Starting off with a BANG

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Epiphany

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I've had two agents complain about the slow pace of the beginning of my YA novel, although I think that by Chapter Eight (five-ten page chapters) the pace picks up, becoming very suspenseful. So this isn't really a yes or no question, but how does your novel start off? Do you start off with a simple every day scene, building character description before picking up the plot, or do you start off with action/suspense/cliffhangers?

Or maybe you don't start off with either of these, but something in-between...
 

alleycat

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First, I would say that 50 pages is way too late for something to start being suspenseful or for the "pace to pick up". It's okay to start out calmly rather than with a bang, but you need to draw the reader in. If agents you trust have given you this critique, it's something you really need to take a look at.

Here I'm speaking primarily as a reader rather than as a writer.

JMHO
 

lm728

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I would have to agree with alleycat. You can say, "But...but it gets better at page 50!"
The thing is, a reader won't get to page 50 if they're not interested with pages 1-5.

My own WIP first started out with a fantasy-happy-ending scene, something that's juxtaposed. And it's actually a flashfoward.
And after I've gotten the reader interested, I contrast it with a ONE YEAR AGO scene, and the story gets moving.

But then a few betas voiced their opinion that the beginning was too happy, so I wrote a more desolate one.
And then I got feedback saying that the desolate scene was too desolate.

So, you know. You can't please everyone.

I made a hybrid after that, when my first beta (and her opinions matter most, since she stuck by me when I was a newbie who used adverbs liberally) assured me my premise was unique that any starter was hooky enough. :D
 
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KTC

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Mine starts with a raging fire...and three teenage boys trying to escape from it.
 

Fokker Aeroplanbau

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Read some Stephen King, he's fairly good at having one interesting tone at the beginning of the novel (always gets me, everytime) that not only sets the writer's feelings alight, but also sets the scene.

Try something like that?
 

Epiphany

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I have intriguing, semi-suspensful moments in the first fifty pages, simply no action sequences until the eighth chapter. But the reason why I posted this is because I am writing a new first chapter that is technically a thriller chapter--a suspensful action scene that SHOULD catch the reader's attention immediately. How does everyone else catch attention?
 

KTC

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I've had two agents complain about the slow pace of the beginning of my YA novel, although I think that by Chapter Eight (five-ten page chapters) the pace picks up, becoming very suspenseful. So this isn't really a yes or no question, but how does your novel start off? Do you start off with a simple every day scene, building character description before picking up the plot, or do you start off with action/suspense/cliffhangers?

Or maybe you don't start off with either of these, but something in-between...

Find a way to get to chapter 8 first. Otherwise, you will be the only one who ever gets that far. I'm not trying to be mean when I say that. It could just be a matter of reorganizing. You need your readers to want to read it from the get-go.
 

Epiphany

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Find a way to get to chapter 8 first. Otherwise, you will be the only one who ever gets that far. I'm not trying to be mean when I say that. It could just be a matter of reorganizing. You need your readers to want to read it from the get-go.

Haha. Don't apologize for being mean. :tongue I take criticism very well.

And I don't think it's slow for a novel, but urban fantasy it might be a tad slow. I think action scenes at the beginning can sometimes be cheap, but hey, if it catches attention than I might as well go for it.

So here's a new question, just to throw it out there: If you HAD to choose between building character or building suspense (just talking about the first chapter) what would you go for personally? Again, this isn't a yes or no question, I just want to get a feel for what everyone else thinks.
 

Blackest_Nite

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I will usually give a book five to ten chapters (depending on length) before I'll decide whether or not to continue on. Since it is a YA novel, the target buyer may not want to wait that long to be 'dazzled' so to speak.
In my own novels I usually start off gradually on the first page or so, but before the closing of chapter one, something major/exciting/what-the-heck-ish has happened. It all depends on the book and my mood at the time. lol
 

KTC

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So here's a new question, just to throw it out there: If you HAD to choose between building character or building suspense (just talking about the first chapter) what would you go for personally? Again, this isn't a yes or no question, I just want to get a feel for what everyone else thinks.

