Techy fun

[ChunkyC]

Here's a Macromedia Flash demo of Windows Really Good Edition! (http://www.deanliou.com/WinRG/WinRG.htm)

[Jamesaritchie]

Here's a Macromedia Flash demo of Windows Really Good Edition! (http://www.deanliou.com/WinRG/WinRG.htm)

That's just wrong. My Windows OS doesn't work nearly that well.

[stormie]

Thanks, CC! Needed the laugh. Of course, I still have Windows ME. Problems are an every minute occurance.

[Roger J Carlson]

Absolutely cool.

[ChunkyC]

Bill Gates recently reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the line in the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Apple Computer would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive .. but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This car has performed an illegal operation" warning light.
7.. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, a car buyer would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off."

[awatkins]

Aw, poor Paperclip! hehe. But I won at Solataire! :ROFL:

That was too cute, Charlie. Thanks so much! I needed it after the day I had with my computer yesterday. Come to think of it, I think that's the version of Windows I have! :D

[katiemac]

7.. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


Too true!

[rtilryarms]

LOL! I showed my daughter and told her the last file she downloaded ruined her computer. She is laying on her bed with the door locked and i can hear her muffled sobs through her pillow. hee hee.
Next i will disconnect the phone.

Har har, thanks, it was worth the laugh.

[ChunkyC]

And now, my absolute favorite e-mail, sent by a propellorhead buddy of mine....

***************
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? They own it!

A FEW DAYS LATER . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

[J. Y. Moore]

Re: Abbott/Costello: Sounds like the conversations my husband and I have when I'm trying to play tech support! AARRRGGGGHHH!!

Loved the media player jazz on the Windows RG!

[daoine]

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.


ROFLMAO (Of course I'm picturing hauling the engine components out of a car and then putting them all back again... where did this piece come from?)

[ChunkyC]

daoine -- to the best of my knowledge, this is someone's recollection of what a GM exec actually said in response to Gates' comments. Then again, it could be an urban rumour. Either way, I thought it was pretty dang funny when it hit my inbox.

[daoine]

Hee hee, I didn't read my post properly. Sorry Chunky, I was being facetious - I was picturing myself, having reinstalled my car's engine, finding a motor part that I left out and scratching my head wondering where the piece of car came from.

[ChunkyC]

http://bestsmileys.com/doh/1.gif Y'know, trust me not to 'get' a joke in a joke thread. :rolleyes:


Okay -- so these three Microsoft employees are driving back to Redmond from a company retreat and the brakes fail while going down a long hill. Fortunately, the driver manages to keep the car under control and they coast to a stop at the bottom.

"Wow," says the guy from marketing, "we should form a committee, and schedule some meetings so that we can determine the best course of action to take in order to discover what happened here."

"Nah," says the programming engineer, "let's just take the thing apart until we come across the piece that failed."

"You're both way off base," says the guy from the help desk. "Push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."

[ChunkyC]

Some people have WAY too much time on their hands:

The iWipe (http://techrepublic.com.com/2300-10877_11-5955727-1.html)

[Unique]

Hey, at least he didn't have to put a hole in the wall to install it, right?:idea:

[ChunkyC]

My darling daughter just sent me this one....

---------------------------------------------

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days ... and frankly, God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "That's it! I've had enough. I'm going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every computer job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan ... well, Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky; thunder rolled; rain poured; and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

[Yeshanu]

New technology, for all you techno-geeks:

http://attrition.org/misc/book.html

[ChunkyC]

...don't feel too bad. Check out these calls to tech support:
===============================

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one....
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good. I'll make a note.
Customer: No ...... wait a minute...... I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk........ Sorry.......
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen, pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print.
Every time I try, it says "Can't find printer." I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it....
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah.........that one does work.
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter A, as in apple, a capital letter V, as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter A in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer....
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

[alleycat]

"The cup holder that came with the computer keeps squashing the paper cups."

