The fact is Im lost in this rhyming

[Pupy]

I would love to give poetry a good shot but I always end up rhyming as if i'm still at primary school.
How can I clear my mind and write with out this habit. what happens is with My last word of every sentence My brain instantly searches for a word that will rhyme.
Can people share examples of none rhyming poems they have written.
Thanks.

[Ciera_]

just google 'free verse poetry' and you'll get a feel for how they work, even if you don't come across very good poetry at first. Or you could just force your lines to not rhyme for a while, then read over it and maybe that'll help you get a feel for it all. If you really want to rhyme, though, go for it. Serious poetry can rhyme, y'know. Wasn't there some guy who wrote some sonnets or something that rhymed? I think people took him pretty seriously as a poet.
Just write what feels natural, unless you really really want to write some non-rhyming poetry. But I don't see why you would want to, if rhymes come easily to you.
My favourite schemes have lines with two words beside eachother that rhyme, some sections that don't rhyme at all, and random couplets/ quadruplets/ ABA chunks. Free-verse rhyming, I guess you could call it.
Good luck!

[Donkey]

I'm just curious....
Would you pronounce your handle like 'Puppy' or 'Poopy'? And what do you think of Snoopy?

Sorry. It's late and I'm bored. Never a good excuse.

[Pupy]

just google 'free verse poetry' and you'll get a feel for how they work, even if you don't come across very good poetry at first. Or you could just force your lines to not rhyme for a while, then read over it and maybe that'll help you get a feel for it all. If you really want to rhyme, though, go for it. Serious poetry can rhyme, y'know. Wasn't there some guy who wrote some sonnets or something that rhymed? I think people took him pretty seriously as a poet.
Just write what feels natural, unless you really really want to write some non-rhyming poetry. But I don't see why you would want to, if rhymes come easily to you.
My favourite schemes have lines with two words beside eachother that rhyme, some sections that don't rhyme at all, and random couplets/ quadruplets/ ABA chunks. Free-verse rhyming, I guess you could call it.
Good luck!
Thanks for that, good advice :0)
heres a link to a poem as a adult Im stuck in rhyming, as a teen it was easier not to.
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129716
I won awards when I didn't rhyme and now I rhyme all the time and am told its lame? So i want to free my self and mind up of habit.
I will do as you have mentioned.......hugs

[Pupy]

I'm just curious....
Would you pronounce your handle like 'Puppy' or 'Poopy'? And what do you think of Snoopy?

Sorry. It's late and I'm bored. Never a good excuse.


LOL its puppy, but u can call me poopy if u like pmsl...

[Priene]

Your problem isn't with rhyming. It's that you've not implemented any regular metrical pattern at all. If you write rhyming poems with no metre, they'll sound like they're written by a schoolchild.

[Billytwice]

There's nothing wrong with rhyme
I do it all the time

[HeronW]

One of my fav authors is Dr Seuss for his silly lyrical rhymed stories--nothing wrong with them though he always draws knees backwards. Classical poets like Browning and Shakespeare do these rich sonnets--ending in rhymes. Then there's free verse ex: Maya Angelou that can ripple and flow sans rhyme. Epic poems like the Illiad and Beowulf are action packed. Keep reading various authors and learn what works for you.

[Teena]

Bottom-line, rhyming poetry is still poetry! But I know what you mean. I wrote a ballad of over 100 lines but because it rhymed it appeared less serious than the subject matter. :Shrug: I write both rhyming & non-rhyming poetry...depends on what comes to me.

Here's something you might try as an exercise: take one of your existing poems and sit down with the Thesaurus...force a new word for at least one of every rhyming pair. Then cut unnecessary words, change the line breaks, and see how it flows.

There are some wonderful examples of free verse (and other styles) in the Poetry Critique forum, and some detailed crits that show how to revise a poem to improve it. You might read some of those for ideas. If you want to PM me with one of your rhyming pieces, I'll take a crack at revising it for you just as an example....

[moblues]

cherry blossoms

rose thorns

I never know
what each day


will bring




You don't need to rhyme to write poetry. You just need to speak to your audience.









mike

[moblues]

Please know one thing. One Thing:

There are no rules. Period. I don't care about the crap I'm going to get after this post.

There Are No Rules.

I follow meter as much as I can. But when it works, it works. If I had to add or subtract a beat to make a piece work, so what?


