worst published book you ever read

[gp101]

This isn't meant to disparage the scribes that have us shaking our heads ("how the hell did s/he get that published!"). But I've often read that it helps to read some bad novels along with the good ones; that you can learn a lot if you can explain to yourself why the damn thing was so bad.

Of course, if a novel I consider really bad and was a chore to get through has sold millions of copies, well that just confuses the hell out of me and puts me back at 1st base, if not the batter's box.

But getting back to the original question: what's the worst published novel you ever read (published the traditional way, not a P.O.D. or web book; one that a publisher actually purchased and printed hard copies)? There are so many I started and put down forever after the first chapter, so how about limiting this to books you made it to at least half-way through or to the end. And why was it so damn bad?

[jules]

It's hard to pin down a worst book, perhaps as hard as it is to pin down a best one... they all have their bad and their good points.

One book that severely annoyed me was "Day of the Dolphin" by Robert Merle, which had flow-of-consciousness style run-on sentences that were over a page long. But the plot, at least, was kind of amusing, and kept me reading through the bad prose.

I recall one book (I've forgotten both title and author, sorry) with a really cliche plot about interplanetary truckers... but it was redeemed by a line of dialogue in the last chapter which went (roughly) "Dude, you just punched God's lights out!".

I tried to read Stephen King's "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon", but by the time I was fifty pages in it hadn't engaged me in the slightest, so it went straight back on the shelf. I rarely don't finish a book I've started reading -- I can't remember the previous one.

[aadams73]

I recall reading a bland romance a few years back--a library book thankgod--then picking up another by the same author a few weeks later. Lo and behold the story was pretty much identical with just the names and title changed. I couldn't believe it.

As for the worst books out there today, well there is one prolific and popular writer out there whose work is so bad that I can't imagine how it sells. But, it's hard to argue with 530 million novels sold.

[oswann]

There are books I didn't read because they were so bad. I started a Clive Cussler which wasn't bad enough for me to laugh at it and not good enough for me to read it.

This is the worst for me, when the book isn't even bad enough to be a parody. And who says editors don't do their jobs? All the real gems stay in the slush. Damn it.


Os.

[scribbler1382]

The Search by Iris Johansen. I bought this because it was marketed as a "thriller", but at about the halfway point it was obvious this was more chicklit than thriller. Nothing wrong with that, unless it's pretending to be something else, which it was. Johansen isn't a bad writer, technically, which enabled me to read the entire book despite realizing I wasn't in Kansas anymore.

[MarkEsq]

The worst book I can think of reading (ok, half-reading) was John Grishom's 'King of Torts.' Perhaps I was disappointed because he's normally pretty entertaining. But this one was just a bore through and through, no conflict, no antagonist to spark my interest. In my humble opinion, he just phoned that one in for some deadline or other.

[write4details]

Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

So you end up reading Silas Marner...REALLY hard to come up with a worse one than that. Or Paradise Lost...oops, no wait, Paradise Regained was much worse. The Brontes would be on my list, but chicks sometimes like them.

I'd put Lord of the Flies and Catcher in the Rye on the forced fed pain list. Talk about BORING.

Canterbury Tales? I used to think schools were trying to make kids stop reading, actually.

[brinkett]

Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

I used to force my way through a bad book on the principle that I should finish what I started, but as I got older and came to appreciate time a little more, I stopped doing that. If a book hasn't engaged me in some way by the end of the first chapter, I move on.

And yes, some of the most boring, bland fiction I've ever read was assigned in high school or college.

[Jamesaritchie]

This isn't meant to disparage the scribes that have us shaking our heads ("how the hell did s/he get that published!"). But I've often read that it helps to read some bad novels along with the good ones; that you can learn a lot if you can explain to yourself why the damn thing was so bad.

Of course, if a novel I consider really bad and was a chore to get through has sold millions of copies, well that just confuses the hell out of me and puts me back at 1st base, if not the batter's box.

But getting back to the original question: what's the worst published novel you ever read (published the traditional way, not a P.O.D. or web book; one that a publisher actually purchased and printed hard copies)? There are so many I started and put down forever after the first chapter, so how about limiting this to books you made it to at least half-way through or to the end. And why was it so damn bad?

When it comes to published novels, 99.99999% of the time good or bad means nothing more than you like it or you don't. I generally think it's pointless, rather silly, and highly disingenuous to label most published books as good or bad, because you're probably wrong either way. No matter how bad you think the book is, there are going to be just as many who love it.

But if you mean which published novel I hated above all others, it's not even a contest. That novel would be Ulysses by James Joyce.

[eldragon]

I'm addicted to reading memoirs .......I usually read anywhere from 3-5 per week. But, if the book stinks .....I put it down.

Just this week alone .....I put down two books. Last night - I started to read 'I am the Central Park Jogger," but put it down because it was boring.


AND ........... "Dandelions in December," a nursing home administrator memoir - which could have great content - as I myself am a nursing home volunteer.......but the way it was written lost my interest.


I have stacks of books to read .....if they don't grab me - I don't waste my time. This week, I have read 3 memoirs already.

"Breathing for a living," About cystic fibrosis.
and two others I can't remember without finding the books.



And last night I started another memoir - 'Learning joy from dogs without collars." It's pretty good.

[katiemac]

Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

I can't think of a bad novel that was assigned in school. Those are some of my favorite authors/novels I've read.

[Lyra Jean]

How about the entire "Left Behind" series. It was like once they got saved they never had any problems anymore. Which is so not true in real life. The authors don't even follow their own story logic and there were quite a few characters who should have died way sooner than they did in the books.

The plot was predictable and the characters were cookie cutter cardboard and thin as paper.

[zizban]

I agree with the poster above; as I get older, I find I have little patience for bad books. If it isn't engaging within 50 or so pages, I put it back on the shelf. I think the worst I ever read was The Rose and the Prophet books by Weis and Hickman. These two are good writers this trilogy positively bored me.

[Nangleator]

I read Ben Bova's Venus and Jupiter recently. Started Venus first. I should not have read it, considering that I'm still trying to sell my own first novel.

I really don't know what happened with Venus. Perhaps he let a friend's kid write it under his name, or I just ran into a problem early on and was far more critical with the rest of it than any other novel, ever. But, dang. I hated that book. Forced myself to finish it, though. The story wasn't too bad, just the prose and the main character.

Somehow I found the courage to read Jupiter immediately after. I couldn't believe how different it was. It's a very fine novel.

For more bad examples, look to the later Stainless Steel Rat novels. I LOVED the first few, then couldn't help but notice the writing style grating on me more and more, while I still enjoyed the characters and the adventures.

[scribbler1382]

I read Ben Bova's Venus and Jupiter recently. Started Venus first. I should not have read it, considering that I'm still trying to sell my own first novel.

I really don't know what happened with Venus. Perhaps he let a friend's kid write it under his name, or I just ran into a problem early on and was far more critical with the rest of it than any other novel, ever. But, dang. I hated that book. Forced myself to finish it, though. The story wasn't too bad, just the prose and the main character.


Oh, dear. I've got Venus at home but haven't gotten to it yet. I quite liked Ben's Moonbase and Moonwar books. Maybe I'll skip to Jupiter. :)

[PattiTheWicked]

After watching the miniseries of the Forsyte Saga, I figured I'd read the book(s). I really tried to like it, I did.

But it freakin' bored me to tears. Even imagining Damiem Lewis as Soames, it still didnt' work for me. Worse yet, I've tried to sell my copy on ebay and Amazon, and no one else wants it either.

[Nangleator]

Oh, dear. I've got Venus at home but haven't gotten to it yet.
By all means give it a try, and compare it to other works of his. I challenge you to like the main character, though. I can't remember specifics, but at least a few times, I got pissed off at science issues, and I'm no scientist.

I wonder if Venus was an unpublished first novel that he dusted off. If so, he should have dusted a little more.

If you're a frustrated novelist, like myself, a comparison with your own work will leave you quite angry with the publishing industry.

[AncientEagle]

I think personal tastes in reading are very much just that, personal, and it's hard to find the reasons behind it. I enjoy John Sandford thrillers, but can't get interested in Stephen King, though I accept the fact that he's a good writer. Just not for me. I have also found that a book I can't read one year, I might, if I stumble across it, enjoy thoroughly the next. I'm not the same person this year that I was last.

[Jonny Ryan Mac]

As for the worst books out there today, well there is one prolific and popular writer out there whose work is so bad that I can't imagine how it sells. But, it's hard to argue with 530 million novels sold.

This has to be about Dan Brown, and even if its not, why do so many writers hate him? I guess its the whole "FACT" Thing he did in his books, his facts seem real relative, but i throughly enjoyed both his Langdon books

[Jamesaritchie]

How about the entire "Left Behind" series. It was like once they got saved they never had any problems anymore. Which is so not true in real life. The authors don't even follow their own story logic and there were quite a few characters who should have died way sooner than they did in the books.

The plot was predictable and the characters were cookie cutter cardboard and thin as paper.

I agree, but next to Harry Potter, I know more people who absolutely love the Left Behind novels than who love anything else out there.

[pepperlandgirl]

I was reading a blog that disected the Left Behind books and did a really wonderful job of it, and I guess I didn't bookmark it. :( But reading through his analysis, it became clear to me that the book wasn't just trite and two dimensional, it could be down-right offensive at times (the first one...he hasn't gotten to the other 48).

I have a friend who thought since I was really into Buffy and Angel, I'd love all things vampires. So she gave me the first Anita Blake book. I know it's a popular series, and people just seem to love it, but man, what a steaming pile of horse apples that book was. First I kept reading because I thought, "God, this has got to get better. Please, let it get better." Then I realized it would not get better, but I kept reading anyway, out of sheer stubborness.

And it's been a few years now, but I remember the premise and the plot actually wasn't so bad. It was her ineffectual, lifeless, soulless prose. Hamilton had (has?) no style to speak of, unless you want to say bad style. Mediocre style.

There might be worse books out there, but I spent the past four years pretty much reading only my Lit books, and I didn't have a problem with any of them.

[MadScientistMatt]

But if you mean which published novel I hated above all others, it's not even a contest. That novel would be Ulysses by James Joyce.

I'm another member of the card-carrying James Joyce Haters' Club. The only one I read was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and I found it painful. It was like listening to a drunken bore tell a long rambling story - with me being stone sober.

[aadams73]

This has to be about Dan Brown, and even if its not, why do so many writers hate him?

Nope, you'd be wrong. He hasn't sold even close to 530 million books. I don't hate Dan Brown, but The DaVinci Code isn't even close to being his best work.
He is capable of better.

[Nangleator]

Oh, anyone bring up the Gor novels yet? Started out okay, if a little sophmoric, but after the first few... Damn! Never seen anyone masturbate so much onto innocent paper.

[scribbler1382]

Nope, you'd be wrong. He hasn't sold even close to 530 million books. I don't hate Dan Brown, but The DaVinci Code isn't even close to being his best work.
He is capable of better.

I agree on this. While I liked The DaVinci Code well enough, I find it hard to understand the popularity of it over a ton of other books I could mention. I've read all of Dan Brown's books, and actually prefer Deception Point and Digital Fortress over his religion-themed novels.

[Liam Jackson]

I'm another member of the card-carrying James Joyce Haters' Club. The only one I read was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and I found it painful. It was like listening to a drunken bore tell a long rambling story - with me being stone sober.

Ah, with all due respect, Matt, (and I do respect your opinions) your first mistake was attempting to read James Joyce while you were "stone sober." Let that be a lesson to you, young man. I have the same trouble with James Patterson. Amazing what a six-pack of Guinness or three fingers of Chivas Regal can do to enhance author palatability.

[jules]

Oh, anyone bring up the Gor novels yet? Started out okay, if a little sophmoric, but after the first few... Damn! Never seen anyone masturbate so much onto innocent paper.

Ah, yes. I've only read 2 of them -- the titles were Priest Kings of Gor and Hunters of Gor. The first one was kind of interesting; a main character on a quest to find his lost love, and some interesting aliens. Somehow by the time he gets to the second one, he's no longer human. He turns away from a woman he's supposed to love because she suggests to him a sensible way of getting her out of a bad situation. What?

Needless to say, I didn't read any more.

[willietheshakes]

I agree, but next to Harry Potter, I know more people who absolutely love the Left Behind novels than who love anything else out there.

But popularity has nothing to do with quality...

[MadScientistMatt]

Ah, with all due respect, Matt, (and I do respect your opinions) your first mistake was attempting to read James Joyce while you were "stone sober." Let that be a lesson to you, young man. I have the same trouble with James Patterson. Amazing what a six-pack of Guinness or three fingers of Chivas Regal can do to enhance author palatability.

Thanks. That explains it. But something must be done about our high drinking age then, since this means that many of our high school students will be assigned his books without legally being allowed to properly appreciate them.

[Aconite]

And it's been a few years now, but I remember the premise and the plot actually wasn't so bad. It was her ineffectual, lifeless, soulless prose. Hamilton had (has?) no style to speak of, unless you want to say bad style. Mediocre style.

Oh, it's gotten worse. Much, much, much worse. Incubus Dreams, the latest AB, was so vile in so many ways.... Plot? What plot? Editing? Anne Rice doesn't need it, so neither do I! Continuity? Feh! Proofreading? Feh! It was like really bad fan fiction written by someone typing with one hand because the other was...occupied...and then posted verbatim.

As I tell people repeatedly, there have been a handful of books I've thrown across the room, but ID was the only book I've ever thrown and then stomped on.

[Lenora Rose]

I was reading a blog that disected the Left Behind books and did a really wonderful job of it, and I guess I didn't bookmark it. :( But reading through his analysis, it became clear to me that the book wasn't just trite and two dimensional, it could be down-right offensive at times (the first one...he hasn't gotten to the other 48).


http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/left_behind/index.html

(Start from the bottom and work upward. It's revealing - and addictive. The person writing is himself an Evangelical Christian, so it's not just "an unbeliever's rants".)

[Jamesaritchie]

But popularity has nothing to do with quality...

Really? Then what does have to do with quality? If popularity has nothing to do with quality, does this mean unpopularity makes quality?

I think popularity has everything to do with quality, except to those writers who aren't popular, and to those readers who wish to bypass popular fiction because of some weird notion about what does make quality.

The combination of popularity and the test of time are, I believe, the ONLY determiners of quality.

The novels we now consider classics were nearly all very popular in their time. The novels that have vanished without trace over the centuries were nearly all very unpopular in their time.

The reading public may not get it right every time, bu tthey usually know the difference between popcorn and steak, and over time it will be the reaidng public that decides what is and isn't quality.

Give me a hundred popular novels, and you pick a hundred novel you think are quality for any other reason, and let's look at where those novels stand fifty years from now. If history teaches us anything, it's that today's popular novels will be tomorrow's classic, high-quality novels.

[Jamesaritchie]

I recall reading a bland romance a few years back--a library book thankgod--then picking up another by the same author a few weeks later. Lo and behold the story was pretty much identical with just the names and title changed. I couldn't believe it.

As for the worst books out there today, well there is one prolific and popular writer out there whose work is so bad that I can't imagine how it sells. But, it's hard to argue with 530 million novels sold.

Actually, I don't think he's sold 20 million copies yet. Last time I checked only one writer has sold 500 million copies of her novels, and this is all her novels combined. And it isn't J.K. Rowling.

[Jamesaritchie]

Ah, with all due respect, Matt, (and I do respect your opinions) your first mistake was attempting to read James Joyce while you were "stone sober." Let that be a lesson to you, young man. I have the same trouble with James Patterson. Amazing what a six-pack of Guinness or three fingers of Chivas Regal can do to enhance author palatability.

