My new serialized short fiction on the pitfalls of publishing.

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Robert E. Keller

Likes heroic fantasy and hot coffee
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Are you asking for a critique? Well, it was somewhat entertaining. You seem have a bit of humor writing in you. However, the tendency is to sometimes carry the analogies too far and the reader is bounced along to various extremes that may come off as annoying. I would suggest toning it down a bit, being a little less witty, if you will. Employ your wittiness as precise, stinging arrows rather than scattershot. Is that helpful?

Let me also add that I like your enthusiasm. I believe that's an important component for success at anything.
 
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hughhowey

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Robert E. Keller said:
Are you asking for a critique? Well, it was somewhat entertaining. You seem have a bit of humor writing in you. However, the tendency is to sometimes carry the analogies too far and the reader is bounced along to various extremes that may come off as annoying. I would suggest toning it down a bit, being a little less witty, if you will. Employ your wittiness as precise, stinging arrows rather than scattershot. Is that helpful?

Let me also add that I like your enthusiasm. I believe that's an important component for success at anything.
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Thanks for the input. And yeah, critique away. I'm being a tad facetious to call it a serialized short story. It's really just a handful of random forum posts that I use as distractions from my editing. Five minutes or so on each with no editing. I assume what's there is rough as hell, I'm certainly not going to go back and re-read it!

Cheers!
 
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