What do you tell your kids?

Thomas_Anderson · Aug 10, 2009

What do you tell your kids if they ask what you do, or what you write? You can only avoid the issue for so long.

And while ideally one should be eighteen when they buy books of this nature, what would you do if somehow you minor offsprings somehow managed to get their hands on a copy?

ELMontague · Aug 10, 2009

Well, the birds and the bees discussion will happen at some point, but I'm betting this is more a fantasy vs. reality discussion. For some of my stuff it would be.

My kids know that I write. My eight year old says I write sexy stuff. I don't think he really knows what that means, but it won't be long.

When it's time, I'll tell them the truth and tell them a time line for when it's OK for them to read it. Of course they have a little bit of a lead in with Grandpa, he's a painter. The boys lovingly refer to his house as the booby house.

Ruth2 · Aug 10, 2009

My kids are grown so it's no big deal. However had I been writing anything erotic when they were younger (i.e. underage), it wouldn't have bothered me if they read what I wrote. That being said, they grew up knowing my writing was sacrosanct and no one-- and I mean no one-- touched my computer.

Besides, when they were younger I wrote plays that were performed in churches. Not a lot of scandal there.

thethinker42 · Aug 10, 2009

My kids are cats. They don't care what Mommy's writing, they care why Mommy isn't topping off their food dishes for the 12th time since lunch.

Wayne K · Aug 11, 2009

I didn't have kids for this exact reason.

KimJo · Aug 11, 2009

My kids have been told that I write stuff they aren't allowed to read. I had to tell them that because they were used to me plugging away at myriad YA manuscripts, and I had to let them know that I'd switched gears a little. They're 14 and 11 now- just had birthdays- and so they do understand the concept of explicit sex. Especially my 14-year-old, who got caught with a slew of hentai and porn sites on her school-issued laptop when she was 12...

She's a little irritated that I won't let her read my erotic stuff, because she loves my writing in general, but I've told her she has to wait till she's 18 because that's the "industry standard". lol The 11-year-old doesn't care one way or the other; she hasn't even read any of my YA stuff, and she still thinks romance and sex are "icky."

Maryn · Aug 11, 2009

My kids are now grown--and don't much care what I write. When they were small, the party line was exactly the same as it was for the suspense I write some of the time: I write stories that are for grown-ups.

I'd be less bothered to have my kids (or other family members) know that I write erotica than to know the details of its nature. Unlike any other form of fiction I've ever tried, erotica's source is not merely my imagination but deeply personal fantasies.

Nobody suspects suspense writers really want to take innocents and put them in peril or harm them outright, but everybody suspects--often rightly--that erotica writers would consider trying out what they write.

Maryn, who'd want to lose some weight first, and work on agility

Marcus · Aug 11, 2009

I haven't had the interest yet to test the water with erotica.. If/when i do, I have a feeling i wouldn't want my kids reading it... just because it would be some pretty explicit stuff i'd imagine.. on that note though... I would have to stand by the piece of work and hope that it wasn't just smutt...

MargueriteMing · Aug 12, 2009

Thomas_Anderson said:
What do you tell your kids if they ask what you do, or what you write? You can only avoid the issue for so long.

And while ideally one should be eighteen when they buy books of this nature, what would you do if somehow you minor offsprings somehow managed to get their hands on a copy?

You could try telling them you write Napoleonic History.

Marcus · Aug 12, 2009

MargueriteMing said:
You could try telling them you write Napoleonic History.

That made me laugh, but I see what your saying, Really wouldn't work on this teenage mind.(when I was a Teen). I Love history..

Romantic Heretic · Aug 12, 2009

No kids so no problem.

Thomas_Anderson · Aug 13, 2009

And you never intend on changing that no kids thing?

dnic · Aug 13, 2009

Should I ever spawn a few, it'll still be a few years until they could comprehend it.

I'm sure I'll be able to think of something by then. Probably something like: "Yes, erotica. Nope, you can't read it yet. Ask me in a few years." And chances are in a few years, they wouldn't want to read the things that I write.

thethinker42 · Aug 13, 2009

Romantic Heretic said:
No kids so no problem.

AMEN!

Thomas_Anderson said:
And you never intend on changing that no kids thing?

Not directed at me, but I'll answer anyway: NEVER.

MargueriteMing · Aug 14, 2009

You could also try "You can read it when you're 40. I'll be dead by then."

Selah March · Aug 14, 2009

I tell them that the books I write (and read) are an adult privilege, much like drinking alcohol, driving a car, and staying up past two on a school night. At 12 and 14, they seem fine with that -- mostly because they're leading happy, satisfying, busy little lives of their own and don't yet feel the need to dabble in the "forbidden."

I know this will change, probably sooner than later. I'm okay with that. I think keeping secrets and telling lies -- even well-intentioned ones -- compromises relationships a lot more than the average "dirty book," even if Mommy happened to write it.

Charisma Knight · Sep 17, 2009

My nine year old saw that I had a book published on LASR/WC. She saw the name and was like, "Oh mommy, that isn't you." I told her, yup, that's me! I told her I write under a pseudonym. She was upset, wanted to know why I did not have my real name on the book cover. I told her I will explain when she is older.

Satori1977 · Sep 28, 2009

Selah March said:
I tell them that the books I write (and read) are an adult privilege, much like drinking alcohol, driving a car, and staying up past two on a school night. At 12 and 14, they seem fine with that -- mostly because they're leading happy, satisfying, busy little lives of their own and don't yet feel the need to dabble in the "forbidden."

I know this will change, probably sooner than later. I'm okay with that. I think keeping secrets and telling lies -- even well-intentioned ones -- compromises relationships a lot more than the average "dirty book," even if Mommy happened to write it.

Couldn't agree more with this post. I have two young kids, one is 6 and one is 2. I have had the first (of many, I'm sure) bird and bees talk with my 6 year old daughter. Very basic stuff. She is much too young to talk about erotic writings with, and would not understand anyway. And my two year old, he hasn't figured out to stop throwing things yet! If I am lucky enough to get published, we will talk about it when they are older (preteens), and I will explain why they are too young to read it. But I don't plan on lying to them. Even with how young my daughter is now, if she asks an honest question, I give her an honest answer.

What do you tell your kids?

Thomas_Anderson

ELMontague

Ruth2

Tam, na Koncu Drevoreda

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Wayne K

KimJo

Outside the box, with the werewolves

Maryn

I Tried

Marcus

sept 5th and I'm Out

MargueriteMing

Marcus

sept 5th and I'm Out

Romantic Heretic

uncoerced

Thomas_Anderson

dnic

Resident Lurker

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

MargueriteMing

Selah March

Charisma Knight

I Luv Erotica

Satori1977

Listening to the Voices In My Head