My experience is that Joyce is only a little better when I'm drunk, but at least he is a good excuse to break out the Jameson.

[azbikergirl]

St. Patrick's Gargoyle by Kathryn Kurtz (sp?). Ugh. I got about a third of the way into it and gave up. No conflict, nothing interesting was happening. *yawn*

[alanna]

Actually, I don't think he's sold 20 million copies yet. Last time I checked only one writer has sold 500 million copies of her novels, and this is all her novels combined. And it isn't J.K. Rowling.

who? who? i'm curious enough to make myself sound like an owl.

the book i dislike the most? hmm...that would be any book that I have not been able to bring myself to finish reading due to the physical pain it was causingme to turn a page. The only one I can think of off the top of my head is The Once and Future King. There are others, i've just blocked them out of my memory to aviod reliving the experience.

oh! i remember! unfortunately.

i absolutely detest this book, although i give cudos to whoever came up with the title. A Breathtaking Work of Staggering Genius. i think that's what it was called. sorry if I got it wrong! bad. bad. bad. bad. at first it was intriguing, but as the book went on...bad. i didn't finish it. There are very few times I don't finish a book.

[Senta]

I think Ulysses is very funny. I am absolutely bored to death by conventional narrative. so unlike life! so unrealistic!


I like my mind to be free.

I love reading something I've never even thought of before. I hate repetition.

[willietheshakes]

[QUOTE=Jamesaritchie]Really? Then what does have to do with quality? If popularity has nothing to do with quality, does this mean unpopularity makes quality?

I think popularity has everything to do with quality, except to those writers who aren't popular, and to those readers who wish to bypass popular fiction because of some weird notion about what does make quality.

The combination of popularity and the test of time are, I believe, the ONLY determiners of quality.

The novels we now consider classics were nearly all very popular in their time. The novels that have vanished without trace over the centuries were nearly all very unpopular in their time.
[QUOTE]

I think we'll have to agree to disagree, james. In my opinion, using sales and popularity as a measure of quality is analagous to using box office as a measure of a film's quality -- to my mind, it's ludicrous.

Do you really believe that The DaVinci Code is a better novel than Phillip Roth's The Plot Against America? That it may be, in fact, the best novel of all time? Because that's the logical extension of your argument...

Do you believe that The Celestine Prophecy is a better book than ... I don't know, John Crowley's Little, Big? That the latest Danielle Steel or Jonathan Kellerman is better than the latest Paul Auster or John Irving?

Put it another way - do you believe that Brittney Spears is better than John Lee Hooker or Bob Dylan by virtue of their record sales? That the Backstreet Boys are better than Neil Young or the White Stripes? That Star Wars Episode Three is a better film than Before Sunset because it had a better opening weekend?

I understand and appreciate your championing of subjective responses to art, but I believe you go too far. Mass popularity is not a sure indicator of quality.
And as far as popularity over time, here are the top-selling titles from 1990-1998, according to PW:
1990 The Plains of Passage (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=The+Plains+of+Passage&an=Auel&sortby=2), Jean M. Auel
1991 Scarlett: The Sequel to Margaret Mitchell's "Gone with the Wind (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Scarlet&an=Alexandra+Ripley&sortby=2), Alexandra Ripley
1992 Dolores Claiborne (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Dolores+Claiborne&an=Stephen+King&sortby=2), Stephen King
1993 The Bridges of Madison County (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=The+Bridges+of+Madison+County&an=Waller&sortby=2), Robert James Waller
1994 The Chamber (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=The+Chamber&an=John+Grisham&sortby=2), John Grisham
1995 The Rainmaker (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=The+Rainmaker&an=John+Grisham&sortby=2), John Grisham
1996 The Runaway Jury (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Runaway+Jury&an=John+Grisham&sortby=2), John Grisham
1997 The Partner (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Partner&an=John+Grisham&sortby=2), John Grisham
1998 The Street Lawyer (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Street+Lawyer&an=John+Grisham&sortby=2), John Grisham

Do you really think that these were the best books published in that decade?

And as to the most popular books being the ones with the greatest longevity (and therefore the greatest quality), here are the bestselling books from 1915-1929:
1915 The Turmoil (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Turmoil&an=Booth+Tarkington&sortby=2), Booth Tarkington
1916 Seventeen (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Seventeen&an=Booth+Tarkington&sortby=2), Booth Tarkington
1917 Mr. Britling Sees It Through (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Mr+Britling+Sees+It+Through&an=H+G+Wells&sortby=2), H. G. Wells
1918 The U. P. Trail (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=U+P+Trail&an=Zane+Grey&sortby=2), Zane Grey
1919The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Four+Horsemen+Apocalypse&an=V+Blasco+Ibañez&sortby=2), V. Blasco Ibañez
1920 The Man of the Forest (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Man+of+Forest&an=Zane+Grey&sortby=2), Zane Grey
1921 Main Street (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Main+Street&an=Sinclair+Lewis&sortby=2), Sinclair Lewis
1922 If Winter Comes (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=If+Winter+Comes&an=A+S+M+Hutchinson&sortby=2), A.S.M. Hutchinson
1923 Black Oxen (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Black+Oxen&an=Gertrude+Atherton&sortby=2), Gertrude Atherton
1924 So Big (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=So+Big&an=Edna+Ferber&sortby=2), Edna Ferber
1925 Soundings (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Soundings&an=A+Hamilton+Gibbs&sortby=2), A. Hamilton Gibbs
1926 The Private Life of Helen of Troy (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Private+Life+Helen+Troy&an=John+Erskine&sortby=2), John Erskine
1927 Elmer Gantry (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Elmer+Gantry&an=Sinclair+Lewis&sortby=2), Sinclair Lewis
1928 The Bridge of San Luis Rey (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=Bridge+San+Luis+Rey&an=Thornton+Wilder&sortby=2), Thornton Wilder
1929 All Quiet on the Western Front (http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?ph=2&tn=All+Quiet+Western+Front&an=Erich+Maria+Remarque&sortby=2), Erich Maria Remarque

Certainly some good books there (a great run from 27-29), but where's The Great Gatsby? The Sun Also Rises? The first book of Dos Passos' USA trilogy?

As I mentioned above, I guess I disagree with you.

[scribbler1382]

who? who? i'm curious enough to make myself sound like an owl.


I'd wager a guess that it's Agatha Christie.

[scribbler1382]

I'd wager a guess that it's Agatha Christie.
I couldn't stand the suspense, so I went to answers.com and HOLY CRAP!

Agatha Christie is the world's best-known mystery writer and all-time best selling author of any genre other than William Shakespeare (http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?method=4&dsid=2222&dekey=William+Shakespeare&gwp=8&curtab=2222_1). Her books have sold over a billion copies in the English language (http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?method=4&dsid=2222&dekey=English+language&gwp=8&curtab=2222_1) and another billion in over 45 foreign languages (as of 2003). As an example of her broad appeal, she is the all-time best-selling author in France, with over 40 million copies sold in French (http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?method=4&dsid=2222&dekey=French+language&gwp=8&curtab=2222_1) (as of 2003) versus 22 million for Émile Zola (http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?method=4&dsid=2222&dekey=%C3%89mile+Zola&gwp=8&curtab=2222_1), the nearest contender.

Yes, that's over 2 billion copies in print. <boggle>

[Senta]

thank you willietheshakes.

in my experience there is usually NO relationship between quality and popularity good can be popular or unpopular, same for bad.

these categories are simply on completely different strings of the universe

(not just in writing, just think of beer and t shirts)

[alanna]

I couldn't stand the suspense, so I went to answers.com and HOLY CRAP!


Yes, that's over 2 billion copies in print. <boggle>

oooooooooooooh. agatha christie? ::cough:: i guess i should read one of her books...lol.

[ted_curtis]

An interesting question. For me, the higher the expectation, the worse it can be. So the Left Behind series and DaVinci Code I didn't expect fine writing or stellar plots, so I wasn't overly disappointed.

But recently I read a SF book from a small publisher which I had read a review of in the city paper. It took forever to track down a copy, and I was extremely disappointed, mostly because it could have been so much better. Whole sub-plots dropped in and out of sight. There was a creepy homoerotic subtext but also unexpected Christian commentary. People's motivations were cryptic. But it had a great idea and solid prose. It could have been great. And somehow that's more frustrating than a big mess.

[Birol]

I've only ever started two books that I couldn't bring myself to finish: Picture This by Joseph Heller and Scarlett: The Sequel to Margaret Mitchell's "Gone With the Wind" by Stephens Mitchell. Fortunately, I'd found both at used bookstores, so it didn't hurt quite so much.

[Lady_Galadriel623]

i usually hang out over at the greeting card part of the forum, but was going thru the other parts. I do have a novel in the works and hope to write magazine articles eventually too. I had to respond to this! I hated Anita Blake too! I thought it was soooooooo cliched and sounded like a flaky detective show you'd see on tv. I am a vamp fan too, but not of that novel, lol!



I was reading a blog that disected the Left Behind books and did a really wonderful job of it, and I guess I didn't bookmark it. :( But reading through his analysis, it became clear to me that the book wasn't just trite and two dimensional, it could be down-right offensive at times (the first one...he hasn't gotten to the other 48).

I have a friend who thought since I was really into Buffy and Angel, I'd love all things vampires. So she gave me the first Anita Blake book. I know it's a popular series, and people just seem to love it, but man, what a steaming pile of horse apples that book was. First I kept reading because I thought, "God, this has got to get better. Please, let it get better." Then I realized it would not get better, but I kept reading anyway, out of sheer stubborness.

And it's been a few years now, but I remember the premise and the plot actually wasn't so bad. It was her ineffectual, lifeless, soulless prose. Hamilton had (has?) no style to speak of, unless you want to say bad style. Mediocre style.

There might be worse books out there, but I spent the past four years pretty much reading only my Lit books, and I didn't have a problem with any of them.

[hoyateach]

Ah, with all due respect, Matt, (and I do respect your opinions) your first mistake was attempting to read James Joyce while you were "stone sober." Let that be a lesson to you, young man. I have the same trouble with James Patterson. Amazing what a six-pack of Guinness or three fingers of Chivas Regal can do to enhance author palatability.

I was wondering when someone was going to mention Patterson. His "writing" gives me a headache. It's more a plot outline than a story (which, he admitted, is how he started -- he wrote an outline with scraps of dialogue for his first Alex Cross novel and decided he liked the pacing and made only minimal additions to it).

[PattiTheWicked]

I had to respond to this! I hated Anita Blake too! I thought it was soooooooo cliched and sounded like a flaky detective show you'd see on tv.

I liked the first Anita Blake book, but then it got to be just the same ol' same ol' in the next few books... only in books two through five she whines about how desperately she wants to have sex, but she's only having it with the vampire and the werewolf, and she feels sooooo bad about having it with both of them. Anita tends to whine a lot.

After book five, it's just porn. Hamilton throws in a lot of stuff that makes you wonder if Anita's into bestiality, necrophilia, S&M and orgies, all of which might be interesting if they were well written.

But if you've read one, you've pretty much read them all.

[Lenora Rose]

But recently I read a SF book from a small publisher which I had read a review of in the city paper. It took forever to track down a copy, and I was extremely disappointed, mostly because it could have been so much better. Whole sub-plots dropped in and out of sight. There was a creepy homoerotic subtext but also unexpected Christian commentary. People's motivations were cryptic. But it had a great idea and solid prose. It could have been great. And somehow that's more frustrating than a big mess.

Offhand Guess - Marie Jakober's The Black Chalice? If not, it's very similar in its flaws.

Not by any means the worst book I've ever read. Well written, good tragedy, but even in my exploring-Paganism phase I really rankled at books that tried to say All Christianity bad/destructive/oppressive, all Pagans good/nature-loving/equalizing.

[Dawno]

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

It was a Headaching Read of Staggering Dullness for Dawno

I also remember picking up a book that had just won the Pulitzer, I believe, and got about 10 pages into it before tossing it aside. Worst $20+ I ever spent. I guess I'm not much into literary fiction.

'Scuze me whilst I get back to my JD Robb :) Dallas and Roarke are probably gonna have sex again....

[aadams73]

I'd wager a guess that it's Agatha Christie.

Nope, that wasn't who I was referrring to.

[Jamesaritchie]

who? who? i'm curious enough to make myself sound like an owl.
.

It's Danielle Steel. Last time I had checked, she was at 480,000,000. Now she's at 530,000,000. This is a huge number. It's more than J. K. Rowling, Stephen King, Dan Brown, and John Grisham combined. Or about the same number as J. K. Rowling and Nora Roberts combined.

In other words, I doubt she has to worry about paying her electric bill on time.

[aadams73]

It's Danielle Steel. Last time I had checked, she was at 480,000,000. Now she's at 530,000,000.

Amazing figure, isn't it? Like I said, I find her books to be just awful and she is the queen of poorly placed...ellipses. But, how can I argue with those kinds of sales figures? The woman clearly knows how to write a book that people want to buy.

[alanna]

oooh...another author i haven't read anything by. Where have I been oh popular literature? thanks for the info.

[Jamesaritchie]

Amazing figure, isn't it? Like I said, I find her books to be just awful and she is the queen of poorly placed...ellipses. But, how can I argue with those kinds of sales figures? The woman clearly knows how to write a book that people want to buy.

I've read a goodly number of her novels. Some I've really disliked, some few I've liked, and a couple I've liked a lot.

From my point of view, Steel is one of those writers who has little talent for writing itself, but who has a good deal of talent for telling the kind of story many want to read, and for filling that story with pretty decent characters.

[Richard]

Also, so many books that she basically only had to sell one copy of each to get that total.

[aadams73]

I've read a goodly number of her novels. Some I've really disliked, some few I've liked, and a couple I've liked a lot.



James, which of those have you liked a lot? Perhaps I've read the wrong ones, I've only read 4 or 5.

[Roger J Carlson]

Well, I feel compelled to mention Atlanta Nights.

However, a close second was a book I read in the 70's called "Humanity Prime" by Bruce McAllister. It was so bad, I had to keep it.

Of rich and/or famous authors, I'd have to say most of Piers Anthony's works. I liked the first three or four Xanth books, but most of the rest of his books are dismal. What frosts me the most is how much he complains about how the publishing industry has done him dirt. He's a millionaire from his books. What does he want?

If you really want to become depressed about the publishing industry, read his second autobiography "How Precious Was That While." In it he details the money he's made in the business, how every publisher has injured him, and how stupid everyone in the industry (except him) is. But PLEASE take his conclusions with a large grain of salt!

[aadams73]

I recall an incident as told to me by my mother. She stood in line at the library (while pregnant with me) behind an elderly woman. This older woman slammed a copy of Henry Miller's "Tropic of Cancer" (or maybe Capricorn) down on the counter in front of the librarian and shouted, "This book was pure filth from cover to cover!"

As my mother asked, why read the whole book it if it offends you so much? She must have liked the "filth" is all I can figure.

[aruna]

I didn't think I'd be able to contribute to this thread because, though I've read a lot of bad books, or books I've disliked, I couldn't think of one that qualified as "worst published". But today I went to the library and took out a heap of books, mostly quality ones which I always wanted to read, and one which has been hyped to the stars; I've heard so much about it I wanted to read it out of curiosity.

PS I Love You by Cecilia Ahern is so bad it's hilarious. Honestly. I can't stop reading just because of the entertainment value. Here are some samples:

" Holly expained about the woman in the salon and they both rolled around laughing."

"No Abbey," squealed Emily loudly, "You're not doing what I tell you," and she burst into tears. This was shortly followed by a loud guffaw from Richard; he must have cracked a joke because he was the only one laughing."