[alleycat]

Here's a Macromedia Flash demo of Windows Really Good Edition! (http://www.deanliou.com/WinRG/WinRG.htm)I sent that to the system manager where I work . . . last time I saw him he was still laughing. And trying to order food.

[stormie]

Hey, CC, there should have been a beverage alert with post #19. I wonder if Windows comes with an automatic glass cleaner. Maybe I should call tech support....

[poetinahat]

Excellent!

Here's some doco on the Scottish version of Windaes (http://www.firstfoot.com/Tartan%20Trivia/windaes.htm)...

[PrettySpecialGal]

Excellent!

Here's some doco on the Scottish version of Windaes (http://www.firstfoot.com/Tartan%20Trivia/windaes.htm)...

BWAHAHAHAHA!! Yer makin me want to darn that pipe, and get ter blowin!

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/transport/images/59.jpg

[Roger J Carlson]

Speaking of iMac Commercials:

The iMac commercial spoof (http://www.tuaw.com/2006/07/10/vh1s-best-week-ever-spoofs-the-new-mac-ads/)

[Roger J Carlson]

And just to be even handed...

Ctrl + Alt + Del: the history (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zADyh0JQh8&search=ctrl%20alt%20del)

[allion]

I was waiting for the PC guy to clock the Mac guy with his iPod.

It's a testament to the pervasiveness (is that a word?) of the ads that they become spoofed. From what I have heard, even Mac people are less than impressed with the ads because it doesn't present them in the best light.

Karen

[DamaNegra]

"That's a pretty long name for sofware."
"Yep."

[ChunkyC]

A couple of YouTube videos that are hot this week....

So Long, Bill (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NoGbLI3ePA)

Vista Speech Recognition (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Tp320nyyA&NR)

[allion]

Thank you, ChunkyC, for feeding my growing YouTube addiction.

Love the BSOD one, except when it happens to me...

And you wonder what is taking Vista so long? Hmmm...

Karen

[ChunkyC]

The classic BOFH (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard1.html).

[allion]

Pure evil. :D

Karen

[Roger J Carlson]

The saga continues:
BOFH2 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard2.html)
BOFH3 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard3.html)
BOFH4 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard4.html)
BOFH5 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard5.html)
BOFH6 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard6.html)
BOFH7 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard7.html)
BOFH8 (http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard8.html)


I read this at the end of the day, then I had to fight rush-hour traffic to get home. All the way there, I was imagining the evil things I could do to the other drivers. The evil is contagious.

[ChunkyC]

25 Worst Tech Products (http://www.itworldcanada.com/Pages/Docbase/ViewArticle.aspx?id=idgml-42f7b139-c809-4381-b582-3fd0f8240092&view=Preview)

[allion]

Ah, Comet Cursor - that takes me back. We had people install that at work and hijinks ensued in no time at all. Evil piece of crap.

I loathe Real Player with every fibre of my being.

Pointcast = resource hog (also banned at work, but at least it doesn't exist any more, so we can be thankful for that).

Karen
(just whining and moaning as usual)

[ChunkyC]

Oh yeah, Comet Cursor was a curse.

I must admit I was intrigued by the CueCat and did look into it. You could scan any barcode and enter a corresponding URL yourself, so in retail at the time, the idea of being able to scan a product bar code and get taken to a website was kind of interesting. I envisioned having a computer set up that customers could bring an item to, scan it and have the browser automatically launch and go right to a page with info about the product. But the other garbage it did like the tracking etc. was a big turn off.

[stormie]

25 Worst Tech Products (http://www.itworldcanada.com/Pages/Docbase/ViewArticle.aspx?id=idgml-42f7b139-c809-4381-b582-3fd0f8240092&view=Preview)

And here I sit, stuck with one of the worst tech products: Windows ME. Well, at least I can count on it for one thing: it'll freeze at least twice a day.

[ChunkyC]

I am truly embarassed to say that I was a ME beta tester.

