Looking for a little advice...

WKolodzieski · Apr 12, 2009

Okay so I'm starting to get my notes and head in place for my next project since the first draft of current WIP will be done in less than a month. My only problem is I would like some feedback as to what some other people think; I'd hate to waste the 2 - 6 months it'll take me to work on this story if it doesn't seem to have merit. (Also, if this is in the wrong place, I apologize and feel free to move it.) Here it goes.

Genre: YA mystery/horror with some black humor.

It's set in a fictional campground (let's call it Dragonfly Camp) over the course of a summer. Involved will be the conflict of 3 (probably 4, though) MC's investigating some so-called "cult" on the outskirts of the camp. It turns out to be some kind of devil-worshipping cult bent on human and animal sacrifice, and intrigues the characters enough that they each become entangled in the plot in various ways. Also involved will be a romantic aspect between two of the characters, but the girl is not allowed to date him as it goes against the highly religious mother's views, which in turn may lead to the girls rebellion and her showing interest in the cult. I don't have much more than this yet, besides the way it will be told.

From either 3 (or 4) MC's POVs in 1st person, each of them with a segment to narrate. Then the final segment will be told from each of them in smaller chapters, conluding the story. There will also be some non-linear aspects to the storytelling to tie in different storylines.

My overall goal of the project is to create a satire of organized religion.

I was just wondering what people over here in YA thought about this, and I know I posted very little of the actual story and I'm sorry for that.

Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated; and I do apologize for the long post.

Thank you,
Wally

shokadh · Apr 12, 2009

WKolodzieski said:
My overall goal of the project is to create a satire of organized religion.

Thank you,
Wally

I would start from the goals of your premise. Is this to "educate" young adults on the pitfalls of joining organized religion in a fictional setting, to poke fun at stereotypes of organized religion, or to offer alternatives to organized religion, etc? Is it to encourage young adults to develop their own thoughts about religion, independent of their parents, culture, upbringing, etc?

Then when you've established your own goals for the piece, you can build the themes into the narrative, work in dialogue, etc.

I don't think young adults are adverse to hearing alternatives or to being educated or to being given options for what they believe, but from my experience they don't like being preached at from either side of the fence. They do like to hear the options presented in an interesting (even fun and humorous fictional) manner and then have the freedom to make up their own minds.

WKolodzieski · Apr 12, 2009

The goal would be for them to come up with their own opinions and ideas about religion free from parental control and/or cultural upbringing and it is definetly not to preach to them but through the humor and mystery in the story, I think they'd be able to have that freedom from which you speak.

There will also be more coming-of-age issues addressed in the story, as well.

Thank you for your response.

tiger-lily · Apr 12, 2009

Your premise isn't the message or theme you want to get across to your reader. Premise is the basis of your story -the situation and conflict the characters face. It sounds as if you might have four stories to tell. Have you thought of a series? One book for each character? Fiction requires one POV MC, even when you have scenes in other character's POV. If you are determined to have 4 POV MCs, then maybe you could divide the book into Book 1 , Book 2, and so forth...and then bring it all together in Book 5. Kate DiCamillo does this in Tales of Despereaux, however, there is still one POV MC -Despereaux. He begins and ends the story. The "books" in between tell the other character's stories and then bring them all back together for the climax and resolution. POV and head hopping is a tricky thing for the most talented and experienced writer...plan and write with care...

WKolodzieski · Apr 12, 2009

Fiction doesn't require just one POV, I don't understand what you're saying here. I definetly don't have 4 books, I just have one. I'm just choosing to write it in 1st person with 4 different people telling the story - it would be the same if I told it in 3rd person, which I'm choosing not to. I do understand that by doing it this way I will have to be expecially careful while writing it (which is my biggest concern) and the story could be written with a lot less headaches if I just chose to do it in 3rd person, but I'm stubborn and think I could pull it off this way.