"No, Holly, you're supposed to ignore him!" hissed Denise, and dragged her by the arm onto the couch where they all surrounded her and immediately started thrusting presents in her face."

"Holly awoke with her head pounding. Her mouth was as dry as Gandhi's sandal and her vision was impaired."

In the first chapter of this book, the heroine, Holly, is drowning in grief because her husband has died. She won't even leave the house. Two chapters later she is on a spending spree, clubbing, getting drunk, laughing hysterically with her mates because she gets a battery-operated dildo as a birthday present, and not a word more of her grief. There are pages and pages of inane chatter between relatives, and...

but read it for yourself, folks, you'll love it! This gets my prize! It also tells me a LOT about the publishing industry.

The author of this book is 22 (or was when she got published) and very telegenic; she is also the daughter of Ireland's prime Minister (but, she says, he did not help her to get published, she did it all on her own, with the sheer quality of her writing.) She has received million dollar advances and a film contract.

It is a bestseller here in the UK.

[stormie]

I was wondering when someone was going to mention Patterson. His "writing" gives me a headache. It's more a plot outline than a story (which, he admitted, is how he started -- he wrote an outline with scraps of dialogue for his first Alex Cross novel and decided he liked the pacing and made only minimal additions to it).

I have to agree. Patterson churns out two-three books a year (one of them being a kid's book), and just thumbing through them I feel like taking the book and throwing it against the bookstore wall. Only one of his novels I made it all the way through (in one sitting) and quickly donated it to the local library. It was given to me as a gift.

So I'd say Patterson, the novel that takes place at a beach.

[alanna]

[QUOTE=Roger J Carlson]Well, I feel compelled to mention Atlanta Nights.

[QUOTE]

lol! :)

[Jonny Ryan Mac]

This is tough, but id have to say that the books that dont get my juices flowing are most of the Epic fantasy Genre. I read four or five pages and just collapse in the wording, they get into everything. (one of them had a three page spead that olny covered a person blinking.)
Maybe some people like that, and i'm proud of you, cause it takes a big head to comsume all that info and still stay on track with the plot. But when i struggle for days to finish book one and find out that there are 13 more, all of which are progressively bigger, i just shutter.
All that description, all that time, sometimes i wonder if somethings wrong with me? Is it me? Do i just not have the skill in reading these tomes? Any one else hate the, as Uncle Jim said once, "Cinderblock Tomes"?

[gp101]

I couldn't find the book that I thought was the worst when I originally posed the question of the worst novel. But the authors that leave me shaking my head include:

Patterson (he's taking a beating here); how many two-page chapters is someone allowed? Started two or three of his novels, never finished any of them. Done.

Cussler. Dirk Pitt has to be the most nauseating character name in pop lit today. His books are a good study on cliches though. I hear his fans are rabid but I'm all set with him. No more C.C. for me.

And Wilbur Smith. His plots and storylines are wonderful and kept me reading to the end. But his dialogue and prose get thumbs down. They border the realm of silliness. I read three of his books because of the plots, but I can't take the shortfalls. I'm done with him. Maybe a case where an editor failed his/her author?

[Jamesaritchie]

Well, I feel compelled to mention Atlanta Nights.

However, a close second was a book I read in the 70's called "Humanity Prime" by Bruce McAllister. It was so bad, I had to keep it.

Of rich and/or famous authors, I'd have to say most of Piers Anthony's works. I liked the first three or four Xanth books, but most of the rest of his books are dismal. What frosts me the most is how much he complains about how the publishing industry has done him dirt. He's a millionaire from his books. What does he want?

If you really want to become depressed about the publishing industry, read his second autobiography "How Precious Was That While." In it he details the money he's made in the business, how every publisher has injured him, and how stupid everyone in the industry (except him) is. But PLEASE take his conclusions with a large grain of salt!

I feel the same way about Piers Anthony. I liked the first three or four Xanth novels. I didn't think the writing was very good, but Anthony's imagination was great, and this alone kept me reading. But when the new wore off, I never could get through another of his novels.

He complains about being blackballed because publishers only want his xanth books, and wouldn't take those for a short time. I think it's just that editors simply don't like his novels. If I were the editor, I wouldn't buy them, either. At least none outside the Xanth books. Of all the rich and famous writers out there, I find his novels to be the worst written by a wide margin. But I do think he's extremly imaginative, and the Xanth books were different enough to sell, and to draw some fans. But the wriitng is just appalling.

[Carlene]

Like so many other here, I do not have the patience for bad books anymore. If it doesn't grab in me 50 pages - it goes back on the shelf. My vote for worst? "The Bridges of Madison County!" I laughed so hard through out that book I nearly busted ... something!

Carlene

[Saanen]

Ooh, no one's mentioned Umberto Eco's "Foucoult's Pendulum"? Is it just me, then? I think he's a good writer and I tried very hard to get into that book, but he was so purposefully dense I couldn't even understand who the main character was supposed to be, much less what was going on. I heard that Eco was interviewed about the book and sneered that people didn't understand it because they weren't smart enough (or something to that end, anyway). That makes me mad on two levels: I know I'm smart enough to read a simple fiction book, and it's the writer's job to make the writing accessible to the reader, not the other way round.

I don't think that's the worst book I've ever read, but it's the only one that comes immediately to mind.

[slowjames]

Lots of books written by "celebrities" masquerading as authors come to mind. Have a look at "Starcrossed" by a TV and food critic in the UK called A A Gill if you want to see an example of how not to write!

[MadScientistMatt]

Ooh, no one's mentioned Umberto Eco's "Foucoult's Pendulum"? Is it just me, then?

Probably not... maybe I was trying to repress the memory, or maybe it didn't compete with James Joyce. I started reading Foucoult's Pendulum and didn't get very far before concluding it was close to unreadable. It took me a while before I worked up the courage to try The Name of the Rose, which was a lot better. Interestingly, I found that one of his historical characters in there actually says several lines that were verbatim from a book the character actually wrote in real life.

[Jamesaritchie]

Like so many other here, I do not have the patience for bad books anymore. If it doesn't grab in me 50 pages - it goes back on the shelf. My vote for worst? "The Bridges of Madison County!" I laughed so hard through out that book I nearly busted ... something!

Carlene

I have to admit this. The first time I read Bridges, I really enjoyed it. The story hooked me, and so did the two main characters. I can fully understand why it stayed a bestseller for so long.

It was only on the second reading that I realized how bad the writing was, particularly the dialogue. I simply could not get through it a second time, no matter how hard I tried. But while I might well list it near the very bottom for writing quality, I do think it had a great story and a couple of very good characters, so I still think it did the job a novel is supposed to do, which is attract and entertain a huge group of readers.

[Jamesaritchie]

Ooh, no one's mentioned Umberto Eco's "Foucoult's Pendulum"? Is it just me, then? I think he's a good writer and I tried very hard to get into that book, but he was so purposefully dense I couldn't even understand who the main character was supposed to be, much less what was going on. I heard that Eco was interviewed about the book and sneered that people didn't understand it because they weren't smart enough (or something to that end, anyway). That makes me mad on two levels: I know I'm smart enough to read a simple fiction book, and it's the writer's job to make the writing accessible to the reader, not the other way round.

I don't think that's the worst book I've ever read, but it's the only one that comes immediately to mind.

Hmmm. I liked "The Name of the Rose" quite a bit, but haven't tried Pendulum. Is it really that much worse than Rose?

[MadScientistMatt]

Hmmm. I liked "The Name of the Rose" quite a bit, but haven't tried Pendulum. Is it really that much worse than Rose?

If it were not for the name on the cover, I would think they were two different writers.

[Codger]

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs. So rambling and disjointed, it defines "unreadable" for me. How this sloppy, filthy piece of garbage ever got published is a mystery. There was a whole clique of "beat" writers that I, in general, feel are highly overrated. His "Naked Lunch" is just the worst example I can think of at the moment.

This is not to say that there aren't worse books around - only that it's much more difficult to excuse bad writing from authors who should know better.

[MadScientistMatt]

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs. So rambling and disjointed, it defines "unreadable" for me. How this sloppy, filthy piece of garbage ever got published is a mystery.

Perhaps it was meant to go after the lucrative "We'll buy anything with a title that includes the word 'naked'" crowd.

[Lyra Jean]

Although I've heard all the book mentioned thus far I haven't read any of them. Does this mean I'm not well read or that I'm just lucky. Haha

[espz]

Can't believe no one has mentioned Barbara Cartland!?!?!?

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Cartland :

Barbara Cartland's image as a self-appointed "expert" on romance led to her being much ridiculed in her later years, but her novels were undoubtedly very successful (she sold over 1 billion books!). Her publishers estimate that she produced a total of 724 titles.

[DTKelly]

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Horribly written (in my opinion) and there were several gaping holes that I can't possibly think of now, but I remember that as I read I kept muttering 'but what about this?'

[PattiTheWicked]

Can't believe no one has mentioned Barbara Cartland!?!?!?



Oooh! Oooh! Anything by Virginia Henley gets my vote!

:::falls down, gags:::

[Diane]

Ooh, no one's mentioned Umberto Eco's "Foucoult's Pendulum"? Is it just me, then? I think he's a good writer and I tried very hard to get into that book, but he was so purposefully dense I couldn't even understand who the main character was supposed to be, much less what was going on.

I actually really liked Foucault's Pendulum, but I had one piece of advice I gave to everyone else I knew who'd tried to read it and given up: skip the first chapter. In fact, I can't remember if I went back and read it. Start at 2. Seriously.

[zarch]

On Patterson: his books are much like movies that feature lots of police chases, loud music, and explosions. If you're looking for life-changing prose, don't pick up Patterson's books. If you'd like maybe to be entertained for a few hours, go for it. I, personally, have read several of his books and would say that he is not a good writer. BUT some of his work is entertaining. Also, I should say that I've never actually purchased his books.

Okay, what about Christopher Rice? I read A Density of Souls a couple of years ago. True, he wrote this as a teenager (I think), but oh my goodness...how many catastrophes can possibly happen in 300 pages? It got to the point where I had to suspend belief...and it's not even a fantasy novel.

And Iris Johansen (sp?)...ick...I read a few pages of one of her novels and then put the book under the kitchen table to keep it level.

Okay, I'll stop now. I have a few dozen rejection letters I need to file.

[Garpy]

Aaarghh. Dan Brown's writing style is painfully cheesey. His characters I also find paper-thin stereotypes....hell, his characters are simply stolen. Take the Da Vinci protagonist.....what's his name?...Langton? Langford?...well anyway, that's basically Indiana Jones. If I recall he even describes him as 'a poor man's Harrison Ford'.

What grates still further is that the one strong element of Da Vinci, namely the preimise, was lifted wholesale from The Holy Blood, The Holy Grail.

So for now, I think I'll nominate Da Vinci, but I'm well aware there are plenty worse books out there....it's just that they're not quite as high profile.

Oh....and in second place, any of the Harry Potter books. I find the narrative voice really, really irritating.

Ahem....I'll go get my coat.

[D.J.]

I have stacks of books to read .....if they don't grab me - I don't waste my time. This week, I have read 3 memoirs already.

"Breathing for a living," About cystic fibrosis.
and two others I can't remember without finding the books.

.

Sorry, but were you saying that you liked the C.F. book? I have a neice with C.F., so the title caught my attention. Didn't know if it was worth the effort to find it?

[WannabeWriter]

Among medical thrillers, Seizure by Robin Cook was one of the absolute worst. I literally skimmed pages just to get to the end that turned out to be just as crappy.

And yes, reading bad books teaches you how not to write. :)

[JerseyGirl1962]

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Horribly written (in my opinion) and there were several gaping holes that I can't possibly think of now, but I remember that as I read I kept muttering 'but what about this?'

I have to admit I really liked Neverwhere. Likeable characters, the story moved along at a good pace...it's all subjective, naturally.

Which brings me to Neil Gaiman's American Gods. Never finished it. Got to about Chapter 5 or so, and put it down. I don't know if it was more that I couldn't stand the characters or that the characters endlessly (to me anyway) spewed curses - not that I'm a prude or anything, and I guess he was trying to show what low, grimy characters Shadow and Mr. Wednesday (or whatever day the week he called himself) were, but, jeez, was it really necessary to use 4 letter words in almost every paragraph?

I started re-reading a series.

Oh...there was one character, a female Russian, who was moderately interesting, now that I think of it. But the story was fixated on Shadow & Mr. Wednesday. And what was it with those asides of other gods/goddesses? I didn't know where that was going to fit in and ended up not caring.

Oofah...

That wasn't the only book I put down this year, and I'm the type to see such things through. I also put down Book 4 of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series, The Shadow Rising. The first 3 books weren't bad, but jeez Louise, having that one woman (Nynaeve, I think) pulling on her braid all the time and having Mat so whiny...I just couldn't take it anymore, and put it down after 1/3 of the way through.

Just my 2 U.S. cents, of course. :tongue

~Nancy

[Avalon]

It's probably heresy, but ...ack, I forget the title... by Philip Jose Farmer. I hated it so much, I actually got off a bus to throw the book into a trash can. I kid you not. I don't remember why I hated it, mind you, but I do remember that bus fare was a lot of money for me, back then -- not to mention the time sacrificed to wait for the next bus. With nothing to read.

Of course, I was young then, and inclined toward the absurd. Still am, come to think of it. Inclined toward the absurd, that is; no longer young.

[P.H.Delarran]

One of my most recent disappointing reads was Anne Tyler's, Back When We Were Grownups. I paced on through page after page of bore because at some point there had been a promise of an interesting story. (And because I am also one that strives to finish once I've started.) Grrr..I finished allright, and threw the book across the room. What a waste of time. If there was a point to the book, (and I would expect one from such a popular Author), it was lost on me.

[StormWarning]

Kristin Gore, Kristin Gore, Kristin Gore...what's in a name? Enough to get a sophomoric attempt at fiction published in hardcover and picked up by Columbia Pictures.

[Mike Martyn]

We had visitors this past weekend and one of them was reading the newest harry Potter book. I opened it and read a couple of pages at random.

Frankly, if I were to take those pages and change the names (to ones that didn't sound so silly) and submit those pages to the critique site on this forum, they would rip me to shreds.

Admittedly, I only read a few pages and not the whole book so that may not be fair but then again isn't that how editors judge a work, by just a few pages?

I can think of worse books but in my view, Harry Potter would be right up there.

[AndreaGS]

I'd say Winter's Heart by Robert Jordan. I knew


*SPOILER ALERT*

that Rand was goint to cleanse saidin by the end, and, frankly, that's the only thing that kept me wading through this mess. Imagine my disappointment when the act of Rand cleansing saidin consisted of the very last pages. I was flipping through, wondering "wait a second, he's only got x number of pages left...how's Rand supposed to cleanse saidin in that amount of time?"

*END SPOILERS*

Or maybe the book before that. I skipped it and didn't feel like I missed too much. I really loved the series (despite the annoying characters) up until about Crown of Swords. Then some stuff started happening that left me scratching my head and saying, "what??"

OR

Tanith Lee's Gold Unicorn.

I adored her work Black Unicorn. It was unique and interesting, with a lovely style. But I found the sequel, Gold Unicorn, to be trite, boring, and difficult to understand at times. A couple of times I found myself questioning whether or not the dialogue was meant to come across as sarcastic or serious. I hear it's a trilogy. I didn't bother reading the third.

/rant

[Tirjasdyn]

The book, forever seared into my mind, as the worst book is Black Like Me.

