Sex

I've no clue. I'm not into chick lit but I'm sure someone will be able to give you some advice.

overtired said:

I'm writing my first chick lit novel at the moment, my previous was children's fantasy.

How important do you think sex is to the genre?

So far (I'm only about 17,000 words in), I have avoided writing sex scenes for one simple reason: I don't want my mother to read it.

I know that's probably a hopelessly lame reason, but while sex is obviously implied, I don't think actual sex scenes have any bearing on the story whatsoever.

How do think this would influence the chances of getting it published? Do you think sex is important in chick lit?

I'm sure I've read chick lit without gratuitous sex scenes, but I'm interested in getting opinions.

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I'd put the sex right in there. If it gets riotous enough I may convert some of my eagerly anticipated precious reading time on great Seiges to ranging through many modes of Chicklit textualities while absorbing some sexual buzz.

overtired said:

So far (I'm only about 17,000 words in), I have avoided writing sex scenes for one simple reason: I don't want my mother to read it.

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Your existance is proof your mother knows about sex, and has even had some. <VBG>

Seriously, you can't let that stop you. If the particular story you're writing calls for sex, then put it in. If the story will not benefit from sex, don't put it in. If you're writing inspirational chick lit (and I'm sure such a thing exists -- help us out, here, Inspie writers!) then don't put it in.

BOTH of my parents read my books. I think I was most uptight about the woman who taught me Sunday School, and also worked in my elementary school office, reading one of my books. I felt the need to warn her, "Now, you know, there IS sex in this book."

She laughed and assured me she knew all about sex, and it would be just fine. LOL.

Now as I don't actually read chick lit, I can't say if your odds of publication decrease without any on-screen sex or not. However I will tell you that when you query this, do NOT call it chick lit. Because according to "everybody" "chick lit is dead." Which just means you need to call it something else. <G>

Let the story be your guide.

Susan G.

You don't really need sex scenes per se, since some works are more about building a career and the bond between friends than romance, but you will need something compelling and different in the plot because chick lit is a "so yesterday" genre. It IS dead. Definitely, don't call it "chick lit" in your query.

If you were writing a straight-up romance, not of the sweet/inspirational sort, then you wouldn't be able to gloss over the sex scenes because readers expect them. Those readers are promised bodice-rippers.

In chick lit, you have some leeway. You can add some flirty heat and foreplay without necessarily zooming in microscopically on the act. You can also write sex scenes very sparsely and focus on emotion rather than activity or parts. If you want to allude, that's fine, but you should at least show some physical chemistry between love interests. Even Twilight has that and there's no sex. Show what is important to show, nothing more, nothing less.

On the flip side, you shouldn't use sex scenes just to tantalize and shock. Everything should be pertinent to relaying a story properly and should be appropriate for its genre.

Regarding sexual references however, characters in chick lit tend to speak frankly about sex and intimacy, like locker room chat with apple martinis in hand. That might make your mom blush too. Don't let timidity keep you from writing well. A story should be told the way it demands to be told.

I've read chick lit with sex scenes and chick lit without sex scenes, and I've enjoyed it both ways. It really depends on the story.

As Susan said, let the story be your guide. If the sex is important to your story, then it needs to be included; if not, then don't include it.

Nice attention grabbing title, overtired!

I just posted on another thread about sex scenes that I have the exact same concern as you. My parents are religious, and they're not like overly judgmental, but the thought of my mother or worse, my father, reading an explicit sex scene I have written? Yikes.

That said, I am in the camp that says less is more. If I wanted a blow by blow physical description of sex, I would look in a sex ed book. I don't want to hear about the mechanics. I don't need to see the author demonstrate their many various ways to describe an erection.

What I DO want to see in a story that has romance of a sexual nature is a scene that advances the plot, the character development, the relationship, etc. In other ways, I want to see sex written in a way that it shows me something about the characters, or their relationship, etc. Just like anything else, if it's there, I want it to be there for a reason.

My story started out as a sci-fi/urban fantasy type with a romance and I realized along the way that the meat of the story IS the romance. In realizing this, I realized there were a few things I needed to do better on the relationship front. I realized especially that the moment where my two MCs sleep together is a pivotal moment for them and their relationship and I didn't do it justice.

In previous drafts, I basically copped out and avoided it because I wasn't comfortable with writing steamier sex scenes due to my own preferences. I basically skipped from them kissing heavily to them waking up in bed together. When one of my readers (who is married with children, and therefore has had sex. lol) told me that at first she thought they just fell asleep... THAT was a problem.

So, I went back and reworked it and I still fade away before getting to the actual act but it's pretty steamy beforehand and the reader has no question about what's going to happen next. And I LOVE the scene. I can't imagine how the story stood without it because it just adds a depth that I didn't even know was missing to the characters and their relationship. I stepped a little outside my comfort zone initially to write it, and I am so glad I did.

