Can you help me with my plot, please?

Do you intend for all these events in her life to tie in again somehow later?
I think what you've created sounds interesting, but there doesn't seem to be any major plot line, right?
How about if you add more details about her wanting a mother/wishing she could find her mother in the earlier parts of your story (ie, perhaps after Brian has committed suicide she longs for the comfort of her mother's arms). Then you could bring in that mysterious person to the bone watching area. Perhaps she thinks the person is trying to steal/do something with the bones, but it could really be her mother coming to watch/check out her daughter? And why would her mother prefer to observe her daughter instead of meet her?
I just think you need to start pulling it together in a linear storyline so that I want to turn the page. Right now it sounds like you have vignettes of someone's life, but not enough to make a page-turning novel.
Good luck!

Hi, starrykitten! I'll give this a shot.

It sounds like an interesting story could be floating around in here. Do you know if you're aiming for a mystery, something supernatural, a thriller...it could go any direction at this point.

This first thing that concerns me is that you said Penelope doesn't do anything; things happen to her. Penelope can have a lackadaisical attitude, but she still has to be the one that causes the action in the story. For example, you said "something brings her to New Orleans." Maybe the trauma of her boyfriend committing suicide could drive her to move. Maybe she discovers her mother isn't dead, and ran off to be a Mardi Gras costume designer. But whatever it is, it needs to be motivated by Penelope.

Again, she can still have a reluctant attitude. I think it's funny that she cheated on her boyfriend just because she doesn't like saying no. Well, not funny, but...you know what I mean.

Personally, I love supernatural stuff, so I'd grab onto this cool stash of bones job idea and run with it. I'd use the mother idea as well, that could come in handy. But like I said, you could go a lot of ways with this if supernatural isn't your thing.

Good luck!

The bones are by far the most interesting thing for me in the outline above. Boyfriend killing himself sounds lame as baldly stated. This incident would need some build-up, some development of a weakness in the boyfriend that will allow the reader to believe he'd commit suicide over the MC's wish-washy fall into infidelity.

Paramount: the MC must make things happen. A passive MC quickly tires most readers, though a lot of postmodern fic does seem to produce this sort of character in its unending struggle to express the deep postmodern theme of "Whatever."

Poetry to long-form fiction IS a big jump. Poetry excels at the discrete moment, emotion, image -- at points in time and space. The novel excels at drawing lines between the points, sometimes straight, sometimes meandering, so that the points add up to a coherent journey. So if you have a number of "power" points in what you've written so far (say, wandering Mom, suicide Boyfriend, Bag of Bones), your job is to figure out how these points can be linked to exhibit and change the MC's character. Because in a character-driven story, it's the MC's change or disasterous failure to change that makes the plot.

You have a ton going on in such a short story. Things that would help us to make suggestions (well me anyway):

Do you plan to keep only 50K word count? The reason this is important (to me)? If you plan to keep at 50 K you may have to cut some stuff and flesh the plots you do have to create a total story for this MC and develop her fully. A lot CAN happen in shorter novels - for sure. But, busy novels are, well, just busy. For entertainment - is fine, but I do not care to read a story where there is just a ton dropped in that does not connect - or in some small way there is no sense to having it in the story - or it does not drive the story to have it in. I do not like to read (though others may) reading "victim" stories - stories where the characters have no driving strength or do not find some in the tale to resolve the conflicts tossed their way - even if they cannot resolve all of them.

Too much is happening (it seems from your bit up there) in such short span without direction as to WHY they happen or HOW they affect the character and drive her next encounters/situations. THOUGH, you only put in a blurb up there and there is surely a ton more. But seems little character development and just a lot of "stuff." A main character in her life - Brian - dying by suicide but we know nothing about him? Seems extreme measure for him to take and his character developement could add a lot. For, is likely something related to him and their relationship that allowed her to stray. People do not often just sleep around to please others - they often do it for lack of feeling loved or lack of self love/worth and look to find such in that manner. If we know him - it will come clearer why she slept with another while involved with him. Does not make sense one just loses morals for they cannot say "no" to anyone - unless that is her true character throughout (but that was not relayed in your OP). That is a bit of a cop out (in my opinion) to say she is "loose" (or imply she is) for being a "people pleaser" type person. Unless, again, along the way - she falls prey to this type of decision all along and sleeps around a ton. That part? Just seems a bit off to me. Now, surely there are some men/women like that. But, I reconcile that most do it for lack in themselves - not for wanting to please another.

I do not think you can cut the mom dying/leaving bit. That will be huge to her overall character development - as it is for all children who lose a parent. Even one they did not know.