It was just so horrible. The writing was awful, the premise idiotic. I can imagine a need to feel the pain of others just to make every one understand but by gods, get someone to do it who can write.

I had to read it twice, once in eigth grade (the biggest complaint was the three page shower scene). and once in college.

It was worse in college.

I compare every book I read to it. Nothing has ever been as bad, not even Troilus and Cresida, the Shakespeare play we boycotted in college for being awful. (We read it, but as a class we decided that the bard couldn't have wrote it and refused to let the professor discuss it).

[Jens22]

My vote for worst? "The Bridges of Madison County!" I laughed so hard through out that book I nearly busted ... something!

I liked how the guy kept referring to himself as the last American cowboy. :ROFL:

I could never get through Moll Flanders. It's about a thieving whore, and it's STILL BORING!

The Wind Done Gone was a big disappointment, and far from being a "parody" of Gone With the Wind. It was pretentious as hell.

[Perks]

'Where or When' by Anita Shreve. Worst book I ever read. I couldn't put it down it was so fascinatingly awful. When she wanted me to empathize, I disdained; when she wanted me to cry, I burst out laughing; when she wanted me to get turned on, I was nauseated. The most blisteringly failed attempt at reader manipulation I've ever run across.

Actually, I enthusiastically recommend it if it's been a while since you were glowing with literary ire. (Sometimes that's really fun.)

[Jamesaritchie]

The book, forever seared into my mind, as the worst book is Black Like Me.

It was just so horrible. The writing was awful, the premise idiotic. I can imagine a need to feel the pain of others just to make every one understand but by gods, get someone to do it who can write.

I had to read it twice, once in eigth grade (the biggest complaint was the three page shower scene). and once in college.

It was worse in college.

I compare every book I read to it. Nothing has ever been as bad, not even Troilus and Cresida, the Shakespeare play we boycotted in college for being awful. (We read it, but as a class we decided that the bard couldn't have wrote it and refused to let the professor discuss it).

I enjoyed Black Like Me. Not great writing, but not bad. I love Troilus and Cresida. I think it's wonderfully written, and has a blue ton of things to teach in it. Matter of taste, I guess.

[Tirjasdyn]

O wait I have read worse..

Crystal Fire.

Where rape equals love, not only was the writing bad but the story was horrible as well. Apparently it's a trilogy but I've never seen the other books. This one you can find everywhere.

Gah it's painful to think about it...I actually had forgotten it.

Make it stop.

[kristie911]

I have to admit...I like Patterson and Iris Johansen. I think there's definitely a difference between a well-written book and an entertaining one. I have read "classics" that I thought sucked and some of the most entertaining are not well-written books...just entertaining!

There are a lot of books I've tried to read and just couldn't...the worst I ever read (hoping it would get better) Dreamcatcher by Stephen King. And I love King! This was terrible. I heard, though, that the movie was even worse! Second worst: Bleachers by Grisham...he's really gone downhill lately. What happened to books like The Chamber and The Rainmaker...or The Client?

Just a side note: I see Patterson's Lifeguard was number one on the NY Times bestsellser list this week. I hope I write that crappy some day!

[Arkie]

Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. I read that Pynchon is an eccentric with a unique style all his own. He has won numerous writing awards so I felt I could learn something. I couldn't. I stayed with it about one-third the way through and gave up. He must drive editors crazy.

[Jamesaritchie]

Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. I read that Pynchon is an eccentric with a unique style all his own. He has won numerous writing awards so I felt I could learn something. I couldn't. I stayed with it about one-third the way through and gave up. He must drive editors crazy.

I don't think editors mind any writer who gives them a book that wins the National Book Award. Gravity's Rainbow is already considered a classic, and at least seven or eight books have been written about, along with hundreds of scholarly papers. Pynchon's style has often been compared to that of Melville and Falukner, and I think these are pretty good comparisons.

Gravity's Rainbow is very long, very dense, and is in no way a light read. But I wish you'd stuck with it. It all comes together in the end.

I've always thought Pynchon an interesting fellow. He spent most of his life so isolated from the public that many wondered if he even exists, if the name wasn't a pseudonym, and the "known" facts of his life just made up. No photo could be found of him, with the exception of a couple of that might or might not have been him at a much younger age.

[Jamesaritchie]

the worst I ever read (hoping it would get better) Dreamcatcher by Stephen King. And I love King! This was terrible. I heard, though, that the movie was even worse! !

I usually love Stephen King's writing, but two of his novels have given me a lot of trouble. "Insomnia" was, I think, the worst King novel. But I had real problems with "Dreamcatcher," as well. I will admit it got better once I could make myself finish it, but I had real problems with the first hundred pages or so.

[BlueTexas]

[/I]I haven't read many bad books, I guess. I've read books I didn't like, after I 'd read them--one by Elizabeth Berg, recently, and The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Tiolbin, or The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, as someone mentioned above.

I guess bad is really subjective. There was a novella by Doulgas Clegg that I thought was bad, about Lovecraft's Dagon. [/I]Nightshade by John Saul was a letdown, too.

I guess the bad-book mark with me would be on the books I couldn't finish. [I]Love in the time of Cholera[I] by Marquez--boring, and I love historical fiction. I also didn't get very far into At Risk[I] by Alice Hoffman. I put it down when the daughter got AIDS--it had the promise of sappy, gooey endearing family story, and I wasn't interested. The characters seemed somehow out-of-character, too. Also, the AIDS revelation was the first real thing to happen, and it happened in chapter three.

[Perks]

I usually love Stephen King's writing, but two of his novels have given me a lot of trouble. "Insomnia" was, I think, the worst King novel. But I had real problems with "Dreamcatcher," as well. I will admit it got better once I could make myself finish it, but I had real problems with the first hundred pages or so.

I think I may be the only person around who enjoyed "Insomnia." Even King lists it among his worst. I loved that book, but it's been so long that I can't remember why. I'm going to have to reread it now so I can work up a defense. Perhaps I'll see the error of my ways.

[Jamesaritchie]

I think I may be the only person around who enjoyed "Insomnia." Even King lists it among his worst. I loved that book, but it's been so long that I can't remember why. I'm going to have to reread it now so I can work up a defense. Perhaps I'll see the error of my ways.

I should probably give it another try myself. The problem I had with it was boredom. I just could not get interested. But this can be caused by all sorts of things that have nothing to do with the book. I have a copy here somewhere, and I haven't looked at it in years. I think I will give it another go.

[Jamesaritchie]

[/I]I haven't read many bad books, I guess. I've read books I didn't like, after I 'd read them--one by Elizabeth Berg, recently, and The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Tiolbin, or The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, as someone mentioned above.

I guess bad is really subjective. There was a novella by Doulgas Clegg that I thought was bad, about Lovecraft's Dagon. [/I]Nightshade by John Saul was a letdown, too.

I guess the bad-book mark with me would be on the books I couldn't finish. [I]Love in the time of Cholera[I] by Marquez--boring, and I love historical fiction. I also didn't get very far into At Risk[I] by Alice Hoffman. I put it down when the daughter got AIDS--it had the promise of sappy, gooey endearing family story, and I wasn't interested. The characters seemed somehow out-of-character, too. Also, the AIDS revelation was the first real thing to happen, and it happened in chapter three.

With published novels, I think it is largely subjective. There certainly are some published novels that are bad, and it usually shows in sales. But for the most part, it's usually a matter of like or dislike, which has nothing at all to do with quality.

[triceretops]

Gordon Dickson--Hour of the Horde. Fine, so it was written in the sixties. No excuse for no science, characterization, or pace. Blek!

Tri

[kristie911]

I think I may be the only person around who enjoyed "Insomnia." Even King lists it among his worst. I loved that book...

You're not the only one...I really enjoyed it actually. I think I just liked the idea of the whole thing. It was just so different. I remember wondering how he (King) comes up with this stuff! And actually, I liked the main character (was it Ralph Edwards? It's been five or six years since I've read it), he was such a great old guy!

[blargh]

You're not the only one...I really enjoyed it actually. I think I just liked the idea of the whole thing. It was just so different. I remember wondering how he (King) comes up with this stuff! And actually, I liked the main character (was it Ralph Edwards? It's been five or six years since I've read it), he was such a great old guy!

I guess there's three of us, then. I loved Insomnia also-actually, I like most of King's stuff. I was a bit let down by the ending to the Dark Tower series, though.

[Perks]

I guess there's three of us, then. I loved Insomnia also-actually, I like most of King's stuff. I was a bit let down by the ending to the Dark Tower series, though.

Good to know!! It's funny what resonates in one mind falls absolutely flat in others... <ahem> "Cold Mountain" anybody? Could not get through it. Tried three times...


I should amend that - I don't think "Cold Mountain" was a poorly written book. It just wouldn't crawl into my head at the time that I was trying to read it!:o

[pconsidine]

I have a rule that any book Anthony Minghella wants to make into a movie, I won't read. English Patient? Crap. Cold Mountain (or as my wife likes to call it "Cold Freakin' Mountain")? Crap on toast. A mountain of crap on toast, in fact.

My vote for worst book in print? Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. Devoid of any redeeming literary value. Just a history book of a history that hasn't happened yet.

Boy, this mud slinging sure is fun, isn't it? :)

[Roger J Carlson]

Boy, this mud slinging sure is fun, isn't it? :)The implication being: "How did this crap get published, when my masterpiece languishes in the slush pile?";)

[ANNIE]

Anything by Connie Mason. I'm a very ecclectic reader and usually like something an all genres, She's a romance writer. I actually met her at a Dude ranch in Wyoming- Man was she full of herself! She gave me a copy of her latest book (She couldn't beleive I never heard of her) Couldn't get past the cover!


Also I just had to mention to whover posted about hating Lord of thr flies- I absolutely LOVE that book. I'm not talking about the prose or dialoge or any of the other things trhat get picked apart -- It was the story- the message that grabbed me. To me that's the important part.

[Lyra Jean]

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind. Sorry I just couldn't get past the third or was it second chapter. I'm trying to figure out how it got published it was so boring and flat. Where was the action.

[Jaycinth]

Worst book?! ABSOLUTELY the WORST book? I really hope I don't offend anyone but someone I trusted made me read 'Battle Field Earth'. He said it was the best science fiction series ever written.

My parents always said if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

[pconsidine]

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind.

lol. My sister-in-law started reading this one. One afternoon, I was at her house and I picked it up and started reading. Hated every page. But it totally keyed into my need to know what will happen next. I've read every other book in the series to try to find out, but that bastidge ain't telling.

Why is it that fantasy publishers won't publish anything that they can't stretch out into a dozen 800-page books? Ugh.

[clearrr]

For me, it was Thy Neighbor's Wife by Gay Talese. Ugh.............

[Jamesaritchie]

I have a rule that any book Anthony Minghella wants to make into a movie, I won't read. English Patient? Crap. Cold Mountain (or as my wife likes to call it "Cold Freakin' Mountain")? Crap on toast. A mountain of crap on toast, in fact.

My vote for worst book in print? Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. Devoid of any redeeming literary value. Just a history book of a history that hasn't happened yet.

Boy, this mud slinging sure is fun, isn't it? :)

It really is interesting how taste varies. I couldn't get past the lack of quotation marks in "Cold Mountain," though when I finally made myself read it, it wasn't bad at all. I loved "The English Patient" beyond measure, and "Red Storm Rising" is one of the few Clancy novels that kept me reading front to back.

[pconsidine]

Is this the part where James and I fight to the death in a pay-per-view extravaganza, with all the proceeds benefitting the writer's association of the winner's choosing?

(Goes to look for the brass knuckles.)

[Perks]

Is this the part where James and I fight to the death in a pay-per-view extravaganza, with all the proceeds benefitting the writer's association of the winner's choosing?

(Goes to look for the brass knuckles.)

What a rumble that would be! Blood drawn over an issue of pure preference... I'll get the popcorn!:popcorn:

[aes25]

It really is interesting how taste varies. I couldn't get past the lack of quotation marks in "Cold Mountain," though when I finally made myself read it, it wasn't bad at all. I loved "The English Patient" beyond measure, and "Red Storm Rising" is one of the few Clancy novels that kept me reading front to back.


I like Clancy well enough I suppose, but I loved Red Storm Rising, of all his novels it was by far the one I read the quickest.

[Perks]

I like Clancy well enough I suppose, but I loved Red Storm Rising, of all his novels it was by far the one I read the quickest.

It took me three months to read 'Cardinal of the Kremlin.' I felt like a moron. That was back when I wouldn't give up on a book once it was THE CHOSEN ONE. Especially if I'd paid for it... I still struggle with that one.

[scribbler1382]

Iris Johansen's "The Search". Ick. I hated that thing so much, I wrote over five pages in my journal about all the things she did wrong. Now with distance, and in all fairness, it probably wasn't that bad a book for what it was. Unfortunately, I didn't know anything about her before reading this (i.e. what kind of books she'd written previously). I was expecting a dyed-in-the-wool thriller, when really it was chick lit disguised as a thriller (for me, anyways). I wouldn't buy any more of her books, but she sells a helluva lot of them, so she obviously knows what she's doing. I just wish I'd known what I was doing when I picked it up and brought it up to the cash register.

[Jamesaritchie]

Is this the part where James and I fight to the death in a pay-per-view extravaganza, with all the proceeds benefitting the writer's association of the winner's choosing?

(Goes to look for the brass knuckles.)

Brass knuckles? Does that mean I get to use the Colt Gold Cup I never leave home without? Your brass against my gold seems fair to me.

[luke_e_richards]

I'm going to have to say The Earthsea Quartet by Ursula LeGuinn. I really, really hope I don't offend anybody here. I hope this thread was meant all in good fun.

Anyway, back to my potentially offensive comments. Ursula LeGuinn is the type of writer who, when making a statement such as, 'He gripped his staff', would prefer to use more colourful language. I'm not quoting. I still have the book, but I refuse to touch it to find a quote. I'm going to exaggerate a little bit, but it really is a LITTLE bit. She would say:

'Tightly did he grip his staff fastened to yonder belt, MIGHTILY did he hold it aloft for all enemies, who were of no small number, and most of whom were of most horrible visage, to see, and with a vast arc of his staff, which was of solid oak and held within it strange and magical powers, and a furious battle cry, did he spit malice in the faces of his foes!'

Not kidding. The book looks like that to me. I'm sure some people loved it, and I wish her all the best from one writer to another, but it really isn't my style. I keep the book on my shelf to remind me how not to write. It would have been funny if it was printed in purple ink.

[Perks]

I'm going to have to say The Earthsea Quartet by Ursula LeGuinn. I really, really hope I don't offend anybody here. I hope this thread was meant all in good fun.

Anyway, back to my potentially offensive comments. Ursula LeGuinn is the type of writer who, when making a statement such as, 'He gripped his staff', would prefer to use more colourful language. I'm not quoting. I still have the book, but I refuse to touch it to find a quote. I'm going to exaggerate a little bit, but it really is a LITTLE bit. She would say:

'Tightly did he grip his staff fastened to yonder belt, MIGHTILY did he hold it aloft for all enemies, who were of no small number, and most of whom were of most horrible visage, to see, and with a vast arc and a furious battle cry, did he spit malice in the faces of his foes!'

Not kidding. The book looks like that to me. I'm sure some people loved it, and I wish her all the best from one writer to another, but it really isn't my style. I keep the book on my shelf to remind me how not to write. It would have been funny if it was printed in purple ink.

I haven't read it and I'm unlikely to now, but I sure did get a giggle out of your lampoon of it.

[Jamesaritchie]

I'm going to have to say The Earthsea Quartet by Ursula LeGuinn. I really, really hope I don't offend anybody here. I hope this thread was meant all in good fun.