Basically, you shouldn't worry about what your mother or anyone else you know might think of you. Instead you should think about the best way to tell your story and do justice to the characters, plot, etc.

If you would like, I could PM you the before and after on my sex scene so you can get an idea of how I changed things with the edits. Just PM me and let me know

:editor's hat on:

I think you need to read what's current on the chick lit shelves and lots of it to determine for yourself how necessary it is.

Keep in mind most of those titles were bought 18-24 months ago and there has been a drop in acquisitions of new chick lit titles.

That noted -- if you are shy about writing a sex scene, then don't.

Chucking one in just because you think you should is going to show in the writing.

One of my pals did this with a romance some years back, and her discomfort on the page was all too obvious. The scene read self-consciously and stilted, adding nothing to the story but poorly constructed prose that was little more than a tab-a, slot-b snore fest. No passion, no zest, just me wincing and trying to think up something kind to say to her face. (I'm a terrible liar.)

I think many writers worry "what if Mom sees this?" They either allow for it or decide to go ahead anyway because the story needed it. They're not afraid to let their feelings show on a page, whether it's a fight scene or a love scene. (Exploring negative emotions is just as difficult!)

I'm one of the latter. As with any act of intimacy that I participated in, thinking of my mom was an instant mood killer--so I didn't think about her while writing!

And anyway, I doubt she ever read a single one of my books.

One of my friends writes smoakin' hawt lurv scenes, but that's not what upsets her Bible Belt mom--it's all those four letter words! One of her church pals "helpfully" goes through each book to count how many times the "f", "d", "b", and "h" words are used.

Which amuses my writer friend a great deal.

She's taken to counting them herself so she can correct the lady if she gets it wrong.

You say sex is "implied". This suggests your characters do have sex but you don't show it? You don't need a full blow by blow but in this genre if main characters have sex I think it should be at least briefly described?

It depends entirely on the rest of the story, I think. If the story demands it, then you might as well go with the flow, if not, it's actually probably better if you don't shove a scene in. As for whether or not there's an actual scene...most of the stuff that I've read are just a "fade to black," which works well too, if you're not comfortable writing it.

LOL You're so cute! I'm sure your mom will be fine. I used to be afraid to say four-letter words in from of my mom, but once I got over my own discomfort I found her to be just like every other woman out there. Matter-of-fact, just today we were joking about fantasy romances... specifically mermaid romances. We came up with some of our own sex scene lines, like: He flopped on top of her like a fish out of water, ( and some others that I will refrain from mentioning on this board).

Don't worry about your mom. If your book needs it, Go For It!

You know I did not even have to read the thread to post on this topic. This topic will lure lurkers out to post just because it says sex. LOL

About your mother reading it...

I used to have the same concern, particularly when my sex scenes started getting more graphic. My folks are fairly conservative, as is the rest of my family, so I cringed at the thought of her reading it.

Then one day, I was reading a battle scene I had written in my fantasy novel. Gory, graphic, violent, the works. And it dawned on me: I don't care if my mom reads THIS, why should I care if she reads my sex scenes? I'm not writing about ME, or what*I* do, and if the story requires it...then who am I to rein it in just to appease someone else?

This was tremendously liberating. Seriously.

Skip ahead to now: I have one book sold, one on an editor's desk, and several others in various states of completion...and they have a LOT of sex in them. My parents know this. I look them - and anyone else - right in the eye and tell them I write explicit romance, erotica, etc. Because really - with all of the other unsavory things a character could do, why should I be embarrassed when one (well, 2...sometimes 3...) gets his/her freak on?

Just my experience. Your mileage may vary...but seriously, write with your CHARACTERS in mind first, your READERS in mind second, and your MOTHER's disapproval...not at all.

This thread makes me glad I don't give a shit what my psycho-bitch of a mother thinks of me.

I'm close to my mother and I know she isn't a prude but it was funny when I passed on a Harlequin Blaze to here. I hadn't even read it myself so when I asked her how it was her reply was " It was something different that's for sure."

overtired said:

Thanks all for your help, I think I've sussed it now.

I really only need 3 sex scnes, I think, one per man.

The first one MC is pretty much blind drunk, so I can get away with being a bit vague there.
The second one with the dream guy I think I need to push myself out of my comfort zone (thanks dreamsofnever).
The third might end up a bit comic relief, but we all know sex can be pretty funny (I think an injury may end up in there)

Thanks again everyone

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You're welcome! Glad I could help

And ooh la la! Three men in one book? Go MC!

three sex scenes, one per man? I almost snorted out my beer when I read that. I want to read the book on that premise alone, hahaha.