We've all heard it. We've all hated it.
The word...REMAKE!
Yes, remakes suck...whether its The Day the Earth Stood Still or Dawn of the Dead, they normally butcher the original plot, ruin the original message, and generally just f**k it up.
BUT!
There are a few remakes that actually DO do a good job!
For example: The Thing by John Carpenter is considered to be one of the best horror movies of all time, and yet it was a remake of that snoozerific Thing From Outer Space movie...
Bletch.
And in the video game world, Sid Mier's (famous video game maker) took his OLD game, Sid Mier's Pirates and then remade it into Sid Mier's Pirates! The result? one of the most addictive fun things you can do with one hand, narrowly beaten out by the only thing men do alone.
Yes, I'm going to do a write up on SMP some other day.
Now!
There ARE great remakes out there which mean SOME movies NEED remakes!
So this thread is devoted to the Remakables, films that had awesome ideas but, through various reasons, ended up sucking...and would do awesome if remade today.
I'll start us off!
Nightbreed.
Nightbreed, based off the only Clive Barker story I could read without clawing my own eyes out, was the AWESOMELY creative film about some poor bastard named Boon who was slightly bonkers.
Good thing he got one of the best psychiatrists out there! Dr. Decker. I mean what a nice, kind guy Decker is. I mean, I can't possibly see him, say, putting on a mask and-
OH SNAP!!
So, Decker pins his murdering on Boon, who runs away and finds out about this semi-mythical city of monsters called Midian. He gets to the front gates and finds out its a cemetery.
Filled with monsters.
Boon gets bitten by one of the monsters and runs outside...and gets a face full of police bullets. Boon dies and his girlfriend, Lorri, is sad. But then Boon comes back to life and finds out that Midian's monsters are slightly friendlier than he expected...especially cause he's one of them now.
Anywho, the film was hamstrung by a crippling budget, which meant that it was criminally short. Secondly, it was directed by Clive Barker himself...who was only moderately successful. Thirdly, some of the monsters worked GREAT with full body make up, like the awesome Shuna Sassii
Others were less good.
And Shuna Sassi was only on screen for like, 20 seconds!
BOO! Clive Barker! BOO!
Also, the ending was overdone and hammy, the acting hilariously over the top, the sexual elements from the story were completely chopped out (even though the gore was left in...what the heck!?) and the characterization of Lorri changed almost completely. And as a final straw, the studio completely missed the boat. They failed to "get" that this was a monster film where the monsters were the HEROES and so they played up the whole serial killer angle in the trailers, misleading an audience and cutting out most of the actual fans who would have watched the dang thing!
So, imagine this film in the hands of a capable director, with more money, and a studio that realizes that, YES, monsters CAN be the heroes in a film (especially after films like Shrek, Hellboy, Hellboy again...) and we've got a classic on our hands.
I think the director should definitely be Guellmo Del Torro (SP?). I mean, Hellboy 2's Troll Market was essentially a more colorful, less macabre version of Midian.
And there was no Shuna Sassii (who, me, obsessive? Crazy talk).
SO!
Share your classic but hamstrung films that should be remade so that their flower of genius can blossom like a pretty rose or something.
The word...REMAKE!
Yes, remakes suck...whether its The Day the Earth Stood Still or Dawn of the Dead, they normally butcher the original plot, ruin the original message, and generally just f**k it up.
BUT!
There are a few remakes that actually DO do a good job!
For example: The Thing by John Carpenter is considered to be one of the best horror movies of all time, and yet it was a remake of that snoozerific Thing From Outer Space movie...
Bletch.
And in the video game world, Sid Mier's (famous video game maker) took his OLD game, Sid Mier's Pirates and then remade it into Sid Mier's Pirates! The result? one of the most addictive fun things you can do with one hand, narrowly beaten out by the only thing men do alone.
Yes, I'm going to do a write up on SMP some other day.
Now!
There ARE great remakes out there which mean SOME movies NEED remakes!
So this thread is devoted to the Remakables, films that had awesome ideas but, through various reasons, ended up sucking...and would do awesome if remade today.
I'll start us off!
Nightbreed.
Nightbreed, based off the only Clive Barker story I could read without clawing my own eyes out, was the AWESOMELY creative film about some poor bastard named Boon who was slightly bonkers.
Good thing he got one of the best psychiatrists out there! Dr. Decker. I mean what a nice, kind guy Decker is. I mean, I can't possibly see him, say, putting on a mask and-
OH SNAP!!
So, Decker pins his murdering on Boon, who runs away and finds out about this semi-mythical city of monsters called Midian. He gets to the front gates and finds out its a cemetery.
Filled with monsters.
Boon gets bitten by one of the monsters and runs outside...and gets a face full of police bullets. Boon dies and his girlfriend, Lorri, is sad. But then Boon comes back to life and finds out that Midian's monsters are slightly friendlier than he expected...especially cause he's one of them now.
Anywho, the film was hamstrung by a crippling budget, which meant that it was criminally short. Secondly, it was directed by Clive Barker himself...who was only moderately successful. Thirdly, some of the monsters worked GREAT with full body make up, like the awesome Shuna Sassii
Others were less good.
And Shuna Sassi was only on screen for like, 20 seconds!
BOO! Clive Barker! BOO!
Also, the ending was overdone and hammy, the acting hilariously over the top, the sexual elements from the story were completely chopped out (even though the gore was left in...what the heck!?) and the characterization of Lorri changed almost completely. And as a final straw, the studio completely missed the boat. They failed to "get" that this was a monster film where the monsters were the HEROES and so they played up the whole serial killer angle in the trailers, misleading an audience and cutting out most of the actual fans who would have watched the dang thing!
So, imagine this film in the hands of a capable director, with more money, and a studio that realizes that, YES, monsters CAN be the heroes in a film (especially after films like Shrek, Hellboy, Hellboy again...) and we've got a classic on our hands.
I think the director should definitely be Guellmo Del Torro (SP?). I mean, Hellboy 2's Troll Market was essentially a more colorful, less macabre version of Midian.
And there was no Shuna Sassii (who, me, obsessive? Crazy talk).
SO!
Share your classic but hamstrung films that should be remade so that their flower of genius can blossom like a pretty rose or something.
(And you're right, both Things are classics in their own ways).
