Is it always like this? (Adult)

KelliMain · May 14, 2009

I just started writing Erotic Romance (at least I think that's what it is after reading the sexy or erotic threads), taking the plunge from paranormal and urban fantasy. I've taken to it like a fish to water and am pleasantly surprised by that.

Anyway, I have to ask those of you who write Erotic Romance/Erotica - do you always spend the day all worked up thinking about sex? Seriously. I'm thinking about my book all the time, like at work, and because of some of the detailed sex scenes, it's killing me.

Do you ever get desensitized to what you write or is this something I should get used to? (There's worse things to have to get used to, I know...)

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

I can only speak for myself.

In a rare display of ladylike restraint I will phrase it this way: Yes, the thought is always there, if only in the back of my mind. But the sight of a good-looking person (male or female) will make that thought more prominent.

Plus, I love thinking about my characters and what they get up to, so yeah...if you see me on a bus, in a supermarket queue, in a waiting room...and I look a bit dreamy, that's what I'm thinking of.

The nasty.

Brindle Chase · May 14, 2009

In short. Yes. But I think about everything I write, all the time, so it isn't always the erotic romances. And then.. I'm a guy, so I naturally think about sex all the time, so I'm not sure I can fairly blame it on my writing. *lol*

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

Believe me; women are like that too. It's definitely not a guy thing.

I better watch myself in this thread. :ROFL:

Let's just say the mods will be very glad I have no intention of posting any emails or MSN conversations I've exchanged with Lori...

sunandshadow · May 14, 2009

I find that if I've been aroused for an hour or two my brain runs out of arousal chemicals and thoughts about sex are boring for a while.

Brindle Chase · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Believe me; women are like that too. It's definitely not a guy thing.

*lol* I've heard this... but women seem so much better at hiding the fact!

mlhernandez · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Believe me; women are like that too. It's definitely not a guy thing.

Especially if they have PCOS. Seriously. When I'm not on meds to regulate my hormones (like now that I'm finally pregnant or when I was undergoing fertility treatment,) I have the testerone levels of a horny teen boy. My RE's eyebrows nearly jumped off his forehead the first time I had my blood panel done. Even with meds, my testosterone levels are majorly elevated.

Considering my chosen professsion--writer of the uber-naughty--it works out quite nicely.

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

PCOS? I don't have that and I'm still randy as all get-out.

That's my default setting. I don't need hormones kicking me in the ovary to jump-start my libido...

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Believe me; women are like that too. It's definitely not a guy thing.

Seconded!!

I better watch myself in this thread.

Let's just say the mods will be very glad I have no intention of posting any emails or MSN conversations I've exchanged with Lori...

Also seconded!!

mlhernandez said:
Especially if they have PCOS. Seriously. When I'm not on meds to regulate my hormones (like now that I'm finally pregnant or when I was undergoing fertility treatment,) I have the testerone levels of a horny teen boy. My RE's eyebrows nearly jumped off his forehead the first time I had my blood panel done. Even with meds, my testosterone levels are majorly elevated.

Considering my chosen professsion--writer of the uber-naughty--it works out quite nicely.

Hmm...interesting. I have some hormonal weirdness too (though not PCOS). Explains why I'm constantly thinking dirty thoughts, my novels have eleventy billion sex scenes, and my husband is usually smiling.

sunandshadow · May 14, 2009

I also have PCOS. I still remember the one month I was trying a new medication and it just flattened my sexuality - I was looking at people I thought were attractive a week earlier and just feeling nothing. Would have been completely impossible to write erotica like that. The sad thing is, a medication that suppressed all that testosterone and killed my sex drive would probably be better for my reproductive health. And turned the other way around, that's true of PCOS in general - the very chemicals that make me more interested in sex are the same ones that make me less attractive to the average male and less able to get pregnant if I did manage to get laid. :/

wannawrite · May 14, 2009

Anyway, I have to ask those of you who write Erotic Romance/Erotica - do you always spend the day all worked up thinking about sex?

*Um...yes.

Do you ever get desensitized to what you write or is this something I should get used to? (There's worse things to have to get used to, I know...)[/quote]

*Um...get used to it

necia phoenix · May 14, 2009

In my husbands words (borrowed from a t-shirt he saw online):

My wife writes erotica romance, I benefit.

Jersey Chick · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Believe me; women are like that too. It's definitely not a guy thing.

I don't know if I'm thirding or fourthing or whatevering, so I'll just echo this.

My husband likes to take credit for my sex scenes.

I end up writing a dozen per book, and usually taking out 2/3rds of them for the finished project.

