STD Tests

[SFLP]

OK, here's kind of a weird informational question:

I was playing with an idea for a story for this week's practice exercise. (Well, we'll hope. It's my busy time, and I'm working about 70 per week, now through mid September.)

I've been in a monogamous relationship for 19 years, and it just isn't an issue, so I don't have a clue. I grew up in a time where people almost NEVER wore condoms. I wasn't even sure how one was worn until I hit about 25. The only time we were tested for something is we were having symptoms. But I have a story idea partly based on a STD tests.

What do the tests actually test for? How long does it take to get test results back? How are they done for a woman? Just a PAP? How about a guy? How accurate are they? Am I asking the wrong questions?

Strange question, I know, but I don't have a clue, and trying to do a Google search about something you know virtually nothing about is...tough. :)

Thanks for any enlightenment.

J.

[ELMontague]

I grew up with AIDS and the rest of it. I've been tested three times, once in the clinic at college, once in the clinic in my hometown and once by the family doctor. They all went about the same.

They don't take that long. Blood test, cotton swab in the urethra (which sucks), and basic conditional check with the tried and true hold-and-cough method. Some of the answers are near instant the rest take about a week. To my understanding they are very accurate.

I'll be really disturbed if a nurse in the group says the urethra swab is bullshit.

Truthfully, the hardest part is being wigged out about the whole thing. And in a weird twist, I was much more comfortable with the women that tested me than the man. Go figure.

[Thomas_Anderson]

Do they really shove a cotton swab up your penis? Is it as painful as I imagine it being?

[thethinker42]

Do they really shove a cotton swab up your penis? Is it as painful as I imagine it being?

Yes, they do, and I can always tell which of my male friends have had it by who squirms the most if you mention it. Seriously, I have yet to see one of my friends mention it without shuddering.

[AngelaA]

Blood tests looking for specific things...urine tests looking for others...doesn't take long, a few weeks, and you can request a print out of the results.

[SFLP]

And in a weird twist, I was much more comfortable with the women that tested me than the man. Go figure.

I'm the same way with pelvic exams. For some reason, female doctors make me uncomfortable.

J.

[SFLP]

Thanks, guys.

Boy, I think I'm glad I grew up when I did. lol. The big question was whether or not a woman was on the pill/had an IUD/whatever.

I'm thinking about writing a practice story called "Bareback" for the "Contemporary: Urban" practice, and just didn't have a clue what was involved with those tests.

[firedrake]

Had to be tested for STDs as part of medical exam for our green cards.
They draw blood, send it to a lab and it takes a few days.
My test came back with a false positive for Syphillis so I had to get bloods taken again...it only took about three days second time around. Apparently, it's quite common for syphillis test results to come back as a false positive.

[Thomas_Anderson]

Yes, they do, and I can always tell which of my male friends have had it by who squirms the most if you mention it. Seriously, I have yet to see one of my friends mention it without shuddering.

Now that's the kind of thing they should teach you in sex ed. This alone would scare most guys into abstinence, or at least into a condom.

[thethinker42]

Now that's the kind of thing they should teach you in sex ed. This alone would scare most guys into abstinence, or at least into a condom.

No kidding. Anything that can make a grown man whimper in terror - especially a Marine - should be mentioned. lol

[5bcarnies]

A few years ago I walked into a Planned Parenthood to get tested for HIV. They swabbed the side of my mouth, put it into a sterile container and baggy and sent it off. It was the longest week of my life. Thankfully the result was a good one and I was clean. But it was nice and simple. Aside from the anxiety of waiting for the result.

[SFLP]

I think this discussion makes me happy that I'm female. In my lifetime, the only thing I ever had to be tested for was GH, and had it come out positive, they would have simply given me some antibiotics.

Over the years I've had many gay friends, several of them with AIDS (and most of those are now dead). I just can't imagine it, being young and equating any kind of sex with death.

This has been a more interesting topic that I had anticipated, at least for me.

J.

[Scott Cole]

What the hell are they looking for with a cotton swab up your dick? Gonorrhea?

[SFLP]

What the hell are they looking for with a cotton swab up your dick? Gonorrhea?

lmao - thanks for asking. I was squeamish about asking my husband about this, but was still very curious.

Guys?

J.

[Kurtz]

Do they really shove a cotton swab up your penis? Is it as painful as I imagine it being?

It's a lot smaller than a regular cotton swab. Still hurts like crap though, or so I'm told (and I really didn't have to be told but thanks anyway Steve)

[thethinker42]

What the hell are they looking for with a cotton swab up your dick? Gonorrhea?

Yes, gonorrhea.

[2Wheels]

Actually cotton is toxic to N. gonorroheae, as I recall. The swab is actually dacron.
Anyhow, STD testing;
HIV: blood test screen for antibody (sensitive, but not specific). If positive they confirm by Western Blot (also on blood, specific).
Hepatitis: blood test for antibody, or antigen (the actual virus).
Chlamydia and Gonorrohea: cervical/urethral swab or urine test. There are self collection kits available nowadays. DNA probe test for presence of organism. Culture also available.
Syphilis: blood test
HPV: not sure, think it's still cytopathology (cervical smear)
HSV: culture by means of swab of active lesions, or by blood test for antibody (but that won't differentiate between HSV 1 and 2).
Trichomonas: wet prep of vaginal smear, but often seen in urine.
Gardnerella: culture or gram stain of direct smear.

Can't think of any others ....

[Scott Cole]

Well, that was very thorough 2Wheels.

Thanks (even though the OP wasn't mine). Have fun with that Long Post!

[SFLP]

Thanks (even though the OP wasn't mine). Have fun with that Long Post!

Yep, pretty thorough. A lot more thorough than I need for my story, actually, but I'm always up for learning something new. It'll all make more sense when/if I write this story. It's one of those way hard to explain concepts - lol.

When I was researching I read that the only test for HPV (unless lesions are actually showing) right now is a DNA test of some sort, really expensive, and never done.

I finally broached the swab topic with my husband. Got halfway through the explanation and he said "Ouch! Shit! Yeah, I've done that. Thanks for reminding me."

lol.

2wheels, that was detailed enough that I might try to work it into the story. Part of the point is the time it takes to get results back. I'll have to look it up for those.

Thanks!

J.