Do these need commas?

Kathleen42 · Jul 21, 2009

They've hired a new marketing guy at work and he's just sent me some copy for a brochure. I keep staring at it and wondering if commas are needed in some of the sentences. Two samples:

With a click of your mouse you make a purchase and wait for it to arrive.

But if you are not at home your parcel is often left unprotected on your doorstep or returned to the courier depot.

Any help would be appreciated. Sometimes I tend to be comma happy and there are so many sentences in the copy he gave me like the two above that I'm second guessing myself.

Maryn · Jul 21, 2009

I'd add a few commas to your examples. The first adds clarity and may be optional, but the second separates the dependent clause from the independent clause and is therefore required.

Kathleen42 said:
With a click of your mouse, you make a purchase and wait for it to arrive.

But if you are not at home, your parcel is often left unprotected on your doorstep or returned to the courier depot.

Maryn, also comma-happy

Kathleen42 · Jul 21, 2009

Maryn said:
I'd add a few commas to your examples. The first adds clarity and may be optional, but the second separates the dependent clause from the independent clause and is therefore required.

Maryn, also comma-happy

Thanks Maryn. That's what I thought but there were so many similar sentences in the copy he gave me that I started to second guess myself.

Dawnstorm · Jul 21, 2009

Definitely the second comma (for the reason Maryn stated).

I do think the first one's optional, and I'd opt out. Here's why:

[With a click of your mouse][sub]1[/sub] [you make a purchase][sub]2[/sub] and [(you) wait for it to arrive][sub]3[/sub].

The comma reinforces the reading: (1) --> (2 + 3)

But semantically (1) is only tied to (2): "You make a purchase with the click of the mouse + You wait for the purchase to arrive." The mouse-click has nothing to do with the waiting part.

Semantically, a more meaningful comma would be:

With a click of your mouse you make a purchase, and wait for it to arrive.

But that's syntactically awkward, since "you" is a joint subject and the comma separates the subject from its verb. A comma shouldn't separate the subject from its verb, if you can help it.

With a click of your mouse you make a purchase, and you wait for it to arrive.

Makes syntactic and semantic change - but loses stylistic vitality by an added pause and a repeated "you". (Subjective impression alert.)

So basically I'd either leave the sentence as it is, or I'd re-write it entirely. I wouldn't add a comma, though, for the reason I stated above.

Kathleen42 · Jul 21, 2009

Thanks Dawnstorm! I hadn't thought of it that way.

Do these need commas?

Kathleen42

crushing on fictional characters

Maryn

I Tried

Kathleen42

crushing on fictional characters

Dawnstorm

punny user title, here

Kathleen42

crushing on fictional characters