Grooves, Gripes and Gropes - Discussion for the Inaug. Poem Contest

[poetinahat]

A million and a half people staring at the stain on my tie
or the cowlick over my forehead.

So much depends
on a thin plastic coffee cup lid
and a jar of styling gel.

[dclary]

It's due when?

I picked a bad day to stop ingesting peyote.

[Dipstick]

Ummmmm....... call me a noob, but what is this anyway?

[poetinahat]

There's a contest going on - write your own Inauguration Poem. Look at the top of the Poetry Forum for the thread.

This thread is just for people to discuss, whine, vent, enthuse, etc. about their experiences writing their entries.

I was in a rather strange headspace when I started the thread.

Noob. ;)

P.S. The last bit is a riff on William Carlos Williams' poem The Red Wheelbarrow (http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15537), discussed and lampooned here some time ago.

[KTC]

strange indeed.

[dclary]

Especially since we all know no one can see a cowlick under a hat.

[III]

Plus "depends" doesn't rhyme with "lid" so ... double whammy

[Feiss]

*sidles in*

*gropes the Inaugural poem contest's ample bosoms, jiggles them really, watches them flobble about*

*snicker snicker*

*sneaks out*

[KTC]

Pardon me. I was looking for the weirdo parade. I must have taken a wrong turn. Wait now...there it goes now.

[poetinahat]

Belly raspberries for all!

[Feiss]

TEEEEHEEEHEEEHEEEE


*snort giggle snort*

HEE!

[KTC]

I have grapes for the discussion. Grapes to add to the plethora of gripes and gropes.


It just seemed necessary.

[Feiss]

I have grapes for the discussion. Grapes to add to the plethora of gripes and gropes.


It just seemed necessary.

*groans

[KTC]

I don't believe groan was an option, Missy.

[poetinahat]

/chortle/

*wipes mouth with sleeve*

(whew!)

*massages face, now numb and sore from laughing*

Seriously. I've done a draft, and it's as though I'm driving along a mountainside dirt road in an old, yellow Blue Bird school bus. On one side is the rock-cobbled hill, representing bland metaphor peppered with sickly platitudes.

On the other side is the sheer drop into obscure irrelevance.

Praise song for crap poems.

[caseyquinn]

i think this contest is impossible. there i said it. i am sticking to it. poems are best effective when very personal and specific. something of this magnetitude requires a broad stroke, connection of topics wide and far fetching .... AHHHH!!!! I AM GOING INSANE... okay, i pulled it together... my poem is going to be the biggest piece of poo this contest has ever seen, but damn it your all going to have to read it!

*goes to cry in the corner*

[Feiss]

I don't believe groan was an option, Missy.


ahh, so you want to grapple, I see

[Feiss]

i think this contest is impossible. there i said it. i am sticking to it. poems are best effective when very personal and specific. something of this magnetitude requires a broad stroke, connection of topics wide and far fetching .... AHHHH!!!! I AM GOING INSANE... okay, i pulled it together... my poem is going to be the biggest piece of poo this contest has ever seen, but damn it your all going to have to read it!

*goes to cry in the corner*

*looks up from corner in which she has been crying all week*

I know. I know how you feel Casey.

[KTC]

/chortle/

*wipes mouth with sleeve*

(whew!)

*massages face, now numb and sore from laughing*

Seriously. I've done a draft, and it's as though I'm driving along a mountainside dirt road in an old, yellow Blue Bird school bus. On one side is the rock-cobbled hill, representing bland metaphor peppered with sickly platitudes.

On the other side is the sheer drop into obscure irrelevance.

Praise song for crap poems.


I tried to tackle this. I'm still going to try, but I feel you have to capture an essence that really doesn't have a lot to do with the actual inauguration (obviously) but maybe senses the pulse...if you know what I mean. I don't know. I think I'm going to be reading a whole bunch of past inaugural poems to try to figure out what the hell it's all about. I am sensing pulse. Who the hell am I, though...not an American.