KelliMain · May 14, 2009

OH, I'm in good company then and not a freak of nature. Good to know.

I told my husband that his life just got a lot better when I started this book! I don't think I'll ever let him read it - he'd die if he knew those words/scenes came from me. This is like a nice secret pleasure. I may be done with other genres for good.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

Jersey Chick said:
My husband likes to take credit for my sex scenes.

My husband brags to his co-workers that I'm a writer. When they found out I write erotic romance, one of them asked (with a totally straight face), "So, how does she find her inspiration for the dirty scenes?" LOL

The best part was when we were at a baseball game, I was working on a scene while we were sitting in the stands (workaholic? Me? Never). The guy asked me the same question. I deadpanned: "I have an active imagination and a large porn collection." My husband just laughed...he knows the truth.

For the sake of his sanity at work, I didn't mention that the scene I was working on at the time was a gay sex scene...

Synonym · May 14, 2009

On the days I'm thinking through a scene while delivering the mail...I have to go back and get the neighbors mail out of the box a time or two. Writing hot stuff is not conducive to accurate delivery.

I have never gotten desensitized from writing it, only better at it. (writing, that is.)

KelliMain · May 14, 2009

thethinker42 said:
The best part was when we were at a baseball game, I was working on a scene while we were sitting in the stands (workaholic? Me? Never).

quote]

In the stands at a baseball game? Wow. I bow to your abilities to concentrate and not be paranoid that everyone around you could read your mind. I don't think I'll ever get to that point with a sex scene.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

KelliMain said:
In the stands at a baseball game? Wow. I bow to your abilities to concentrate and not be paranoid that everyone around you could read your mind. I don't think I'll ever get to that point with a sex scene.

I have atrocious handwriting. There's no way anyone can read what I'm writing. LOL Either that, or I use my Neo, which makes it hard to read over my shoulder.

That, and if they read over my shoulder...well...that'll teach 'em.

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

I see no problem with writing a sex scene at a ball game (snerk).

As far as I'm concerned, sex is always more interesting than...well, anything.

You know that saying when you have a really good meal, a cool drink on a hot day, see a great movie, win at a sports game and you say, "Man, that was better than sex?" That's not something I've ever said in all seriousness because nothing is better - or more interesting - than sex.

Written or reality.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
You know that saying when you have a really good meal, a cool drink on a hot day, see a great movie, win at a sports game and you say, "Man, that was better than sex?" That's not something I've ever said in all seriousness because nothing is better - or more interesting - than sex.

Written or reality.

Amen to that.

Lainey Bancroft · May 14, 2009

Get used to it.

If you can't 'send' yourself a little, how can you expect to 'send' a reader?

Depending on the 'household mood' my husband either tells people he's my 'research partner' or that I 'observe his behaviors and write the opposite,' Meh, we've been together twenty-some years. What can I say?

But, yeah, ultimately he's 'lucky' I write, even if I don't write erotic per se.

KelliMain · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
I see no problem with writing a sex scene at a ball game (snerk).

As far as I'm concerned, sex is always more interesting than...well, anything.

You know that saying when you have a really good meal, a cool drink on a hot day, see a great movie, win at a sports game and you say, "Man, that was better than sex?" That's not something I've ever said in all seriousness because nothing is better - or more interesting - than sex.

Written or reality.

I've got to say that the molten chocolate cake explosion thing at Chilis gives me pretty similar sensations.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

KelliMain said:
I've got to say that the molten chocolate cake explosion thing at Chilis gives me pretty similar sensations.

Try having the cake, then going home and having sex.

I assure you, the cake pales in comparison.

Not that I have EVER done this comparison with that very dessert...

blueobsidian · May 14, 2009

thethinker42 said:
Try having the cake, then going home and having sex.

I assure you, the cake pales in comparison.

I recommend the sex first, then the cake.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

blueobsidian said:
I recommend the sex first, then the cake.

Fortunately, Chili's does takeout now, so there's no need to decide which to do first.

Is it always like this? (Adult)

KelliMain

scarletpeaches

Brindle Chase

Dancing on the edge

scarletpeaches

sunandshadow

Impractical Fantasy Animal

Brindle Chase

Dancing on the edge

mlhernandez

scarletpeaches

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

sunandshadow

Impractical Fantasy Animal

wannawrite

necia phoenix

Jersey Chick

Up all night to get Loki

KelliMain

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Synonym

KelliMain

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

scarletpeaches

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Lainey Bancroft

Cover Me!

KelliMain

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

blueobsidian

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author