Foreign Words

JS Emuakpor · May 14, 2009

Hello All.

I'm writing an Historical Fantasy novel that includes some foreign words. Most of which I use repeatedly and, taken in context, you know what they mean--like Queen or King. However, there is one term that I use sparingly: Yan Tauri.

I introduce it in a description of a character. Like so: "He was a hot-head and fancied himself yan tauri—one who is impervious to metal, thus invincible."

Then I don't use it again for thirty pages, in relation to the same character. Like so: "It's also possible that he was indeed yan tauri, for not once had I seen him injured in battle—not by conventional weapons at any rate. In a sparring match, Jaruma had hit him with a palm reed and left a sizeable cut on his forehead, but as far as anyone knew, he'd never been cut by a blade."

The story is in first-person, so both excerpts are actually part of the narrative.

Question is this: Since I don't explain what yan tauri is in the second excerpt, do you think the reader would remember after thirty pages?

James D. Macdonald · May 14, 2009

One would certainly hope so. Though if it's important to the plot, make sure it's obvious from context too.

JS Emuakpor · May 14, 2009

Thanks, James.

I thought the context would jog a readers memory in the second excerpt, and I really didn't want to say again, "...yan tauri--impervious to metal." Did the second exceprt strike you as reasonably adequate? 'Reasonable' and 'adequate' being relative of course.

melaniehoo · May 14, 2009

I think the description you use in the second example should suffice. You're never going to please everyone and I think it's better to write for those who pay attention.

Manderley · May 14, 2009

I think it is adequate, and it works just fine in the context. In fact, as a reader, I might be more annoyed if you were to explain it again.

gonovelgo · May 14, 2009

I think most readers will probably remember what it means the second time around. The only situation where it might be a problem is if they're not paying attention at all, but hopefully everything else about the story will stop that from happening!

James D. Macdonald · May 14, 2009

Just write it. If your beta-readers go "WTF?!" then you know it didn't work.

AllieB · May 14, 2009

I think it works just fine. The context of your second example reminds the reader of the meaning.

JS Emuakpor · May 14, 2009

Thanks everyone!

I'm in agreement, but seriously needed a second opinion. I certainly hope the novel is worth paying attention to!

And I do intend to solicit some beta readers, so we'll see how it goes.

Thanks again!

IceCreamEmpress · May 14, 2009

I would put the word "metal" or similar in the second bit, just to remind readers that that is what keeps the character from being injured by swords, etc.

"It's also possible that he was indeed yan tauri, for not once had I seen him injured in battle—not by a metal weapon at any rate."

Sargentodiaz · May 14, 2009

The current book I'm reading has a Russian general as the villian. The author will use a word in Russian with the english word in parathesis following.

JS Emuakpor · May 14, 2009

lvcabbie said:
The current book I'm reading has a Russian general as the villian. The author will use a word in Russian with the english word in parathesis following.

Interesting. How does that read for you? Is it fiction? Seems like it would work okay in a non-fiction, but it might be a little weird to do that in fiction.

Sargentodiaz · May 15, 2009

The book is action/thriller set in a military genre. A Russian general is putting up rockets/sattelites to stop the USA from launching an anti-missile system. So, when the author deals with Russian ranks and words, he uses the () to show the English word the first time he uses it.

As my novel about a terror attack on Las Vegas had a lot of Spanish words and terms in it, I'm trying to do the same.

For example, when I name the antagonist's home as la Perle del Montes i follow it with (The Pearl of the Mountains) the first time it appears.

Foreign Words

JS Emuakpor

I lurk. Therefore, I am.

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle

JS Emuakpor

I lurk. Therefore, I am.

melaniehoo

And thus we begin the edits

Manderley

Slowly does it.

gonovelgo

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle

AllieB

JS Emuakpor

I lurk. Therefore, I am.

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

Sargentodiaz

JS Emuakpor

I lurk. Therefore, I am.

Sargentodiaz