Changing tense for a dream/nightmare sequence

I think it would work if you wanted to immediately clue the reader in that something strange was going on. (like switching from real life to a dream.)

I've never tried the changing tenses thing, but I've done it with changing POV's. 3rd limited to 3rd omnicient because the dreamer was aware of everyone's thoughts in her dream. If you do it right, it could be interesting.

In that case, it sounds like it would work to me.

I'm pretty sure Stephen King used this technique in one of the Dark Tower books. It seemed to work well for him. So, no, I didn't find it jarring. I've thought of using the technique myself but haven't yet.

btw, I noticed the Dark Tower is in your favorites. One of my favorites too.

dgrintalis said:

Is it jarring to you if a dream/nightmare sequence is told in third person, present tense when the rest of the novel is in third person, past tense?

My MC has a horrific nightmare that is very integral to the story and it wrote itself in third person, present tense. It is the only bit in my novel written in that manner and I think it would lose its impact if I change the tense.

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I would find it jarring, but that's just because I'm a purist who for the most part doesn't believe in changing tenses for whatever reason. Even when I use flashbacks--i. e., things that happened in the past, but seem like the present for the character experiencing them--and yes, for dreams/nightmares, too--I put it in past tense like the rest of my story, because the ENTIRE STORY took place in the past and I'm writing it that way. Present tense doesn't make something more immediate, or give it more of an impact, for me.

BUT...

That's just me. And I'm not writing your story.

If your story is written well enough overall, the tense change would jar me, but probably not badly enough to make me stop reading. I'm amenable that way. If something I don't normally go for happens to work, then I can live with it.

If the technique is what you feel works best for your story and your style, then use it.

I don't think it would work.

Or rather, I think the dream sequence could work BETTER if you put it in first person and keep it consistent.

Taking from what you wrote above:

Lily knows she is dreaming.

She is standing in a long hallway, crumbling concrete walls riddled with a sickly green moss. Plink. Plink. The sound of water dripping. There is a tiny river of stagnant water in the middle of the hallway floor. It smells of rotting sticks and worse, rotting hope. Impossible. Hope has no smell.

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and switching it to first person:

I know that I am dreaming..

I am standing in a long hallway, crumbling concrete walls riddled with a sickly green moss. Plink. Plink. The sound of water dripping. There is a tiny river of stagnant water in the middle of the hallway floor. It smells of rotting sticks and worse, rotting hope. Impossible. Hope has no smell.

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First person just sounds better for that snippet to me.

I think it could work, though I agree with James that maybe keeping it in first person would be best. I don't have a problem with it being in present tense (while the rest of the story is in past tense) but the third person would throw me for a loop. I don't think of myself in the third person while dreaming... but it does often seem present tense. I think I would actually like the shift to present tense-- and the announcement that it's a dream-- I hate those 'psycho out' scenes where it's not clear it's a dream until, haha! the character wakes up.

You won't get a definitive answer to this so the final decision is yours. I'll say I don't have a problem with tense switching for this sort of reason. It can work very well.

My first reaction is that yes, it would be jarring. It might throw me off if this one section--and only this one--is in a different mode. It might come off as a "look at me!" moment (as in, "look, it's a dream, isn't it great?")

That being said, if that's how it works best, then that's how it works best. Keep it if you really like it and you get good response to it.

Have you tried doing it in past-tense like the rest of the story? Maybe it will work after all.