PDA

View Full Version : Need beta readers for a mystery


Jake Barnes
02-24-2009, 02:31 AM
I need beta readers for a mystery "A Deadly Time." The first three chapters are posted on Share Your Work under mystery/suspense/thriller. I think they're still on the first page. Please let me know if you're interested. Thanks.

Samantha's_Song
02-24-2009, 03:32 AM
What is the gist of your story? I might be interested in beta-reading it for you, but will only work with the whole ms, no bits and pieces. I'm also quite blunt with my comments and notes, just so that you know.

Jake Barnes
02-24-2009, 06:55 PM
Thanks for the interest, Samantha. This is the query letter:

In A DEADLY TIME, a mystery complete at 75,000 words, Joe Conner is a middle-aged lawyer with a struggling practice and a marriage on the rocks. Just when he thinks his life can’t get any more dismal, his former client Tyrell Sikes appears in his office. Twenty years earlier, Joe unsuccessfully defended Sikes on rape and murder charges. Sikes spent nineteen years on Death Row before being freed because his DNA didn’t match. Now he holds Joe responsible for his wrongful conviction, accusing him of deliberately undermining the defense to gain favor with the judge. Sikes wants revenge, not only against Joe, but against everyone he thinks wronged him. And he has the means to get it, thanks to a seven-figure settlement with the county for wrongful prosecution. He buys up the note on Joe’s office building and, because Joe is two months in arrears, initiates foreclosure proceedings.

Then strange things start happening. Joe’s car is vandalized and his dog is poisoned. Joe suspects that Sikes is at work and tells Sikes he’ll kill him if he doesn’t stay away from his family.

So, when Sikes’s body is found floating in the bayou with two bullet holes in the back of his head, Joe’s the natural suspect and all the evidence points in his direction. Joe realizes he’s being set up just as Tyrell Sikes was and only by solving a twenty-year-old murder mystery will he be able to avoid Death Row.

GirlWithPoisonPen
02-24-2009, 07:07 PM
Jake, I saw your post on the other thread. Thanks for asking, but I'm little stacked up at the moment. I'm reading one now, another will on its way shortly, plus I'm trying to finish my own book.

I just noticed that you said Joe's dog is poisoned. Many readers will throw down a book if a pet is killed, especially if you've shown Joe interacting with and showing love for the dog. You might have to ditch that--or not mention it in your query.

Samantha's_Song
02-24-2009, 09:02 PM
Ah, yes, I remember reading your query letter. I'm not doing anything at the moment, as I've only just finished doing a horror for another member, finished it yesterday. So send your ms along if you would like to :)

Samanthas.Song@googlemail.com

Jake Barnes
02-24-2009, 09:06 PM
Thanks, Samantha. I really appreciate it. I'm finishing the final polish. It's coming you way in three or four days. Thanks again.

Samantha's_Song
02-24-2009, 09:41 PM
You're most welcome Jake.

Thanks, Samantha. I really appreciate it. I'm finishing the final polish. It's coming you way in three or four days. Thanks again.