What wrong with me?

Wayne K · May 13, 2009

Besides all that.

Honestly now.
I wrote two books 100,000 words + in a few months.
I have two proposals done and they are killer.

Why the F can't I write a good query letter?

My biggest problem is getting it all into a few paragraphs. Is there something I'm missing or am I just not studying the right approach?

SPMiller · May 13, 2009

It has taken me something like a year of research and work to create a single halfway passable query letter. Seems to be easy for some folks. For others, not so much.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

Query letters are the bane of my existence. I hate them with a fiery passion. Write 50,000 words in a week? Any time. Write a query letter? *whimper*

I feel your pain, bro.

Matera the Mad · May 14, 2009

The fuggered little buckers are heck. Whatchew expect? :tongue

dgrintalis · May 14, 2009

I'm with you, Wayne. I think query letters are evil. Evil, I tell you. Have you posted yours in QLH to get some feedback?

Ms Hollands · May 14, 2009

Just imagine you have to read a hundred of the things a day and think about what would grab YOUR attention.

I found putting mine away for a week or so and looking at it again helped me cut down all the 'me' stuff that was way too long. I'm hoping to get agent feedback tomorrow before I send mine out - a bit of confirmation that' it's okay. Would this confirmation help you too?

Ms.rachel · May 14, 2009

If you have had anyone read your book ask them to sum up what it is about for you and go from there. the hardest part for me was getting out of all the details, pulling back enough to think of the book as a whole. Or just go to like amazon and read all the summarys (back of books) for inspiration. I'm guessing the most important info for the query is the who, what they want, and what might stand in their way.

CaroGirl · May 14, 2009

I worked my butt off for months writing my query and synopsis. I sent out my best attempt. I got a great personalized rejection (loved the story but not for us, + suggestions) from a publisher to whom I sent 50 pages that said the quality of my writing and story were not reflected well in the query and synopsis. And, had she not had my 50 pages, she would not have known how good it was.

I'd go back to the drawing board but I really don't know how to write those things any better, dang it!

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

thethinker42 said:
Query letters are the bane of my existence. I hate them with a fiery passion. Write 50,000 words in a week? Any time. Write a query letter? *whimper*

I feel your pain, bro.

Ms.rachel said:
If you have had anyone read your book ask them to sum up what it is about for you and go from there. the hardest part for me was getting out of all the details, pulling back enough to think of the book as a whole. Or just go to like amazon and read all the summarys (back of books) for inspiration. I'm guessing the most important info for the query is the who, what they want, and what might stand in their way.

This is why I wrote the synopsis for Lori's Between Brothers. It just didn't sell the book.

And I think it's sometimes easier to get someone else to write it for you, because they don't have the "I'm the author; if I talk up my own book, isn't that boasting?" jitters.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
This is why I wrote the synopsis for Lori's Between Brothers. It just didn't sell the book.

And I think it's sometimes easier to get someone else to write it for you, because they don't have the "I'm the author; if I talk up my own book, isn't that boasting?" jitters.

I think you're absolutely right. I have a hard time with synopses and queries because I feel like I'm basically whoring out my own story. I've never been good at sales, etc.

Since SP is my #1 fan of Between Brothers, it only made sense to have her write the synopsis. 2 weeks later? Full manuscript request. So, I think she's onto something.

CaroGirl · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
This is why I wrote the synopsis for Lori's Between Brothers. It just didn't sell the book.

And I think it's sometimes easier to get someone else to write it for you, because they don't have the "I'm the author; if I talk up my own book, isn't that boasting?" jitters.

Yabbut, you're not really supposed to go all "my book's the best thing since sliced bread" in the query. It's more like hook + plot + character all in 250 wds or less. There's some magic formula to it but I haven't figured it out.

Maybe you're right and the magic formula is getting someone else to write it.

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

I didn't talk it up in the sliced-bread sense, just used more...descriptive phrases.

Lori's version was a bit "This happens then that happens and so on," and mine was more "KAPOW! ZAP! BOING! SPLURT!"

And mine was the version that got it a full request, so ner ner ner ner ner! :tongue

CaroGirl · May 14, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
I didn't talk it up in the sliced-bread sense, just used more...descriptive phrases.

Lori's version was a bit "This happens then that happens and so on," and mine was more "KAPOW! ZAP! BOING! SPLURT!"

And mine was the version that got it a full request, so ner ner ner ner ner!

Cool. So, my story's in the mail. I'd prefer "ZING and ZIP!" if possible, 250 words exactly and if it could be ready by next Tuesday, that'd be great. Fanks.

thethinker42 · May 14, 2009

CaroGirl said:
Cool. So, my story's in the mail. I'd prefer "ZING and ZIP!" if possible, 250 words exactly and if it could be ready by next Tuesday, that'd be great. Fanks.

You, um, may want to haggle a price with her BEFORE you send her your story...

Just trust me on this one...

Manix · May 14, 2009

I think this is absolutely true--everything they said, Wayne.

Query letters ARE the bane of existence. I hate to break it to you, man, but you are normal. It's harder to write one of those dang things than to corral a herd of cats into a bath tub.

I thought my brain must've fallen out when I wrote my query--it was two hundred fifty friggen words of crap, crap, and more crap with crap icing on top. Everyone who read it told me so. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I changed my name, I moved to another state, I checked into belly-dancing as a profession instead of writing. Don't you remember my first post here at AW?

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138635
Believe me, I know your pain.

