Hello! My name is Liz, and I'm looking for someone who can help me out with my novel-in-progress, called My Brother's Ghost. I'm not picky about whether or not you have credentials or can help me get published, I just want to get the darn thing finished! I need someone who is smart and not afraid to tell me exactly what they think.
A bit about the story: This novel is an adventure story that takes place in a fantasy setting. The main character, Tanus, lost his older brother Jericho in a demon attack four years ago, but he still sees vivid "memory flashes" of Jericho all the time. When a girl named Kirei comes to his village looking for the famous demon fighter Jericho to help her save the world, he's unable to tell her the truth about his Jericho and instead steals his brother's identity as he leaves his village for the first time. He has to adjust to a new world and learn to be the kind of demon slayer Jericho was...without letting his secret slip, and the only guide he has is his brother's "ghost". His travels with Kirei take him to a multitude of different places, and he has to face several obstacles which make it harder for him to pretend to be Jericho, such as meeting an old friendturned the wrong side, and eventually returning home to his family in order to protect his home. There's not much of the manuscript written yet, but the book itself, when complete, will be very, very long.
My strengths in writing: I have freakishly good grammar and I'm very handy with the spellcheck, even though I don't spell so well on my own. I have a good sense of flow. I read a lot, so I sort of have an idea of what works and what doesn't; I know how to give plots a start, middle, and finish. I know how to stay in one point of view. I have a wide vocabulary, but I try not to use words a reader would have to look up in a dictionary.
My weaknesses in writing: I'm quite long-winded. I tend to go on and on when I feel things could be cut short. I have a problem with using words like "as", "said", and "-ly" too much. I've also been told I don't quite know how to work with my "--". I am guilty of some melodrama here and there, mostly because I have too much internal monologue. With that in mind, I also have problems with showing instead of telling. I'm very weak on action scenes and need improvement on description, and the plot for this particular novel is a bit sketchy, especially the ending. I feel as though my characters may not be believable or "real" enough, or that the pace of my book tends to lag.
What I need from a beta: As I stated above, I don't need credentials, and I don't need hand-holding. I want solid, honest advice, someone who I can bounce ideas off of and ask writing questions to - like, "What voice do I use for my narration? When is it okay to change points of view? Does this plot device work?" I don't want someone just for the words themselves - the grammar, the flow, the spelling. I want a beta for my ideas, too, someone who can understand the plot and help me figure out which parts to keep and which parts to cut out, someone who can give me harsh feedback (go on, I can take it, and if I can't, I need to learn to!).
If anyone is willing to help me, you'd have my eternal gratitude. I've been working on this story for two or three years now and I'd really love another person to give me feedback on it. Even if I never get it published, I do want to get it complete, and make it the best it can be, and I can't do that alone.
Thank you for your time.
A bit about the story: This novel is an adventure story that takes place in a fantasy setting. The main character, Tanus, lost his older brother Jericho in a demon attack four years ago, but he still sees vivid "memory flashes" of Jericho all the time. When a girl named Kirei comes to his village looking for the famous demon fighter Jericho to help her save the world, he's unable to tell her the truth about his Jericho and instead steals his brother's identity as he leaves his village for the first time. He has to adjust to a new world and learn to be the kind of demon slayer Jericho was...without letting his secret slip, and the only guide he has is his brother's "ghost". His travels with Kirei take him to a multitude of different places, and he has to face several obstacles which make it harder for him to pretend to be Jericho, such as meeting an old friendturned the wrong side, and eventually returning home to his family in order to protect his home. There's not much of the manuscript written yet, but the book itself, when complete, will be very, very long.
My strengths in writing: I have freakishly good grammar and I'm very handy with the spellcheck, even though I don't spell so well on my own. I have a good sense of flow. I read a lot, so I sort of have an idea of what works and what doesn't; I know how to give plots a start, middle, and finish. I know how to stay in one point of view. I have a wide vocabulary, but I try not to use words a reader would have to look up in a dictionary.
My weaknesses in writing: I'm quite long-winded. I tend to go on and on when I feel things could be cut short. I have a problem with using words like "as", "said", and "-ly" too much. I've also been told I don't quite know how to work with my "--". I am guilty of some melodrama here and there, mostly because I have too much internal monologue. With that in mind, I also have problems with showing instead of telling. I'm very weak on action scenes and need improvement on description, and the plot for this particular novel is a bit sketchy, especially the ending. I feel as though my characters may not be believable or "real" enough, or that the pace of my book tends to lag.
What I need from a beta: As I stated above, I don't need credentials, and I don't need hand-holding. I want solid, honest advice, someone who I can bounce ideas off of and ask writing questions to - like, "What voice do I use for my narration? When is it okay to change points of view? Does this plot device work?" I don't want someone just for the words themselves - the grammar, the flow, the spelling. I want a beta for my ideas, too, someone who can understand the plot and help me figure out which parts to keep and which parts to cut out, someone who can give me harsh feedback (go on, I can take it, and if I can't, I need to learn to!).
If anyone is willing to help me, you'd have my eternal gratitude. I've been working on this story for two or three years now and I'd really love another person to give me feedback on it. Even if I never get it published, I do want to get it complete, and make it the best it can be, and I can't do that alone.
Thank you for your time.
