THE OFFICIAL "I NEED A HUMOR CRIT" THREAD (Got Humor in SYW? Tell us here!)

[batyler65]

If you've come here because you've posted something in Share Your Work in response to one of the humor prompts and need feedback, you've come to the right place.

Or if you have posted ANY humorous work in Share Your Work and need a crit, you can ask for it here.

Post your requests for critiques below.

Barb


P.S. For those folks kind enough to offer critiques, please post them in SYW instead of here. It will make it easier on everyone. Thanks!

[Kida Adelyne]

Hullo- I posted a short. Really appreciate feedback. I'm really proud of this piece, so I need someone to ruin my pride:tongue

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=213194#post213194

[allenparker]

If you have a minute and want a laugh, you might surf over to Share Your Work for a Prompt response by me.

No need to crit it. I did it for fun.

Thanks Allen

[allenparker]

In Share Your Work. For fun again. nothing special.

Allen

[ritinrider]

at Barb's suggestion (?) I'm posting this information.


Posted a contribution to her prompts in syw. It was a "How Not To.."

Nita

[Entelechy]

Crit me!!!!

:Lecture:

And many thanks for your honesty.

Judy

[Englishmaninhouston]

On the main humor writing page I posted a thread that says tell me if this is funny in which my short "The Fantastic Lives Of John and Rob episode 2" is posted. I have had very few people read it but they all say that it made them laugh, so hopefully it makes you laugh.

[msQTpi]

I just posted a story inspired by prompt #2 to the share your work thread.
If you have the time, please take a look.

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16498

Thanks,

Renee'

[Englishmaninhouston]

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18714

This is a link to a short script I wrote. Tell me what you think?

[Yeshanu]

I said I'd post my church humor. Please crit.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=332413#post332413

[guy1782]

I have written a Mockumentary style parody of a ballet competition and posted it on screenwriting critique board. Its called "Burning Ambition" (alt. title Losers). Everyone that posted said it was funny, I would really appreciate further comments and especially help in deciding which opening is funniest out of three which I posted just now on this very humour writing forum, hope thats acceptable. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

[batyler65]

Hi, Guy,
Welcome! You've come to the right place to ask for crits.
I am going to move your actual piece over to the Share Your Work forum (there's a Humor subsection). You might get a wider audience there.

Barb

[Unique]

What can I do to make this more 'Zoomy'?

I like it, but I'd like to build it up more for more impact at the deadpan end.

Here Kritty, kritty:http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=345379

NOTE FROM BARB: The password is "vista". ;)

[Yeshanu]

... but is it funny?

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=347643#post347643

[allenparker]

I made my own prompt for Halloween. If you got a minute, buzz over. If you have a costume that fits this group, share it with me. You can crit if you want, but this was for fun.... You can also steal thisif you wish....

Allen

[Graham]

I'd be interested to know how Australian humour translates into global humour. Is it permissible to post a story in SYW to determine if our humour makes the journey across the great divide?



Regards

[batyler65]

Of course, Graham. No permission is required. :)

Welcome to AW!

Barb

[Graham]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have posted a story in SYW and hope that you find it entertaining. It io entitled, The Mosquitoe Creek Union. I would appreciate your comments either via the forums of in private, whichever you feel comfortable with.

Thank you in advance.

Regards

Graham

[Yeshanu]

This isn't in SYW, it's in the poetry critique section (password "citrus"), but it's got some humour in it, so I thought I'd post a link:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26276

Thanks in advance for any crit.

[Yeshanu]

Just wrote my manifesto in response to Barb's first humour prompt. Crits appreciated.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=504214#post504214

[steadymarvin]

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28582
Thanks

[salhab]

i cant get into the share your work forum because it has a password, can anyone help me be able to 'share some work'????

[batyler65]

The password is "vista" it's listed on the main screen where you click on the Share Your Work forum. :)

[johnwcarlisle]

Have posted an excerpt to my book, Hot Flashes Are Contagious. The excerpt is called "The Big Four-Oh!" although I titled the submission on the SYW as "Needs Critique." I'm a bit slow on the uptake as to how all of this stuff works.

I welcome your suggestions. Thanks.