You have my apologies. :tongue

[allion]

We had ME for about 3 months. My husband had it installed, found it extremely painful to deal with, and trashed the drive. I think he went back to 98, then to XP once that came out.

ME did not play nice with anything.

Kind of like New Coke when that came out - it just left a bad taste all around. :)

Karen

[L M Ashton]

Oh yeah, Comet Cursor was a curse.

I must admit I was intrigued by the CueCat and did look into it. You could scan any barcode and enter a corresponding URL yourself, so in retail at the time, the idea of being able to scan a product bar code and get taken to a website was kind of interesting. I envisioned having a computer set up that customers could bring an item to, scan it and have the browser automatically launch and go right to a page with info about the product. But the other garbage it did like the tracking etc. was a big turn off.But there were ways to turn off the tracking, so I would have liked to get the CueCat just to read barcodes on my entire library to catalog it.

[ChunkyC]

Yeah, as a cheap barcode scanner, the cuecat was potentially useful. I may still have one buried around here somewhere ... did I just admit that I actually bought one? Oh the shame! Yes, I am a member of EAA: Early Adopters Anonymous.

[allion]

Today's PSA:

Firefox 2.0 is scheduled to release tomorrow, I think.

And all my extensions will be broken for a while until that gets worked out.

Karen

[Fahim]

Firefox 2.0 is scheduled to release tomorrow, I think.
And all my extensions will be broken for a while until that gets worked out.


:tongue I'm using FireFox 2.0 RC3 and all of my extensions work - of course, I think I'm uisng a dev build of TabMix Plus and I might have had to bump up a few of the others using Nightly Tester tools but a lot of extensions are now built so that they work up to FireFox 3.0 alpha and so the 2.0 builds have not had as many issues as before :)

[allion]

I'm on Firefox 2.0 now and it's neat. It's easier to close individual tabs, nice scroll feature to run through the list of tabs I have open (and I usually have 20+ open, so that's a good thing), and I have a Hallowe'en theme. Some extensions are not functional yet (I want my session saver back!) but it's early.

And because MS has decided that those who run 2000 are not good enough to use IE7, they can bite me.

Karen

[Fahim]

Some extensions are not functional yet (I want my session saver back!) but it's early.

You don't like the built-in session saving in 2.0? I find that it works better than Session Saver did for me :)

[Roger J Carlson]

ChunkyC,

This one's for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw

[allion]

You don't like the built-in session saving in 2.0? I find that it works better than Session Saver did for me :)

Ah, Fahim, I did some digging on the Firefox boards and found the tweak I needed. The session restore is a wonderful thing. Seamless, which I like. Now, I don't need session saver now. I just love the tweaking and adjusting and general fun I can have with this browser. And best of all - no popup ads! YAY!

Karen

[L M Ashton]

So, Roger, it was YOU who shared White & Nerdy, huh? Fahim's listened to it 2 1/2 times already, and he's saving it. :D He's Brown & Nerdy. :tongue

[ChunkyC]

OMG! That's so ... me.

Next up: The 13 most embarassing web moments (http://www.itworldcanada.com/a/The-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/57c506e5-d14c-43d6-b9fc-1e5c49f62b28.html), as voted on by itWorldCanada.

[Roger J Carlson]

Here's another. I'm not sure if it belongs here or in the Religious forum, but see if you can find yourself.

http://www.jhuger.com/mui

[aka eraser]

Charlie made me post this (http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22065). If he, Fahim and Roger have problems explaining it to you techie types, just PM me and I'll do my best.

;)

[ChunkyC]

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/pi_bigsmile.gif

[Medievalist]

I still think it's brilliant, and ahh, historically accurate.

[benbradley]

I recall an Isaac Asimov story, "The Holmes-Ginsbook Device" in I forget, Opus 100 or Opus 200, and surely published elsewhere as well. It had an interesting take on why the device was invented. (obligatory oink)

[ChunkyC]

iPhone (http://www.flixxy.com/iphone.htm)

YouTube video. :)

[ChunkyC]

A man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

[stormie]

Thanks, CC! I needed that bit of Internet laugh. I've been on a new wireless laptop in this house, trying to get it set up to recognize my main computer. For three hours. Finally did. I think.

