to use your Looking For Now Database? Make a lot of long, schmoozing phone calls with Miranda to pitch your top properties?

Tell us all about it!

Jersey Chick · Aug 23, 2009

Gotta love the logic that other side of the globe = other planet.

Bravo, Miranda... Really.. /sarcasm

But yay for getting your book back!

AndreaUKA · Aug 31, 2009

Quick update: I actually received the hardback copy 2 days ago, so the veiled threat of it taking years to arrive, as they were sending it 'surface mail' fell somewhat flat.

Still no sign, however, of the 'termination of contract' letter they were supposed to send me, or an answer to the 'termination of contract' letter I sent them (requesting a confirmation)

I'll give 'em another week...

Kaji · Aug 31, 2009

Yea, I just got an email from PA. It was a royalty statement of $0.00. This is funny considering several family members purchased a copy through the PA website. I really don't mind, it saves me from cashing a .20 check, though.....burning it would have been a hoot!!

DaveKuzminski · Sep 1, 2009

Always cash a PA check. Burning or framing it only leaves PA with more of your money.

Unbounded joy!

Old Pro (so to speak)

starting over

Old Pro (so to speak)

haz a shiny new book cover

nothing simple here

Terri Coop has been known to write

Writer is as Writer does

Old Pro (so to speak)

I grow my own catnip

Grumpy writer and editor

Old Pro (so to speak)

What happened?

Writing! Writing! Writing!

Mah tale iz draggin.

What happened?

Comic guy

Grumpy writer and editor

Old Pro (so to speak)

Grumpy writer and editor

Your Genial Uncle

Up all night to get Loki

Old Pro (so to speak)

Former "Happy-Dammit" Author

Preditors & Editors