Understand that this is an art form, and with art comes gradual change. Have fun with it.




Mike

[Pupy]

I think I do write immature poem's.
This is one I wrote

Some dogs.
I popped out so small and wet,
My mummy licked me all over ill never forget.

I loved her so and all my littler mates,
We grew together and started eating off plates.

We wagged our tails when we saw our human leader,
then off in a crate I left my Breeder.

Flying high in the sky in a jumbo jet, the sound hurt my ears,
And when the cage opened there was some one who cares.

I learnt lots like how to sit and stay,
it and was fun to be hugged and play.

My new mummy was really cool.
and once I was so proud when she took me to school.

All of the kids loved patting me,
I was so happy fulled with Glee.

One morning I awoke to a quick piddle out side and a pat,
then off in a crate on my favorite Matt.

In the truck we drove for a long time,
I knew that everything had changed it was no longer fine.

Being dropped off in a new home,
I sat in the wash house all alone.

Then I went outside held by the scruff of my neck,
and thrown in a cage I thought what the heck.

Another dog that shared my run,
Bullied me and hurt me it wasn't much fun.

I couldn't get away he was there in my cage,
I waited everyday for my food at that stage.

I hadn't had affection I hated each day.
I wondered what I did wrong to be sent away.

Then my new owner put me in a cardboard box,
I sat in there with dirty old socks.

The lid was shut tight I couldn't get out,
and when I tried he would shout.

I felt sad and scared what was wrong with me,
When I got out of the box all I could see.

Were hundreds of other dogs barking Runs,
I was put in one under the hot baking sun.

Some other dogs were taken to new places,
others were dragged off with shock on their faces.

I tried to sleep feeling totally alone,
When an old lady walked passed holding her cell phone.

She stopped and put her hand through my cage then rubbed my Fur.
My body trembled as I wanted to be hugged by her .

In a feeling of love and warmth that was the start.
she demanded the door open and held me close to her heart.

She carried me gently off to her car,
I looked deep into her brown eyes and knew we would go far.

For such along time I didnt know what was wrong with me.
I finally worked out it wasnt my fault it was my other owners you see.

IM happy for any good and bad feed back its the best way to learn.

[Priene]

There are no rules

Wrong in so many ways.

[Deccydiva]

It has to have rhythm, at least. Mine are mostly rhyming (and on dogs) but they each follow a particular "format" or type. They also tell a mini story in most cases. I wouldn't know where to even start on yours, Pupy, I suggest you put it up in SYW and see what responses you get there.

[Epicurean]

IM happy for any good and bad feed back its the best way to learn.
Your writing is the problem, not your rhyming. It lacks sophistication. If I were you I'd start reading more poetry, particularly the early work of Anne Sexton, who used rhyme schemes in the majority, if not all, of her poems in that period.

I don't know if any of her poems were composed entirely of rhyming couplets, but that's besides the point because a well thought out use of word choice, imagery, and progression of theme can make a poem of any form excellent. In your poem, these two couplets stood out in their atrociousness:

My new mummy was really cool.
and once I was so proud when she took me to school.

All of the kids loved patting me,
I was so happy fulled with Glee.

There has to be a better way of describing someone than "really cool?" What did she do that was so cool? Cool is such a vague and ambiguous term, it could mean anything. And why was the puppy proud when he was taken to school. Who was he proud of?

The kids...patting and stuff. You are telling instead of showing. What does a person do when patting a puppy? His/her hand brushes the fur. When the hand brushes the fur what does it feel? What does the the puppy feel, being patted by a mass of kids at the same time. If it's glee, why say glee? What does a puppy do when he/she is filled with glee? Does it not wag its tail, maybe run around in circles, jump on people's laps?

Also keep in mind that rhyming couplets lead to a pause at the end of the second line. Separating couplets only furthers the choppiness of the read, especially in a poem with a continuous storyline like yours.

Improve your writing, because right now it is devoid of description. I'm reading A Farewell to Arms, only my second foray into Hemingway and the man can describe anything. I can taste the food, I can feel the glee. You should aspire to that standard when writing poetry.

[Epicurean]

There Are No Rules.

You are wrong. "No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job."

To say otherwise is to encourage people to write crap and call it poetry.

