The use of real names in a memoir

This subject has probably been covered in AW. Try doing a search.

Wow, Molfitz, why even post?

While you can do a search, I am sure that is something you haven't thought of, but in case that it is, allow me to offer my opinion.

A lot of the writing I have had published, not book-length, has had my interactions with others who did not realize they were going to appear in whatever I was writing at the time. I almost always change the names unless I am profiling a specific person. It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a lawyer if there is a specific person or persons you are worried would not offer their consent, but still want to tell the story as YOU lived it.

Just my opinions. These opinions are NOT to be taken as legal, medical, or even sensible advice.

Good luck on being published. Hopefully you are finding this site a little more helpful than I am. 'Course I am a bit of a cynic.

Molfitz said:

This subject has probably been covered in AW. Try doing a search.

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cough cough...try being more helpful to a fellow newbie...cough cough

Molfitz: You probably meant well, but I agree with those who feel that the advice you gave could've been coupled with an actual opinion on the question of the thread. Members have done [that] to me, to which I generally laugh. I laugh, because I tend to view people like that as sandpaper. Yeah, sandpaper. In that its abrasive side will generally get you where you want to be quicker than the smoother side, but is sometimes necessary for the best effect, ya know?

Now: I'm not an expert on the subject of memoirs, but I believe that you could get away with naming folks, as long as you are prepared to prove what's written in a court of law. Truth often don't need much support, so try to stick to the actual facts, if the person in question hasn't given you permission. Ike Turner was furious about the movie, "What's Love Got To Do With It", but hospital records of Tina Turner's black eyes were hard to refute. So I suppose when considering writing about someone, ask yourself: "Is this person necessary to the substance of the book?" and "Can I prove what I've written by proponderance of evidence?"
Hope that helps.

Molfitz said:

This subject has probably been covered in AW. Try doing a search.

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Kristilove--you said your stepfather needs to be blasted. A memoir really wouldn't be the place to do it. A letter to him, maybe, but not in a book. All it's doing is creating more havoc, like maybe defamation of character and/or libel. Do you have the money for an attorney?

From someone who's had a step-father, a wonderful man who's now deceased, and from someone who hated being a step-mother to a pair of right little bastards, the step-father might have a few not-so-nice tales to tell, himself.

stormie said:

Kristilove--you said your stepfather needs to be blasted. A memoir really wouldn't be the place to do it. A letter to him, maybe, but not in a book. All it's doing is creating more havoc, like maybe defamation of character and/or libel. Do you have the money for an attorney?

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Hi--

I've written a nonfiction/true crime book and a simple email respose is fine: "Yes, you may use my full name" or "no, you may not use my name." For those who said no, I made up a name. (And they complained--good-naturedly!--about the name I gave them!) The book is being shopped around and once a publishing contract is signed, I'm sure the publisher will have a certain "form" to use, or I'll simpy double check with everyone.

And as for first names, I would simple make up a name and indicate that it's made up.

I would NOT use your stepfather's real name, but it will be easily found out once your book is published. Try to take a step back---should whatever happen in private really be made public? Once it happens, there's no going back,