Do some things just not matter?

LOG · Jul 5, 2009

Here's the scenario, two people in the room of an inn(I know classical isn't

), there's a knock on the door and they realize they haven't ordered anything(le gasp! the end of the world has come! :O).
The exact piece of dialogue is
“We did not order anything...”
I haven't made it clear who said that sentence, and I'm wondering if it actually matters who said it? It's not like they're suspicious someone's out there with some poison powder to blow in their faces, it's just a statement. It won't really matter who said it. I don't know, maybe it's just cause I've been oversleeping lately and my mind is starting to whirl off its axle and go flying like a little kid from a wheel-go-round. *faceplant into keyboard, Windows Office makes annoying beeping sound*

Dale Emery · Jul 5, 2009

If it doesn't matter, change something (the characters, the dialogue, the situation) so that it does matter.

Dale

lenore_x · Jul 5, 2009

When I first skimmed over this post, I thought it was like a party with a bunch of (maybe anonymous) people, in which case I would have said it didn't matter. But with only two people, yeah, that's weird to not attribute it. Surely one of your characters is more likely than the other to utter such a statement.

dpaterso · Jul 6, 2009

I must know who said it! Everyone in this inn is under arrest until someone confesses!

-Derek

LOG · Jul 6, 2009

dpaterso said:
I must know who said it! Everyone in this inn is under arrest until someone confesses!

-Derek

Heheheheheh, okay, lol.

NeuroFizz · Jul 6, 2009

Why do they assume it's a delivery person knocking? ("We did not order anything...") I would think the first reaction would be something like, "Who could that be?" Also, there is nothing that gives away the tone of the line of dialogue. Was it said in jest, in anger at being disburbed, in shock or surprise? A little reaction on the part of the person talking will give both the tone of the spoken line and an attribution to who is talking.

Jason kicked his briefcase. "Who the hell could that be?"

Manix · Jul 6, 2009

NeuroFizz said:
Why do they assume it's a delivery person knocking? ("We did not order anything...") I would think the first reaction would be something like, "Who could that be?" Also, there is nothing that gives away the tone of the line of dialogue. Was it said in jest, in anger at being disburbed, in shock or surprise? A little reaction on the part of the person talking will give both the tone of the spoken line and an attribution to who is talking.

Jason kicked his briefcase. "Who the hell could that be?"

Or they quickly stash the "goods" under the bar out of sight and put on their best poker face then commence the above dialogue.

ccv707 · Jul 6, 2009

lenore_x said:
Surely one of your characters is more likely than the other to utter such a statement.

Well...yeah. Most likely, the one who answers the door is going to be the one interacting with the person who knocked. Unless both people answer the door, at which point the scene becomes a little awkward.

You really don't know if it's important who says something like that?

Ultimately, it's not important which character you have saying this particular line, but I'll direct the OP and everyone who has a similar question to the post by NeuroFizz. He says it all.

Matera the Mad · Jul 6, 2009

I would assume that they would assume it was a delivery person because they would assume that no one there knows them and there wouldn't be any other reason...which is why they would be surprised.

(I didn't write that sentence, my Muse did it)

ComicBent · Jul 6, 2009

Who said it?

I haven't made it clear who said that sentence, and I'm wondering if it actually matters who said it?

It does not matter to some people, I am sure, but it drives me crazy to encounter that situation.

maestrowork · Jul 8, 2009

If it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter. Some readers may insist on who says what, but IMHO, as long as it gets the point across and keeps the plot moving, who cares? That makes for snappy dialogue and moves things through quickly.

I have a small section of dialogue between five or six men playing cards, and it was rapid-fire dialogue without attributions. It works fine because it really doesn't matter who says what, but the focus is on what is being said and the Poker scene.

That said, is there a reason why you can't or don't want to attribute the dialogue? Is it too bad to write:

“We did not order anything...” Jack said.

jennifer75 · Jul 8, 2009

If I were watching a movie, with this scene, and heard a voice (while the camera was on the door) say "we did not order anything" - I'd wonder who the hell said it. I'd know, of course, from the voice, but well, you know. I'd want to know!

maestrowork · Jul 8, 2009

jennifer75 said:
If I were watching a movie, with this scene, and heard a voice (while the camera was on the door) say "we did not order anything" - I'd wonder who the hell said it. I'd know, of course, from the voice, but well, you know. I'd want to know!

But does it matter? It has to be one of the two characters? To me, it doesn't matter. It's kind of like in a crowd scene (or a scene where reporters are asking someone questions). To me, it doesn't matter as much who is talking, but more important is what is being said and how it's being said.

Dale Emery · Jul 8, 2009

ComicBent said:
It does not matter to some people, I am sure, but it drives me crazy to encounter that situation.

If the narrator knows who said it, I'd be puzzled (as a reader) about why the narrator didn't tell me. That would bump me out of the story.