I'm greedy. I would go for both. I would form my characters amidst the action. I don't know if I did this with my manuscript, but my real life critique group assures me that I did. I will take their word for it, since I am just plain nasty when it comes to my own writing. I want a first chapter to hook me and give me a great grasp of the characters.
 

Danthia

Mine starts with action. Something has gone wrong by the end of the second paragraph. The first paragraph establishes character and gives you a reason to like her so you care about what goes wrong on paragraph two. By chapter eight, I have my protag up to her eyeballs in trouble and having to choose between the rock and the hard place to get out of it.

You need a mix of action and character for a successful opening. Action with no reason to care is just as boring as endless description or views in to a characters life. But action (in a summer blockbuster movie type sense) is not the only way to have a compelling opening. Mystery, an intriguing puzzle, an odd situation, all kinds of things can capture a reader's interest.

My action is a girl stealing eggs, who get caught and has to escape. And it all goes wrong from there. Not earth shattering, but it does shatter her world, so it matters.

You want to show a great character that readers can like (or be fascinated by), a situation or problem that makes them curious to read on, and stakes to make them care how it turns out. A sense that something is going on that matters to someone and that something bad is about to happen. You need your reader to want to know what happens next, and be afraid of what that might be at the same time.
 

peachiemkey

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The opener of WIP1 is my MC sitting alone (by choice - characterization) at a graduation party getting grossed out by a couple making out in the corner (she makes a snarky comment - conflict). By the third page she gets a text from her dead's boyfriend's name and faints (hook). WIP2, MC wakes up to the noise of her parents doing it two rooms over (crazy first line; she thinks about how it's "celebratory" for her mom getting pregnant with a non-screwed up replacement kid - conflict). She listens to some '80s rock to block them out (characterization) and thinks about her plans for the summer (sets story).

Those are just mine, I doubt they're perfect, but people have said they liked them. :)
 
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Repartee

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Mine starts with a bang, literally. A building blows up.
The first few pages are scene setting. She's in Barcelona, sitting at a table with her partner and another agent. She's fidgeting, and while she waits I do a little info on the past and present, lightly explain what she does and why she's there without info-dumping. You get a brief introduction to both men, and then it picks up the pace. It builds up to the point where the explosion happens, and then it stays steady. The whole novel is very fast-paced, with little slow or dull spots.

How a book should start depends a lot on personal preference and genre IMO. I write crime and thrillers, so my novels will probably start a little differently from someone who writes, say, fantasy or romance.

According to those who have read TH, I catch and keep the reader's interest within the first couple of pages.

And, this is just me, I'm sure other people feel differently, but if after even 40 pages the novel still hasn't increased its pace, I would probably set it down.
 
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timewaster

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If your book doesn't get going till chapter eight, start at chapter eight.
If you are writing for teens you are not writing for the most patient demographic on the planet. They ( and I ) need a hook - please give us one.
 

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Getting the right sort of beginning is something I struggle with. *sigh* I'm also really bad about putting TMI in the book and making it drag on longer than it ought to. *points to WIP word count* :eek: I think it's important stuff to have in there, but I have a suspicion others might not agree.

The book I'm editing starts with my MC at work in a coffee shop, dealing with an ornery customer and her eccentric boss. (Conflict? *is hopeful*) A cute boy comes in, buys a coffee, leaves, and on page 3 she runs into him (literally) when he's about to steal her car. (Hook?) I'm probably lacking in the characterization department up until page 4 or 5. (Oops.)

My WIP is being rather problematic. Not just at the beginning, either. All the way through, I'm worried I'm not re-hooking the reader frequently enough. Anyone else ever have that problem?

It opens with a pretty mundane scene where my MC is talking to her crush before going toding (it's kind of a fantasy-ish book - think fishing) with her family. The purpose was to set the scene and show what her life was like normally. Then, by page...*goes to check*...3 (Okay, I was quicker than I thought I'd been) she/the reader finds out (through a rather info-dumpy paragraph - oops) that her village is about to become part of the front lines in the ongoing war. But she doesn't realize what a big problem that's going to be (i.e. she's going to have to go live with her far-away grandparents) until page 17.