John
http://aguidetomiddleage.blogspot.com

[rich]

I'd like to comment on some of the work here, but I'm a bit stupid. For instance, I have two passwords one for poems, the other for greeting cards, but I can't seem to get in them. I probably need cookies, (no oreo jokes please)

Will somebody here give me the password and a way to get my cookies off?

[batyler65]

Rich,
I'm no genius at these things. The password for Share your work is "vista", as for enabling your cookies...

Here is what I suggest without knowing your browser:

1. click on the help menu in your browser window

2. In the help file, information about cookies should be listed under "cookies", "privacy" or "security". You need the information on how to "allow cookies" or to "accept cookies" the phrasing may vary.

3. Follow those instructions and voila! You'll get cookies!

Failing that, send a PM to Roger Carlson (Tech Mod) he may be able to help you.

Best of luck,
Barb

[JEP]

I just posted a story in SYW "Notes From Skid Row (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31125)". This piece has received awesome reviews on my blog site (http://jepreport.blogspot.com/) as well as on a comedy website it was published on, but of late has been garnering an impressive array of rejection slips from some of the industry's leading publications. I would really appreciate some honest feedback from fellow aspiring humor writers.

Thank you so much.

[Bret]

Hi funny people. I dove in SYW with a piece called Vacation. A look at the self inflicted pain of getting away from it all.

[savethemooses]

Okay, I posted my first SYW under the title "My hips are dirty, rotten liars."

[fanatic]

Guys, I need your advice about my MAD rejection piece. It's d*mn funny; try not to pee your pants (I swear I'm not bias).

[DreamWorks]

I have been posting funny poems (I, at least, find them, funny) on poetry critique. I just wrote them for fun but have been getting pretty decent responses that make me wonder if I should continue writing more like them or maybe even submit something? Someone please burst my bubble if you feel it must be burst. Thnx in advance!!

[SherryTex]

Put a post in wrong spot, help! Started a thread in Humor --Submission Guidelines that should be in Post your work. How do I undo this?

Eating humble pie and washing it down with a crow milk shake.

[DreamWorks]

Would greatly appreciate all positive and or negative comments on my latest posting "How to get a free gym membership." I personally do not find it vulgar, but was warned to warn people in future. Got one response so far, they said they laughed (albeit possibly at themselves), so shouldn't be that hard to get through. Apart from first initial reference to paedophilia it really is not that low brow at all... could go on hyping this up forever but must eventually submit reply... anyway I will so appreciate anyone who takes from their time to at least try and read it. Thnx!

[SherryTex]

Since the people here have a good sense of writing in addition to a sense of humor, I would ask all of you to look at any one of the three selections I have posted in SYW.

Submission Guidlines for our Periodical (Where should I send this or what needs to be done to tighten it up and make it even more priggish?)

Potty Wars --searching for a place for publication --suggestions welcome.

and third is a stretch for me in the sci-fi section, The Siphoning Man --trying to work on a book, and this is it. Help me sharpen it. --Thank you very much.

[sdarb]

Hi all,
I just posted a chapter of my WIP in the humor section...the book has taken on a life of its own and the chapters (no outline here!!) are transitioning like a VCR tape - fast forward, rewind, pause?

Anyway - it's titled "The Free State"

Thanks in advance!!

[AmyDoodle]

Hi all! I just posted a piece in Share Your Work that didn't come near to kicking the competition in The Writing Fairy contest. Is there any hope or should I disconnect life support now? Thanks for your input!

[Riddler]

Hi all! I just posted a piece in Share Your Work that didn't come near to kicking the competition in The Writing Fairy contest. Is there any hope or should I disconnect life support now? Thanks for your input!

I thought it was hilarious.

[AmyDoodle]

Riddler, You've given me the will to live. I'd reached one of those "why bother" moments, and you pulled me up by my bra, I mean boot, straps.

Why is it that making somebody else laugh makes everything else better? You rock! :e2headban

[JeanneTGC]

Amy, for what it's worth, I think your location description alone is hilarious.

Hang in there, sister. It's not your fault when the biased judges just don't get you. (As I tell myself frequently.)

[AmyDoodle]

Thanks, Jeanne, I needed that! :)

[SherryTex]

Been suggested I post here when I have stuff to put in SYW since recent submissions have had little traffic.

