OPENING CREDITS

[Enigma]

I realize there's no way the writer can predict how long opening credits will run, therefore shouldn't mention them in a spec script, yet within those first few pages, like it or not, rests the ultimate fate of the script.

But, couldn't/can't the opening pages allow for that, if the opportunity to do so is there and especially if the running time could be used to visually establish the story-line, mood, tone, premise, main characters, etc?

If anyone is interested, I'll post an example.

[Joe Calabrese]

I've written a few specs with an opening credit sequence, but almost all without. The times I did were when it is not only unique, but critical to establish the story, characters, etc...

One example of when I did it and was well received (just sold it after-all) was for my Sci-Fi religious thriller spec "Second Coming."


One Ear slowly opens the ornate chest. Inside, swathed in black
felt, rests...

A CROWN OF THORNS.

After he does the sign of the cross, he rubs the side of his
head where his ear once was and quickly pulls out and
prepares a TEST TUBE and SWAB.

CLOSE ON: CROWN OF THORNS.

On a few broken thorns, specs of dried BLOOD lay.

CLOSER: ON ONE THORN, a dried rusty spec LIQUEFIES
to a red viscous liquid.

CLOSER STILL: OPENING TITLES OOZE in and out from the
bloody medium as a swirl of blood cells, molecules and DNA
strands float about among the letters.

This example, of a story with the subject of cloning (genetics) almost screamed out for this particular title sequence. Luckily, the Slamdance judges who awarded it and ultimately the producer who bought the script loved it too.

However, I strongly warn that 99.99% of all producers and/or industry pros who reads a spec (from a newbie) with a title sequence added, will be perceived as either an amateur or someone who could care less (ie. arrogant) what the production designer, post supervisor, art director, producer and/or director thinks. It usually is the kiss of death and will cause your script to not be read past the first few pages.

To error on the side of caution, my advice is that if you have such a great idea for an opening title sequence, keep it in the back of your mind (and not on the page) until you sell the script and have that 1st development meeting with the principals involved. Then and only then tell them your great idea and perhaps they will feel as strongly about it as you do.

[Enigma]

I've written a few specs with an opening credit sequence, but almost all without. The times I did were when it is not only unique, but critical to establish the story, characters, etc...

That's about the situation here. It establishes in part who and what the main character is, his "status," the female lead and her "status," plus it establishes the basic, underlying conflict that will have to be resolved (as soon as it's all out in the open). I don't think it is either unique or critical, but it sure does save a lot of explaining later on.

What I was concerned with was that it was obviously a place to roll the credits, perhaps too obvious. It is, however, all action and nothing particurarly artsy-craftsy, nothing whatsoever that says, or implies, "... Put the credits here, dummy!" If "they" wanted to, they could display the credits in whatever way, style, form, etc. they want and start the story on page one.

Let's see if I can do this (excuse the formatting). It's just in first draft form anyway. By page ten all the main characters are on board:

FADE IN


INT. EXECUTIVE OFFICE -- AFTERNOON



Someone (unseen) is milling about in the large and quiet, dimly lit office. They can be heard TEARING something open (a FedEx or UPS package), followed by liquid being POURED.



Although angry black clouds signal a rapidly approaching spring storm, the view out the window is nevertheless impressive. The office is in an upscale, beautifully landscaped Florida complex set well back from a busy four-lane.



There's a somehow familiar mechanical SOUND (a CD being put in a changer), then silence.



Suddenly, loud - very loud - MUSIC shatters the air.



The dark gray clouds begin to cry. Cars out on the highway turn on their lights. A light comes on inside the office.



A few bars into the SONG, and it's inexplicitly cut off. That's followed by another familiar sound (a CD being ejected) and a CRASHING noise (it being tossed in the trash can).



On display by a window and mounted on a tripod is a well used Nikon F-3 attached to a 300mm, f-2.8 lens. Not too long ago it was top-of-the-line professional equipment.



Outside, trees begin to bend and leaves are pushed along by the strengthening wind. There's an occasional flash of lightning and the guttural, rumbling sound of THUNDER.



Another music TRACK comes on and it too is LOUD.



Celebrity photographs and framed gold and platinum records cover an entire wall. A dozen or so trophies (music awards) sit on a credenza.



Whoever the office belongs to is evidently in the music business, and is very successful at it.



Promotional photographs, CDs and a few yet unopened UPS and FedEx envelopes are neatly arranged on the glass top desk.