Anyway, back to my potentially offensive comments. Ursula LeGuinn is the type of writer who, when making a statement such as, 'He gripped his staff', would prefer to use more colourful language. I'm not quoting. I still have the book, but I refuse to touch it to find a quote. I'm going to exaggerate a little bit, but it really is a LITTLE bit. She would say:

'Tightly did he grip his staff fastened to yonder belt, MIGHTILY did he hold it aloft for all enemies, who were of no small number, and most of whom were of most horrible visage, to see, and with a vast arc of his staff, which was of solid oak and held within it strange and magical powers, and a furious battle cry, did he spit malice in the faces of his foes!'

Not kidding. The book looks like that to me. I'm sure some people loved it, and I wish her all the best from one writer to another, but it really isn't my style. I keep the book on my shelf to remind me how not to write. It would have been funny if it was printed in purple ink.

Le Guin is the only writer out there I feel guilty about not liking. She has a wonderful reputation, she's considered one of the best by many, she's an SFWA Grand Master, she's won pretty much every award a writer can win, including Hugos, Nebulas, The National Book Award, The Pushcart, the International Fantasy Award, several lifetime achievement awards, on and on.

But outside of "The Left Hand of Darkness," I find her novels totally and completely unreadable. Some of her short fiction is better, but her novels simply baffle me.

[alaskamatt17]

I like LeGuin, though I haven't always. The Earthsea Quartet was hard for me to understand when I first read it, but I can understand her style better now. The hardest thing for me was that she did have a lot of long sentences, and that she sometimes circumvented rules of grammar in favor of having the words sound good. The last book of hers that I read was City of Illusions. After I read it I wanted to read another book by her right away.

[Thekherham]

I couldn't finish Frank Herbert's Dune. I haven't bothereed with any of the other Dune books (there must be a zillion of those out now.)

Battlefield Earth. I don't know which was worse, the book or the movie. Maybe both.

[stace001]

The all time worst, most boring piece of #$#% I've every read would have to be Grisham's King of Torts. What was that publisher thinking? I forced myself to finish it, (I have issues with not finishing books....its a long and boring story. Hey, maybe I'll get it down on paper and sell it..?:idea: )

Second would have to be most of Patterson's books. A couple of his books entertained me briefly, but I'm long past ever dishing out money to read another.

Third, any of the Harry Potter books. I read four pages of the first Harry Potter, slammed the book shut and put it back on the shelf. Very disappointing.

[Jamesaritchie]

The all time worst, most boring piece of #$#% I've every read would have to be Grisham's King of Torts. What was that publisher thinking? I forced myself to finish it, (I have issues with not finishing books....its a long and boring story. Hey, maybe I'll get it down on paper and sell it..?:idea: )

Second would have to be most of Patterson's books. A couple of his books entertained me briefly, but I'm long past ever dishing out money to read another.

Third, any of the Harry Potter books. I read four pages of the first Harry Potter, slammed the book shut and put it back on the shelf. Very disappointing.

I'm not a huge Grisham fan, though I've enjoyed most of his books, especially the first. Haven't tried King of Torts, though I have a son who loved it. Don't like Patterson enough to read him often.

I do, however, absolutely love the Harry Potter books. The first four pages just aren't enough. It's the story and the characters that are simply wonderful with Harry Potter. But I think the writing is pretty darned good, as well.

[Jamesaritchie]

I couldn't finish Frank Herbert's Dune. I haven't bothereed with any of the other Dune books (there must be a zillion of those out now.)

Battlefield Earth. I don't know which was worse, the book or the movie. Maybe both.

Dune I liked and read almost straight through, though I kept wondering where in heck a world without water got an oxygen atmosphere. I liked all the Frank Herbert books, but I haven't yet tried any of the Brian Herbert ones. But I do like Kevin J. Anderson, so I plan on trying them someday.

I haven't heard many people rave about Battlefield Earth, and I never could make it through volume one. I think I made it about a quarter of the way through, then quit in disgust. But some readers must have liked those books a lot, or there wouldn't be so many of them. The movie wasn't great, but I liked it more than the first book, which isn't sayiong much at all.

[gp101]

I understand the difference between a well-written novel and one that is simply entertaining, and I enjoy both. However, I don't think Patterson is either. I know he's taking a freakin' beating here, but padding a 100-page story into 250 pages bugs me. Granted my opinion is based on just one novel, but that's all I'm willing to spend on him.

I also accept the fact that some books which are found neither well-written nor very entertaining, still manage to hit best-seller status. I don't understand it, but I accept it. A hiccup in the literary universe. However, when a novel not only hits every best-seller list, but remains there for the better part of two years, it has to be more than a hiccup. I hate to bring it up again, but DaVinci can't be all that bad with that many copies bought. Personally I found the writing adequate. I also find my own writing adequate, nothing particularly genius about mine. But the story itself was fascinating for me. I think this was a case of how to make info-dumps actually interesting, as well as having a classic MacGuffin the characters chase with a bunch of baddies on their butts as a clock is ticking, AND a host of red herrings for baddies. Like that last sentence? Told you there was nothing genius about my writing.

I agree that the characters were nothing special, but they were enjoyable except for the Brit cripple, who was way over the top; the by-jove type of stereotypical Brit. The comparison of Langdon to Indy is a fair one, and I've also read about the previous book Dan Brown based DaVinci on, but I've often heard that the powers at be are sometimes more interested in re-hashings of familiar plots or charcters, but with new twists. If that's the case, then DaVinci Code is the gold standard to that strategy.

Perhaps a pole would be interesting to see what most of us newbies think of DaVinci? One of the best novels of the decade? One of the worst? Well-written (for its genre) but not that exciting? Thrilling but not well-written? An accident? Read more than once? More than three times? I dunno. Where would that poll fit on these boards? I don't want to get beeatch-smacked by the tribal elders for sticking such a poll in the wrong spot.

[gp101]

Also, having read most of the posts on this thread, I'd hate to see what everyone here would say if my novel got published and (God help us) became a best-seller. I think you'd all find it trashy. Though in a good way, hopefully.

Anyone with the same feelings?

[Jamesaritchie]

I understand the difference between a well-written novel and one that is simply entertaining, and I enjoy both. However, I don't think Patterson is either. I know he's taking a freakin' beating here, but padding a 100-page story into 250 pages bugs me. Granted my opinion is based on just one novel, but that's all I'm willing to spend on him.

I also accept the fact that some books which are found neither well-written nor very entertaining, still manage to hit best-seller status. I don't understand it, but I accept it. A hiccup in the literary universe. However, when a novel not only hits every best-seller list, but remains there for the better part of two years, it has to be more than a hiccup. I hate to bring it up again, but DaVinci can't be all that bad with that many copies bought. Personally I found the writing adequate. I also find my own writing adequate, nothing particularly genius about mine. But the story itself was fascinating for me. I think this was a case of how to make info-dumps actually interesting, as well as having a classic MacGuffin the characters chase with a bunch of baddies on their butts as a clock is ticking, AND a host of red herrings for baddies. Like that last sentence? Told you there was nothing genius about my writing.

I agree that the characters were nothing special, but they were enjoyable except for the Brit cripple, who was way over the top; the by-jove type of stereotypical Brit. The comparison of Langdon to Indy is a fair one, and I've also read about the previous book Dan Brown based DaVinci on, but I've often heard that the powers at be are sometimes more interested in re-hashings of familiar plots or charcters, but with new twists. If that's the case, then DaVinci Code is the gold standard to that strategy.

Perhaps a pole would be interesting to see what most of us newbies think of DaVinci? One of the best novels of the decade? One of the worst? Well-written (for its genre) but not that exciting? Thrilling but not well-written? An accident? Read more than once? More than three times? I dunno. Where would that poll fit on these boards? I don't want to get beeatch-smacked by the tribal elders for sticking such a poll in the wrong spot.

I don't think there's any doubt why DaVinci Code has sold so well. It's the controversy. Millions WANT to believe that novel, especially since Dan Brown makes the rather silly claim that all the research is accurate.

It's been said there are three ways to make a novel sell well: 1. The right kind of sex. 2. The right kind of vilolence. 3. The biggest way of all, shoot a scred cow that millions of people want to see shot. Throw DaVinci and codes, (which should be da Vinci) into the mix, plus a writer who swears it's all true, and I'd be astounded if the book didn't sell extremely well. Why do you think Satanic Verses sold so well? It sure as heck wasn't because of the writing or the story.

[triceretops]

As someone has previously mentioned, and I am now prone to jump out of my closet, I simply could not get through Dune on three attempts over a ten-year period. I bogged in the middle each and everytime. Forgive my redudancy, fellow Herbert lovers, but there wasn't enough action there for me to make the push. Perhaps I should have struggled further to catch the good hook...

Tri

[scribbler1382]

Da Vinci Code was an okay book. I'd rank it midlist...neither terrible nor great. I've read all of Dan's books and actually think it was probably his weakest effort. James is right when he says it was the controversy that put it over the top. If you get a chance, read "Deception Point". It's a much finer piece of work, IMO.

I do hate DV Code on one level. He seemed to be splitting his time between what I'd consider cool thrillers and religious thrillers. The ridiculous level of success he found with DV Code has simply put him on the speaking tour road and has prevented any new non-religious novels from coming out. At one point he was working on a new book set in the U.S., but I think that fell by the wayside when DV took off. We may never see another non-religious book from him, unfortunately.

[AdamH]

Enjoyed daVinci Code just for its theory on the Holy Grail. Great adventure story. Nothing special as far as writing though. It seemed like it was candy-corn for the brain. It was a fun ride like most of his other books. The only one I didn't like from Brown was Digital Fortress. It seemed subpar for him.

Personally, I hate any Grisham novel. I've tried over and over again to read him because I enjoyed the movies but I can't get into his style. The only book I've read cover to cover of his that I didn't mind was "Bleachers". But as far as I know that's his only non-legal thriller novel. So that's most likely the reason.

[zarch]

Grisham also wrote Skipping Christmas and The Painted House. I really enjoyed both. I personally like Grisham's books...not sure why, but I like them.

I read The Da Vinci Code because of the controversy. Not sure if it's my favorite Brown novel, but it was a fun read.

Oh, and another writer I can't stomach: Herman Melville. I'm an English teacher, so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say that. But oh my goodness, I'd rather read Iris Johansen than Melville...well...maybe not, but it's close.

[stace001]

Grisham also wrote Skipping Christmas and The Painted House. I really enjoyed both. I personally like Grisham's books...not sure why, but I like them.

I read The Da Vinci Code because of the controversy. Not sure if it's my favorite Brown novel, but it was a fun read.

Oh, and another writer I can't stomach: Herman Melville. I'm an English teacher, so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say that. But oh my goodness, I'd rather read Iris Johansen than Melville...well...maybe not, but it's close.

I have enjoyed Grisham books in the past. I really enjoyed A Time To Kill, but that was many years ago. It was based on that enjoyment that I purchased King of Torts. Won't be doing that again.

I've read all of Dan Brown's novels, and I found that Deception Point and Digital Fortress were more appealing. I enjoyed Angels and Demons and DV Code, but I read both of them before all the hype began. Since then, I'm just so sick of hearing about DV Code, and all its spin offs. A shame really, because I originally found them interesting.

[rhymegirl]

I read almost all of the Oprah's Book Club selections. Some of them were very good, some just fair. But the one I really disliked was White Oleander by Janet Fitch. I think the main character(s) should be likable. I found the mother and daughter unlikable right off the bat, so I didn't even finish reading the novel.

[Jamesaritchie]

Oh, and another writer I can't stomach: Herman Melville. I'm an English teacher, so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say that. But oh my goodness, I'd rather read Iris Johansen than Melville...well...maybe not, but it's close.

ARRRGGGG, now you're walking on hallowed ground. I don't think all his work is equal, but I believe most of it is nothing less than spectacular. I believe Moby Dick is one of the three or four best American novels ever written, and certainly has the best opening of any novel ever written.

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off -- then, I
account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.

I think this writing is simply as good as writing can possibly get.

[Greer]

I don't think there's any doubt why DaVinci Code has sold so well. It's the controversy. Millions WANT to believe that novel, especially since Dan Brown makes the rather silly claim that all the research is accurate.

It's been said there are three ways to make a novel sell well: 1. The right kind of sex. 2. The right kind of vilolence. 3. The biggest way of all, shoot a scred cow that millions of people want to see shot. Throw DaVinci and codes, (which should be da Vinci) into the mix, plus a writer who swears it's all true, and I'd be astounded if the book didn't sell extremely well. Why do you think Satanic Verses sold so well? It sure as heck wasn't because of the writing or the story.

James, I know you're making a point about the fatwa equating to higher book sales, but Satanic Verses is regarded by many -- including me -- as one of the best books of the past fifty years. The writing is exquisite, the story revolutionary. Salman Rushdie is going to win a Nobel Prize sooner or later.

Certainly, though, the publicity from the fatwa led to many people who probably hadn't heard of him before buying his book.

[Jamesaritchie]

James, I know you're making a point about the fatwa equating to higher book sales, but Satanic Verses is regarded by many -- including me -- as one of the best books of the past fifty years. The writing is exquisite, the story revolutionary. Salman Rushdie is going to win a Nobel Prize sooner or later.

Certainly, though, the publicity from the fatwa led to many people who probably hadn't heard of him before buying his book.

Some will love any book, but in reading tests with the general public, Satanic Verses comes across as one of the most unreadable and worst written books of the last fifty years. Of course, Ulysses, by James Joyce, also ranks with teh very worst books of all time by the reading public.

Largely a matter of taste, I know, but I agree with both. It contains, in my opinion, the worst writing I think I've ever read in a bestselling novel. I honestly do not believe Satanic Versses would have sold twelve copies if it weren't for the controversy.

I suspect Rushdie will win the Nobel, but for me, this says he did something wrong, not something right. I don't think a Nobel has been awarded for talent since the 70's.

But that's just me. We all have our own taste in writing and literature.

[alaskamatt17]

Worst as far as writing goes: Toxin by Robin Cook.

Worst because of blandness: Alaska by James Michener, Harry Turtledove's Into the Darkness gets a close second.

[Mac H.]

I'm glad someone else brought up 'Satanic Verses'. I will admit that I read it ONLY because of the controversy.

And I thought it was one of the most incoherent novels I have ever read.
My problem was mainly that character's actions made no sense at all.

For example, in one scene, two cops are bashing our main character. Then our main character turns into a goat in front of them. The cop's reaction? "Oh - sorry about that chap. We thought you were a criminal. It seems that you are just a nice chap who turns into a goat occasionally. We'll just set you free, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody else about the fact we just bashed you up"

OK - I'm relying on memory which I'm sure is wrong, but I refuse to put myself through it by reading it again to verify. But how does that remotely make sense? I don't mind our main character turning into a goat - I enjoy Sci Fi & Fantasy. But surely the reactions of people surely have to be plausible !!!

But at least the 'Da Vinci Code' is readable. Ok, I got the vague impression that the author thinks that woman are stupid (It seems to be basically the men explaining the way the world works to women) but if you don't mind that...

The sad thing about the 'Da Vinci Code' is that people believe that it is about facts, and has been carefully researched. I don't mind it - but it is simply wrong to mislead people into those bizarre fictions.

For example, he has a bit where he explains that the 'chevrons' (stripes) that signify military rank are a phallic symbol. Basically, the 'upwards arrow' is an ancient warrior phallic symbol, which has evolved into the current 'upward stripes' of today for marking rank.

