Am I limited to stories that turn me on?

Hmm, I vaguely remember when I was younger having the idea that writing that was primarily about romance was shallow. I don't feel that way now, instead I feel that romantic and erotic psychology make up a huge fraction, maybe more than half, of all human psychology, and that human psychology is the only real source of meaning in writing. It does still take courage to put in the really 'dirty' stuff, like writing a story about an incestuous relationship. And it does make me sad that my writing will never be mainstream, but since I know for a fact that I'm not really interested in writing anything that isn't erotica, maybe it's easier to accept that and move on.

I believe that as a writer or any other kind of artist, you pretty much have to go with whatever subject material gets your brain going - not necessarily in an erotic way, but aesthetic attraction. Some writers are adrenaline junkies who want to vicariously defy death through their characters, some are mystery junkies, or melodrama-aholics, and a LOT of writers love the feeling of playing god and being able to manipulate the world around their characters, or playing mary sue and being able to put themselves into a new world. That's really what the who field of entertainment is about, figuring out how writing, or picture, or music, can trigger our brains to release whatever chemicals we crave to experience. And in many cases the result is really more like medicine than a destructive addiction. People aren't, by nature, content, we all lack something. If entertainment can give us that, it's almost like magic, and one of the greatest things anyone can aspire to create.

A well told story has a market. I'd say write what you find interesting and do your best to make it good.

Well sure, write what 'turns you on' - in as much as any of us likes to write what excites us. What inspires us. If you write well enough, you might have the dillemma of being 'required' to deliver on a timeline - crank out creativity even if you don't feel like it. Time enough for success to suck all the fun out of it

Write what you have inside you. Keep writing. Perhaps you'll stay with erotica, perhaps you'll expand to other genres.

You'll never get the chance if you don't write.

If what you are writing does not turn yourself on, it won't turn anyone else on.

If you don't like who you are writing about, no one else will like them.

And if it makes you feel better: I have a theory that, secretly, most of us either get our starts either by writing really really bad poetry or by writing really really bad erotica.

I know which one I started with!And no, it didn't rhyme or have anything to do with inner darkness of my suburban soul.

Some of us stick with the erotica...and that's a-okay! We need good erotica, just as how we need good horror writers and good YA novelists.

So, stick with what excites you!

I've been writing what excites me (mentally, I don't write erotica anymore...so why the hell am I on this forum? Uh...cause...I am) for about two years and I have...never been published.

But I've only been doing it for two years, so give me time!

Which is what you should give yourself too!

Time.

And don't forget: Never ever stop humping yourself. Masturbation is like the wonder drug of our era! It improves mental concentration, helps you sleep, decreases stress, increases life span, and makes you a better lover.

And that's my PSA for the day.

If my stories have always turned me on, will it be possible for me to write "normal" stories that don't turn me on? Or am I likely to have a very limited window of creativity?

Click to expand...

I'm thinking that, by 'normal', you mean non-sexual stories. I've varied over the years. For a long period of time, I'll write nothing but sexually based stories, and then it will change to completely non-sexual for a long period of time. It depends on where my focus is, what's happening in my life, and other outside influences. Yes, you'll be able to write 'normal' stories. It just depends on if you really want to write them.

Do you get excited by your own stories?

Click to expand...

First drafts should always affect the writer, or it reads flat and unemotional. IMO, of course. Then comes the editing, and here's where I tend to back away from the subject matter and look at the story in a less emotional frame of mind. By the time I hit the final polish, the sex scenes are just words to me. Words I've pretty much memorized. lol

Do you find it comparatively hard to motivate to write other kinds of stories?

Click to expand...

This depends, for me, on what's happening in the rest of my life. I tend to write about things that are going on with me. Right now, for example, I have two small children staying with me (my grandkids). Tying little ones into erotic stories is a little difficult on the muse. That means my writing efforts are less sexual. I don't think it's difficult to switch out of the erotica genre. In fact, sometimes it's difficult to stay within it if I'm trying to finish up a story and have another idea hanging in the wind that isn't erotic in nature.

Will other people, reading what i've written, know that I've been turned on by it if it doesn't have sex? Will it be erotica?
Have any of you been in my shoes?

Click to expand...

I think, if the writing is good enough, the reader forgets there's an author. Some of them, though, will think all this is about the author, and they forget that it's fiction. I've gotten feedback on some of my more outrageous stuff that tells me what a pervert I am, as if I was doing whatever it is that's in the story. Makes me chuckle. To me, that means I've done my job, made it believable and realistic enough that the reader confuses it with reality. Does it turn me on? Sometimes. Depends on the scene. Depends even more on the character in the scene. If the character is one I identify with, yes, it can make things interesting. lol My hubby likes it when I write those scenes.