The MUSIC abruptly stops again.



PAUL MORTON, 45, is staring out the window, holding a clicker and a glass of wine. He looks the sophisticated but deadly serious and hard working executive type. He presses the clicker and a third TRACK begins its assault.



He tastes the wine as he listens to the MUSIC and studies an 8 X 10 photograph.



He doesn't like what he's hearing. He HUFFS, ejects the CD and summarily trashes it and the group's photo, adding to ones he may have already considered, and rejected.



He goes back to the window, this time just to watch the storm's arrival, and enjoy his wine, in peace.



CONTINUING POV



In the far distance a city bus stops and discharges two hesitant passengers - a mother and her young child. The woman opens an umbrella as the bus pulls out into traffic.



Paul notices them, but he's more interested in the approaching storm that...



... hits full force, with strong, gusting winds and PELTING rain that comes down almost horizontally.



Like a magnet, Paul's gaze becomes repeatedly drawn back to the woman and kid. They're on the sidewalk, walking as fast as they can, trying desperately to reach shelter.



Paul looks up toward the heavens, then back at the pair - and shows no sympathy to their plight.



The umbrella isn't doing the woman and child much good; they're getting soaked.



A few cars pass, and the drivers look, but don't stop.



The sound of the driving RAIN continues to build as Paul watches them struggle.



The child is crying. She tries to pick him up but in the process looses the umbrella to the wind.



They get closer and Paul suddenly becomes aware of something about the woman that might not be good.



The sound of the wind and rain becomes a surrealistic, almost throbbing ROAR, at least in Paul's unraveling mind.



He goes over to the tripod mounted camera.

[IWrite]

Hey Enigma.

Regardless of whether or not the credits were to roll over this particular sequence - I gotta say that the first two minutes of your film has got a whole lot of nothing going on.

You're always kind of wary when you open a script and see that there's only description on the first page. When you glance at page two and see that there's only description there as well - it's not a good thing - unless the sequence is describing some major type of action sequence that has a lot going on or some other type of scenario that requires some sort of detail (provided the scene is set-up in a riveting way).

Your set-up does not require that type of set-up. The writing is okay - but you are taking 2 pages to establish what could be established in half a page or so. You are starting out at a molasses-like pace.

[Joe Calabrese]

I don't see any particular need to place titles thoughout this scene.
I would however, pay carefull attention to not write things that are not seen or heard.

[Enigma]

I appreciate the comments, guys. There's a fall-back opening, which I'll probably go to now. It's more exciting, less dramatic. The one posted leads to a flash-back and, god, I hate those (short attention span, and memory). Instead, I'll probably make it run straight through, from the beginning to this scene, then resolve the various issues.

Again, thanks.

[Chesher Cat]

Nothing in your opening screams for credits and it is not your job to worry about where they go unless the story depends on it.

You should be more worried about your writing. This opening is way too long and repetitive and tells me almost nothing. Get to the story as fast as you can. There is no reason to hold back who is in the office. Why not just establish the scene with a quick exterior of where we are and the foreboding storm, then go inside mention the pics and awards – you don’t have to explain that the office must belong to some successful music person because showing us the stuff lets us know. Then immediately introduce him, and tell us what he’s doing in one sentence. We don’t need to hear every insertion and ejection of the CDs. Then get to the woman – and if she’s a main character introduce her by name – and the kid as soon as possible. I think you are trying to get a feeling of suspense here but it’s not working because of all the unnecessary business in front of it.

Also, don’t write stuff like “He doesn't like what he's hearing.”… show it…but never with something such as, “He HUFFS”. What does that mean?? Is he getting high on nail polish remover?

Hopefully, your fall-back opening will be more exciting and dramatic, cause I'm sorry to say, this one was neither. Make it short and to the point - describe in the fewest well-chosen words what you are seeing on the screen when you close your eyes.

[Boo_Radley]

I never indicate where opening credits should begin or end. That's up to the director/producer/other-guy-higher-up-the-food-chain-than-me to decide. But there are ways to open your script which would subtley indicate that "this" is where the opening credits should roll.

For instance, if you're feeling froggy and really, really want to have your opening credits run during an opening sequence, have a 1-3 three page opening scene which ends with a huge punchline, bit of action or dramatic note. Think the Pumpkin/Honey Bunny opener of Pulp Fiction, or Freddy Krueger assembling his razor-glove in the opening of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
:)