Newb here, but I have a dilemma in regards to a YA UF and would love your opinion

Phinxy · Jul 26, 2009

Hi everyone!

I am new, so please be gentle.

I've been reading the forum for awhile, but never actually posted until now. The reason is because I need help and I am hoping for some opinions here.

Here's my problem:
I've been working on a YA Urban Fantasy novel for the past year and a half. Originally, my main character was male. There was a love story, but it was just a sub plot. Not even a sub plot, more like a sub-sub plot.
It could just be my query letters, but I got nothing but rejections. Not even one partial request. Boo.

So recently, I re-wrote it to star a female main character (but left the main plot the same). I guess seeing the trends, I thought this would be a good choice. I also wove in a love story (also trend) with another character, an angel. But mine are not from heaven or anything like that. I created a whole new, quite detailed mythology. There's really nothing even in common except wings and the term "angel."

I was feeling good about the revised manuscript, until I started reading more threads. Now, angels are the out thing already! So now I'm stuck. There are good/bad in both versions. I don't know if I should stick with the original story with the male main character or go with the new one with the female. And if I do go with the female, should I put in the query letter that my angels are different? I read around, I think most angels are still traditional, from heaven, or a guardian angel. But agents might be turned off just because there's the term "angel" in it, and they're way sick of it. But then again, maybe they'd be intrigued because it's a new twist!

As for the male version, I'm afraid it might not attract female readers as much since the love story is not a major plot. But the angels in that version are less important, so it might have a better chance if agents are looking for a fresher idea.

So I really need help on this. I don't know which direction to go and I honestly only have a handful of agents left that I didn't query. I really gotta get this right.

I think I have a truly original plot that I haven't seen yet, so I don't want to give up on the story and have 1 1/2 years of work down the drain.

Any comments would be MUCH appreciated.
Thank you!

(Sorry that took so long to explain).

kaitlin008 · Jul 26, 2009

First of all, if your angels have nothing in common with any other angels you know of except the name, is it possible to call them something else?

Second, love stories don't have to be huge for a book to be good.

Getting beta readers would help you a lot at this point, IMO. They will tell you what's good and what's bad, and that will give you a better impression of what you should do than I can. It's also worth posting your query in the SYW section of the forum, because if you didn't even get partial requests, then your query is probably at least part of the problem.

AND most importantly, if it doesn't work out getting an agent for this particular story, that doesn't mean you've wasted a year and a half of work. Keep it on the back burner, and start working on something else.

Or wait, this might be more important than the thing I just said: writing to the trends (as you said you did by changing it to a female MC and adding a more prominant love story) is not a good idea. Write what you want to write. Trends change.

Rachel · Jul 26, 2009

I agree with Kaitlin. You can possibly call them something other than angels? If it really is a problem with agents, and they really aren't "angels," it isn't worth keeping the name and having your story not get the attention it deserves.

suki · Jul 26, 2009

I second Kailin008, find some beta readers or post in the Share Your Work forum for some crits.

Writing for toward the trends is usually a gamble, and unless you are already a very skilled writer, usually doesn't work out.

At this point you need to focus on working toward the best manuscript you are capable of writing, rather than trends. Trends only really come in if all other things are equal, ie, you have two equally good manuscripts, which would be better to shop first...

But if you aren't getting requests even, it may be your query. So, my advice:

Start in Share Your Work and the beta forum getting some critical reads of the manuscript(s) - frankly, focus on the one you think is better written and with more engaging characters and plot, the one you are more engaged with.

Then, once the manuscript is submission ready, head over to the Query letters part of SYW and work on a query.

And if this book isn't working, write something new.

good luck.

~suki

Wark · Jul 26, 2009

In my first book that will probably never get published or even queried, the angels are Messengers from I AM THAT I AM. And my sketchy characters do not like when they come around. Angel is just a transliteration for messenger in Greek [or Latin.]

What you have is a Mothman.

Sage · Jul 26, 2009

Or a fairy

Agree about writing to trends. Not a very good idea. Furthermore, the market has lots of books with female protags, but agents and editors are supposedly always on the lookout for a good "boy book" (which apparently requires a boy protag).

I might get betas for both versions and see which resonates better with people.

Phinxy · Jul 26, 2009

Thanks Kaitlin, Rachel, Suki, and Sage (my goodness Sage! 34,637 posts! Nice!

)
Your comments will definitely point me in the right direction.
Maybe I should call the angel something else... good idea!

This might sound like a dumb question, but when I tried to enter the SYW area, it asked for a password? Am I doing something wrong?

And Wark, Mothman, LOL I like that.

Sage · Jul 26, 2009

Password is "vista." It's so it's ungoogleable, so you can argue it's not published after you post it.

