If I overemphasized how beautiful a character is...

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2009

I might have just discovered why the girls love Edward Cullen(Twilight). Some girls, like myself, like bad boys who are filled with angst. But, I also thought the author over emphasized how godly beautiful the vampire was.

She kept describing how he sparkled, how stone cold he felt, and how Bella fell head over heels for him. It kept going for about a dozen pages. I thought that could be a factor of how the readers could fall in love with Edward.

I'm writing a romance scene about a characters past and I want the readers to fall in love with him as well. He does have a laid-back personality and some more I can't name.

What would happen if I tried the same thing the author did?

scarletpeaches · Mar 5, 2009

I would kill you.

Kathleen42 · Mar 5, 2009

I guess it depends who your target market is and whether or not they are likely to be annoyed by it.

For some reason, readers are willing to tolerate or ignore things Meyers does which they might not put up with from another author/book (for example, Bella's character had me cringing but I kept reading).

Just remember, every time you make someone sparkle, you have to fend off a death threat from Scarlet.

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2009

Kathleen42 said:
Just remember, every time you make someone sparkle, you have to fend off a death threat from Scarlet.

Eww. Very true.

dgrintalis · Mar 5, 2009

Kathleen42 said:
Just remember, every time you make someone sparkle, you have to fend off a death threat from Scarlet.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

The Lonely One · Mar 5, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
I would kill you.

I almost shot beer out of my nose just now. You should warn me when you're going to employ regional humor.

scarletpeaches · Mar 5, 2009

Kathleen42 said:
I guess it depends who your target market is and whether or not they are likely to be annoyed by it.

For some reason, readers are willing to tolerate or ignore things Meyers does which they might not put up with from another author/book (for example, Bella's character had me cringing but I kept reading).

Just remember, every time you make someone sparkle, you have to fend off a death threat from Scarlet.

I love you and your beautiful avatar.

BlueLucario said:
Eww. Very true.

I don't mean it.

Or do I?

BWAHAHAHAHA!

dgrintalis said:
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

Why thank you! (Because I inspired it).

*curtseys*

The Lonely One said:
I almost shot beer out of my nose just now. You should warn me when you're going to employ regional humor.

It's my default setting. Consider yourself warned.

thethinker42 · Mar 5, 2009

The Lonely One said:
I almost shot beer out of my nose just now. You should warn me when you're going to employ regional humor.

If you see a post from scarletpeaches, you'd be wise to swallow whatever's in your mouth before you read it.

When I chat with her via IM, I have to drink my Dr Pepper by way of IV to keep it all from ending up in my sinuses.

The Lonely One · Mar 5, 2009

I hate narrators that try to convince me of things.

"No, but really, he's hot! Please, why won't anyone believe me?" aka the book you've referenced but which I won't in fear of sparking another discussion on said book.

Just give me his actions, if it's romance I guess give me some intimate details of his looks, but for Christ sakes shut up about him--I get it.

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2009

thethinker42 said:
If you see a post from scarletpeaches, you'd be wise to swallow whatever's in your mouth before you read it.

When I chat with her via IM, I have to drink my Dr Pepper by way of IV to keep it all from ending up in my sinuses.

So you'd guys be annoyed if I tried it too?

scarletpeaches · Mar 5, 2009

Yes.

We would be very annoyed.

Then we would come round your house, cut you with razors and put bees in the cuts then sew you up.

Prozyan · Mar 5, 2009

Why on earth would you want to copy Meyer, of all people?

Develop your own voice and style.

scarletpeaches · Mar 5, 2009

Ahem.

The fact is, telling the reader over and over again that a character is X, Y or Z is just that - telling.

Don't tell me someone is beautiful. Show me the other characters' reactions to them.

And as Prozyan said, for the love of God, don't copy smeyer.

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2009

Prozyan said:
Why on earth would you want to copy Meyer, of all people?

Develop your own voice and style.

I was just trying to analyze what worked in her book. What made readers fall in love with this particular character. I might have found out at least 2 factors from that book that contributed to this.

deserata · Mar 5, 2009

I personally hate over-emphasizing a character's beauty because it's as if the author is in love with the character herself, and makes the narrative hover about him and record every idealistic detail. There is this preciousness that is really unhelpful to the story.

Your readers can fall in love with your character without him being unbelievably handsome. There are endearing qualities other than looks...

dancingandflying · Mar 5, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
Yes.

We would be very annoyed.

Then we would come round your house, cut you with razors and put bees in the cuts then sew you up.