Please let me know how to polish these two pieces, Ateams and Bteams is a bit soft, and Goodalls in Our Midst, well, I think it's good and that's a bit of a problem, I can't see what isn't good about it.

Feel free to crit away if something doesn't feel right to you.

Many thanks in advance

[kikazaru]

Alrighty then, my first work for critique is up. It's called "The Brown Brown Grass of Home."

Thanks in advance to all who take the time to read it.

[Lindo]

Since this seems to be the thread to refer to the thread...take a look at my first pages...and tell me if you agree with that dork agent or not.
THIS CHAPTER DOESN'T SUCK... OR DOES IT? is name of thread. Probably not a good choice for title, huh?

[SherryTex]

Hey Everyone,

I have a new piece in the humor section, Why Aliens Attack America, I am thinking of changing the title to "To Better Serve Mankind" but it needs some polishing, I want to send it to a Sci-fi mag after we get through destroying it enough to make sure each paragraph pops.

Thanks for your help as always and see you on the boards.

Sherrytex
p.s. rep points freely and gratefully given for crits

[wyntermoon]

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?&p=1014135#post1014135

The Pursuit of Ten Minutes of Peace and Quiet

Thanks for looking! :)

[AmyDoodle]

Good work, Wynter. I remember those days!

[wyntermoon]

Good work, Wynter. I remember those days!

Thanks Amy!

[Riddler]

For any who do not lurk in the SYW Humor section, here's a link to my story about my boob job:

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50235

[AmyDoodle]

Everybody needs to read about Riddler's Boob Job. It's hilarious!

[DreamWorks]

I have a humorous piece in... Erotica! It is a steamy, satirical look at a parisian gay gym. PM me if you need help getting in

[xoxo_pr0ud]

Check out "The Sexy Dragon Buffet" in the humor section. It's the first humor piece I've ever written so critique and such is welcomed! :)

[SherryTex]

I never remember to post here, but the piece "What's For Dinner" awaits your verdict. Thanks to all who pause to read and crit. Rep points given.

[Braydie]

If this is improper, would somebody please PM and let me know? And, then please delete this post so I won't be totally humiliated. :)

I just ran across this thread and it looks like it's the place to post information about threads we've started in the SYW Humor genre - and to offer rep points to those who take time to read/critique. In case anyone's interested, I've started threads for:

02/24/07: "Colorful Granny"
02/24/07: "Thermostat Man"
03/16/07: "The Fine Art of Cleaning the Bird Cage"
04/01/07: "We're Having a Baby"

[SherryTex]

Feel free to read for crit, fun, laughs and rep points, the following offerings:

Overeducated and She Can't Read
The Potty Wars Revised
Subprime Speculations
Law and Order in the Food Court

Thanks to all who visit and sit and chat a spell....

[wyntermoon]

Puma was pondering shorts in the humor SYW, how could I resist?

You Put the Lime in the Coconut (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1271704#post1271704)

Thanks for looking! :D

[ALLWritety]

Howdy Guys & Gals,

Just letting you know that I have posted on SYW a novel I am writing. Please go and have a look, give tons of feed back and laugh your pants off.
It is called:
The Interuption
in the Religious writings. I know that this isn't everyones cup of tea but I am sure you will find it funny. Espeically Check out the last bit which is true and i have the email to prove it.
So go and laugh!

Thanks
Kev.

[SherryTex]

:cry: :flag: :Shrug: :e2cry: SYW critters, I have a new posting, Fun with Treadmills...I got no love. I got no traffic. I give rep points. Very very very lonely....sniff....

[Q.Rious]

I have a new post:
"Forward to my new book, Confession of a Celebrity Stalker."

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1411777#post1411777

[Q.Rious]

hmmm, how about Foodies in the Boonies?
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68313

C'mon, tell me how you really feel.

[kkuczma14]

Hey everybody,

I just posted an introductory piece of mine entitled Let It Snow (but not in the Poconos). I hope you like it, but all criticism is welcome!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1550576#post1550576

[kellytijer]

OK, so I joined a few weeks ago because I found a newer author on this site that I admire and thought it might be a good idea to hang out here too. I have moved the forward of my wip over from memior/life story syw to humor swy. Check it out, it is called Mexican by Injection.

