Music at a Wedding Reception

DeleyanLee · Jul 16, 2009

I admit this is a very small bit in something I'm playing with, but I suddenly didn't know if there was a difference here.

My experience with wedding receptions has been Midwest white people's wedding. The music selected for the couple's dancing is the boring stereotypical We've Only Just Begun by the Carpenters, lots of Barry Manilow and such, with the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance being big favorites for reasons I'll never understand.

My hero is attending an Afro-American wedding reception (in NYC if that makes a difference). Is the types of music/songs played there different?

katiemac · Jul 16, 2009

Oh god I hope so. If I ever have to go to a wedding again and hear the chicken dance I might kick the DJ.

Here's my question for you: Would the married couple be the type to hire a DJ, a wedding band, or screw it all and play their own music?

It's not that uncommon anymore for people to rent some speakers and use their iPod for a playlist.

In essence - it doesn't matter. You can have them listen to whatever music they want.

Kurtz · Jul 16, 2009

Baby Got Back.

Not racist goddamnit.

RainyDayNinja · Jul 16, 2009

Also consider: Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, some kind of limbo song. And I hope it's not racist of me to suggest there would be more rap/hip-hop dancing songs than usual.

If these aren't well-developed characters getting married, so that you have an idea of their tastes, then I would just stick to the songs that everybody HAS to play.

SPMiller · Jul 16, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
Midwest white people's wedding. The music selected for the couple's dancing is the boring stereotypical We've Only Just Begun by the Carpenters, lots of Barry Manilow and such, with the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance being big favorites for reasons I'll never understand.

My (white) sister is getting married soon (to a white guy). It'll be a pagan ceremony, and the reception playlist will likely include punk rock, heavy metal, and country songs. I specifically heard the Chicken Dance will not be played--and good thing, too. I hate that fucking song.

You can definitely think outside the box these days.

SPMiller · Jul 16, 2009

RainyDayNinja said:
Also consider: Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, some kind of limbo song. And I hope it's not racist of me to suggest there would be more rap/hip-hop dancing songs than usual.

Sorry to disappoint you, but that does sound racist. Rap and hip hop are popular amongst whites. For example, when my high school best friend got married a few years back, I remember hearing plenty of rap and hip hop at the reception. All the older folks walked out immediately, and the twentysomethings stayed.

World ain't the same anymore.

bagels · Jul 16, 2009

katiemac said:
Oh god I hope so. If I ever have to go to a wedding again and hear the chicken dance I might kick the DJ.

Here's my question for you: Would the married couple be the type to hire a DJ, a wedding band, or screw it all and play their own music?

It's not that uncommon anymore for people to rent some speakers and use their iPod for a playlist.

In essence - it doesn't matter. You can have them listen to whatever music they want.

I think this is spot on. The type of music they pick is quite reflective of the couple's personality. I went to two weddings last year where the bride and groom were demographically similar (middle class suburbia formative yeas, college educated, etc.) but the choice of music was drastically different between the two: one was a live band that did nothing but old pop standards and the other was a DJ where, other than a couple of songs, the wedding guests requested music.

Canotila · Jul 16, 2009

I'd just go with the character's tastes, and use that kind of music. People don't much do music by ethnicity. African american couples would be just as likely to have rap as they would classical music. People are individuals.

Something to ask is who is arranging the reception. Sometimes moms and aunts bully their way into picking the DJ and playlist. Are your characters the type to let that sort of thing happen? My husband had a big shouting match with his mom over what kind of music would be played at ours.

We ended up having a mariachi band earlier in the evening, so that was pretty awesome and the old folks liked it. Later was a lot of hip hop and break dancing.

DeleyanLee · Jul 17, 2009

Thanks, everyone.

I was married to an Afro-American 20-odd years ago, but we eloped so there was no wedding reception. His sister married a white man and his family arranged for the playlist, so I had no idea. When I went to write the scene, it felt very weird to have the bridal couple dancing to the Carpenters, which I've seen too many times in the wedding of my own kith and kin (all white).

I appreciate all the help.

hammerklavier · Jul 17, 2009

SPMiller said:
Sorry to disappoint you, but that does sound racist. Rap and hip hop are popular amongst whites. For example, when my high school best friend got married a few years back, I remember hearing plenty of rap and hip hop at the reception. All the older folks walked out immediately, and the twentysomethings stayed.

World ain't the same anymore.

That doesn't sound racist. Yes, rap & hip hop are popular among young whites, but they are certainly not unpopular among young african americans.

You must also consider whether they are trying to please the older folks at the wedding or are they doing their own thing.

rhutch · Jul 21, 2009

I've worked for the last few years at a catering company, and have attended a ton of weddings. For me, the African-American stand-bys are Al Green and Ray Charles. Lately, John Legend is getting a lot of play as well. As then night goes on, Aretha still always makes an appearance at everyone's wedding. If you want to go a little more modern, Usher, Beyonce, and Justin Timberlake seek to go over safely. No one can ever escape the hustle either.

Hope this helps

StephanieFox · Jul 23, 2009

Not an African-American wedding, but ethnic:

At our Jewish/Pagan wedding, we had a Klezmer band (post dinner) and everyone danced wildly. After about an hour of this, we switched to a DJ who played rock and roll dance music and that was much less popular.

At the appetizer part of the reception just after the ceremony and before dinner, the same band played 1940s big band and other music of that era. I love that stuff. During dinner, we had a piano player.

The two most important things for me for the wedding were music and food. We had wine, but Jews usually don't drink much. (Pagans do, though.)

Music at a Wedding Reception

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist

katiemac

Five by Five

Kurtz

Fix up, look sharp.

RainyDayNinja

SPMiller

Prodigiously Hanged

SPMiller

Prodigiously Hanged

bagels

Wannabe Intellectual

Canotila

Sever your leg please.

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist

hammerklavier

It was a dark and stormy night

rhutch

StephanieFox

Maybull the Bulldog