Quoted for the truth.

d&f.

Kathleen42 · Mar 5, 2009

BlueLucario said:
I was just trying to analyze what worked in her book. What made readers fall in love with this particular character. I might have found out at least 2 factors from that book that contributed to this.

It's possible. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out why I found the books so addictive.

You're probably get away with excessive descriptions more in YA or romance than you would in other genres.

I must admit, now you've got me a bit worried. There are very little physical descriptions in my own WiP.

Prozyan · Mar 5, 2009

Story. Simple as that.

It is very important to keep in mind when attempting to analyze Meyer (or Paolini and Rowling for that matter) the work succeeds IN SPITE of the faults in writing.

Not BECAUSE of the faults in writing.

There are lessons to be learned from every writer. How best to make words collide in a sentence isn't a lesson you want from Meyer.

Perle_Rare · Mar 5, 2009

BlueLucario said:
I'm writing a romance scene about a character's past and I want the readers to fall in love with him as well. He does have a laid-back personality and some more I can't name.

Very honestly, I would recommend you read widely and learn from many authors rather than singling one out.

If your goal is to write a romance where your reader falls in love with your MC, then read as many romances as you can get your hands on. Harlequins are great for this because their only reason for existence imho is to make readers fall head over heels in love with the MC for the two hours it takes to reach the end of the book. Once you've read a few, figure out what worked and what didn't and try to do as well or better in your own manuscript.

Best part about this? You get to knock off a handful of Harlequins in a few days and actually call it "research"!

Gillhoughly · Mar 5, 2009

Yikes, toss all your Meyer books. She's popular, but that doesn't make her a good writer you can learn from.

Get the Morganville books by Rachel Caine instead.

They're YA, vampires, and she's twenty times better a writer than Meyer.

Not a sparkle in sight.

Fulk · Mar 5, 2009

BlueLucario said:
I was just trying to analyze what worked in her book. What made readers fall in love with this particular character. I might have found out at least 2 factors from that book that contributed to this.

I think if you ask most folks around here (and I'm certain I've seen them say so), the most likely contribution to her success was that she hit a market at just the right time, and despite all of its glaring faults, she had been made successful. But among those who weren't dazzled by Edward's sparkly, adonic figure, she has been deeply scorned, and it's unlikely that these people will ever read another thing she writes. (I could be mistaken.) I don't think it has anything to do with her technique, or the way she bashes you over the head again and again about how pretty Edward is.

In my own personal case, attempting to force me into liking a character in the way Meyer does would turn me off. Especially if I see inklings of behavior to the contrary--it suggests to me that, for example, it's okay someone sits outside my window and watches me sleep, because they're pretty and it must be romantic.

Let their behavior and personality do the work for you. If I can sympathize with the character, I will, through no forced narration, but my own will. I can even like a down-right bastard of a character, so long as they are done well.

Edit: I have to add that, for the record, I am a guy and I doubt I'm supposed to fall in love with Edward. That being said, I have zero idea what makes him appealing.

wandergirl · Mar 5, 2009

Yeah honestly, the overtelling regarding Edward's marble brow and sparklyness and dazzling nature etc etc is one of the main things Meyer's books are CRITICIZED for. Hardly something you want to imitate.

Like others said above, show, not tell. For example, I thought the hottest scene in Twilight was the first time Edward and Bella sat together in science, when he had to grip the table to keep from killing her. A definite instance of Show.

NeuroFizz · Mar 5, 2009

Hey, y'all. I have a really strange suggestion--another of those strange challenges that seem to come out of me. Make your characters hot and beautiful without saying a word, or hinting, about their appreances. Make them hot and beautiful because of their actions. Make them hot and beautiful because of their intellects. Make them hot and beautiful because of their senses of humor. Just see how many ways you can make them hot and beautiful in ways other than physical characteristics. And without giving the dudes eyeliner, Scarlet. It's not an easy challenge, but think of the people you know really well, and who you find attractive. Besides looks what makes them attractive to you? If it's the way he/she constantly wears a rubber band around his/her wrist and won't tell anyone why--not ever, even his/her best friends or lover--play with that. Dig deep, way more than skin deep.

Cyia · Mar 5, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
I would kill you.

And I would be her allibi.

Kaylee · Mar 5, 2009

Edward was a vampire. Is your character one? Edward wasn't the only one who was beautiful. All of them were, even Bella at the end of the book.

If I overemphasized how beautiful a character is...

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