Yerggg. I'm in a slump. :tongue If you figure out the formula for a perfect beginning, let me know.

ETA: I just remembered one of my older books that started with my MC's grandfather complaining about how there was no toilet paper left in the bathroom. *snicker* That's about as close to a bang as I've ever gotten, I think. :tongue
 
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dragonkid

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The first chapter of my WIP (an urban SF/F crossover) has a body, a police chase, an identity crisis, and the possibility of a plague. In other words, I’m the kind of writer (and reader) who prefers to begin with high stakes and fill the backstory in later. If the suspense that shows up around chapter eight is a highpoint in your novel and you think it will do a better job of hooking readers, I would definitely advise you to move it closer to the beginning. Action and character development can coexist – what better way to illustrate character than through your protagonist’s choices and instincts in a crisis?

That said, I think a quieter, slower build can work, as long as it’s clear from the beginning that things are not as calm as they seem. There must be conflict, or at least the possibility of conflict (but not necessarily bodies and explosions).
 

Ctairo

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Haha. Don't apologize for being mean. :tongue I take criticism very well.

And I don't think it's slow for a novel, but urban fantasy it might be a tad slow. I think action scenes at the beginning can sometimes be cheap, but hey, if it catches attention than I might as well go for it.

So here's a new question, just to throw it out there: If you HAD to choose between building character or building suspense (just talking about the first chapter) what would you go for personally? Again, this isn't a yes or no question, I just want to get a feel for what everyone else thinks.

Cheap--or expected? Genres usually have conventions. Does your novel adhere to them?

I'll third character development AND suspense since it's not "either/or."
 

Epiphany

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Okay, well I wrote a new chapter. I posted it Here if anyone wants to take a look. I'm hoping that it hooks the reader early without coming off as too cheesy.
 

Momento Mori

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Epiphany:
So this isn't really a yes or no question, but how does your novel start off? Do you start off with a simple every day scene, building character description before picking up the plot, or do you start off with action/suspense/cliffhangers?

My opening chapter has zombies, a fake-out, a murder and a resurrection and it seemed to split opinion between agents. A lot of them loved it because there was so much going on - some of them hated it because there was so much going on. I had one complaint about the fake-out, one complaint about the resurrection and a complaint that the murder wasn't gory enough.

Ultimately I think that much depends on what type of YA you're writing - if you're doing an action thriller or a fantasy then something needs to happen in your opening chapter but if you're writing literary YA, then you can take more time to establish character and situation (while signalling that something's going to happen).

MM
 

calley

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That's just about the same problem I'm having with a novel I just finished. I've got action and set up in the first six chapters, but it doesn't really get to the part I'd love an agent to look at until Chapter 7. Re-write coming, needless to say.
 

Epiphany

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My opening chapter has zombies, a fake-out, a murder and a resurrection and it seemed to split opinion between agents. A lot of them loved it because there was so much going on - some of them hated it because there was so much going on. I had one complaint about the fake-out, one complaint about the resurrection and a complaint that the murder wasn't gory enough.

Ultimately I think that much depends on what type of YA you're writing - if you're doing an action thriller or a fantasy then something needs to happen in your opening chapter but if you're writing literary YA, then you can take more time to establish character and situation (while signalling that something's going to happen).

MM

I'm attempting to write literary UF, which makes it even more complicated. My characters are the heart, not the plot.

Ugh, it is college that had made me this way. Damn you college!
 

jmascia

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I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. But I have to agree that you should have more action toward the beginning of the story (if your story is supposed to be full of action). I also think that you shouldn't just put an action scene in at the beginning for the sake of putting in an action scene.
 

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Teens want things to happen now or yesterday. They dont want to wait around for things. While your book maybe very good, your agents maybe right.
 
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