[Feiss]

I tried to tackle this. I'm still going to try, but I feel you have to capture an essence that really doesn't have a lot to do with the actual inauguration (obviously) but maybe senses the pulse...if you know what I mean. I don't know. I think I'm going to be reading a whole bunch of past inaugural poems to try to figure out what the hell it's all about. I am sensing pulse. Who the hell am I, though...not an American.


I was thinking maybe we just need to write about what strikes us as the best thing about America, or maybe our own experience in America, like being an immigrant (for me)...hmm...I might have an idea. But it might end up sucking a fart.

[Izz]

ahh, so you want to grapple, I see*grins*

[caseyquinn]

sucking a fart.


why can;t i stop laughing right now because of this statement? has this contest killed my brain? have i drank too much *realizes his wine glass empty* ... hahaha sucking a fart... classic

[Izz]

have i drank too much yes, you has...

[KTC]

I was thinking maybe we just need to write about what strikes us as the best thing about America, or maybe our own experience in America, like being an immigrant (for me)...hmm...I might have an idea. But it might end up sucking a fart.


My main experience with America is sitting on a beach in North Myrtle, SC, eating a choco taco...and getting sand in uncomfortable places. I am not sure that would fly for this white guy???

[Feiss]

why can;t i stop laughing right now because of this statement? has this contest killed my brain? have i drank too much *realizes his wine glass empty* ... hahaha sucking a fart... classic


fart sucking is serious business. you should be ashamed, sir.

[KTC]

fart sucking is serious business. you should be ashamed, sir.

Never suck farts when wearing your asshat.

[Feiss]

My main experience with America is sitting on a beach in North Myrtle, SC, eating a choco taco...and getting sand in uncomfortable places. I am not sure that would fly for this white guy???

oh beautiful
for spacious beaches
for sand among my balls
for south carolina mornings
on North Myrtle beaches
tacos that are chocolate
choclates that are taco.

I know this beauty well
for I am Canadian
and though my land is beautiful
it does not gritty my privies

So this white guy
he flies
he flies
and buys a delicious combo treat
on such an America streetcorner
as this
for a miraculous $1.99

and isn't that
the American dream?

[Izz]

My main experience with America is sitting on a beach in North Myrtle, SC, eating a choco taco...and getting sand in uncomfortable places. I am not sure that would fly for this white guy???What's the State between California and Washington on the West Coast? I drove through it once - it all looked the same.

State of Purgatory, perhaps?

And then we drove through Washington (which was nice) and up into Canada and it was like i'd finally discovered what it was to be alive...

[KTC]

oh beautiful
for spacious beaches
for sand among my balls
for south carolina mornings
on North Myrtle beaches
tacos that are chocolate
choclates that are taco.

I know this beauty well
for I am Canadian
and though my land is beautiful
it does not gritty my privies

So this white guy
he flies
he flies
and buys a treat
on such an America streetcorner
as this
for a miraculous $1.99

and isn't that
the American dream?


Quoted for smackdownedness. WE HAVE A WINNER, MR. OBAMA!

[KTC]

What's the State between California and Washington on the West Coast? I drove through it once - it all looked the same.

State of Purgatory, perhaps?

And then we drove through Washington (which was nice) and up into Canada and it was like i'd finally discovered what it was to be alive...

Canada does that to people. Oddly, though, it does not do it to Canadians?

[Feiss]

Quoted for smackdownedness. WE HAVE A WINNER, MR. OBAMA!


Yessss. Rob. You may send the poetry book posthaste, along with libations and a chocotaco

[KTC]

Or is that in the post, haste.

[Feiss]

Or is that in the post, haste.


To wit, I'm done with your wit, twit.

[KTC]

your hit cuts me to the quick.

[Feiss]

only because you tick with my schtick

[Izz]

Canada does that to people. Oddly, though, it does not do it to Canadians?It's all the empty space. I could hear myself think - but i can see how i wouldn't like that for too long...

