Why was Gimli so good at decapatating orcs?

dclary · Apr 7, 2009

Seriously. Shouldn't he have been disenlegging them?

Dale Emery · Apr 7, 2009

They bend down to look at the cute lil feller, and SCHWACKO!

dpaterso · Apr 8, 2009

How short do you think think Dwarves are?

Even if they're under 4.5' their long-handled broadaxes would give them a 9-foot-high cutting arc, at least.

Waddle to the back of the class and ponder this, Halfling.

-Derek

jst5150 · Apr 8, 2009

Legolas always brought along a box?

Dale Emery · Apr 8, 2009

Yes, Legolas was helpful in several ways. We know from the movie that he was into Dwarf bowling. He could easily fling Gimli up to the Orcs' necks.

Then there's always the popular two-phase decapitation technique: Legs first (to bring the neck into reach), then head.

mscelina · Apr 8, 2009

Right height. Right weapon. Right attitude.

Three rights do a decapitation make.

waylander · Apr 8, 2009

He'd had a lot of practice

Willowmound · Apr 8, 2009

Orcs aren't as tall as Peter Jackson would have you believe...

Dreir · Apr 8, 2009

Dale Emery said:
Then there's always the popular two-phase decapitation technique: Legs first (to bring the neck into reach), then head.

I imagine the surprise the orcs felt at finding themselves standing level with a dwarf precluded any hereditary instinct for self defence from kicking in (no pun intended).

- Dreir -

Ulee_Lhea · Apr 8, 2009

Orcs do have very poor posture . . . that'll teach 'um not to hunch.

Sirion · Apr 8, 2009

A very long axe.

DeleyanLee · Apr 8, 2009

I chalked it up to he was one of the good guys and everyone knows that bad guys are horrible at attacking or defending against good guys, especially in SF/F movies.

dclary · Apr 8, 2009

dpaterso said:
How short do you think think Dwarves are?

Even if they're under 4.5' their long-handled broadaxes would give them a 9-foot-high cutting arc, at least.

Waddle to the back of the class and ponder this, Halfling.

-Derek

Angle of the arc would be better for cleaving skulls, not hewing necks, though, no?

dclary · Apr 8, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
I chalked it up to he was one of the good guys and everyone knows that bad guys are horrible at attacking or defending against good guys, especially in SF/F movies.

I meant in the book.

And specifically, I meant this thread to be a direct counterpoint to the various "swords can't do this, this sword is better than that sword, blah blah blah" threads that keep popping up.

The simple fact of the matter is, if your character is awesome, and the situation is awesome, and the writing is awesome, who the hell cares about whether any of it's realistic? We'll all make up our own reasons in our heads why it still works for us.

Carry on.

DeleyanLee · Apr 8, 2009

Reminds me of the time I wanted to write a quarterstaff fight, so I went back to that most classic of quarterstaff fights--Howard Pyle's The Adventures of Robin Hood. Took me over 10 minutes to find it. It was ONE SENTENCE long, but with the build-up, that one sentence captured an entire imagination.

I've honestly never waded through past Fellowship, however you've got me wondering if Tolkien actually wrote the beheadings or just put the right words down so you could imagine that's what happened.

dclary · Apr 8, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
Reminds me of the time I wanted to write a quarterstaff fight, so I went back to that most classic of quarterstaff fights--Howard Pyle's The Adventures of Robin Hood. Took me over 10 minutes to find it. It was ONE SENTENCE long, but with the build-up, that one sentence captured an entire imagination.

I've honestly never waded through past Fellowship, however you've got me wondering if Tolkien actually wrote the beheadings or just put the right words down so you could imagine that's what happened.

Well, for instance, the death of Boromir is never depicted in book. We see only its aftermath, his confession to Aragorn, and Pippen's recollection to Denethor. And yet his valiant, desperate attempt to redeem himself for his failure with Frodo was a vital part of the film, I believe -- and in all honesty, I never had much connection or sympathy for the Boromir character before I saw Sean Bean's interpretation of the role.

So maybe it can go both ways. On paper, the battle doesn't necessarily have to be drawn out at all. We know how these things go. But on film, the choreography is the thing, and it all has to look amazing.

As far as Gimli goes? When they encounter the riders of Rohan, Gimli tells them he's more interested in hewing orc necks than scalping men's heads. And at Helm's Deep he complains that his axe was notched because of an orc wearing an iron collar.

Dale Emery · Apr 8, 2009

Is it clear which head Gimli is cutting off? Maybe it ain't the head that's further from the ground.

dclary · Apr 8, 2009

I'm going to have to rethink my entire concept of iron collars. :\

shokadh · Apr 8, 2009

mscelina said:
Right height. Right weapon. Right attitude.

Three rights do a decapitation make.

I shall remember thee unto the annals of fantasy, the wisdom of which shall be preserved for posterity.

Polenth · Apr 8, 2009

It's like the Star Wars film with the Yoda lightsaber fight. Gimli can jump really high and do double-backflips.

That's my theory anyway.

vrabinec · Apr 9, 2009

And why didn't his cousin Grumpy snuff the pasty bitch that broke into his crib, and stick her head on a spike?

Sarpedon · Apr 9, 2009

Maybe it was because he was feeling Sleepy?

dpaterso · Apr 9, 2009

dclary said:
Angle of the arc would be better for cleaving skulls, not hewing necks, though, no?

I dunno 'bout that, a left to right or right to left swing would do the job. Depends on size of the axe, of course.

-Derek

Straka · Apr 9, 2009

Personally I always thought the manuscript was tainted with dwarven propaganda. They want you to think they're taller than they actually are. Sad really, to distort a historical work like that for the shake of pride.

zornhau · Apr 12, 2009

dclary said:
Seriously. Shouldn't he have been disenlegging them?

He's obviously using his axe to throw a Zwerchhau, that is holding his weapon high to guard his head - something short-arses are good at - and executing a helicopter like action.

I really don't know if this would work with an axe.

Why was Gimli so good at decapatating orcs?

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