Her father being a minister could be a catalyst for rebellion (anger over moving all the time, lying to her about her mom, strict religious figure that disallowed boundary testing as a youth, etc.). So, that may be important to keep too.

The bone thing sounds cool - but would need fleshing and detail to convey the uniqueness and the circumstance that brings her to that situation. A lot could be added there to make it focal (if you are looking to make it focal).

Are planning to add word count? You have a lot there and can just flesh each part more fully to drive the character development and create a fuller story with the "events" occuring spread out a bit with the character developments in relation to the things that happen. I mean something is felt, reacted to in each situation. That could be told more fully.

She cannot convey where she wants you to take her/her story for she is not firm yet. She is all over the place and a "weaker" character for all happening TO her. She has no control in the story (as you have conveyed - though she may have more control which you did not relate) - so she has no voice to give to you to write in her. You will find her voice when you firm her up. Which, seems you are trying to do. She may even have a voice, but is muted with all the "stuff" in the story. Give her a strength. Give her a goal and she will tell you how to achieve that within the story. May change some things that occur - but if you give her something to work with - she will work for you. She cannot work if she is merely a vicitm in your story who has bad things happen all the time.

Good luck!

Christine

The core of plot is conflict. To have conflict, the protagonist has to have a goal. This goal can be thrust upon her by circumstances, it could even be a negative goal (something to avoid), but she has to have one. So the first questions you have to ask yourself are: what does she want and what is she willing to do to get it, and what does she hate and what is she willing to do to avoid it?

And then make it hard for her. Something, or better yet somebody, should get in the way of achieving this goal. That is conflict. So the next question is: who or what is stopping her from attaining her goal or pushing her toward what she most wants to avoid? Why?

You need a goal, you need conflict, and you need stakes. So the next question is: what will happen if she doesn't reach her goal?

Make the answers to these questions something a reader will care about. And every scene you write should tie into these questions somehow.

For example, in my current WIP, a young woman is thrust into queenship by the unexpected deaths of her father and brother. She wasn't adequately prepared for leadership and it is a time of profound social change anyway, so a lot of the old rules and assumptions aren't working. She has a good heart and a good head, but she's still a teenager. She just wishes she could get back to her horses and go riding. Her goal has been thrust upon her by circumstances, her upbringing and her own character but she embraces it. She just wants to be a good queen and like everybody else, to be happy.

Social upheaval, a military advisor with extremist views who doesn't hesitate to take action to implement them, a love interest that will only exacerbate social and religious tensions, there are plenty of things to make this really, really hard. Add to that the fact that her two goals seem to be mutually exclusive and this poor kid is going to have a rough ride. And if she doesn't pull it all together, it's going to have consequences way beyond her own personal happiness.

So there you have a goal, conflict, and stakes. Everything I write should tie into these things and/or explore themes of self-sacrifice and religious extremism. Otherwise, no matter how beautiful the writing, it has to go. If you've got bits that won't fit into the overall plot, turn them into short stories. But as far as the novel goes, kill your darlings. Don't hold onto anything that doesn't contribute.

Brainstorming

When she is in her early 20s, she's developed a talent for photography and she lives in a trailer with her boyfriend Brian. We don't learn much about Brian. In Penelope's strangely passive way, she has a hard time saying no to things and ends up having sex with someone else. Brian hangs himself the next day. (This stuff I really do want to keep, mostly because I think the writing is excellent and this is essential to her character.)

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I, like others, have a hard time buying into the fact that she has sex because she can't say no. Attacked I could buy into, though. So, she comes home to find her boyfriend dead and now she has no one she can turn to for comfort and understanding. Here, for whatever reason, the thought crossed my mind that this was not her boyfriend but could be her brother instead. What if he didn't hang himself but it was made to look like he did? What if he found out something about her/their mother and had been looking into it but hadn't wanted to tell her until he found substantial evidence? So, his death was a cover-up. Your MC knows in her heart he would never kill himself, and here you would need to give her something that tells her she is also in trouble if she stays around. Maybe he has a lock box at the bank and she finds a lead there? A slip of paper that says "Mom isn't dead" and under that "New Orleans" maybe an address or not, whichever fits.

Now things get really weird; feel free to laugh. Something brings Penelope to New Orleans and she gets a job watching over this stash of bones. Currently the bones are the skeletons of people who died during the influenza epidemic and weren't given proper burial or identified and the church has some superstition about them. That's totally weak, but I like her having the weird bone-watching job.

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Not laughing. Like the idea of the stash of bones. Could tie this in with her mother, too. If Mom isn't dead then why did she leave? To protect those she loved? Mom found out something but what you'd have to figure out. Could her talent for photography have come from her mother? That would give you a connection between them. And who was the watcher of the bones before? Maybe Mom?