[ChunkyC]

John Cleese's Friendly Advice Machine (http://www.friendlyadvicemachine.com/)

[ChunkyC]

The coolest t-shirt (http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/991e/) ever.

[DamaNegra]

The coolest t-shirt (http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/991e/) ever.
Wooo. I want that.

[DamaNegra]

You know how some people just don't get technology no matter that? Well, my family's like that. And they think I'm author support. Here are two of the funniest anecdotes:

Back in the day, we only had one computer connected to the Internet (52 kbps connection!! wow!!). I had another computer in my room, but needed to download something from my mail. My mom was using the computer, so I asked her to borrow the computer for a second. She'd been playing solitarie, so I just downsized the window and opened up Internet Explorer.
"What did you just do?!? You closed my game!! I was playing!! I was about to win!! Out!! Out!! What are you doing!!!" My lovely mon raged on and on, and I was shocked.
"Mom... I didn't close your game."
"Yes you did! Where is it? Where is it? See! You closed it!" So I rolled my eyes and clicked on the icon to maximize the window again and lo! there was her game, intact. She stared at the screen for a couple of seconds, impressed.
"How did you do that?? I didn't know you could save your games."
*sigh*

And then, not too long ago, my grandfather decided that he wanted to buy a laptop, so he did. One day he was staying over at our place and at about 1 am he comes up to my room (thankfully I was awake, doing homework (which I should be doing now, but that's not the point)) and says:
"Dama, something's wrong with my machine! It suddenly just shut down and I can't get it to start up!" I started with the basic. I pressed the On button (you never know). Then I started fiddling with other things. I took the battery on and off. Nothing seemed to work, all right. Nothing except...
"Grandpa, is the battery charged?"
"I don't know. Let me checked." He plugged the computer in and lo! it turned on. "Oh, you're a genius! Thank you, Dama!" ...........

[DamaNegra]

http://eightsolid.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/13.jpg

[DamaNegra]

You know you've spent too much time working on computers when....

You are reading a book in front of the computer and when you get to the end of the page you grab the mouse to scroll down to see the next page... and wonder why it's not working.

[stormie]

^^:roll:^^

[Roger J Carlson]

You are reading a book in front of the computer ...What's a "book"?

[DamaNegra]

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e95/DamaNegra/5851.jpg

[Homewrecker]

...don't feel too bad. Check out these calls to tech support:
===============================
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good. I'll make a note.
Customer: No ...... wait a minute...... I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk........ Sorry.......
=============== ."

Thanks for these Chunky. I don't feel so bad that my laptop's mouse stopped working this morning and it took an embarassingly long time to realize that I was two inches to left of the mouse touch pad.

[ChunkyC]

Hi HW!

I've done the opposite of that -- wondered why the cursor was jumping all over the screen until I realized the underside of my wrist was brushing the touchpad as I typed. :D

[ChunkyC]

Bad joke of the day....

What do you do when you're computer crashes?

Give it mouse-to-mouse.

[ChunkyC]

Okay, this'll have to be it for today....

A Guide to Software Revisions

v1.0 / 03 jan 96 / gvg

Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there's substantially more information available through the rev code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.

1.0:

Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta". We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We're praying that you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.

1.1:

We fixed all the killer bugs ...

1.2:

Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.

2.0:

We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you, it's really not what the customer needs yet, but we're working on it.

2.1:

Well, not surprisingly, we broke some things in making major changes so we had to fix them. But we did a really good job of testing this time, so we don't think we introduced any new bugs while we were fixing these bugs.

2.2:

Uh, sorry, one slipped through. One lousy typo error and you won't believe how much trouble it caused!

