Calling All MILFs and Cougars :D Need advice on seduction scene

dgiharris · Jul 11, 2009

See update Post 35

I'm currently writing a story in which a younger man (23 yr old athlete) is trying to seduce a 39 yr old woman.

Background: She is the prim and proper type just recently seperated due to her cheating husband.

Question:

I have the basic structure of the story down, now all that's left is the details.

I'd like the story to 'feel real'.

So I ask the question. You are at a hotel bar, what does that younger man need to say, do, demonstrate to get you up to his room?

What are some definite turn ons?

What are some definite turn offs?

I'm looking for any and all input, whether it directly relates to the story or not. I've been on the male side of this (I was studly once

) but i'd like to try to get into that all elusive 'female mind' and I need your help. Any and all input helps.

Thanks for taking the time.

Mel...

alleycat · Jul 11, 2009

(If you don't know what an MILF is, just ask, I'm sure the OP would be glad to explain it. ;-)

Cranky · Jul 11, 2009

Well, I'm not claiming either title

, but my girlie sense tells me that the biggest thing he can do is to just be very appreciative of what she's got, so to speak. If she's separated from her husband because he cheated on her, she's going to be feeling pretty insecure, I think, even if she's as mad at her husband as he deserves, lol.

Nothing creepy, but just sincere appreciation would probably be a biggie.

YAwriter72 · Jul 11, 2009

Smile. A really nice sexy smile would reel me in.(I have a particular look in a guy that I am drawn to and all he'd have to do would be to smile at me) Yeah, I'm easy. :tongue

No cheesy pick up lines. That would kill it.

dgrintalis · Jul 11, 2009

I'm not claiming either title, either, but Cranky is spot-on. Her insecurity will be raging. If he talks to her like she's a person, an interesting person, she will feel comfortable. And since hubby cheated on her, she is, no doubt, feeling very insecure about her sexuality. She might have something to prove to herself in that arena and a young guy would be the perfect thing.

When I split up with my first husband (who cheated on me), I dated a few younger men and yes, um, they were helpful.

dgrintalis · Jul 11, 2009

Turn-ons: listening to her, touching her hand (that one gets me), brushing a stray lock of her hair off her shoulder (another good one)
Turn-offs: being arrogant, more concerned with talking about himself, checking out other women when they walk by

I think if he makes her feel like she's the only women in the room, he's golden.

Cranky · Jul 11, 2009

dgrintalis said:
Turn-ons: listening to her, touching her hand (that one gets me), brushing a stray lock of her hair off her shoulder (another good one)
Turn-offs: being arrogant, more concerned with talking about himself, checking out other women when they walk by

I think if he makes her feel like she's the only women in the room, he's golden.

Ding! Attentiveness (but not the annoying, hovering kind), little touches. No groping or grabbing or smacking. Ugh. And please, in the name of all that's holy, NO LIP LICKING!

vixey · Jul 11, 2009

Not MILF material or a Cougar, but I'm in the right age bracket.

Just seconding Cranky and Damien. Caring, sensitive, make her feel like she's special... She's insecure, vulnerable and likely angry. She needs to feel attractive again.

ETA: Oh yeah...that accidental touch...nice.

wannawrite · Jul 11, 2009

No over-the-top come ons. Keep it simple and real. Make her laugh. Genuine compliments. Be. A. Gentleman. Treat her with respect.

jennontheisland · Jul 11, 2009

I'm not claiming either of those titles, but I've been called at least one.

Arrogance isn't always a bad thing, if there's a reason behind it. Women in their 30s know what they like and what they want, and he has to be able to see that, understand it and figure out what she likes/wants. Confidence that he can do that may come off as a bit arrogant, but if he can back it up, he'll be okay.

She's not going to want to go up to his room (or take him up to hers) if she doesn't think he knows what he's doing. The last thing she wants is to get up there and have him fumbling around like a freshman.

Making her laugh is definitely a good thing. Subtle sexy flirtation, nothing overt or over the top. And an absolute appreciation for a more mature body.

dgiharris · Jul 11, 2009

I Knew the lovely ladies of AW would give me what I needed

Absolutely incredible comments ladies.

Everytime one of you says something, another lightbulb goes off in my head with exactly what I need to do with this story.

Thanks for the help and keep the sage advice coming.

BTW, all us males are taking notes

Mel...

rhymegirl · Jul 11, 2009

I think he should rip off his shirt and show his abs of steel.

ETA: Hey, he's supposed to be an athlete, right?

rhymegirl · Jul 11, 2009

Okay, now for a serious answer.

I was mulling this over. You said the "prim and proper" type. My main thought about this is I don't think this kind of woman could be seduced.

Not very easily anyway. If her husband cheated on her, that's already bad for someone like her. She's not likely to be the kind who would go out and do the same thing he did.

So I think you're going to have to make this woman not so prim and proper. She's got to have a bit of fun in her, someone who can be tempted if she is feeling vulnerable.

dolores haze · Jul 11, 2009

Yeah, if she's drinking alone in a hotel bar I wouldn't think she's all that prim and proper. Is she there to drown her sorrows, get some quick, no-strings action or what?

wannawrite · Jul 11, 2009

I will have you all to know that I have been prim, proper AND drunk off my ass on many, many, occasions.