Those are the big things that have happened so far; it's only 50k. I was trying to launch a few other plotlines that could end up going somewhere forward since the above plots are so rooted in the past. I thought of having a mysterious person start showing up at the bone-place, and there's mentions of odd deaths in the area. Neither of those do much for me, though.

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Mysterious person showing up, I think, is good. A man who in the end shows her how to trust and love others and become a stronger person. This doesn't mean she should trust him right away, in fact, she shouldn't, but maybe he has a few answers even though those bring up more questions.

Just because things happen to her doesn't mean she should be complacent. Give her choices with each problem and then she has to chose which path to take. Make sure each path leads her into more problems. You have to put roadblocks in your characters way. She has to decide whether she jumps over them or finds a way around them.

Pin down the main plot, then bring in a couple or so sub-plots. Be careful you don't end up with to many or it will get tangled in a way you won't be able to unravel. You do have a lot to work with and different ways to take it, you just need to figure out which one will work for you and the story.

I think that's in part because this is a very character-driven novel and my main character is, unfortunately, hard to write. She's not one of those characters who just opens up or actually does anything; things happen to her. I really like her but I haven't found ways to get her to work a little harder for me. I do want to keep working on this--it's hard to articulate what's compelling about her character and the interactions that sets up, but it's something I would enjoy reading.

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This sounds like you want to write a literary novel, one that is character driven, rather than plot driven. But your character needs to have depth, be motivated, and proactive. All the action could be internal and psychological, but she can't be just pushed around by the flow. She has to react to conflicts either internal or external, and struggle to overcome - be proactive in her struggle, whether it is psychological growth, or fighting some external enemy. I would think a purely psychological novel would be harder to write well but if that is what you really want to do then you should go for it.

My MC, Penelope, grew up near Savannah. Her father was a Methodist minister so she moved around a decent bit and acquired a certain social awkwardness. She was always told that her mother had died when she was little, but during the novel she finds out that her mother really just left when she was young.(I haven't yet proven how this is essential to her character and could scrap this stuff.)

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Figure out how to make it essential to her character. It adds depth and complexity, I like it. But if you keep it you'll have to tie it together in the end.

When she is in her early 20s, she's developed a talent for photography and she lives in a trailer with her boyfriend Brian. We don't learn much about Brian. In Penelope's strangely passive way, she has a hard time saying no to things and ends up having sex with someone else. Brian hangs himself the next day. (This stuff I really do want to keep, mostly because I think the writing is excellent and this is essential to her character.)

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I have a few problems with this. She's living "in sin" with her boyfriend and she also has sex with another guy. This is the syndrome of "daughter of preacher is bad girl" and is kind of cliche. If you do this, I would like to see some good development as to why and how she got to that point. One presumes her father raised her with "morals" and you can't just plunk her into these acts without giving us pretty strong reasons why she strayed from the path. If she is just weak-minded and went along with persuasive guys, then you need to be careful. Weak-mindedness without good reason in an MC is despised by readers. Far better is to give her some very strong reason that compels her to act this way. The stereotypical young girl is sexually promiscuous as a reaction to an absent or emotionally distant father. You could do a twist on that theme; and tie this behavior into her feelings about missing her mother.

I agree with the others that Brian hanging himself is jarring, but that isn't to say you can't have him hang himself first, then explain it. But it needs to be followed quickly if not prefixed by some kind of explanation. We need to have a sense of how he was driven to commit such an act. We need to be shown that he had no other choice. This needs to be shown either before, or very soon after the event, or I think the reader will not find it credible. Hanging him first, then explaining it after, is very fair; that happens to people in real life all the time. "I never knew he was unhappy, he didn't seem depressed." Yet after the fact you begin to remember hints, little signs, but often you don't fully understand the turmoil a suicide was in until afterwards. But in a book, you better bring the MC to that understanding pretty quickly or the reader will be annoyed.

Now things get really weird; feel free to laugh. Something brings Penelope to New Orleans and she gets a job watching over this stash of bones. Currently the bones are the skeletons of people who died during the influenza epidemic and weren't given proper burial or identified and the church has some superstition about them. That's totally weak, but I like her having the weird bone-watching job.

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Agree with the others that "something" can't bring her to New Orleans, a strong thing needs to bring her. Preferably a well motivated proactive choice she makes. I LOVE the skeleton/bone-watching thing! That's NOT totally weak; it's the most interesting thing about the story to me so far.

Those are the big things that have happened so far; it's only 50k. I was trying to launch a few other plotlines that could end up going somewhere forward since the above plots are so rooted in the past. I thought of having a mysterious person start showing up at the bone-place, and there's mentions of odd deaths in the area. Neither of those do much for me, though.