Let's see what happens when we verify this 'fact'. Type 'Military Stripes Rank History' into google, and click on the first link. What do we find? An explanation of the history which points out that chevrons were worn points DOWN until 1902! Let alone the U.S centricness of his original 'fact', as much of the rest of the world has downward 'arrows' for their military stripes.

How can people believe that he does research to back up his story !!!

Mac
(And yes, I am aware of the irony of complaining about Dan Brown's research in the same post where I refuse to research my own statements about 'The Satanic Verses'. The difference is I'm publically announcing that I haven't researched the facts, where as the publicity machine for 'Da Vinci' has stated repeatedly that the 'facts' are accurate...)

[aruna]

It really is interesting how taste varies. I couldn't get past the lack of quotation marks in "Cold Mountain," though when I finally made myself read it, it wasn't bad at all. I loved "The English Patient" beyond measure, and "Red Storm Rising" is one of the few Clancy novels that kept me reading front to back.

I hate lack of quotation marks. I recently read a book, "The Secret Lives of Vokram Lall" with that and I found it so artitifical. It also made the charaters' speech seem distant, cold; it made the whole thing sound like "tell not show". I liked the story itself and this literary device was really, really annoying - especially as it is so unnecessary. I don't understand why some writers think they have to change the basic rules.

And I didn't like Cold Mountain either.

[aruna]

I hate lack of quotation marks. I recently read a book, "The Secret Lives of Vokram Lall" with that and I found it so artitifical. It also made the charaters' speech seem distant, cold; it made the whole thing sound like "tell not show". I liked the story itself and this literary device was really, really annoying - especially as it is so unnecessary. I don't understand why some writers think they have to change the basic rules.

And I didn't like Cold Mountain either.
Harry Potter: read the first two and was very underwhelmed. They are childrens' books and as such they work and Ijust don't get the adult appeal. The "magic" is absolutely dull and not in the least captivating, characters thin, writing nothing special.
Da Vinci Code: I read it becasue of the controversy and curiosity. Writing poor, characters paper thin, religious element cliched, but unputdownable, yes.
Ulysses: read the first paragraph and it was enough. Satanic Verses: heard enough about it to know it's not my kind of book. I did try to read The Moor's Last Sigh and gave up. Rushdie is NOT my kind of author though I agree he'll win the Nobel Prize.
Haven't read all Nobel prizewinners but from the couple of books of Naipaul I've read (early ones) I think he deserved it; they were readable books with a very subtle humour and irony. Other Nobvel prizewinners: Tried a late Guenther Grass: unreadable and boring, pretentious. Tin Drum - couldn't get into it. Toni Morrison: Liked Song of Solomon, other books not.

[gp101]

Some will love any book, but in reading tests with the general public, Satanic Verses comes across as one of the most unreadable and worst written books of the last fifty years. Of course, Ulysses, by James Joyce, also ranks with teh very worst books of all time by the reading public.


I haven't read Satanic Verses, so I can't comment on it. But, James, as much as I enjoy and respect most of your posts, please don't mention popularity contests where the control group doesn't have to pay for the book. These same focus groups green-light movies like Ishtar. They green-light most movies today and most movies blow. I doubt it's much different for the novels they recommend. So I'd rather go by sales figures as a barometer of popularity than focus groups. At least sales figures deal with people who have to fork over money as opposed to focus groups who get a freebie or may even be getting paid.

Still doesn't explain Patterson. I'm lost explaining his popularity.

Then again, if the polling you cite refers to people who actually bought the book, and were polled after the fact... well then, I must apologize, shut-up, and hide. But it's my understanding that these polls are done with free books and other incentives in exchange for the opinions. Is this a wrong understanding?

Also, James, I liked your explanation of the three ways to make a novel a hot commodity, especially the killing-the-sacred-cow bit. Hadn't even considered that in reference to DV but it makes sense. Maybe that's why I couldn't put it down. Damn, what sacred cows are left to offer to the reading public? I gotta get me on that band wagon.

[clearrr]

I bought Satanic Verses because I wanted to support Rushie, and had no intention or interest in reading it. However, I am reading it and have been for a very long time. I find it evocative and can easily pick up the story line after not reading it for months. As a reader who normally finishes a book the same day I start it, I cherish books that I can nibble on, like an overly-rich dessert.

[Perks]

I read almost all of the Oprah's Book Club selections. Some of them were very good, some just fair. But the one I really disliked was White Oleander by Janet Fitch. I think the main character(s) should be likable. I found the mother and daughter unlikable right off the bat, so I didn't even finish reading the novel.

I've always felt like such a heathen for not liking this book. It abandoned the interesting bits and focused on the contrived. I was lonely as everyone else gushed over it.

[Shwebb]

You know, Bridges of Madison County was the most maudlin' of any book I'd ever read--I found the prose so over-the-top--but at the same time, darn it if the guy didn't capture the heartache at the same time, by the end of the book. My mother-in-law insisted to me that I read it. I'll admit parts of the story are moving, but I was laughing out loud at some of the wording.

Conversely, one of my favorites is A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. But I know quite a few people who couldn't get past the first five pages. (I pretended Owen sounded like Mickey Mouse, and that was got me past the character's description.)

[zarch]

Fine, fine, okay. I can't/wouldn't say that Melville was a bad writer. That would be silly. That's more a case of likes/dislikes. His stuff is just not for me.

[Jens22]

I couldn't get what the big deal was about Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones. Not one detail of that murder and investigation made any sense, nor the ghost girl's meddlesome actions in the afterlife.

[BlueTexas]

I couldn't get what the big deal was about Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones. Not one detail of that murder and investigation made any sense, nor the ghost girl's meddlesome actions in the afterlife.

Wow...I loved this book. I read with more concern for the afterlife part than the real world, though, and that may have been the difference. But then, I like odd things more than most people.

[Jaycinth]

Was my bane in Highschool English. I didn't like him. I was a straight A student, and I could not relate to Melville, especially Moby Dick. I fought my way through that book and still got an F on the paper. Now, Ironically enough, my wonderful son was given a choice of 4 books to read, one of them being Moby Dick. I strongly suggested that he not read it. I told him it was hard and I didn't enjoy it. And dang if my kid (who hates reading) didn't eat it up. Read it twice by now. Got an A on his paper. Reccomends it to his friends. (Chee!!!)

So I guess it is all point of view. But I still have to say, that in my poor opinion, Battlefield Earth is the worst thing ever thought of. There are other books that are bad, but compared to B.E. all of those are just annoying.

[MarkEsq]

I'm normally fine with Grisham's work, I liked The Painted House pretty well. But The King of Torts was, in my humble opinion, drivel. I don't know whether my being a lawyer taints my view, but I thought the plot, characters, everything was a waste of my time. Sorry John! :)

[aadams73]

Anything ever written by L. Ron Hubbard is utter dog feces. How that tosser ever spawned a cult is beyond me.

Worst book, or at least one I disliked the most: Wuthering Heights. It ought to be renamed "Withering Plights".

[pconsidine]

Grisham also wrote Skipping Christmas...

Another one I thought was so-so at best. I mean, what's the point of writing a story about a character taking an unpopular stand and sticking with it through 75% of the book, only to have him completely cave in at the end? What exactly was the moral of that story anyway? That you can't fight the materialism of Christmas no matter how hard you try? What a heart-warming holiday tale that is.

[pconsidine]

Not being familiar with the name, I checked out the web for Robert Jordan. I can now say that I agree with whoever panned him. I mean, what kind of opening sentence is this?

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose.... The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. But it was a beginning."

It sounds like a cross between Tale of Two Cities and that part of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" where the narrator is talking about the passing seasons ("Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.")

God love him all the same.

[Nangleator]

...what kind of opening sentence is this?

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose.... The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. But it was a beginning."
Oh, my, but that begs for parody.

Instead, I'll just edit it some:

In the beginning, the Wheel of Time turned. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. A wind rose.... The wind was not the beginning. But it was a beginning.

Let's begin again. Ages come and pass. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, that wind thing came. At least, some call it a wind. In the beginning. 'A' beginning, I mean. Memories become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. Come again? What did I myth?

[pconsidine]

Nope. Anyway you slice it, it's still going to sound like your senile old grandfather telling you a story about how things used to be.

"When I was your age, well, when I'm gonna be your age, I used to... wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. The wind. The wind began... well, it didn't begin but it was a beginning. Of the wind, that is."

[Shwebb]

My husband got me into reading the "Wheel of Time" series by Robert Jordan. In the beginning it wasn't so bad; he did a pretty good job with the characters. He's on, I don't know, his tenth or so sequel, and I just think he's milkin' the money cow as much as he can.

He now takes up the whole book with descriptions and dialogue that do not further the plot at all. He likes to say that different dinnerware pieces are "silver-chased" and "gold-chased." And don't get me started about his author picture on the back! I started out interested, and now I'm just disillusioned. (Sigh)

But I'll read anything by Orson Scott Card.

[pconsidine]

We could start a whole new thread on lousy author photos (see Terry Goodkind) but I don't think any of us really want to open that can of worms. :)

[Medievalist]

I've promised an indepth review of Brown's DaVinci codex; I've promised it, and I really do have to complete the assignment.

I've tried to read the book three times; I've yet to make it past the third chapter. The writing infuriates me, the idiocy and moronic errors of fact and history annoy me.

But I've got to complete the review--1,000 words or so.

*Sigh*

[Jens22]

Dune I liked and read almost straight through, though I kept wondering where in heck a world without water got an oxygen atmosphere.

The sandworms, er, exhausted lots of oxygen. Nicest. Farts. Ever.

[Jaycinth]

I try not to hate anything. Try. Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time was (Did he finish it yet, please tell me he did, please, even if you have to lie) annoying. Very annoying. Every adverb in the thesaurus annoying.

Dune. Lets just put those cute little wormmies on FEAR FACTOR and see who chews them up. With no water to wash it down.

Wheel of Time is(was?) more annoying than reality TV.

[scribbler1382]

We could start a whole new thread on lousy author photos (see Terry Goodkind) but I don't think any of us really want to open that can of worms. :)

That's nothing. For the first twenty years of his career, Koontz' photographer kept cropping out his hair. :)

[ChunkyC]

Love the Dune books, especially the original trilogy. Love the Harry Potter books.

Could not get through Leguin's Left Hand of Darkness. Bored me silly. Same for The Difference Engine by Gibson and Sterling. Both books are award winners, but for the life of me I just could not keep going. I'd get a few chapters in, then start feeling like I'd just eaten six pounds of thanksgiving turkey, the eyelids would begin to droop....

Mind you, my stuff will probably be used as an anesthetic some day, so I shouldn't talk. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[AnneMarble]

I try not to hate anything. Try. Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time was (Did he finish it yet, please tell me he did, please, even if you have to lie)

Yes, he did finish it ;) ;) :roll: (Sorry, there is no smiley for typing while crossing your fingers behind your back. :D )

annoying. Very annoying. Every adverb in the thesaurus annoying.
I read about half of the first one and enjoyed it more than I expected, and will actually read it if I can find my !@#$ copy. Even if I sometimes wanted to give the characters caffeine to get them on their !@#$ way. For once, I liked the amount description. So many traditional fantasies take place in a fill-in-the-blanks vacuum.

Or maybe after you've you've burned your brain cells by trying to read James Gordon White's The Nomad Queen (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0843934379/qid=1123712886/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/002-2747959-8680000?v=glance&s=books), then most other fantasy books seem fine by comparison. I'm sure I'm not the only other person who hated it because the sequel never ever came out. (Not knowing any better, I ordered both through Ingrams and later learned the second had been canceled.) There's something... special... about a fantasy novel that keeps mentioning that the Amazonian heroine wore high heels. First, how could she fight in those things?! And second, OK, whatever turns you on, Mr. White. ;)

[aadams73]

We could start a whole new thread on lousy author photos (see Terry Goodkind) but I don't think any of us really want to open that can of worms. :)

Oooooooh! Any of those "glamorshots" with the soft fuzzy lens.

[Torgo]

There's a Tom Clancy dust-jacket picture in which he's wearing a flight suit, leather bomber jacket, aviator shades and a baseball cap with the insignia of a battleship on it, and the absolute worst thing is YOU CAN CLEARLY TELL HE DRESSES TO THE RIGHT. If you can look at that and keep your sanity, then God bless you, Batman.

[Perks]

There's a Tom Clancy dust-jacket picture in which he's wearing a flight suit, leather bomber jacket, aviator shades and a baseball cap with the insignia of a battleship on it, and the absolute worst thing is YOU CAN CLEARLY TELL HE DRESSES TO THE RIGHT. If you can look at that and keep your sanity, then God bless you, Batman.

The good news is that I have never seen that picture and I will make a great effort to avoid it.

The bad news is that I met Tom Clancy at the world premiere of the film 'The Hunt For Red October' - he is an enormous man. Huge. Towering. And now I am going to think about what you've just related here every time I remember meeting him. Thanks a lot for that....

[Torgo]

No!!! I always thought he was a tiny little man. Minuscule!

Mind you I thought both Jude Law and Pharrell Williams would be tall, and yet you could probably fit them both into a golf bag with room for your nine-iron.

By the way, I wouldn't worry about coming across that picture by accident. You'd have to buy one of the "Tom Clancy's Net Force" series, and you don't need any more incentive to avoid that.

[HapiSofi]

Bad author photos don't bother me. I never expect authors to have good taste in visual art, so I'm pleasantly surprised when they do.

Worst (contemporary) published book I've ever read: That would have to be Black Body, by H. C. Turk. Many books slothfully lapse into plain everyday chaotic badness. Black Body works long and hard to achieve its singular and unnerving badness. It appals veteran reviewers and slush-hardened fiction editors alike. Worse, Villard -- a respectable house -- published it as a 6" x 9" hardcover, with a beautiful dust jacket and an award-winning interior design. There's no accounting for it.

The Kirkus review of it was spectacular.

[Perks]

No!!! I always thought he was a tiny little man. Minuscule!

Mind you I thought both Jude Law and Pharrell Williams would be tall, and yet you could probably fit them both into a golf bag with room for your nine-iron.

By the way, I wouldn't worry about coming across that picture by accident. You'd have to buy one of the "Tom Clancy's Net Force" series, and you don't need any more incentive to avoid that.

Jude Law doesn't need to be tall. If I can spirit him away in a bag of any sort... all the better. Can I possibly get any more off topic? But you had to bring up Jude Law.... jeesh.


(BTW - Tom Clancy is probably 6'6")

[meryl]

Tripwire by Jay Brandon -- I keep a list of the books I've read. I wish I could say it's unabridged. Started the list about mid-1990s. Then I was inspired to add notes about each book -- feelings, who recommended, impacts, etc. I have quite a few "I don't remembers..." but Tripwire... I remember suffering through it more clearly than any other book.

What was I thinking? Now, I stop reading a book if it's bad... thankfully, there hasn't been a bad one in ages. I try to choose carefully and when I'm asked to review books -- I don't accept any ol' book... if I did, I'd be living and breathing lots of bad books and books that don't interest me... Certainly not one about taking care of a cat when I'm a dog person. :)

[inexperiencedinker]

Soo....I have noticed that I rarely hate a book. But, I do hate one author above all others. John Steinblech! Alright, I know I saw his name in "most influential book" thread (something like that) and I might be inclined to agree if, and only if, someone was trying to influence me to commit suicide. I nearly flunked my junior year of English because my teacher took offense to my fifteen page essay (i think she called it diatribe) on the depressing boredom these books made me live through. If i ever threw a book away, it was probably "The Red Pony". Yuck! Boy has dream, gets dream, dream unravels to a big pile of ****.
Sorry, whew, glad I got that out of my system. My only other gripe is great series that turn to crap...Anne Rice:Witches of Mayfair were great! Lasher etc.: What happened to the witches, and where the Heck did aliens come from? (so that is possibly my own rendition of the last few books) Jean M. Auel: wonderful. Last book Shelters of Stone: flat crap. Laurel K. Hamilton Anita Blake series: Not so bad. Last 6 books: Why did I waste those moments in life? Piers Anthony: Downright hilarious. Book 7890 of Xanth: If it had been a hard copy I would have beaten myself to death. I think i might have anger managment issues! lol.