[SherryTex]

Summer Novel Daydreams is fresh and pipin' hot from Sherry's computer to you. Get it while its fresh and before it turns and starts stinking up the place.

[kellytijer]

just posted another chapter from mexican by injection called snail trails, its all about voodoo.

[CACTUSWENDY]

Just posted in SYW a little thingy titled....My First and Last Time.

Will get out the bandaids........Thanks ahead of time for reading and your suggestions.

[SherryTex]

Jack Bauer vs. Moms of America
A Sockmoric and Soul Searching Event
Psychoanalysis and the Under Five Set

All await your carving knives. Sharpen up these pieces. draw blood...maybe even laugh a bit. Please...the crickets are starting to get to me.

[dolores haze]

Need some feedback on this piece. It's my first attempt at writing humor. It started out as a gently humourous story for children, then devolved into Goldilocks and the Manson Family. Is it funny at all? I need to know.
Rep points for all - whether you love, like, hate, or are just meh.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82648

Thanks.

[SherryTex]

Wrote a political piece in humor section: Hillary's Family Tree and a second piece, Diary of a Blogging Addict which I will state here for the record is not Factual.

[DonnaDuck]

I would really like some input on my piece, Saturday Sadists. It's a play on words for those that are worried about content.

[hammerklavier]

Hi, how about a crit on "The Mexican Ninja" in the SYW Humor section?

[Yeshanu]

Could some of you humour experts take a look at Grandmother Blues (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2155015#post2155015)? Thanks in advance.

[Yeshanu]

I put something new up (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2247127#post2247127). It's in the fantasy section, but, well... It's me. What can I say? :D

[Martin Smith]

I've got something titled "Commentaries Regarding Music and People: Dylan" posted, if anyone cares to look.

[RabidRabid]

Hi

I've got a post up in Nonfiction SYW, which I think is technically the correct place -- I gave the Mods overnight to disagree -- but is not the place where my intended audience lives.

As much as I'm enjoying the thought of serious essay-minded people wondering what the heck to make of it, I'd be so grateful if a Humor-person could swing by.

Buyer beware, tho: It's loooong for hopefully-funny. ~1650 words or so. And since a link'll jump straight to it, please note that it has some mild profanity and may or may not be a little sexually suggestive. It's here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111194), assuming I inserted the link correctly.

(I was going to post it in Humor, but it's quite rough and I had these visions of people suggesting the kinds of changes that can't be made to NF.)

Thanks!

[Harpo]

I posted a short silly thing a few days ago. Critique or just a word, or nothing at all if you prefer.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111435

[cethklein]

I jsut posted a section from a fantasy parody project in SYW.

It is part of the first chapter, entitled "Bad Deal" (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130486)

[Molfitz]

I just posted a true story on the SYW humor page.

Comment? Critique? Laughs?

Here's the link to Bowling Alley:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=144675

Thank you.

[itdrivesus]

I keep getting prompted to type in a password in order to view these links that everyone is providing. Any idea why this is/what I can do to read the pieces?

[cray]

i sent you the password by pm, itd.

little voices in my head told me to do it. :D

[itdrivesus]

i sent you the password by pm, itd.

little voices in my head told me to do it. :D


Thanks, man. I'm glad your voices and I are on the same page.

And, speaking of which, I posted a dark comedy short...it's really dark, actually, but still funny (I hope). Gallows humor is hilarious, right? Right?

Anyway, here's the link:

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=150556

It's violent, so watch out.

[aragon127]

i sent you the password by pm, itd.

little voices in my head told me to do it. :D

Can I get that too?

[cray]

Can I get that too?


share your work section is here:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=26


password: vista

[quickWit]

Oh, sure! Just give it out to everyone, why don't you?


Who do you think you are, anyway? Inky?






:roll:

too funneh.

[cray]

oh crap,...did i post that out loud?







i guess more people will have to share their work now. :Shrug:

[Diem]

Hi all,

I'm not sure if this is still active as they last post was made ages ago but I popped this http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=168900 up in the SYW forum.

Any criticism would be very much appreciated.