2.3:

Some anal-retentive pain in the ass found a deep-seated bug that's been there since 1.0 and has been raising hell until we fixed it.

3.0:

Hey, we finally think we've got it right! Most of the customers are really happy with this.

3.1:

Of course we did break a few little things.

4.0:

More features. It's doubled in size now, by the way, and you'll need to get more memory and a faster processor ...

4.1:

Just one or two bugs this time. Honest.

5.0:

We really need to go on to a new product but we have an installed base out there to protect. We're cutting the staffing after this.

6.0:

We had to fix a few things we broke in 5.0. Not very many, but it's been so long since we looked at this thing we might as well call it a major upgrade. Oh, yeah, we added a few flashy cosmetic features so we could justify the major upgrade number.

6.1:

Since I'm leaving the company and I'm the last guy left in the lab who works on the product, I wanted to make sure that all the changes I've made are incorporated before I go. I added some cute demos, too, since I was getting pretty bored back here in my dark little corner (I kept complaining about the lighting but they wouldn't do anything). They're talking about obsolescence planning but they'll try to keep selling it for as long as there's a buck or two to be made. I'm leaving the bits in as good a shape as I can in case somebody has to tweak them, but it'll be sheer luck if no one loses them.

[HeronW]

I wondered why my cursor was going all over the wrong way.. the cat had played with the A4 cordless mouse and I was using it upside down...sigh..

[stormie]

Goes to show you, Heron, a mouse needs a tail. <Groan> :gone:

C.C.--that had me laughing. So true!

[benbradley]

New technology, for all you techno-geeks:

http://attrition.org/misc/book.html

That is NOT "New Technology." It was invented in the 1960's by Isaac Asimov, and described in his short story "The Holmes-Ginsbook Device" included in his 100th book "Opus 100" and is available (the short story, not the book or the device) for purchase here (free excerpt gives you the flavor):

http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/eBook3062.htm

How ironic (Asimov is surely giggling in his grave) that this story is available in e-format.

[benbradley]

I recall an Isaac Asimov story, "The Holmes-Ginsbook Device" in I forget, Opus 100 or Opus 200, and surely published elsewhere as well. It had an interesting take on why the device was invented. (obligatory oink)
Oh, No, it DejaNecroThreadia all over again!

[DamaNegra]

For those of you who still have XP, here's a cool easter egg:

1. Open Windows XP and go to Start, then run.
2. Type in or copy "telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl" without the quotes.
3. Sit back and watch the ASCII movie :)

[Fahim]

For those of you who still have XP, here's a cool easter egg:

1. Open Windows XP and go to Start, then run.
2. Type in or copy "telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl" without the quotes.
3. Sit back and watch the ASCII movie :)

Dama, that's not really an XP easter egg or even something Windows specific :) You are basically telnetting to somebody's server where the ASCII movie is playing and that can be accessed via any telnet client from a UNIX, Linux, Mac or Windows machine ... but it's a cool movie :)

ETA: I just watched it via an external client on Vista. For those folks who have a fierewall, trying to use that command might result in a warning that you're trying to access the Internet (depending on whether you've used Telent before or not etc.). Relax, it's not a virus. It's just the telnet command accessing an external server :)

[L M Ashton]

Or DOS. :) Can't forget DOS. :D

[DamaNegra]

Whatever it is, it's still cool :D

[ChunkyC]

Just ran it in a terminal window on Linux, it is cool!

[DamaNegra]

Geek eye chart :D enjoy!

http://www.2flashgames.com/2fgkjn134kjlh1cfn81vc34/flash/f-Eye-Chart-5142.jpg

[ChunkyC]

PC vs MAC (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEAGmBRC1dc)
(warning, a little cussin' here and there)

iPod (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF-qX72om5w)

[DamaNegra]

http://pw0nd.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/iphone_shuffle-500x300.jpg

Found here (http://pw0nd.com/2008/06/14/iphone-suffle/).

[stormie]

^^Ohh...fun!^^