[brinkett]

But, I do hate one author above all others. John Steinblech!

I also didn't enjoy any of the Steinbech books I had to read for English.


My only other gripe is great series that turn to crap...Anne Rice:Witches of Mayfair were great! Lasher etc.: What happened to the witches, and where the Heck did aliens come from?

I didn't even make it that far. I loved the Vampire Chronicles (first five), and so I picked up a few other books by Rice. I tried, really tried, but none of them grabbed me. They just didn't have the magic.

Another series that started out fantastic but turned to crap has already been mentioned several times: Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time. If you want to spend an entertaining few hours, pull up a chair and read the Amazon reviews for Crossroads of Twilight. As several of the reviewers say, the reviews are the best thing about the later books. If you really want to get into the spirit of things, make yourself a nice cup of tea before settling in.

[JerseyGirl1962]

Another series that started out fantastic but turned to crap has already been mentioned several times: Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time. If you want to spend an entertaining few hours, pull up a chair and read the Amazon reviews for Crossroads of Twilight. As several of the reviewers say, the reviews are the best thing about the later books. If you really want to get into the spirit of things, make yourself a nice cup of tea before settling in.

I've actually done that, on days when I'm bored or if I'm in one of those "my writing is dreck!" moods. Very entertaining. :ROFL:

I gave up about 1/3 of the way into Book 4, whatever it was called. I've since given away most of those books.

~Nancy

[Tirjasdyn]

I read almost all of the Oprah's Book Club selections. Some of them were very good, some just fair. But the one I really disliked was White Oleander by Janet Fitch. I think the main character(s) should be likable. I found the mother and daughter unlikable right off the bat, so I didn't even finish reading the novel.
mmm..the movie was disturbing. Have you read "Fall on your Knees" another oprah book...it was just wrong and horrible. I couldn't like anyone it that book.

[pconsidine]

I also didn't enjoy any of the Steinbech books I had to read for English.

It's amazing how much effect being forced to read something has on how we feel about it. I have a perfect illustration. When I was a kid, I decided to read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance just for fun. I really enjoyed it.

A few years later, when I was in college, there was a philosophy class that required reading Zen. I remembered really liking the book so I signed up, figuring it was an easy A. Sure, I'd have to reread the book, since it had been so long since I read it the first time, but I liked it then, I ought to like it now, right?

I wound up having to drop the class. I just couldn't read the book. Absolutely couldn't do it.

[brinkett]

I gave up about 1/3 of the way into Book 4, whatever it was called. I've since given away most of those books.

You're much less of a sucker than I was. I bought and read everything up to and including Crossroads of Twilight, which I couldn't finish. Assuming I'm still alive when the series finishes, I may buy the last book and read the last three pages. I suspect that will suffice.

One of my cats chews on books. Usually I discourage her, but I've allowed her to go to town on the Jordan ones. She's enjoyed the last few books more than I did.


It's amazing how much effect being forced to read something has on how we feel about it.

And when you're told how to feel about it.

[nymphara]

Hmm... That's a tough one. It comes down between three books, (all of them I was forced to read in school). Old Man in the Sea, Cry, the Beloved Country, or Lord of the Flies. I think that those three books should never have been printed.

[JerseyGirl1962]

You're much less of a sucker than I was. I bought and read everything up to and including Crossroads of Twilight, which I couldn't finish. Assuming I'm still alive when the series finishes, I may buy the last book and read the last three pages. I suspect that will suffice.


That's, of course, assuming that Jordan's still alive. ;)

Or maybe he'll have someone ghostwrite the last one. Or maybe he's doing that now. ;)

Aw, me so mean! :faint:

~ Nancy

[HapiSofi]

I've got to wonder who buys and reads Jordan's books, given that every volume in the series sells better than the last.

[pconsidine]

My wife reminded me of another one last night - Walden. I wish I had a transcript of the beautiful tirade she launched off on when I asked her about it. Suffice it to say that she can't even hear the name without getting a case of the shivers.

[Danger Jane]

Wringer, by Jerry Spinelli. Forced to read it in school a few years back...it was awful, about this kid who had to wring the necks of pidgeons on Pigdeon day but didn't want to...it was a lame plot and written poorly, in my opinion.

[Kat]

The worst book I ever read half read was, "When Character was King: A Story of Ronald Reagan" by Peggy Noonan. I know she’s supposed to be a great writer; however the run on sentences and wordiness, not to mention repeating her self in the same paragraph just about drove me nuts! I really wanted to read the book because I was interested in knowing more about Mr. Reagan, this was just before he died.

I wonder if she had an editor. After Mr. Reagan died, I tried reading it again, I couldn’t. I guess I’ll have to try another book about him by someone else. :)

Well, that’s my two cents worth.

Kat
Author of "Too Many Speed Bumps: A Journey of Healing"
www.shorthandpublishing.com (http://www.shorthandpublishing.com)

[NicoleJLeBoeuf]

The first book I never finished would be The Worm Oroborous. I kept waiting for it to be revealed that it was intended as a parody of High Fantasy. Evidence of such never surfaced.

Can someone argue me into rereading it? Because I have since heard many people praise it to the high heavens, and it makes me worry I'm missing out. I thought it was badly written, but maybe--similar to the poster above lambasting Neil Gaiman's American Gods--maybe I was just not the right audience for that book.

I'll happily jump on the Piers Anthony loathing bandwagon. I got into Xanth when I was a preteen, but upon coming back to it realized that the narration was just so damn smarmy that it wasn't worth irritating myself with. That tone persisted through his other series, too. The Blue Adept books sucked rocks and suffered from the same sort of love-affair-with-alliterative-name-for-no-apparent-reason malaise as Xanth, with even less excuse for it, and likewise jumped at any excuse to insert sex and potty humor into the narrative. Incarnations of Immortality was better and slightly more mature, but it still suffers from being written by Piers Anthony.

[alaskamatt17]

... the narration was just so damn smarmy that it wasn't worth irritating myself with. ...

This doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but love the word smarmy.

[Jaycinth]

Struggled through Oroborous a long time ago. Can't remember a single word. Its still on my bookshelf. Perhaps I'll pay one of my kids to read it.

I thought Piers Anthony was supposed to be read by pre-teens. As far as Smarmy goes, they RULE!

[Eveningsdawn]

My father handed the book [/I]Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas[I] to me recently. Man, did I hate it. There was about one good bit in it. I didn't finish it, and I always finish books. Even when I hate them.

[Anastacia]

Stars In My Pocket Like Grains of Sand by Samuel R. Delaney. Worst science fiction novel ever.

I also once raced through a John Grisham novel -- and felt like I desperately needed a soul and brain bath to wash it out.

[NicoleJLeBoeuf]

Ah! Remembered another one. I have probably been repressing it.

I went to a Natalie Goldberg writing workshop in April 2002, and she assigned us three books to have read by the time we got there. Two of em I adored. One of 'em, I couldn't stand. But I had to finish it. It was assigned. We were going to discuss it and everything.

Waiting, by Ha Jin.

Completely unlikeable main character. The entire plot hinges on him being totally selfish. And there's some real clunkers in dialogue, both internal and external, that I'm not convinced can be entirely explained away by his writing the book in a language not his first.

We were discussing it at the workshop because of the incredible attention to detail all throughout. A grasshopper leaping up and bouncing off a bit of hanging laundry. That sort of stuff. And I can appreciate that much.

But. The dialogue during the rape scene. And. The main character's behavior while his new wife is giving birth to their sons. Ick.

I'd cite some examples, but the book is no longer in my house.

[Kasey Mackenzie]

I don't _hate_ Robert Jordan. In fact, I zipped through his first 6 books in college with relish, enjoying them greatly. I thought the first book started a bit slow but once I got into it found his characterization and world-building fascinating. I loved all the different cultures and the epic proportions of the story. I even enjoyed book 7 and 8 nearly as much as those first 6. But, by about book 9 that enthusiasm waned. I just think that, for my own personal tastes, he kept introducing characters I didn't care about without truly furthering the plotlines involving the ones I DID care about. I still need to read Book 10, which is sitting on my bookshelf. Then I read New Spring (a prequel to the other series), and felt the enthusiasm return once more. I can only hope that the next however many books there are make me feel that way again.

Now, I don't think that the newer books _suck_, I just don't enjoy them nearly as much as the first 7 or so. And I'll always have a fondness for Robert Jordan because I met my husband on a Wheel of Time online role-playing game about 9 years ago, as well as some of my closest friends. =)

[JerseyGirl1962]

Kasey,

I just read that Jordan's supposed to come out with just 2 new books (one this October, don't remember the name) to finish up the darn thing. After that, he's supposed to come out with, I think, 3 prequels.

Just thought you'd like to know. :)

~Nancy

[brinkett]

I still need to read Book 10, which is sitting on my bookshelf. Then I read New Spring (a prequel to the other series), and felt the enthusiasm return once more. I can only hope that the next however many books there are make me feel that way again.

Now, I don't think that the newer books _suck_,
Ah, but you haven't read book 10. ;)

I think there's rampant disappointment with how the WOT series has turned out because it started out so well. I used to buy the new WOT releases in hardcover. I'll probably finish reading the series just to see what (if anything) eventually happens, but I won't buy any more of his books until he's finished the darn thing, and I may skip books if the reviews on Amazon are horrible.

[pconsidine]

A question for the Jordan readers -

Is this (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=290756&postcount=155) actually the first sentence of the first book?

If so, how on earth did you ever get past it?

[aka eraser]

Jordan lost me forever by book five. King's Pet Semetary was the last book I attempted to read by him. Robert Parker's Spenser books started out okay but his evolution into Ultra-Macho-Yet-Super-Sensitive Dude was gaggifying.

[Hang of Thursdays]

ARRRGGGG, now you're walking on hallowed ground. I don't think all his work is equal, but I believe most of it is nothing less than spectacular. I believe Moby Dick is one of the three or four best American novels ever written, and certainly has the best opening of any novel ever written.

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago....

I think this writing is simply as good as writing can possibly get.

Moby Dick makes me swoon like a school girl. I took so long to get to that book, thinking I'd hate it -- because everyone said it was stupid and long and boring -- but that opening...(faints.)

As for writers I can't stand...Well...Da Vinci Code was pretty bad, in my estimation, but probably not the worst thing I've ever read. Likewise, James Patterson's books, good writing or not, annoy the hell out of me. I understand the idea behind the constant chapter breaks, but I can't stand it.

I read a lot of movie novelizations back in middle school/high school. I imagine those were pretty bad, compared to, say, Moby Dick. (faints.)

[inexperiencedinker]

Sooo...i've already posted here once, but I just finished a book that had to be added to the growing list. I finished two days ago, and I can't remember the title of the book. How horrible is that? It was by Steve Martini, it was court room suspense, and it was horrible!! Isn't it considered cheating if you have bit characters get on the stand and TELL you the whole story?!?! Thats like introducing EVERY character in front of a mirror staring at themselves. "I am looking at my brown hair, brown eyes, tan complexion. I am lithe, and 5'6", only about 165 pounds. I have straight teeth. I like pizza and sports. I am macho." BLAH! Relating to another thread, it was also first person present tense, and he didn't even do it well!! How do you know someone you just met is 5'11"? I could imagine..."He is taller than I am, by at least five inches." But, "He is 5'11"". What the 'aych eee double hockey sticks' is that crap!?!? Out of about 350 pages, maybe two were good. He lacked so much in the character development that you didn't find out the main character had custody of his 8 year old daughter until page 190. Isn't that kind of important?? And you found out his wife died and how, on page 335. Helllloooo??!? that is a rather big deal!!!

Whew....maybe this should go on a rant page, rather than here, lol.

[brinkett]

A question for the Jordan readers -

Is this (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=290756&postcount=155) actually the first sentence of the first book?

If so, how on earth did you ever get past it?
"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend."

...isn't a terribly bad sentence (your post includes more than one sentence). And strictly speaking, it's not the first sentence. It's the first sentence in chapter one, but the book contains a prologue.

It got better after that initial paragraph, at least for the first few books.

[pconsidine]

K. Good. Cause if that was the first thing you saw when you opened the book, I was going to have to have anyone who actually read it quarantined, as it would have to be a sign of some sort of viral neurological disease.

[lucidzfl]

I read Maximum Ride, by James Patterson. I finished it, because I was on a 6 hour flight.

God I hate that book.

[Chris P]

Does it count if I didn't finish it? I couldn't finish Naked Lunch, Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana or Natural History

[MartinD]

Jordan lost me forever by book five. King's Pet Semetary was the last book I attempted to read by him. Robert Parker's Spenser books started out okay but his evolution into Ultra-Macho-Yet-Super-Sensitive Dude was gaggifying.

I feel the same way. I really miss the early Spenser.

[willietheshakes]

Does it count if I didn't finish it? I couldn't finish Naked Lunch, Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana or Natural History

Forgive me, but these have NO place on a "worst books" list...

[MartinD]

Oops, hit quick reply too quickly.

At the risk of offending many of the writers here (truly, not my intention), it's been a long time since I've read a good self-published book. I'm still scratching my head over the success of The Celestine Prophecy.

[Phaeal]

The Celestine Prophecy falls into the category of books that tell certain people what they want to hear. Telling people what they want to hear has always been a sure path to popularity.

Discretion keeps me from naming the worst book I've ever read. I have too few potential bridges to burn any. ;)

[mellymel]

I don't want to name names. (Hey, you never know...) but there was a YA book that was a title on an agent's site that recommended this particular book as being a good example of a YA book. I got it from my local library and was sooooooooo happy I didn't buy it. The story seemed really cool, but the delivery (the style of writing) was just awful to me. I think I got to page 39 and gave up. I only lasted that long because I kept hoping that it would change at some point, but nope. The whole book was written in this one style and it annoyed the heck outta me. It's the first book I ever picked up and didn't finish reading (and to think there are 2 more books to the series...yikes!). But, it could just be me. I've heard others like it. Guess it's a preference thing.

[third person]

Holy necro batman.

[eurodan49]

The worst one? Gee…. there’re so many.
Sometimes maybe the book isn’t really so bad, just that the glitter surrounding it is so overwhelming that you expect something outstanding and when it fails to meet that high standard it’s advertised to be my balloon gets deflated.
A great book’s got it all: story, voice, character, action, wordsmithing. Now days, most are considered bestsellers if they manage to pull together two of those.
Uncle Jim mentions repeatedly that agenting is not an entry level job…. well, neither is writing.
While I can find an excuse for the newbie writer I can’t extend that to the agent, editor and publisher…. much less when the writer in question is one with many credits under his belt.

[ceenindee]

EDIT: Eh, it left a bad taste in my mouth bashing another writer, even though I never claimed to be able to do better. So I'll just keep it anonymous. Suffice to say there's a certain vampire romance series that I found disappointing. (And I'm not referring to Twilight...)

[Dorian W. Gray]

By Earnest Hemingway.

Now, this novel is on top ten of any top 100 novels of all times; either, I am an idiot or I missed something entirely, the book has no business to be anywhere on the list of top 100 novels – not even to 10, 000, novels.

Can someone tell me what the novel is about? Other than the stocked answer that the publishers have provided.