I might accept it if the narrator has some reason for not telling me or for not knowing, or has established a pattern of withholding certain information.

Dale

veinglory · Jul 8, 2009

I am not really getting the point of the story or the line, which makes it hard to say whether it matters : /

jennifer75 · Jul 8, 2009

maestrowork said:
But does it matter? It has to be one of the two characters? To me, it doesn't matter. It's kind of like in a crowd scene (or a scene where reporters are asking someone questions). To me, it doesn't matter as much who is talking, but more important is what is being said and how it's being said.

Background voices (in a crowd) and main character voices, are very different and yes, to me it would matter.

jennifer75 · Jul 8, 2009

Dale Emery said:
If the narrator knows who said it, I'd be puzzled (as a reader) about why the narrator didn't tell me. That would bump me out of the story.

Yea.

I may read it as a thought, and assume that it be the MC's.

JRTurner · Jul 8, 2009

I can't tell you how many times I've been interrupted or the author wasn't clear, and I've had to back track through unattributed dialogue to figure out who said what and when. I would say either give it a tag, or make it so it's obvious who's speaking through the dialect or syntax of that character. I mean, if it's:

"Jinkies, we didn't order anything!"

I know who said it

Hope that helps.

Warmly,
Jenny

jennifer75 · Jul 8, 2009

JRTurner said:
I can't tell you how many times I've been interrupted or the author wasn't clear, and I've had to back track through unattributed dialogue to figure out who said what and when.

Meeeeeeeee toooooooooooo!

maestrowork · Jul 8, 2009

It's definitely about clarity. But the original question is, I think, if there are attributions that just don't matter. To me, it really depends. For example, if there's a scene where a bunch of random, nameless people are pointing at the sky:

"Look, it's an airplane."
"It's a bullet."
"It's a rocket."
"It's a meteorite."
"No, it's coming this way."
"Run, everyone."

To me, it really doesn't matter who is saying what because they're just nameless characters. What matters is what is being said and why. To attribute the dialogue is to bog things down unnecessarily; it becomes tedious and counterproductive.

"Look, it's an airplane," a boy said.
"It's a bullet," the woman next to him said.
"It's a rocket," a man said.
"It's a meteorite," the woman said.
"No, it's coming this way," the boy said.
"Run, everyone," the man said.

hammerklavier · Jul 8, 2009

The author's job is to put the reader into the story, i.e., into the room with these two characters, and unless there is a lot of confusion going on at the time, a person in that room is going to know who said what. So not making that reasonably clear is failing in your art.

LOG · Jul 8, 2009

'maestrowork' understood my question best I believe.
Although in this part of my story I believe that attributing to the speaking character it is the right thing to do, as others have said, it is(going to be) a very...comprehensible scene.

Which leads me into something else, unclear attribution; what's your logic for deciding on whether the attribution(if any) for dialogue is clear?
The setence now reads,

'A series of knocks sounded on the door.
Doyale eyed it askance, “We did not order anything..."
Emera turned her face towards the origin of the knocking.'

That's pretty much the same formatting as in the page, and now that I'm reading it over again I'm not sure if the attribution to Doyale is entirely clear.
I'm leaning on the formatting a bit for support here. Since Doyale is the only character mentioned in the line, and the only one actually doing something in the line with the dialogue, I'm hoping they'll connect Doyale with the dialogue.

And as long we're speaking of Doyale, I'm not sure if I wrote his name right. It should sound like doy-yul, but I really hate that 'u' when combined with y and L. I can't decide if it should be a 'u,' an 'a,' or an 'o,' they all sound practically the same to me...maybe I've been repeating the name too much. Doy-yol; Doy-yal; Doy-yul.
I have the same sort of trouble with alot of names, can't decide how to translate how they sound to how their spelled, so many different ways...
I go to bed, maybe sleep will help...

Lyra Jean · Jul 9, 2009

JRTurner said:
I can't tell you how many times I've been interrupted or the author wasn't clear, and I've had to back track through unattributed dialogue to figure out who said what and when. I would say either give it a tag, or make it so it's obvious who's speaking through the dialect or syntax of that character. I mean, if it's:

"Jinkies, we didn't order anything!"

I know who said it

Hope that helps.

Warmly,
Jenny

"Scooby, did you order a pizza with pickles, sausage, asparagus, with extra chili?"
"No Raggy"
"Who's knocking at our door."

I couldn't help it.

As to the OP I would need more to say as to whether it was important for it to be attributed or not. If it's not attributed I assume that it probably the main character or if two people have been in conversation for awhile who ever spoke last. But if it's an opening paragraph, the main character definitely.

LOG · Jul 9, 2009

There is no one main character, 3rd person, both characters present are main characters.

OpheliaRevived · Jul 10, 2009

Dale and Neuro have great points. For me, it would matter and it matters why they thought they were getting an "order".

Do some things just not matter?

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