I've also been prim, proper and horny as hell, sober OR drunk. Point is, no matter how much a lady she is...it happens, sometimes, you know?

dgiharris · Jul 11, 2009

Few things,

Perhaps 'Prim and Proper' isn't the right description. She is a do gooder type, great mother and always tries to do the right thing, and has been resented/neglected by her husband... Anyways, not to get too much into this. I plan to post the story next week

and i'll put a link in this thread when that happens.

I want her to be prim and proper enough such that there is sufficient conflict. There are a couple of other themes i'm going to work into the story. All and all, I anticipate this is going to be around 6000 words.

Anyways, thanks for the comments. And oh, yeah, he's an athlete, abs of steel, don't you worry ladies.

The other thing I'm wondering about is adding a racial component, making him black, her white, and going after the forbidden fruit motiff.

When I was younger and studly, one of the reasons why older white women seemed to like me was a combination of forbidden fruit along with the fact that I did not remind them of their teenage sons.

I guess this is how I sorta see this story but I wonder how much of the readership this may turn off. I've grown up mostly in big cities where interracials couples aren't a big deal.

Anyways, i'm babbling now.

Thanks for the comments, keep them coming.

wannawrite said:
I will have you all to know that I have been prim, proper AND drunk off my ass on many, many, occasions. I've also been prim, proper and horny as hell, sober OR drunk. Point is, no matter how much a lady she is...it happens, sometimes, you know?

This is sorta why I want to make this story work. I mean, if she were an adulterous bitch, then big deal right? Plus, we are all human beings with needs.

Mel...

Cranky · Jul 11, 2009

I grew up in small towns, and it wasn't a big deal there either, FWIW. Of course, I was the younger half of that equation, and it was reversed genders, too.

So long as you don't go too far with the prim and proper, I think you'll be okay. (Wannawrite is right (hee)...even us prim and proper types have been known to be drunk and amorous from time to time

)

OTOH, you could have her being prim and proper, but perhaps questioning herself. She needs to be vulnerable, but not too much so, or she'll just come across as desperate and/or trampy, sleeping with the first young hot guy she can out of revenge or something. Fine line to tread.

And now I'm rambling, lol.

Mad Queen · Jul 11, 2009

dgiharris said:
Background: She is the prim and proper type just recently seperated due to her cheating husband.

[...]

So I ask the question. You are at a hotel bar, what does that younger man need to say, do, demonstrate to get you up to his room?

Be whatever her cheating husband wasn't (young and good looking is a great start). Be the alpha male, but not an arsehole. Make her feel like he really, really wants her.

Akuma · Jul 12, 2009

This is research I wouldn't mind testing...

Gary · Jul 12, 2009

acccording to my wife...turn his cap around so the bill is facing forward, pull up his pants and talk like an adult.

Caramia · Jul 12, 2009

Avoid 'rehearsed' lines or false agreeing. "Oh you like that movie? It's MY FAVE!" (Same for foods, drinks, morals, etc) I cannot count how many fellas seem to think that is some golden rule to inspire the gal to think he's so much like her, it's...magic. *gag*

I'd much sooner continue chatting with someone I have nothing in common with but has passionate convictions and doesn't mind a good friendly debate on the topic than the dull likenesses. A sense of self, whether shy, confident or in the middle ground gets points on the sexy meter for me

And please keep him from saying/doing (even the scrutinizing look) anything vulgar if she is a classy gal. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that is a huge turn off for me, does not inspire any want on my end.

Hope that helps and take it as simple opinion

backslashbaby · Jul 13, 2009

Does a 23-year-old Portuguese hotty and a 37-year-old count? I'm your gal, then

He has to act mature. No 23-year-old Frat Boy behavior, at all. All the other things folks said was great. A debate gets me every time, if he has a great smile and is clever. It helps if he lives in Switzerland, has a French accent and loves girls with Southern accents speaking French...

Um, or not

I like it that guys this age think I'm in my late 20's. Whatever that says about characterization. I could certainly see a newly divorced woman wanting to embrace the last remnants of complete and reckless youth... prim or no

Stew21 · Jul 13, 2009

do people actually own up to those titles? I was sure they were titles bestowed. :ROFL:

VeggieChick · Jul 13, 2009

I dated a guy 13 years younger than me. Like backslashbaby said, it helps if you look younger than you are, but in any case, he didn't make me feel any different than any other girl. He chat me up, asked for my phone number, took me out for coffee. He didn't act like a kid either (that would have freaked me out) and we never talked about ages until much later. Neither of us guessed how big the difference was. Nor did his friends. We dated for almost two years, so there was more there than just the initial attraction, which means it can absolutely happen. I never felt like a cougar. He felt like an equal, in every sense.

SPMiller · Jul 13, 2009

Here's what I do: I treat her as a person worthy of respect; I act like myself; and I make my sexual interest clear. This has worked just as well for any woman, whether she's a MILF and/or cougar or not, and the responses in this thread seem to agree with my experience. Of course, my being young and attractive and intelligent doesn't hurt.

/ahem

I will resist the urge to bestow MILF/cougar labels upon anyone in this thread. This requires great force of will, but I will remain discreet

Calling All MILFs and Cougars :D Need advice on seduction scene

Disgruntled Scientist

Still around

someone let me off this crazy ride

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

C'est la vie!

the world is at my command

Disgruntled Scientist

It's a New Year!

It's a New Year!

international guttersnipe

Disgruntled Scientist

California Mountain Snake

Rare Writer Pokemon

Alliteration Afflicted

~~~~*~~~~

Prodigiously Hanged

*