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That's okay, the story isn't fully formed yet. Maybe there will be mysterious people showing up and odd deaths, see where it goes. If they don't do much for you, something else will need to happen to move the story forward. You need to decide exactly what you're wanting to say with this story. Does she meet another man and finally find fulfilling love? Does she discover things about her mother and the book becomes a hunt to solve that mystery? Does she end up being chased by bad people relating to her new job? You've left it open-ended. Any of the above is fine, it's what you want to say and do with this character. But whatever it is, the story needs to move in strong and interesting ways.

When is this set? "Photographer living in trailer" sounds like now, or at least the past few decades; "watching the bones of the dead from an influenza epidemic" sounds like 1918, unless you are doing a speculative story about a near-future epidemic.

ClaudiaGray said:

When is this set? "Photographer living in trailer" sounds like now, or at least the past few decades; "watching the bones of the dead from an influenza epidemic" sounds like 1918, unless you are doing a speculative story about a near-future epidemic.

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I was assuming it was a museum?

[/quote] I thought of having a mysterious person start showing up at the bone-place, and there's mentions of odd deaths in the area. Neither of those do much for me, though.[/quote]

I think the bone thing is the way to go. I don't know how old these bones are but say someone's murdered bones could have been maybe hidden in with these bones of people killed by the plague or whatever. If the bones are found and its DNA reveals the identity or way of death the murderer is exposed or loses an enheritance or whatever.

starrykitten said:

My MC, Penelope, grew up near Savannah. Her father was a Methodist minister so she moved around a decent bit and acquired a certain social awkwardness. She was always told that her mother had died when she was little, but during the novel she finds out that her mother really just left when she was young.(I haven't yet proven how this is essential to her character and could scrap this stuff.) Every story needs a starting point. So if this is your starting point and gives the reader a clue into the soul of Penelope then keep this paragraph and add the mother's death only if it's essential to build the MC.

When she is in her early 20s, she's developed a talent for photography and she lives in a trailer with her boyfriend Brian. We don't learn much about Brian. In Penelope's strangely passive way, she has a hard time saying no to things and ends up having sex with someone else. Brian hangs himself the next day. (This stuff I really do want to keep, mostly because I think the writing is excellent and this is essential to her character.) Then keep this section and maybe add a little of Brian's past so when Brian hangs himself it doesn't shock the reader. Which can be both good and bad.

Now things get really weird; feel free to laugh. Something brings Penelope to New Orleans and she gets a job watching over this stash of bones. Currently the bones are the skeletons of people who died during the influenza epidemic and weren't given proper burial or identified and the church has some superstition about them. That's totally weak, but I like her having the weird bone-watching job. What you could plug in is that Brian's suicide forced Penelope to seek refuge somewhere else, so when the offer came up she accepted.

Those are the big things that have happened so far; it's only 50k. I was trying to launch a few other plotlines that could end up going somewhere forward since the above plots are so rooted in the past. I thought of having a mysterious person start showing up at the bone-place, and there's mentions of odd deaths in the area. Neither of those do much for me, though.

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Write the story and see where it leads you. It could take you in a totally new direction that you never thought of.

Good luck with it.

I am going to tell you right off the bat that I know nothing about the years of epidemics in New Orleans and didn't bother to google them, but I do know that there were times in history where non-Christians (or non-Catholics) weren't buried in church cemetaries. (Which is one reason Marie LaVeux isn't buried under that name.)

IF the bones in question are from am excommunicated Catholic, or some such, then you might have a legit reason for them to have not been buried in the cemetary.

As to why she's in New Orleans. She's a photog, right? So she decides to start a new life where she's more in control (and less passive...) If she's freelance, she hears this story about the unburied body of a wrongly accused man (woman, whatever) who was kicked out of his/her parish and not granted burial. She thinks it'll make a great story, if she can find the bones - maybe even find a way to get them buried.

She locates the bones, and ends up having to watch over them (or she's watching over them while she's figuring out the particulars of her story)

Maybe creepy bone guy doesn't like the idea of the bones getting a lot of new attention.

I haven't understood what this story is about or even what kind of story it is .
Is it about a woman coming to terms with who she is? Is it a mystery? Who is the mother why did she go? Is this all preamble to a different kind of story about the bones?
If you don't know yet I think that is the first thing I'd need to decide. What is the story problem? What are the external isssues/drivers and what the internal and what has to happen to resolve them?

I don't know how you work but if this were my draft I'd probably decide what the story was about - work out a story arc and either trim what I had to fit it or start again, treating the original draft as a practise run and maybe reusing some of the material.
50k is a lot of words and if you don't have a clear idea of where it is going by now it probably isn't going anywhere. YMMV