Been in your shoes? Well, yes, I've wondered at times if I'm just stuck with the naughties. But then I decided it didn't matter, because the naughties are just as legitimate as any other kind of writing. I write about things that fascinate me, and the biggest fascination I have is about passion. Not just sexual passion, but all kinds of emotional excesses. Sometimes, that means sex in the story. Sometimes, it means other kinds of passion. I don't differentiate anymore. I guess I've gone beyond worrying about what kind of story it is, and now worry about the overall picture.

Just my experience.

Hi. Interesting questions you pose. I'm coming at it from the other angle, having written 'sweet' and 'sensuous', but never erotic, before. That, however, is my next project, and I can't wait to get started. I find it a little sad that you feel weird and worry about feeling dirty for your writing. If it brings you pleasure and you are not hurting anyone, what is there to be ashamed of?

I, too, love all of my heros, and yes, they turn me on. I never write a love scene without getting a little hot and bothered, and I don't think that I have cheapened either myself or my stories by admitting that. I'm not trying to write 'high literature'. I just want to tell a fun, naughty, romantic tale the readers will connect with. I want to entertain people, and have them have fun with my characters and words. What is cheap about that?

Also, you are the only one capable of limiting yourself and what you write. Just bear in mind that everybody who writes with the intention of being published does so within a set of strict guidelines. As much as we like to let the muse move us, we all pay attention to word counts, trends, publisher requests, and we carefully word our query letters and agonize over our phrasing when we write a synopsis. The point is, if you genuinely want to be published, at some point you will have to control your characters and their actions, molding them to fit whatever the editor/agent/publisher requires of you, like it or not.

But, then, that's just me talking.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

Wannawrite - High literature often has sex in it, actually. There's just an unwritten rule that it has to be dysfunctional sex.

Meanwell said:

I'm new here and nervous and I frankly don't know why I've waited so long to seek out a forum like this to ask my questions. (please be kind)

Click to expand...

Welcome to you! Here you're among your own kind, so you can relax. Really.

If my stories have always turned me on, will it be possible for me to write "normal" stories that don't turn me on? Or am I likely to have a very limited window of creativity?

Click to expand...

Sure. As you master the craft of writing a good story, you will very probably have ideas for stories that don't revolve around sex or D/s or anything else that's in your current work. Can you imagine your characters, who you adore, in non-sexual situations? Of course you can. Might some of the situations in which you can imagine them be fodder for a story? Yup.

Do you get excited by your own stories?

Click to expand...

Lord, yes. Having to take, ah, breaks when the writing is going well is the norm.

Do you find it comparatively hard to motivate to write other kinds of stories?

Click to expand...

Not really. I generally have at least one major erotica WIP, which consumes much of my writing attention as well as my idle thoughts, plus at least one something-else going simultaneously. Last week I even wrote a little detective story, although I don't know that I like it all that much. No sex at all, just a murder. Go figure, huh?

Will other people, reading what i've written, know that I've been turned on by it if it doesn't have sex? Will it be erotica?

Click to expand...

Know what I learned from the internet? That no matter what arouses a person, there are thousands of others who share that trigger. If it turns you on, it'll turn someone else on, even if it contains no sex. It does become somewhat harder to market as erotica, but that's down the road. For now, write what turns you on.

Have any of you been in my shoes?

Click to expand...

Quite possibly. I buy lots of my shoes at thrift stores. What size do you wear?

Maryn, generally either dirty or funny

sunandshadow said:

Wannawrite - High literature often has sex in it, actually. There's just an unwritten rule that it has to be dysfunctional sex.

Click to expand...

SHIT!

That means my book's never going to be taken seriously! Damn it...

There are alot of people who pretend erotic stories aren't meant to turn people on... that reading them doen't turn them on... and if it does, then its porn. Its kinda like in the Inquisitions when a guy would get a glimpse of ankle, spring a hard on and then the girl whose ankle was seen, was burned at the stake for being a temptress witch... *no lol... its not funny*

Anywho.. what I mean is, if you write stories about subjects you find arousing, don't get bent out of shape worrying what the rest of the world thinks... its okay(aside the taboo subject that might get you lynched to write of). Anywho... secondly, erotica doesnt have to have sex... but it must arouse. Thirdly, who cares what other people think? I am sure people read my stuff and think I got off writing it... maybe I did, maybe I didnt... others might think the opposite and I'm betting most never gave it any thought whatsoever. Anyways... I hope my incoherent answers have given you some sort of help! *lol*

Meanwell said:

I'm new here and nervous and I frankly don't know why I've waited so long to seek out a forum like this to ask my questions. (please be kind):

Click to expand...