[KTC]

It does seem to lack sophistication, but more importantly it lacks the music I look for in a poem. What others are calling rhythm. If it lacks rhythm, it falls flat and a reader will walk away. Rhythm saves.

[KTC]

You are wrong. "No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job."

To say otherwise is to encourage people to write crap and call it poetry.


I do feel I know where Mo is coming from. There are rules, but when you are in the trenches, you cannot write through rules...you must fly above them or the poem will sound stilted as though you can see the scaffolding that holds it. I have stated, off the cuff, that there are no rules. I know there are rules, but I don't kill myself with them.

[moblues]

Wrong in so many ways.

Please enlighten me as to why this is so wrong. Sure there are rules. Yes, you need to know them to break them. This is why I studied jazz theory years ago. Now when I play, I don't have to think about theory. I can just play.

Same with writing. No one can tell me the way I write modern minimalism is wrong. Just like I can't tell you the way you write your poetry is wrong. It's simply different.

What I mean by there being no rules is that there is no absolute one way to go about writing poetry. Maybe I should have been more clear.




Mike

[poetinahat]

We've got a whole forum full of poetry. Much of it doesn't rhyme.

Start reading. Good luck.

[Teena]

What I mean by there being no rules is that there is no absolute one way to go about writing poetry.

Mike,
I am so in agreement with the statement above that I could do that TV commercial where they stand in the red spot and say..."I'm there."

I KNOW there are some rules, but there are so many ways to write poetry. I'm not big on writing "form" poetry that has to meet a specific criteria. It becomes too much about perfect form and not enough about the words and the images they portray, for me. Yeah, I like to read that stuff, but I don't like to be hemmed in when I write.

And I like your minimalist style. IMO, the bigger the picture drawn with the fewest perfect words is the backbone of poetry. It gives the reader free will for interpretation -- as long as it isn't so concise that your point is lost.

[Dipstick]

I can relate to the concerns of Pupy. I always felt that poetry that rhymed was better than poetry that did not, as long as it was not forced... and so my stuff has always been edited so that it did rhyme.

Is that wrong? How do we know when a rhyme improves a poem and when it hinders?

[moblues]

I can relate to the concerns of Pupy. I always felt that poetry that rhymed was better than poetry that did not, as long as it was not forced... and so my stuff has always been edited so that it did rhyme.

Is that wrong? How do we know when a rhyme improves a poem and when it hinders?

All I can tell you is this, D:

Just write the damn thing. Don't think about rhyming. Let the piece write itself. If it rhymes--it rhymes. If it doesn't--it doesn't. Just don't force it.




Mike

[Dichroic]

There is one rule: "if you're going to do it, do it right. " But there are no rules are to what 'it' is.

If you have a meter scheme, stick to it unless you break it for a very good reason. If you have a rhyme scheme, figure out what your scheme is and make it right. But you don't have to have either one*, and if you do, remember that they are there to serve the poem, not the other way around.

* I think maybe it is possible to have rhyme without regular rhythm - Langston Hughes' What Happens to a Dream Deferred is one example.

[Teena]

Oh, yeah, I do have a rule. One rule that affects every piece of writing.....no spelling errors! (Made-up words excepted.) Everyone overlooks one once in a while, but for the most part - proofread. I suck at punctuation, but I'm a purty gud speler.

'Nuff said. :D

[Dipstick]

Thanks for the replies all.

[Pupy]

OK I'm trying not to rhyme. It may be forced it doesn't feel natural to not rhyme.


Alone is where I have always felt comfort.
The sound of my heart beating as one,
Noise surrounds me as I stand alone.
Anger and hatred revenge devour all,
But I’m unable to connect, happily alone.
Dreams desires keep me on track,
I’m without any one on common ground.
Bursts of energy direct my road my future,
So many people misguided no map of their world.
As they hungrily feed off my all,
Faith and passion keep my ambitions real.

[LimeyDawg]

Mike,

This is somewhat correct, but there are things that work and things that don't. The "rules" are a pretty solid compass for getting a poem where it has the potential to go. If you ignore them, you end up where you were headed in the first place.

LD

Please know one thing. One Thing:

There are no rules. Period. I don't care about the crap I'm going to get after this post.

There Are No Rules.

I follow meter as much as I can. But when it works, it works. If I had to add or subtract a beat to make a piece work, so what?


Understand that this is an art form, and with art comes gradual change. Have fun with it.




Mike