Raynfall · Jul 26, 2009

I'd like to agree with the point about writing to trends; by the time you're done, the trend has changed.

Momento Mori · Jul 27, 2009

Hi, Phinxy, and welcome to AW!

Phinxy:
I was feeling good about the revised manuscript, until I started reading more threads. Now, angels are the out thing already! So now I'm stuck. There are good/bad in both versions. I don't know if I should stick with the original story with the male main character or go with the new one with the female. And if I do go with the female, should I put in the query letter that my angels are different? I read around, I think most angels are still traditional, from heaven, or a guardian angel. But agents might be turned off just because there's the term "angel" in it, and they're way sick of it. But then again, maybe they'd be intrigued because it's a new twist!

I agree with what kaitlin008 has said. Given that your angels are different to the traditional depiction, then unless you're specifically targeting the Christian market, I'd personally look at giving them a completely different name and if possible, playing with the mythology a bit.

If changing their name and mythology simply isn't doable for your manuscript, then I don't see the harm in keeping them as angels. As others have said, there's little point in worrying about whether you're writing on trend or not. A good manuscript with an original story well told will always get a bite from a good agent and publisher.

If it helps, the background mythology to my YA UF relates to a war between angels and demons for influence over the human race and my plot is a twist on the traditional quest story. The way I've tried to make it different is to focus on the pawns on the war (including shapeshifters who have special abilities and souped up humans with super-speed and agility but a tendency to go beserker) as seen through the eyes of a teenage girl who accidentally becomes involved in their world.

If I'm being honest then there's nothing inherently 'on trend' or completely original within my manuscript, but what seemed to get the attention of agents was the way I've tried to spin traditional elements, the stories that I'm focusing on and the way I'm telling it.

Phinxy:
I honestly only have a handful of agents left that I didn't query. I really gotta get this right.

The mistake that far too many writers make is to get caught up in trying to get their first manuscript published. As the other posters here have said, if you're not having any luck with your queries then it could be that you need to work on your query letter. However, if you get to the end of the line and for whatever reason you still don't have an agent, then the best thing you can do is start working on a completely new project. Sometimes people are just unlucky with their first manuscript - it could be well written and truly original but it's been queried at the wrong time. If you've finished a second manuscript that does get picked up by an agent and they ask if you've got anything else they can take a look at, then you can always show them your first one and see if they're interested.

MM

Phinxy · Jul 27, 2009

Thanks for your advice, MM! And the warm welcome

I think you make several valid points which will definitely help me along the way.
I really like AW! Honestly, with everyone's comments, I feel better already.
I was a complete wreck yesterday. Haha.

Could I ask MM, what you tried to focus on in your query?
Your YA UF sounds like an interesting, complex story, how did you choose what to showcase in the query? Was condensing it hard?

Momento Mori · Jul 28, 2009

Phinxy:
Could I ask MM, what you tried to focus on in your query?
Your YA UF sounds like an interesting, complex story, how did you choose what to showcase in the query? Was condensing it hard?

Querying in the UK is slightly different to querying in the US. The way that most people seem to recommend you do it in the UK is to do:

1. a cover letter with (a) one paragraph introducing your novel (i.e. title, genre and word count); (b) one paragraph setting out the hook of your story (c) one paragraph setting out the market you're aiming at (e.g. it's aimed at 13 year olds who like the work of X and Y) and (d) one paragraph giving some background information on you (e.g. writing credits, pertinent career information (if any) etc); and

2. a one or two page synopsis setting out the main plot of your novel.

Most YA/children's agents in the UK seem to ask for a one page synopsis and I found that an absolute pig to do because I've got three main POV characters who run different stories before coming together.

The way I ended up doing it was to tie the synopsis in with my hook so that I focused on 2 of the POV characters and unveiled what their journey was, but focusing only on the big plot points and central dilemma.

My synopsis went through something like 8 or 9 drafts and I had people in my MA class and a couple of professional writers I know take a look at it before sending it out. It also helped that I went to a writing retreat and showed it to a commissioning editor who told me that I had too much information in there as to how my world operated, whereas what editors and agents want is a run down of the dilemma and how that dilemma gets resolved. Basically, the idea is to distil your plot as much as possible into something that someone who has no knowledge of your writing can easily follow.

MM

Newb here, but I have a dilemma in regards to a YA UF and would love your opinion

Phinxy

kaitlin008

Seeing newness all the time

Rachel

Stuff and nonsense.

suki

Opinionated

Wark

Mark Brockman

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Phinxy

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Raynfall

Momento Mori

Tired and Disillusioned

Phinxy

Momento Mori

Tired and Disillusioned