What was so good about it, if anything?

Haven't you read so many other intelligent work of literature than this, honestly? This novel has no business to be anywhere on the list.

Can someone tell me what the novel is about? Other than the stock answer that the publishers have provided.

What was so good about it, if anything?

Haven't you read so many other intelligent work of literature than this - Hemingway?

[friendlyhobo]

I've started a lot of books I thought were bad, I just don't finish them.
The worst I actually got through? Photographing Fairies by Steve Szilagyi. I only read it because I was on a trip and had purchased it so foolhardily from a used book store, desperate for something, anything, to read. One of the few times I regret a trip to a book store...

[Libbie]

Now that I am tiptoeing ever closer to being a professional writer of fiction, I feel that I should act as professionally as possible online and really shouldn't dig myself any holes I might have to get back out of later on. That being said, the worst published book I've ever read will remain anonymous, but it was made into a movie starring Glen Close. Man, I hated that book.

[emma_kate]

Do I pick just one? LOL. That's hard for me to narrow down. I guess the publishing of bad books just goes to show there is hope for anyone, of any level of skills out there (or with just a bad plot) :P :D I'm a serial reader and I have read a couple in the past that have made me throw them over my shoulder, never to be looked at again and destined to collect dust in the corner...

;) LOL.

[jodiodi]

I don't know if I've posted in this forum before, but I think the worst book I ever read wa one my mother and I both read when I was younger. I can't remember the author. I think the book was called Callie or something like that.

1. She was just so freakin' brave no matter what happened.
2. The book referred to things that were never in the book to begin with.
3. The FMC said many times no one in her family lived past their 30th birthday and throughout the entire book, which took place over several months, her 30th birthday was "just a few days away".

I don't know if it was the writer, editor or a combination of both but that book became a standard forr my mother and me. When we'd read a book and give a review to each other, we'd use that book as the standard for bad.

[shaldna]

So you end up reading Silas Marner...REALLY hard to come up with a worse one than that. .


I loved Silas Marner. But I'm a huge Eliot fan.

My opinion on the worst books ever written (or the ones that I have read anyway)

1. Breaking Wind (otherwise known as The Sparkly Book Of Uterus Eating, book four in The Series Which Shall Not Be Named) - I mean, SERIOUSLY who decided that was a childrens book? Because they need sectioned. Can we say child grooming? Ugh. No. Just No. Take it away.

2.Women in Love - Three hours of my live I won't ever get back.

[inkspatters]

Utopia by Thomas More made me want to claw my eyes out -- where was the story? where was the characterisation? And I haaaated the factual tone. I don't care if the book wasn't written for my personal enjoyment, but with some greater message in mind. I don't care if it pioneered the entire genre of utopias and dystopias. Hated it. Absolutely hated it.

Of course, this may have something to do with the fact that I was forced to read it for high school english *shrug*

[backslashbaby]

Hospital by Toby Litt.

I'm also not a fan of most Palahniuk. Later Palahniuk, anyway.

[orangejuice]

I'm going to randomly chip in here. ;)

1. Twilight. The fact that it got published makes me rage, let alone people praising it...
2. Michael Crichton. I tried to read 'Ice Station'. The characters were just faceless musclebound heroes, and I was really glad when some of them started dying. I actually felt more connected to the weapons, considering the amount of description he gives the damn things.
3. Dan Brown. I also tried reading the Da Vinci Code. Same as Michael Crichton, just with even more inaccurate 'factual description' and 'thrilling suspense'. If I want suspense, I now know to watch a rerun of M*A*S*H*.
4. Harry Potter. Overrated. It's good, but not as good as everyone's hyping it up to be. I would probably have put it at number one, but then Twilight came along... so yeah.

[Cliff Face]

I can't remember the name or the author, but it sucked.

(See, I can participate too!)

[willietheshakes]

I'm going to randomly chip in here. ;)

1. Twilight. The fact that it got published makes me rage, let alone people praising it...
2. Michael Crichton. I tried to read 'Ice Station'. The characters were just faceless musclebound heroes, and I was really glad when some of them started dying. I actually felt more connected to the weapons, considering the amount of description he gives the damn things.
3. Dan Brown. I also tried reading the Da Vinci Code. Same as Michael Crichton, just with even more inaccurate 'factual description' and 'thrilling suspense'. If I want suspense, I now know to watch a rerun of M*A*S*H*.
4. Harry Potter. Overrated. It's good, but not as good as everyone's hyping it up to be. I would probably have put it at number one, but then Twilight came along... so yeah.

Near as I can reckon, Crichton never wrote a book called Ice Station, so it seems...problematic... to blame him for its failings...

[Barbara R.]

what's the worst published novel you ever read (published the traditional way, not a P.O.D. or web book; one that a publisher actually purchased and printed hard copies)? There are so many I started and put down forever after the first chapter, so how about limiting this to books you made it to at least half-way through or to the end. And why was it so damn bad?

Tough call. I'd say THE DAVINCI CODE was one of the worst books I've ever read all the way through. Not sure why I kept going. There was no characterization and the plot was absurd.

But I think HANNIBAL trumps that one. I'm a great admirer of Tom Harris. I don't think I've ever read a better thriller than RED DRAGON. But HANNIBAL seemed to me a book that never should have been written. No amount of sad backstory is every going to justify a cannibalistic serial killer, and I thought it folly to try.

John Gardner, in one of his books on fiction, argued that there are moral and immoral novels, and the distinction has nothing to do with sex or with the bad guy getting his just desserts. Gardner posited a man standing on a high ledge, preparing to jump. If this person could be persuaded to read a novel before jumping, would he, after reading, come in off the ledge, or would he jump? That's his criterion; and by that standard, I'd say HANNIBAL was the worse of the two books.

[angeliz2k]

Utopia by Thomas More made me want to claw my eyes out -- where was the story? where was the characterisation? And I haaaated the factual tone. I don't care if the book wasn't written for my personal enjoyment, but with some greater message in mind. I don't care if it pioneered the entire genre of utopias and dystopias. Hated it. Absolutely hated it.

Of course, this may have something to do with the fact that I was forced to read it for high school english *shrug*

Ah, but Utopia really isn't a novel. Novels as we know them didn't exist. There isn't supposed to be plot or characterization. It's simply him relating a vision he has of a perfect place--or maybe of a place that's so perfect it's horrible. No one is sure whether he really thought Utopia was an example of how society should be, or a satirical/ironic portrayal of a place that was "nowhere".

[Ehab.Ahmed]

Well, it's hard to say which book was the worst, but I can definitely say which one still tastes sour everytime I think about bad books... The Number Of The Beast by Robert A. Heinlein. This book was so boring and self-indulgent that I literally couldn't finish reading it!

[Phaeal]

By Earnest Hemingway.



Ah, the importance of being Ernest.

[jannawrites]

I would never give the title or author's name; I feel it's disrespectful. But I've read plenty of disappointing titles. And this from household names, those who've published time and again. It makes me wonder, have they always written this way? Have standards changed? Have the writers' efforts changed, so they've grown lazy, or are they too rushed through the process? It's all very curious to me.

[Renee Collins]

*groans*

Not this again.

[Eddyz Aquila]

Wow. Talk about thread necromancy. It's five years old!

Anyways, I'm naming only one, because I think it actually does fit at the Worst. The others I had in mind are just simply a matter of personal taste.

Lost Symbol - Dan Brown

Langdon was so boring and so damn annoying with his facts I wanted to scream at him. It was just horrible. And I paid the hardcover price too! :(

[ilookcool]

Twilight, anytime. It made me nauseated, literally. I don't know why.

[Cyia]

Considering something worse can always come along, I can't answer this question until I'm dead, and by then I won't care.

[Shady Lane]

The Kite Runner.

[sleepsheep]

I've read a lot of terrible books. But, it really comes down to managing expectations. Nothing is worse than picking up a book by a long-time favorite author who has been super fantastic in the past, and finding that the book sucks. The most prominent example of this was "Old Twentieth" by Haldeman. I've read everything (EVERYTHING!) else by him, and while some weren't as awesome as the others, they were all really good. "Old Twentieth" was awful, and more so, because I had such high hopes for it. I actually fell asleep reading it, which is a terrible sign, as I am known to stay up all night to finish a good book.

[Shinto]

Everything my Thomas Pynchon. The worst would probably be Mason Dixon.

[jodiodi]

Having nothing but time to think here in the hospital, I remembered another book that may seriously give Callie a run for the title of worst book I've ever read.

The Last of the Mohicans.

My God. I was on page 20 and it was still describing scenery. How it became a classic is beyond me.

[stormie]

I've started a lot of books I thought were bad, I just don't finish them.
Same here. If I can't get past the first 50 or so pages, that's it. Done.

[Lady Ice]

I also didn't enjoy any of the Steinbech books I had to read for English.


Could at least spell his name right. 'Of Mice and Men' was very good; not sure whether the others would be to my taste but it is a good book.

I really liked Women in Love, although at times the philosophy bogged it down; it actually put forward an interesting argument and was certainly worth publishing.

Joyce's short stories aren't that bad; don't fancy reading any of his novels though.


Sometimes I think people are under the belief that publishing should be entirely centred around their personal tastes and that obviously their opinion is far worthier than the decades of literary critical opinions. You don't have to read books you don't like (except for school and even then there's probably something in there of merit)

On Chesil Beach was pretty dire. An experiment gone wrong, I think.

[Inkblot]

Impossible to choose. I'd rather nominate my pick for "most over-rated." And that was Cold Mountain.

[Margarita Skies]

I'm sorry to bump this old thread further, but I've read the whole thing, and the thread is very entertaining. :)

[romancewriter]

I picked up a romance a few years ago from a defunct Harlequin series. I'd never read any of the series so I thought I'd give it a try. I doubt if the entire line was as bad as that particular book, or maybe it was that's why it wasn't marketed for very long. Anyway the hero of the tale was supposed to be one of those shock radio jock type guys. Kind of offensive but usually truthful and often hilarious. I wasn't too far into the story before I realized that the author was waaaayyyy out of her league with that type of character. Her idea of a shock jock, and I kid you not, was in response to an on air ad for the hottest new beauty salon was to tell the audience 'if it's so hot then turn on the air conditioner'. Needless to say I didn't read another word.

[GMF]

Sorry to resurrect such an old thread, but I'm new here and found this discussion interesting.

The absolute worst published book I've ever read was The Day After Tomorrow by Allan Folsom. Whoever edited that thing should have been fired.

[Guardian]

Me and My Poop: A Sordid Love Affair

[FOTSGreg]

Since we're dealing with zombie threads (or could it be Cthulhuian? "That is not dead which can eternal lie...")...

I absolutely loathed the Thomas Covenant series. The only reason I read any of them past the first was to see if Covenant redeemed himself (hopefully by dying violently while saving the Land).

The Sword Of Shanara series became so utterly cookie cutter after the second book that my friends and I started calling it "the cash cow of Shanara".

I, too, cannot read The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon and that book and Insomnia remain two of King's book's that put me off reading him until he wrote From A Buick 8 which I loved.

I got about halfway through the first book of the Left Behind series and never picked it up again.

Out Of The Dark by David Weber was horrible. Cliched, poorly edited, and the twist is one I saw coming two thirds of the way through and it absolutely sucked as$.

[third person]

This thread is from 2000-freaking-5. Shoot it in the head. Twice. Then set it on fire.

[HistoryLvr]

The Healer's Apprentice. Christian evangelism marketed as YA Historical Fiction. Absolutely terrible.

[HistoryLvr]

The Healer's Apprentice. Christian evangelism marketed as YA Historical Fiction. Absolutely terrible.

[CAgirlforever]

Okay. I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for this because it's a classic, but I absolutely hated, I mean truly loathed, Great Expectations. Don't get me wrong, I know that Dickens was an amazing writer, but I was forced to read this book against my will in high school and I wanted to run through the streets shouting at the top of my lungs for everyone to grab a copy of this book and burn it. It was so boring, so long, and so stupid that I have blocked most of it from my memory. On a related note, the song "Great Expectations" by The Gaslight Anthem is fantasic. It even mentions a girl named Estella.

http://willowwriter.blogspot.com

[gothicangel]

Okay. I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for this because it's a classic, but I absolutely hated, I mean truly loathed, Great Expectations. Don't get me wrong, I know that Dickens was an amazing writer, but I was forced to read this book against my will in high school and I wanted to run through the streets shouting at the top of my lungs for everyone to grab a copy of this book and burn it. It was so boring, so long, and so stupid that I have blocked most of it from my memory. On a related note, the song "Great Expectations" by The Gaslight Anthem is fantasic. It even mentions a girl named Estella.

http://willowwriter.blogspot.com

Really? I think Great Expectations is a fantastic thriller.

[Ervin]

I've read all of the twilight books, and while they're bad, I can see why some people like them. They appeal to people the same way fan-fiction does - they're massive Mary-Sues.

I hate almost anything Stephen King. Except for On Writing, that one was great, everything else sucks. Here's everything of his that I read, in order that I read them in:

The Gunslinger - I literally read 90% of this book and gave up toward the end. I simply didn't know what the point was. Just some guy traveling with a kid and seeing some weird stuff. 90% of the way through I still didn't know what the book was about except that he was chasing some guy. Oh and the fantasy elements had no creativity to them at all.

Lisey's story - Read a few chapters in and gave up because it just wasn't going anywhere.

Carrie - Only other book I finished and was really disappointed. Ridiculously exaggerated and unrealistic characters and no point to the story at all, just some weird girl going on a rampage.

Can a Stephen King fan please tell me what the hell am I missing in his books?

[shelleyo]

But if you mean which published novel I hated above all others, it's not even a contest. That novel would be Ulysses by James Joyce.

I started that one once. Didn't finish it.

My most-hated book of all time is Gulliver's Travels. I can't adequately express my loathing for every word.

The book I read that I thought was the most poorly written was a romance paperback I read once because I had nothing else on hand and someone left it in the lobby of the hotel where I worked. I worked nights doing the bookkeeping and could often read for hours when it was slow, as it was that night. I can't remember the name of it or the author, but I think it was put out by Leisure. It was boring and predictable, and it felt the writer followed a formula with each bland character--good trait, bad trait, quirk--and introduced them in pretty much that order.

It took a couple of hours of my life in which I might have done something more interesting like watch apples brown.

Shelley

[Rain Gnome]

I just finished reading the worst book I've ever read.

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. Way too passive-aggressive to really be enjoyable. Every single main character cries several times throughout the novel, sometimes just because of what they believe someone says or thinks. Nobody can just act human. In 400 pages, there must be about 200 instances of crying.

You can also take the main character out of the story and it's the exact same story (up until the very last page). It's too obviously didactic, and the characters just speak the lesson Gaskell wants to teach rather than how they would actually speak (i.e. even children speak like scholars). It's supposed to be an inspiring story about class struggles: north/south, rich/poor, man/woman but that's just tacked on. The main character is really just dismissive of anything not relating to her. I like to think that north/south refers to passive/aggresive.

Before I read North and South, it was And Another Thing, the newest Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book. I actually enjoyed the first 80 pages or so. There were even some laugh-out-loud jokes in that part of it, not unlike the first couple books of the series.

Arthur and Ford are reduced to nonessential characters, and like in North and South they can be removed completely without altering any part of the plot. It's essentially a novel about Zaphod, which wouldn't be entirely bad, but it still doesn't work. Character's magically know things they shouldn't know, just so that the story can unfold. The second half of the book also felt like a first-draft that had to be published because the author ran out of time.

[Aidan Watson-Morris]

Deception Point by Dan Brown.