I appreciate your response however, thank you. And if anybody else has any suggestions or criticism please feel free to join in and say so.

wandergirl · Apr 12, 2009

I like it. Cults & camps both totally fascinate me. If you can write it well, I think it's a winning combo.

Just stay away from witchcraft/horror movie camp cliches. That'll be the key. I recommend reading Bliss by Lauren Myracle. I enjoyed it, though the ending was weak. But what I enjoyed the most was the total unexpected weirdness of the character Sandy. Seriously deranged, but unique and memorable.

suki · Apr 12, 2009

It sounds ambitious. Multiple POVs add complexity (though I agree, they are done).

And the mystery coupled with the romance subplot would be enough for many books.

So adding in the other themes/issues you intend to tackle, I have to admit that it sounds like you're trying to cram too much into one book. And I wonder how the commentary on organized religion will play out (ie, can it be done subtly enough with a cult in there not to feel clumsy, while also be clear enough to be perceived by the reader, with all the other stuff going on).

BUT, I also say go for it and see what happens. You can always take a chainsaw to the draft in revisions. See where the story takes you.

~suki

Danthia · Apr 13, 2009

I'll tell you the same thing my agent tells me when I ask her these kinds of questions:

It's impossible to say, because it all depends on the book.

What I can say based on your post, is that your comment: "My overall goal of the project is to create a satire of organized religion." concerns me a little. This tells me you're more concerned with the idea than the story, and you could be setting yourself up for a premise novel. I don't yet see a story, just a situation you want to explore. (You very well may have a story and just didn't talk about it) What problem(s) are these four people trying to overcome? What are the stakes? Don't just focus on the situation. Readers care about people first.

If this is a story that interests you and you feel passionate about it, write it. As you develop it, think about the characters and what they're trying to do. Stories are about people, not situations or themes. Think about your premise, but then put your characters into it and keep asking yourself, who are these people? What do they have to gain? What do they have to lose? What are they willing to sacrifice to win? as it pertains to your premise.

AyJay · Apr 13, 2009

I agree with Danthia (and his/her agent). All sorts of premises can work, or not work, depending on the writing. But if you want feedback on whether your outline thus far sounds interesting and original, I'd say yes. The "satire of religion" sounds more upper YA (or adult), but given my own cynical leanings, it's the type of book I'd be drawn to.

chevbrock · Apr 13, 2009

I think only you know the answer to the question, "Am I wasting 2-6 months of my life writing this?"

First and foremost, I believe a story should nag me to be told. Whether it is "publishable", "readable", or just plain "good enough", is secondary.

If you are in doubt, put it on the backburner for a while. It may come back to you one day with all the creases ironed out.

WKolodzieski · Apr 13, 2009

Thank you to all the responses, I greatly appreciate all the feedback. I think it has helped me get a better understanding of what I want to do, and it looks promising that this will probably be the next project I work on. And Danthia, I understand exactly what you're trying to say and appreciate the input.

alainn_chaser · Apr 13, 2009

*sigh* I feel the POV hopping pain. Only choose this method if you really want to do it because it is mean. It could work for the book and it is always good writing experience but prepare for it to kick your ass if you haven't done it before.

I like the idea. What really struck me was the idea that one character tries to escape from one extreme religous experience to another. I think this could be done well. That being said I feel like there is only one character in your story so far. It sounds like that character has an interesting story but she is the only one I see. Make sure you love your characters and they are there for a good reason.

Robin · Apr 13, 2009

I see what Tiger Lily is saying. You can have multiple points of view, but only ONE main character POV. The main character is the one that connects all the others' threads together.

Looking for a little advice...

WKolodzieski

shokadh

Now serving Table for 300

WKolodzieski

tiger-lily

New kid, be gentle!

WKolodzieski

wandergirl

~kirsten hubbard

suki

Opinionated

Danthia

AyJay

Luv's Conscript

chevbrock

WKolodzieski

alainn_chaser

Kweh?

Robin

What have I gotten myself into?