[KTC]

tick? darn near killed me. schticks and stones will only hurt me if they're stones.

[Feiss]

Ever notice when you're stoned time seems to slow along with the internal bleeding?

[KTC]

Ever notice when you're stoned time seems to slow along with the internal bleeding?


rocks will screw up the space time continuum every time.

[poetinahat]

Praise song for fart-sucking chocotaco north-of-the-border hijinks.

[Teena]

What's the State between California and Washington on the West Coast? I drove through it once - it all looked the same.

Isaac, that is the state of Orygun. State flower: cannabis, or is that cannibals? State tree: duh! Look around and it's all you see. State bird: red-breasted tart...oops, no that's Nevada. State motto: Don't Californicate Orygun!

Puleeeeeeeeeeze, I only jest; do not ban, burn or bore me. If my house would sell, I'd be living in Oregon right now!!

[Dipstick]

This thread has been an inspirational demonstration of the mastery of higher language if ever I read one.

I hereby declare the inauguration of a smog citation. Any and all further fart sucking will be penalized with a 50 word fine as fair and equal compensation for the carbon emissions of said fart, and the irreversible damage inflicted on the populations of the world due to the increase in global warming due directly to said fart.

[Izz]

Too many syllables, dude.

(*snerkle* you said fart)

[Cassiopeia]

you people scare me.

[Feiss]

This thread has been an inspirational demonstration of the mastery of higher language if ever I read one.

I hereby declare the inauguration of a smog citation. Any and all further fart sucking will be penalized with a 50 word fine as fair and equal compensation for the carbon emissions of said fart, and the irreversible damage inflicted on the populations of the world due to the increase in global warming due directly to said fart.

I sucked a fart, and I ain't payin. Haha. Just try and subpoena me, I'll breathe in your face.

[Izz]

She will, too.

That's why Cassiopeia's so scared.

[Dipstick]

LOL.....

[KTC]

i see stinky people.

[dclary]

I guaranfuckingtee I will not vote for any poem that has the phrase "praise song" in it.

[Feiss]

i see stinky people.


holy crap, then it turns out bruce willis is actually a stinky person.

[poetinahat]

I guaranfuckingtee I will not vote for any poem that has the phrase "praise song" in it.
Motion carried.

[KTC]

i do not carry motions. that's just gross. if it's brown, i flush it down.

[Feiss]

i do not carry motions. that's just gross. if it's brown, i flush it down.


You are the gross one that is brown, sir.

[ddgryphon]

Wow. Lose power for a couple of days and suddenly everybody's sucking farts with asshats on.


That stuff'll kill you, yaknow.


Last one is is apparently gross and brown.


There's nothing wrong with the coffee. Really.

[Dichroic]

I figured out the easy way: you'll know mine because it will be the totally derivative one

...er, if I get it finished.
...er, maybe not that easy.

*No farts were sucked in the making of this poem.

[Dichroic]

You know, I'm beginning to sympathize with the Poet Laureate. I've written stuff to order before (e.g. for contests here) but it's *hard* to do so when the result really matters.

I'm working on one for my brother's wedding, and I'm pretty stuck. (Fortunately the wedding isn't until August.)

[kdnxdr]

The really sad part of the Inaugural Poem is that it wasn't the National Poet Laureate that was asked to present the poem. It was an old friend of Obama's, some professor lady.

[kdnxdr]

Ya'll have inspired me to drag out my own ode to my fart:

my fart

it's an innocuous innuendo
a private joke imposed
inoberservant inoculation
inoffensive I suppose
inordinate and inodorous
just -
inopportune for your nose

[kdnxdr]

I didn't mean to chase everyone away :(

[Dipstick]

kdnxdr... your poem stinks... or perhaps it is just your topic.

Just kidding.... made me smile and proves a point... poetry is free from the limitations of prose... It defines freedom and is wonderful regardless of its subject matter. I loved it!