CaroGirl · May 14, 2009

Manix said:
IQuery letters ARE the bane of existence. I hate to break it to you, man, but you are normal. It's harder to write one of those dang things than to corral a herd of cats into a bath tub.

Actually, it's more like trying to put a live octopus into a string bag.

Manix · May 14, 2009

Oh, and just to give you a modicum of hope, the quality of your memoir writing is quite unrelated to your query quality (or lack thereof). They are two different beasts all together. (And you know I've read both)

Wayne K · May 14, 2009

CaroGirl said:
I worked my butt off for months writing my query and synopsis. I sent out my best attempt. I got a great personalized rejection (loved the story but not for us, + suggestions) from a publisher to whom I sent 50 pages that said the quality of my writing and story were not reflected well in the query and synopsis. it!

This is my biggest fear for agents and agencies want just a query letter--I don't think my query skills will give anywhere near what I think I'm capable of if I had a few pages to describe it.

On a side note: I've been writing personal letters to agents the past few days telling them just that.

"...but I think if you were to see my proposal and sample chapters I think you will see that this book...."

Like that.

I don't know if this approach is effective, but it's all I know to do right now. I'm depressed (separate isssue) and I need to keep busy to keep sane--the only thing that I love passionately enough to deflect that depression is my writing.

Thank you all for your responses, I do appreciate them so.

MaLanie1971 · May 14, 2009

I think the "sales" part of this whole journey has been the most surprising. I understand why it has to be done, but it really takes me out of my comfort zone. My husband is a sales exec and when I start the query process again I think I am passing my query over to him!

MaLanie1971 · May 14, 2009

Wayne, I understand that.

scarletpeaches · May 14, 2009

Wayne K said:
This is my biggest fear for agents and agencies want just a query letter--I don't think my query skills will give anywhere near what I think I'm capable of if I had a few pages to describe it.

On a side note: I've been writing personal letters to agents the past few days telling them just that.

"...but I think if you were to see my proposal and sample chapters I think you will see that this book...."

Like that.

I don't know if this approach is effective, but it's all I know to do right now. I'm depressed (separate isssue) and I need to keep busy to keep sane--the only thing that I love passionately enough to deflect that depression is my writing.

Thank you all for your responses, I do appreciate them so.

I wish I'd known you years ago when I first realised this myself.

CaroGirl · May 14, 2009

Wayne K said:
This is my biggest fear for agents and agencies want just a query letter--I don't think my query skills will give anywhere near what I think I'm capable of if I had a few pages to describe it.

Never send a query without pages, as many of them as you can get away with, unless the agent expressly forbids you to send them. Do any of them not want pages?

My standard query package is: query letter, short synopsis, first 2 chapters (or as much of the novel as I can get away with sending). And then I adapt that to what the agent or publisher says on their website that they want.

Ken · May 14, 2009

... writing query letters just takes practise. The first one you write will rot, for sure, and be fit for the trash heap, and little else. By the time you get around to your 3rd or 4th ones, though, you'll have something farily decent on hand. So hop to it and get cracking!

Summonere · May 14, 2009

To quote one of my multi-published, career-novelist, once-upon-a-time instructors:

“Nothing makes a wonderful novel sound more stupid and boring than a query letter.”

Followed by this paraphrase: There is no magic formula. It only has to work.

So, all you have to do is trick someone into believing they must read your story. If the query letter generates a sense of excitement, puts off a Harlan Ellison-like thermonuclear vibe, speaks with an original, vibrant, daring voice, explodes from the page in a great big shazam! of by-god-look-at-that wonder, then you're in. Your job, here, isn't to catalogue events, but to rip out the heart and soul of your story and to leave it still beating and bloody on the page, no matter how many nifty characters and cool events it leaves out or condenses. You can't capture everything. Don't try. It's already in the novel.

Instead, convey the essence of the work and what is important about it in as interesting a way as possible. Sample query letters abound. Read bunches of them.

Here's one for Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook:

http://www.nicholassparks.com/WritersCorner/Query.html

Here's on from a first-timer, Lynn Flewelling, who nabbed a 2-book deal with Bantam (you'll have to scroll down a bit to find it):

http://www.sfwa.org/writing/query.htm

Here's one for another, along with a critique by the agent who picked it up:

http://theswivet.blogspot.com/2008/08/query-dissection-kelly-gays-better-part.html

And so on, and so on.

Good luck.

wannawrite · May 14, 2009

Don't know what to tell you, Wayne, according to all the rules, my query letters suck, but I've gotten a couple of niggles of response. Requests for partials, that kind of crap. They say not to open with rhetoricals, and I do. I also keep my queries very, very brief. Three paragraphs, no more, no less, no matter how involved the novel is. But, then, your rules may be different, because you write mem...memori...memoirs...

Crap. You know what I mean, right?

Anyway, the best advice I have for you has been repeated here, many times. Keep trying. It sucks. Nothing good about a query. Just don't give up.

What wrong with me?

Wayne K

SPMiller

Prodigiously Hanged

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

dgrintalis

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

Ms Hollands

Cow lover

Ms.rachel

CaroGirl

Living the dream

scarletpeaches

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

CaroGirl

Living the dream

scarletpeaches

CaroGirl

Living the dream

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Manix

Mutatis mutandis

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Manix

Mutatis mutandis

Wayne K

MaLanie1971

MaLanie1971

scarletpeaches

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Ken

Summonere

wannawrite