Don't be nervous. We all started at one point, pen/pencil quivering over the paper, trying to write our ABC's. Of course, now it's more along the lines of typing your AHX's and the spell checker will fix it.

For as long as I have known how to tell myself stories, I have told stories that turned me on. When I was very little (and a very good girl) these were stories about bad kids who would get in trouble at school and be punished (made to stand in the corner, wear a dunce cap, be spanked, etc.). As I got older I found that writing my stories was even more satisfying than just thinking about them, and I spent a lot of time writing. This was how I discovered masturbation (no one told my eleven year old self about it, I would just write a scene about my characters getting in trouble and suddenly I was twisted up in my sheets and discovered humping felt really good). Generally the stuff that took me over the edge sexually doesn't actually remain in the stories because it isn't believable enough or I am ashamed of it, or it felt too dirty to me, even as a child, to include it.

Click to expand...

We all have been at that point. I've written things that are most likely physically impossible. But, to me, that's part of the fun. You throw enough crap against the wall and wait to see what will stick. However, being ashamed or feeling dirty about it isn't a good thing. You're not hurting anybody with what you write. If you enjoy it, then share it with the world! If there's something you're not comfortable thinking about, then don't write it. Chances are, there are people out there with fetishes that would make you cringe.

As I have grown up my writing has become more sophisticated, but really what still captivates me and the characters that talk in my head, is the dynamics of power. My latest novel in progress (with ~65,000 words written so far) features as a backdrop a society in which there is a secret trial period of enslavement for the privileged boys. I follow my protagonist through this process and the characters are real to me (chat in my head, show me things about themselves, grow, have motivations, fears, desires) in ways that make me think I'm on the right track with this whole writing thing.

Click to expand...

Oh, thank the lord because I thought that only happened to me. Of course, we may be completely nuts and need severe psychological help. I've learned that it helps me to learn more about my characters. If it works, then run with it! GO GO GO!

Except when I think that I'm a fraud. Because really, at the end of the day, I still am aroused by my stories and I feel like that cheapens what I am doing. It's not even about sex! It's not even about the violence. It's generally about the tenderness that comes after the violence or the unjustness of a false accusation, or the weird twisted love in a master/slave relationship.

Click to expand...

No, it doesn't cheapen it at all. Believe me, I've taken several 'breaks' while writing some of my erotica. I think my record was 5 times in one story. So, it's okay and doesn't cheapen it. Besides, if it turns YOU on, it might turn someone else on. Which, in this business, is a good thing.

I have several questions for you other writers:
If my stories have always turned me on, will it be possible for me to write "normal" stories that don't turn me on? Or am I likely to have a very limited window of creativity?

Click to expand...

Feel free to write whatever you want. Until you're a multi-million dollar author, what's stopping you from writing what you want? I've been writing for over twenty years now and have explored every genre. I will advise at least TRYING other genres, before just sticking with one. But, over all, you're not likely to be stuck writing the same thing until the end of time.

Do you get excited by your own stories?

Click to expand...

Oh, dear lord, yes. Too often, I think. I've found that writing out fantasies helps too. I've seen some advice that says you should stick with what you know. But, writing out a fantasy, I've found that it gets the experience out...even if you don't want to ACTUALLY go through with whatever it is.

Do you find it comparatively hard to motivate to write other kinds of stories?

Click to expand...

Nope. I've got a list of stories that I want to write (short stories and a novel) under a variety of genres.

Will other people, reading what i've written, know that I've been turned on by it if it doesn't have sex? Will it be erotica?

Click to expand...

Not necessarily. If you're blatant about it, telling the reader in the intro that you were SERIOUSLY hot when you wrote the scene on page 129, then yes. Otherwise, probably not. Erotica is it's own genre, pretty much revolving around sex.

Have any of you been in my shoes?

Click to expand...

Seriously doubtful. 1. I doubt we've ever met. 2. My feet are most likely entirely too large to fit in your shoes. 3. I think I answered your question further up.

I hope my questions aren't offensive--I think I'm scared (and a little sad) at the thought that my writing might never be mainstream but I don't mean in any way to denigrate the amazing talent and art that goes into a lot of erotica.

Click to expand...

Don't be scared or sad. Mainstream is changing every day. Look at what the top 10 best-sellers were in 1990. Then, 2000. Then look at the current best-seller list. Chances are, it's not all the same types of books. Keep your chin up and love the craft. That's the important part of writing.

I hope this helped at least a little...

tt42 and I had this conversation earlier.

Yes, what we write turns us on. And when we swap chapters to see what the other thinks...yikes.

sunandshadow said:

Wannawrite - High literature often has sex in it, actually. There's just an unwritten rule that it has to be dysfunctional sex.

Click to expand...

So if you are writing dysfunctional sex, you're definitely writing high literature!